Thinking Of Keeping The Stray

Keep Yukiko?

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 15.4%
  • No

    Votes: 11 84.6%

  • Total voters
    13

Anime Chick

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So... I'm not 100% on this but I've been observing my cat and the stray I'm looking after that I have in her safe room... and I'm considering keeping her.

This is a difficult thing for me to decide since my funds are low, but I don't wanna do something that won't benefit them too.

My original goal was to give her to Kitty Village--something I'm still highly considering--but my male, Saru, has bonded to her and she to him. I have 'play dates' between them on certain days where I let him go in and play with her. Both are very respectful of one another and shes gradually teaching him self-control during play, but also will actually play with him. She even tried to bathe him at one point.

Its obvious to me she deems him as part of her 'colony' as well as myself, as she greets me excitedly and lovingly and has pretty much since day one. Shes been curious of my girl, Atsuko, but I've not let them properly 'meet' yet as Atsuko is more fine simply watching her through the door than she is at the idea of getting too close.

Atsuko has a habit of being standoffish with Saru, refusing to properly play with him since he has a habit of being too rough about his method of play, causing her to growl and hiss to get him to leave her alone, but as long as hes not trying to demand play, or trying to mount her--shes fixed, as if he as of about a month ago--shes fine with him being around.

Atsuko used to be very sociable as a kitten but my former cat, Lilly--RIP--used to smack her if she got too touchy-feely toward her or tried to play. So part of me thinks that if I keep her and finally get her out of the safe room if Atsuko watches she might gradually improve and learn better cat social skills through observing. This also could help give Saru a play buddy/mate so he can stop annoying Atsuko 24-7.

I'm also concerned that giving her away will cause him to mourn over her since hes become so attached to her that when I used him to help me leash and harness train her--and backpack train her--, while she was still in the backpack watching him, he'd come over every so often to check up on her and make sure she was okay. He also gets protective of her safe room, gently but firmly, bapping my hands if I try to entice Yukiko on the other side of the door with gently scratching at it like he does. He'll even adorably jump around in front of the door, like hes telling me, 'No! My Yuki! You can't play too!'

Hes never aggressive, its just play style but its still his manner of 'guarding'. He even will herd Atsuko away from the door if shes passing by when I'm feeding Yukiko and passing her food into the room.

When they were walking around on leash together, he would keep coming back over, checking on her, then would try to encourage her to follow him.

Hes pretty much just accepted that shes part of the family already, which means its Atsuko and myself thats the only ones who haven't, as I never planned to keep her.

In fact, the only reason I'm passively teaching her to walk on a harness and be in a pet backpack if for transport reasons so I can get her to a vet as needed. Its just easier for me since I use a bike for transportation and also only own pet backpacks as I find them both easier on myself and the cats than normal crates.

I know this means I have to put in the effort to pay for more food and litter for three cats instead of two, plus she'll need shots. I already have plans to get her examined anyway for any serious issues--I don't let him share food with her or use her litter box, don't worry. She also never draws any blood when they play, nor does he, so I'm not worried about her passing him anything as the vet assured me it wouldn't be an issue unless that happens.--as well as get her fixed once I'm able... but whether shes gonna be getting all these extra shots is gonna be determined on if I keep her or not.

I don't wanna pay for all this extra stuff and shes not even staying here permanently. It would just be a serious waste of money that I don't have...

So I have some serious decisions to make here that I really need to mull over... because I don't want to only do whats best for myself, but for them too. Yeah, if I only worked on whats best for me, passing her over would be that since it keeps me from spending all this extra money. But... I'm thinking about what would be best for Atsuko and Saru too in the long run, as well as Yukiko. What would help them become better, live better, be better...

I want to be a good pet parent, not just a decent human that let some cat stay with them for a while till they could be passed off.

My cats are my world... and I want my world in balance.

Atsuko;
Age:
8 years


Saru;
Age:
9 Months


Yukiko;
Age:
Unkown? Seems younger than Saru. Definitely smaller.
 

FeebysOwner

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Hi. If you think that Atsuko and Yukiko can get along in the long term, it would be nice for Saru to keep his playmate/buddy. Atsuko might actually be happy that Saru has someone else to bother!!

At a minimum, you could write down all of the one-time (spaying/initial vaccination) expenses it will cost you to keep Yukiko, and then calculate the extra money you will need on a monthly basis to feed/house 3 cats instead of 2. At least you could see if it seems like something you will be able to handle.

And, if at all possible, you could try to set aside some money every month - sort of as an emergency cat fund - so you can somewhat be prepared for any unanticipated expenses that might come up with any of the 3 cats. That would be a good idea for just 2 cats as well.

It's a personal choice you have to make, and I wish you the best while deciding what's best for all of you.
 

ArtNJ

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You've already made it very clear in many posts that you aren't even financially secure enough for two cats.
Keeping another cat would be very irresponsible towards all three of them.
I understand the sentiment, but she didn't adopt a kitten that someone else would have taken, she rescued an older cat from the street. *IF* there is space in a no kill shelter, maybe that would be best. OP did mention a shelter I believe, but if she hasn't verified there is space there may not be. Around me, there is often no space, and I would argue that any home with a loving owner that will work to do right by the cats is a huge step up from the street.
 
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Anime Chick

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I understand the sentiment, but she didn't adopt a kitten that someone else would have taken, she rescued an older cat from the street. *IF* there is space in a no kill shelter, maybe that would be best. OP did mention a shelter I believe, but if she hasn't verified there is space there may not be. Around me, there is often no space, and I would argue that any home with a loving owner that will work to do right by the cats is a huge step up from the street.
Kitty Village that I mentioned in my opening post is a cat only sanctuary and is where I was trying to get her in. There are no shelters with openings as you suspected and Kitty Village is actually conjoined with one of them for aid, funding and where the shelter often sends cats.


At the moment I haven't fully decided if I will keep her still or not but my consideration for the possibility of it right now comes from the fact it may be what the three need.
 
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m3rma1d

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I do pay attention, and I see your history of not being able to afford the two you have, and the stress and problems it brings, and you asked for opinions, so I voiced mine.

:)
Peace.
 
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Maria Bayote

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Money is almost always the issue when it comes to taking in animals off the streets. You are not alone in your woes, but let me thank you for caring for the cat even under financial stress.

I may have missed it, but have you considered asking your friends or anyone you know if they would be willing to adopt this cat?

Otherwise, as what FeebysOwner FeebysOwner said, it is now a personal choice. You alone can decide what is best for all.

I hope you good luck. Again, thank you for your kindness and generosity you show to this cat even under financial constraints.
 

di and bob

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Just as with children, there will NEVER be enough money. You just get by with what you have and somehow make it work. I have three cats inside at the moment, started out years ago with five.I am feeding, slowly neutering, many feral/stray cats outside, and although I really can't afford it, somehow it gets done.
I thought i would post because for one, Atsuko is acting perfectly normal in her interactions with Yukiko. Females rule their domain with an iron paw and are the manner teachers, the limit setters with all who live with them. They enjoy acting put out, like little divas. Hissing, growling, and swatting are as natural as breathing. As long as it does not involve turning into deep bites and scratches that bring blood, everything is normal. Mine scream like banshees at times and fur flies, and they are mother and sons!
That does not mean Atsuko cannot bond with another female, they just learn to accept and to adjust. They still will be a family unit with all their dysfunctions and warts. Just like grumpy old men, they will be entertained and enjoy what a fresh family member brings, and definitely try to show they don't. If Yukiko enjoys playing already that is a great sign, Saru will find a playmate and friend.
As for saving some money, I have found taht taking all three of mine in at once brings ONE office visit charge, a big savings. You might ask about volume discounts on injections, too. Yukiko could receive her injections as the same time she is being spayed, too. Saving another office visit charge. I really don't think feeding one extra mouth matters much too, My three eat one small 5.5 oz. can in the morning, one at night, and free feed a good quality dry during the day. And none are exactly skinny, I do have one little 'chicken monster' that demands deli chicken too, several times a day!
Just do what you have to do, as in everything in life, I'm confident that your wages will go up as you go through life, you are thinking right by giving her to a sanctuary if you have to, so just make an informed decision and do what you can live with. If you follow your heart, I already know what taht is! All the luck, and keep us posted!
 
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Anime Chick

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Money is almost always the issue when it comes to taking in animals off the streets. You are not alone in your woes, but let me thank you for caring for the cat even under financial stress.

I may have missed it, but have you considered asking your friends or anyone you know if they would be willing to adopt this cat?

Otherwise, as what FeebysOwner FeebysOwner said, it is now a personal choice. You alone can decide what is best for all.

I hope you good luck. Again, thank you for your kindness and generosity you show to this cat even under financial constraints.
I would have a long time ago if I could but unfortunately I have no friends who live near me. All mine live far away that I only speak to online.
 

segelkatt

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How you can even think of adopting another cat when you can barely feed yourself and the two cats you already have (at least that is what you are saying in your other threads) is beyond me. You are NOT responsible for this cat. You are doing everything to be able to say that keeping this cat is the only way you can go instead of distancing yourself from it so it won't be so hard once you do find another home for it. Socializing it to yourself and introducing it to your other cats is NOT the way to go.
di and bob di and bob - she has already said in another thread that she is disabled so her "wages" are not going to go up. Thus she really does not have enough money to feed herself and two cats, let alone an extra one which was a stray and is likely to find another home.
 
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Norachan

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Anime Chick Anime Chick

You said in your other thread.

I get $200 to spend on 'food money' from my folks but aside from less than $30 a month from my Patreon I have no other income unless I get lucky enough to sell some art. So I have no other 'guaranteed' income.
My Furbaby Needs Help!

If you are thinking of getting another cat maybe you should talk to your parents first and ask if they can afford to give you more money. It seems as if they are your only regular source of income right now, so they should be consulted if you are thinking of getting any more pets.

Also, please keep in mind that cats can live for 15 to 20 years with the right care. I guess your parent are retired by now. If you can't work because of your disability but don't qualify for any disability payments you need to think about what will happen in the future when your parents can't support you any more.

Another cat is a long term commitment. Medical costs are likely to increase as the cats get older. I know you were really struggling to pay for Atsuko's last vet visit, so I'd advise you to think about what is best for Yukiko in the long term before you decide whether or not to keep her.
 
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Anime Chick

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Anime Chick Anime Chick

You said in your other thread.



My Furbaby Needs Help!

If you are thinking of getting another cat maybe you should talk to your parents first and ask if they can afford to give you more money. It seems as if they are your only regular source of income right now, so they should be consulted if you are thinking of getting any more pets.

Also, please keep in mind that cats can live for 15 to 20 years with the right care. I guess your parent are retired by now. If you can't work because of your disability but don't qualify for any disability payments you need to think about what will happen in the future when your parents can't support you any more.

Another cat is a long term commitment. Medical costs are likely to increase as the cats get older. I know you were really struggling to pay for Atsuko's last vet visit, so I'd advise you to think about what is best for Yukiko in the long term before you decide whether or not to keep her.
Its not that I don't 'qualify' its that Disability is hard to get even if you are disabled. I have even my therapist and other medical people stating I should be able to get it.

Also no, they aren't retired. They are just stingy.

My mom actually wants me to keep the cat but they aren't willing to pay any more out of pocket to help me and I've been maintaining this third cat for the past three months on my own merit, as I've stated since I first joined here. I got help maybe twice regarding specifically her, but that was really it. Everything else I've been taking out of my own money.

I know how long cats can live, thats not the issue. I know full well if I keep her I'll be struggling but I'm trying to think all around whats the best idea, not just from what I'm currently able to pay.

And really, even if I don't keep Yukiko I would still be struggling to pay for vet stuff for my other two. Vets are expensive. Its not gonna change because Yuki is or isn't here. As stated, I am trying to consider all possibilities right now and I'm not fully decided one way or another.

As I said already, this isn't a matter of me feeling attached to this cat. Cause I don't. Despite how much me mom keeps pressuring me to, claiming I 'might as well'. Its about what is best for all three cats for me right now...

Trust me, I understand the concern but I already understand my financial situation its not something that needs to keep being brought up, but I hope you all can also understand that I have in fact been taking care of her for three months now. This isn't some random new cat with random new responsibilities. Its a cat I already was looking after for months.
 

ans5181

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Here's the thing though, your financial situation is a very real part of this, and you're here feeling people out for what they think you should do, and people are offering their opinions based on what they know about you. You're going to hear both sides, you know?
 
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Anime Chick

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Here's the thing though, your financial situation is a very real part of this, and you're here feeling people out for what they think you should do, and people are offering their opinions based on what they know about you. You're going to hear both sides, you know?
Of course. I don't mind hearing both, just so long as its more saying a yes or no, not so much a 'no and if you do, you're being irresponsible and stupid for it' type of reply, ya'know? Heh.

Theres always good and bad ways for both positives and negatives.

I do appreciate the concern tho... I just rather if I DO decide to keep her and tell people that, that I not have to be scared to tell everyone cause I have to worry about a backlash of being called an irresponsible pet parent and a fool for it.

I am currently still undecided and I'm not sure how long it will take me to fully decide tho I admit that the more I feel stupid for even thinking about keeping her, its likely going to push me to decline the idea of keeping her, as well as feel like I was stupid for even considering it.

I'm not sure when I'll decide fully either way.
 

Fish Em

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You have got a lot going on in your life right now and don't have a really steady source of income that will be able to support all your pets. The irresponsibility factor (not stupid!) is in the fact that you want to keep the cat without really giving the forum an idea on what you will do for your cats if they need to see a vet for whatever reason.

It doesn't seem like you can save anything for an emergency or long term based on what you have told us. So far I am understanding you are going to keep the cat and that you cannot afford it. But could you somehow? The people here would be more than willing to help you out.

You have to sit think and plan really instead of getting frantic and lashing out when people suggest you don't keep the cat. You are not stupid. Your heart is in the right place.
 

kittyluv387

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I just saw your other post. No I don't think you should keep the cat. If you're not financially independent and capable it's better to let the kitty go to a place that has more resources. You asked, we answered.
 
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Anime Chick

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You have got a lot going on in your life right now and don't have a really steady source of income that will be able to support all your pets. The irresponsibility factor (not stupid!) is in the fact that you want to keep the cat without really giving the forum an idea on what you will do for your cats if they need to see a vet for whatever reason.

It doesn't seem like you can save anything for an emergency or long term based on what you have told us. So far I am understanding you are going to keep the cat and that you cannot afford it. But could you somehow? The people here would be more than willing to help you out.

You have to sit think and plan really instead of getting frantic and lashing out when people suggest you don't keep the cat. You are not stupid. Your heart is in the right place.
As stated, I am undecided still on keeping her. I never said I was going to ask of yet. I'm trying to weigh all options here. My finance too yes, but also the pros for her and the other two.

Also, I wasn't planning on bringing up the thing for them because last time I did it got treated like begging for money even tho I was just giving an update. I don't want it misconstrued as such again.

As long as it doesn't...

I made a YouTube channel for the cats. I plan to update when I film something thats suitable to upload and made a Patreon for them for the channel as well as their own PayPal where ONLY their money goes, not mine. That way I can just carefully put off bits of money to the side in there for them, as well as whatever they earn from their Patreon if they get any YouTube fans that decide to join it.

I figured this way they could earn their own form of income to pay for their own way living here. Food, medical bills, ect. Of course I'm paying for them out of my allowance each month on my own. I have a couple friends who also help me from time to time with money, tho I try not to lean on them too much and most can't afford large amounts which is why I sought help here before on the bill for Atsuko to see the vet.


I wasn't 'lashing out'. Lashing out is when you get mad and start yelling at people. I was merely explaining my feelings so that you guys could understand, I don't mind if you don't think its a good idea.

Like everything in life, its now what you say, its how you say it and just as one can explain something in a manner that shows concern another can say the same thing in a manner that makes the person feel stupid.

But trust me, I do understand the financial situation is a factor. But I always put my cats first when it comes to what they need. No matter what I will always find a way to help them, even if it hinders how much food I can get for myself that month or keeps me from being able to get something needed for the house for that month. I can always buy cheap food like ramen for one month if it means protecting my fur babies.
 

kittyluv387

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As stated, I am undecided still on keeping her. I never said I was going to ask of yet. I'm trying to weigh all options here. My finance too yes, but also the pros for her and the other two.

Also, I wasn't planning on bringing up the thing for them because last time I did it got treated like begging for money even tho I was just giving an update. I don't want it misconstrued as such again.

As long as it doesn't...

I made a YouTube channel for the cats. I plan to update when I film something thats suitable to upload and made a Patreon for them for the channel as well as their own PayPal where ONLY their money goes, not mine. That way I can just carefully put off bits of money to the side in there for them, as well as whatever they earn from their Patreon if they get any YouTube fans that decide to join it.

I figured this way they could earn their own form of income to pay for their own way living here. Food, medical bills, ect. Of course I'm paying for them out of my allowance each month on my own. I have a couple friends who also help me from time to time with money, tho I try not to lean on them too much and most can't afford large amounts which is why I sought help here before on the bill for Atsuko to see the vet.


I wasn't 'lashing out'. Lashing out is when you get mad and start yelling at people. I was merely explaining my feelings so that you guys could understand, I don't mind if you don't think its a good idea.

Like everything in life, its now what you say, its how you say it and just as one can explain something in a manner that shows concern another can say the same thing in a manner that makes the person feel stupid.

But trust me, I do understand the financial situation is a factor. But I always put my cats first when it comes to what they need. No matter what I will always find a way to help them, even if it hinders how much food I can get for myself that month or keeps me from being able to get something needed for the house for that month. I can always buy cheap food like ramen for one month if it means protecting my fur babies.
I really admire your dedication to your babies. But sometimes simply reducing spending on yourself isn't enough. Easily a single illness can wipe you out or more. You might need to go into debt if you don't have a stable source of sufficient income.
 

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If money is an issue right now then I would not keep her. You asked what would benefit your current cats the most and having the funds to care for them if/ when they get ill is what would do that.

I'd have a different answer if you didn't have a good place willing to take her- but you do and there is a family out there with some other cat(s) that are looking for companionship. I'd tell the sanctuary that she's good with other cats. That will work in her favor.

And now you know that Saru likes new cats. Going forward you and Saru will have the opportunity to help many cats out. You could even do fostering where the organization you work with fronts all the vet bills and provides you with food and litter. I have a cat here who is fantastic with new cats. He helps me socialize them. He is a bridge between them and us humans. He makes a difference in the world and he's just a cat that we took in when he was on the verge of death.
I think they do get a little sad when the fosters go but they are happy when new ones come and they get used to times when there are no fosters.
 
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