Hello everyone,
I am completely new to this site and might be posting this in the wrong forum but I just needed to pour my heart out.
So I had adopted a shy cat from my local shelter a little over two months ago. He was my first cat ever, I named him Gilderoy and loved him from the start even though he never really wanted to come out of hiding or have me be near him. I figured that that is normal and that he just needed time to get adjusted to me and his new home. After the first 3 days he started eating regularly, he was using the litter box and after about 7 weeks he even played during the night time (but only when I was asleep). I tried everything I could to get him used to me - toys, tasty treats, shirts with my scent, talking to him, feliway diffusers.
Two weeks ago I noticed that he had hurt himself somehow, he had to bloody crusts on his head (I think he might've scratched himself). I decided to watch the wounds to see if I needed to try and somehow pack him up to take him to the vet. The wounds seemed to be clean but then a couple of days later I noticed that he was starting to lose hair around the areas.
So I ended up calling the shelter where I got him from to ask for help.
After explaining the situation and how he had been the past two months of living with me, we concluded that I should bring him back to the shelter, since he did not seem to be happy with me. I packed him up with the help of my boyfriend and brought him back to the shelter and I was crying so much. I'm still tearing up just thinking about it. They encouraged me to come back and adopt another cat, which I did after a week of grieving. My new cat is super lovely and we're best buddies already. But I am feeling such guilt about bringing my first cat back. The wonderful people at the shelter told me he might just be a cat that preferred living around 30 other cats and when I visited he seemed much more alive and happier than when he was living with me. But I just still can't help but feeling guilty. I keep asking myself if I should have waited longer, given him more time or if I could've done more, especially when I think f him playing at night. I feel like he must've made progress just by starting to do that, and I feel horrible thinking that I gave up on him. But at the same time I wonder if it just was not the right fit and if I did the best for both of us by bringing him back, especially since the shelter asked me to do that.
I am really just feeling bad and I don't know how to move on and forgive myself. I keep wondering if I should give him another try, but I don't think that would be a good idea (and the shelter probably would prefer to adopt him to another home too, which is totally valid).
Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my very long post. If you have thoughts or advice, or if you have had a similar experience, I really appreciate anybody's help.
I am completely new to this site and might be posting this in the wrong forum but I just needed to pour my heart out.
So I had adopted a shy cat from my local shelter a little over two months ago. He was my first cat ever, I named him Gilderoy and loved him from the start even though he never really wanted to come out of hiding or have me be near him. I figured that that is normal and that he just needed time to get adjusted to me and his new home. After the first 3 days he started eating regularly, he was using the litter box and after about 7 weeks he even played during the night time (but only when I was asleep). I tried everything I could to get him used to me - toys, tasty treats, shirts with my scent, talking to him, feliway diffusers.
Two weeks ago I noticed that he had hurt himself somehow, he had to bloody crusts on his head (I think he might've scratched himself). I decided to watch the wounds to see if I needed to try and somehow pack him up to take him to the vet. The wounds seemed to be clean but then a couple of days later I noticed that he was starting to lose hair around the areas.
So I ended up calling the shelter where I got him from to ask for help.
After explaining the situation and how he had been the past two months of living with me, we concluded that I should bring him back to the shelter, since he did not seem to be happy with me. I packed him up with the help of my boyfriend and brought him back to the shelter and I was crying so much. I'm still tearing up just thinking about it. They encouraged me to come back and adopt another cat, which I did after a week of grieving. My new cat is super lovely and we're best buddies already. But I am feeling such guilt about bringing my first cat back. The wonderful people at the shelter told me he might just be a cat that preferred living around 30 other cats and when I visited he seemed much more alive and happier than when he was living with me. But I just still can't help but feeling guilty. I keep asking myself if I should have waited longer, given him more time or if I could've done more, especially when I think f him playing at night. I feel like he must've made progress just by starting to do that, and I feel horrible thinking that I gave up on him. But at the same time I wonder if it just was not the right fit and if I did the best for both of us by bringing him back, especially since the shelter asked me to do that.
I am really just feeling bad and I don't know how to move on and forgive myself. I keep wondering if I should give him another try, but I don't think that would be a good idea (and the shelter probably would prefer to adopt him to another home too, which is totally valid).
Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my very long post. If you have thoughts or advice, or if you have had a similar experience, I really appreciate anybody's help.