Overnight Guests Who Don't Like Cats: What To Do?

Gigi6

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Hi everyone,

My father-in-law is coming from another country and will be staying at our house for 2 weeks. Usually we rent an apartment for him for his longer stays, but my husband wanted to spend more time with him this time, since he may not be coming back for a while, and that's the reason he's staying over.

The problem that I'm facing now is that he doesn't like cats, or any other animals for that matter, at all! This wasn't a problem when he stayed in his own place, as when he came over our cat, who's anxious around new people when they first come over, would just hide. Now that he's actually in our house things will be different. He has the habit that whenever a friendly pet comes close to him he extends his leg -without kicking- to shoo them away.

My cat is a rescue cat who's a bit needy and while she's very sweet and affectionate with me and my husband, as I mentioned she hides when new people come over. If they stay long enough and she feels that she can be safe around them, she comes out and sometimes rubs the new person's legs as a way to greet them. My father in law will most definitely shoo her away, and I guess she will understand that this person doesn't like her and she will stay away from him, but will she away all the time? Maybe not if he's the only person in the house! So, My biggest worry now is that if my husband and I both have to leave the house and she will have to stay there alone with him.. She will either be hiding all the time, which will be stressful to her, or she will attempt to be friendly with him and he will shoo her or worse: since we're not there I'm afraid he will actually kick her (he comes from a culture that doesn't respect animals much, and he doesn't believe people should have pets: he's only tolerating the idea so he doesn't upset us).

My other worry is that since he likes to spend time in our backyard, he be might in and out the house and not always be careful to close the door, allowing her to exit the house. We live in a big city overlooking a busy street, and our backyard is not protected, so my cat can get lost or be exposed to danger if she gets out unsupervised (she's an indoor cat and we let her our in a protected enclosure when the weather is nice).

I'm thinking about boarding her, but the problem is that the last -and only- time we boarded her at out vet's clinic, she got very stressed and refused to eat for 2 days, so we had to take her out earlier. Now we have a pet sitter that takes care of her when we go on vacation with no issues. I'm thinking of another boarding facility that only caters to cats and has bigger and more isolated spaces, some of which have windows. I'm still not sure if she will be okay there, and for 2 weeks! She's very afraid of other cats, so their smell might cause her distress even if she's in a more isolated space.

Basically my two options are to try and stay home if father-in-law will be there -I run my own event planning business so I can work from home during the day- or ask my husband to take him with him wherever he will be if I do have to leave, which means potentially disrupting our businesses, OR board Coco to keep her safe but potentially causing her a lot of stress.

My apologies for the long thread. I would welcome any suggestions or if you would like to share stories of when you had overnight guests who weren't particularly fond of cats, and what you did to minimize the stress on all the parties involved.
 

PushPurrCatPaws

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Hi everyone,...
Basically my two options are to try and stay home if father-in-law will be there -I run my own event planning business so I can work from home during the day- or ask my husband to take him with him wherever he will be if I do have to leave, which means potentially disrupting our businesses, OR board Coco to keep her safe but potentially causing her a lot of stress.

My apologies for the long thread. I would welcome any suggestions or if you would like to share stories of when you had overnight guests who weren't particularly fond of cats, and what you did to minimize the stress on all the parties involved.
No doubt about it, it will be a stressful time for sure! I read your other thread, about when Coco was boarded and how hard it was for her (and for you!).

I think if it were me, I'd just try to rearrange my schedule to work at home during your father-in-law's stay. :hearthrob:
 

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I’ve had a friend stay over that was afraid of cats - and he stayed on the couch of a one bedroom so no door to close. He ended up freaking out a bit when our fat tabby decided he would settle on his feet at the end of the couch. So it’s definitely stressful for humans and cats, especially at night when the guest is sleeping and the cat is more awake to come explore and check him out.

Personally, I would think it would be less stressful if you had a spare room to “board” your girl in your house. The friendly smells and attention you can give her will be comforting, and she may just be a little restricted. When your father-in-law is home alone, you can keep your cat in this safe room. Then when you are home you can let her out and monitor her.

Our kitty Gohan had to go on crate rest for an injury, and instead we put him on “room rest” in the office. He was unhappy, but he had some calming drugs and he adapted. It helped that he was home with familiar smells and could have visits from us often. Maybe getting some relaxation meds from the vet and keeping her in one room for that 2 weeks while unsupervised would be a good compromise.
 

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Hi. I agree with KarenKat KarenKat . If you have time, start getting your cat used to frequently visiting a designated safe room in your house ahead of the visit. Add a litterbox/water/food/toys to that room now. Any play toys that are her favorites, either buy a second one for that room, or move some of them into there. Play with her in there before your FIL arrives, and frequently throughout his stay.

While your FIL is there and while you are present, let your cat have free reign to the entire home as usual, but if she gets shooed away or senses the dislike coming from your FIL she knows she has a place to be away from him. And, if you are able to, please ask him not to do it each time he does it. You might want to tell him that if he just ignores her, she will pick up on that and 'return the favor'.

And, then when you are gone, your best bet is to enclose her in that room. If she becomes a bit stressed out over it, try using Feliway diffusers, and get a few different calming products to try out if the diffusers do not help.

Feeby has had people in our house that don't have an affinity for cats, after a few minutes she can sense that and then leaves the area they are in. None of them however did anything to shoo her away, they just ignored her. I wish your FIL could be respectful to you, your husband, and your cat - but, some people are just not 'built that way'.
 
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Gigi6

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I would make it clear to him that he is to never kick her. That's just unacceptable. I put signs on all the doors leading outside to remind people to never let the cats escape.
Thank you for you answer! I agree it is unacceptable and I will make that clear to him. I don't think he will, I'm just thinking worst case scenario if we're not around. He will just shoo her away which I don't like either, so I will make sure to be around all the time if she's in the same room with him just to make sure nothing happens.
 
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Gigi6

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Is your cat sitter in a position to take her home with her/him for the 2 weeks? It would still be a strange place for her, but less stressful than boarding since she already knows the sitter.
Thank you for you answer :) I called her and asked, she doesn't but she gave the name of another lady who takes cats in her home for short-term boarding. That lady will have a few cats over at the time I would need to board Coco, and I don't think she will do well with other cats around. It's still an option to be considered if my cat gets really stressed by my FIL's presence.
 
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Gigi6

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No doubt about it, it will be a stressful time for sure! I read your other thread, about when Coco was boarded and how hard it was for her (and for you!).

I think if it were me, I'd just try to rearrange my schedule to work at home during your father-in-law's stay. :hearthrob:
Thank you for your answer and for reading my other thread :) Yes Coco is a sensitive cat and doesn't like any changes to her routine.

That's what I was mostly leaning towards is to just try and stay home if my FIL will be staying so that she doesn't have to be alone with him. If I have to leave for any reason, I will do what others are suggesting, which is leaving her in a safe room with her food, litter box and some safe toys and locking the door. She won't like it and she most likely will be a stressed out a bit but at least she'll be completely safe and that's the only way I will have peace of mind.
 

kittyluv387

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I really don't think you should have to board your cat just because your fil is coming over. Your house, your rules! Make it clear to him that the cat is a family member and he is to be respected. If it gets overwhelming I would just keep your cat in the master bedroom.
 
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Gigi6

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I’ve had a friend stay over that was afraid of cats - and he stayed on the couch of a one bedroom so no door to close. He ended up freaking out a bit when our fat tabby decided he would settle on his feet at the end of the couch. So it’s definitely stressful for humans and cats, especially at night when the guest is sleeping and the cat is more awake to come explore and check him out.

Personally, I would think it would be less stressful if you had a spare room to “board” your girl in your house. The friendly smells and attention you can give her will be comforting, and she may just be a little restricted. When your father-in-law is home alone, you can keep your cat in this safe room. Then when you are home you can let her out and monitor her.

Our kitty Gohan had to go on crate rest for an injury, and instead we put him on “room rest” in the office. He was unhappy, but he had some calming drugs and he adapted. It helped that he was home with familiar smells and could have visits from us often. Maybe getting some relaxation meds from the vet and keeping her in one room for that 2 weeks while unsupervised would be a good compromise.
Thank you :) That's a great idea! I do have a room in the basement that I can "board" her in if I have to leave and my FIL will be staying home alone. I have actually kept her there with her food and litter box and locked the door when I had some guests over and we were doing a barbecue in the backyard. I don't know why that didn't occur to me now, maybe because I'm stressed out myself that my FIL is coming and I will lose my own privacy for 2 weeks haha.. I will use Feliway to hopefully keep her calm. She actually likes that room and spends time there on her own since there's a window at the street level (and she can directly all the squirrels who visit our front yard lol), but I know she won't like to "trapped" there. It's still a great compromise as it's the only way I'll know she'll be safe and not exposed to my FIL's unpredictable reactions or the chance of getting out the house, and it will be MUCH less stressful to her than boarding. When I come home I can let her out too.
 
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Gigi6

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Hi. I agree with KarenKat KarenKat . If you have time, start getting your cat used to frequently visiting a designated safe room in your house ahead of the visit. Add a litterbox/water/food/toys to that room now. Any play toys that are her favorites, either buy a second one for that room, or move some of them into there. Play with her in there before your FIL arrives, and frequently throughout his stay.

While your FIL is there and while you are present, let your cat have free reign to the entire home as usual, but if she gets shooed away or senses the dislike coming from your FIL she knows she has a place to be away from him. And, if you are able to, please ask him not to do it each time he does it. You might want to tell him that if he just ignores her, she will pick up on that and 'return the favor'.

And, then when you are gone, your best bet is to enclose her in that room. If she becomes a bit stressed out over it, try using Feliway diffusers, and get a few different calming products to try out if the diffusers do not help.

Feeby has had people in our house that don't have an affinity for cats, after a few minutes she can sense that and then leaves the area they are in. None of them however did anything to shoo her away, they just ignored her. I wish your FIL could be respectful to you, your husband, and your cat - but, some people are just not 'built that way'.
Thank you so much for your answer :) as I've said to KarenKat KarenKat , I think that's the best idea! We have a room in the basement with a nice window, and the room can be locked. I will transfer her food, litter box and some toys there today, and he's coming in a couple of weeks, so there's still some time for her to get used to the change.

As you said as I will let roam free in the house when I'm there, but enclose her there if both my husband and I have to leave. That will give me the peace of mind that she'll be safe.

I will tell him too that she doesn't need to be shooed away, as it's true that she will sense right away his unfriendliness towards her, but exactly he's the type who's not 'built that way' and just doesn't want any pet to touch him for some strange reason. I would give him an excuse if he was allergic, but he's not!
 
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Gigi6

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I would rather board out your husband and his father than the cat; but I'm not really a family person as you see :D But speaking more seriously, I would arrange everything possible to be around during the visit. Good luck!
Haha I would board out my father-in-law if I was able to, as his presence in my home won't be easy for me either, but unfortunately I have to make this compromise. Not my husband though, he loves the cat and I think he may be her favourite person (which obviously makes me jealous :D)
 
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Gigi6

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I really don't think you should have to board your cat just because your fil is coming over. Your house, your rules! Make it clear to him that the cat is a family member and he is to be respected. If it gets overwhelming I would just keep your cat in the master bedroom.
Thank you! I agree, my cat shouldn't be exposed to stress because he's coming over, but I was thinking of different options just in case to keep safe and not expose her to his unpredictable behaviour if we're not around. We have shown him last time he came that we love her a lot and that she is a family member, we will just make sure to reiterate that point. I will also do what a couple of other commenters suggested, which is to keep her in a safe room with her food, litter box and toys only when we're not present in the house. She won't like it to be "trapped" in one room but at least she will be home in a familiar space, and most importantly she will be safe.
 

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Add a litterbox/water/food/toys to that room now.
Don't forget a scratching post!

You might want to tell him that if he just ignores her, she will pick up on that and 'return the favor'.
The only problem with that is that some cats think the person who ignores them is safe. You see it in groups - one person who dislikes cats is studiously ignoring the cat while everyone else is trying to lure it over for petting, and who does the car strop herself against? The one who dislikes cats, of course! It's the eye contact thing in action.

Margret
 

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You just gave yourself the best option to your upcoming situation!! Problem solved!! Good job.;) With her staying in the basement quarters when she has to be alone with him in the house sounds perfect, especially when you say she loves it down there with the nice window to the out of doors to perch in front of. :)
 

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If I have to leave for any reason, I will do what others are suggesting, which is leaving her in a safe room with her food, litter box and some safe toys and locking the door. She won't like it and she most likely will be a stressed out a bit but at least she'll be completely safe and that's the only way I will have peace of mind.
I think this is the best option. It would be the least stressful for her because she is still in the same home. Maybe buy a Feliway to keep her calm in the room. Make the room happy, full of food, toys, soft music even. There is nothing wrong in doing this.
 

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I agree with the others that her own room is the best solution when you aren't home. This situation would never fly in my house, but I understand that you are dealing with a different cultural norm. My husband wouldn't put up with it. I remember once we had the pastor and deacon visit. I had just served everyone a glass of lemonade when one of the cats decided to jump up beside the deacon. He promptly pushed the cat off and muttered something about disliking cats. My husband then reached over, picked up the still full glasses of lemonade and thanked them for stopping by and assured them we didn't want to keep them.
 
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