One of our family cats that lived with my mom, lovingly nicknamed Tears or Tearsy, left us last month. It's been hard and I'm only now able to look at his pictures without sobbing uncontrollably. We got our sweet boy when he was only maybe six months old or so. After my younger brother's kitten named Cutie Pie passed away from pneumonia, we saw an ad in a newspaper for free kittens. That was about fourteen years ago. My brother didn't know what to name him and I suggested 'Shadow' after the dog in the Homeward Bound movies and one of my Neopets. (Big throw back there to the early 2000's). And so he was named. He always cried a lot and made the cutest meows, so he was affectionately called 'Tears' and that more or less became his name.
Tearsy was one of the most gentle, sweetest cats I've ever known. He was such a sweet, good boy. Always affectionate. Always wanting love and attention. He'd jump up on my brother's lap like clockwork every day my brother came home from work to eat lunch and at the end of the day. When I'd go visit my mom I'd always love up on him. I'd pick him up and 'slow dance' with him cradled in my arms over my shoulder. He'd purr so loud and just rub up against my neck.
This last year his age really began to show. He got skinny and weak. We took him to the vet and they couldn't really find anything wrong with him without doing really invasive tests. He was so scared and stressed at the vet visits. Slobbering everywhere and trembling... We knew he was old and didn't want to subject him to extreme stress, so we opted to avoid the really invasive tests. He started getting small lumps on his body and the vet thought it was most likely cancer. So we loved him, babied him and did our best to make his remaining time with us as comfortable as possible. Me and my mom knew he probably wouldn't last much longer and prepared ourselves for the inevitable of putting him to sleep once it was obvious he was in too much pain.
My brother, however, was in denial. He'd get upset and angry if we brought up how sick Tears was. And eventually it became apparent he was suffering.. and when we brought the idea of having him be put to sleep to my brother he exploded. He was in denial still and the thought of losing his cat was painful. I understood his feelings but was upset at him. We didn't want him to suffer or be in pain. It was obvious to everyone aside from my brother.. and while we waited a day or so for things to calm down before we brought it up again, Tears left us. No one was at home, besides my brother who had the day off from work. Tearsy was walking around and being loving as usual when my mom left to go to the store. If she had known I know she wouldn't have left at that time.
My brother had to watch his cat pass away and my mom said when he called her over the phone she could hear Tears crying and meowing in the background. Not only was he scared and suffering.. but my brother who had been in denial all this time had to witness it. I'm glad Tearsy wasn't alone, but I'm so sorry that my brother had to deal with that. If he hadn't been so selfish it wouldn't have had to happen that way. I was torn and still, very am torn. I feel sorry for my brother, but at the same time being mad at him for not having the poor cat be put down long before he had to suffer an end in such a way. It still bothers me. I wish he had gone much more peaceful and calm. But I try not to think about that.. but it's so hard. It's getting better after a month, but the loss will always be felt.
I look back at his pictures and just want to remember Tears for the sweet, gentle boy he was. He was loved by everyone and will be forever missed. I miss him so much. Heaven definitely gained a very special kitty. I love you, sweet boy.
I'm going to get his actual pawprint tattooed on my back in the next month.
Tearsy was one of the most gentle, sweetest cats I've ever known. He was such a sweet, good boy. Always affectionate. Always wanting love and attention. He'd jump up on my brother's lap like clockwork every day my brother came home from work to eat lunch and at the end of the day. When I'd go visit my mom I'd always love up on him. I'd pick him up and 'slow dance' with him cradled in my arms over my shoulder. He'd purr so loud and just rub up against my neck.
This last year his age really began to show. He got skinny and weak. We took him to the vet and they couldn't really find anything wrong with him without doing really invasive tests. He was so scared and stressed at the vet visits. Slobbering everywhere and trembling... We knew he was old and didn't want to subject him to extreme stress, so we opted to avoid the really invasive tests. He started getting small lumps on his body and the vet thought it was most likely cancer. So we loved him, babied him and did our best to make his remaining time with us as comfortable as possible. Me and my mom knew he probably wouldn't last much longer and prepared ourselves for the inevitable of putting him to sleep once it was obvious he was in too much pain.
My brother, however, was in denial. He'd get upset and angry if we brought up how sick Tears was. And eventually it became apparent he was suffering.. and when we brought the idea of having him be put to sleep to my brother he exploded. He was in denial still and the thought of losing his cat was painful. I understood his feelings but was upset at him. We didn't want him to suffer or be in pain. It was obvious to everyone aside from my brother.. and while we waited a day or so for things to calm down before we brought it up again, Tears left us. No one was at home, besides my brother who had the day off from work. Tearsy was walking around and being loving as usual when my mom left to go to the store. If she had known I know she wouldn't have left at that time.
My brother had to watch his cat pass away and my mom said when he called her over the phone she could hear Tears crying and meowing in the background. Not only was he scared and suffering.. but my brother who had been in denial all this time had to witness it. I'm glad Tearsy wasn't alone, but I'm so sorry that my brother had to deal with that. If he hadn't been so selfish it wouldn't have had to happen that way. I was torn and still, very am torn. I feel sorry for my brother, but at the same time being mad at him for not having the poor cat be put down long before he had to suffer an end in such a way. It still bothers me. I wish he had gone much more peaceful and calm. But I try not to think about that.. but it's so hard. It's getting better after a month, but the loss will always be felt.
I look back at his pictures and just want to remember Tears for the sweet, gentle boy he was. He was loved by everyone and will be forever missed. I miss him so much. Heaven definitely gained a very special kitty. I love you, sweet boy.
I'm going to get his actual pawprint tattooed on my back in the next month.