Feeling Sad And Guilty

I hate to be a downer; this seems like the "fun" forum, but I'm not sure where else to post this...feel free to make a suggestion.

I feel so horrible and guilty for writing this, but I figure here's the place to get it out. I feel sad sometimes because I miss the "old Maya." I've posted on here a bunch of times about her various health issues that we can't figure out, one of which is her not wanting to play (maybe she'll sometimes run and swat the laser light once or twice).

I was poking around the internet and looking at cat videos and instagram, and started looking back at the videos I made of Maya. They went from her playing and being silly to videos of her breathing weird, coughing, chewing on air, and other things to show the vet. The happiest video I have from recently is her "yelling" at me for her dinner. She really sounds mad sometimes lol. I'd rather have that than her not eating, though.

I watched the Kitten Bowl last week wanted to play with her so bad, but she wasn't too interested. She swatted at the laser light a couple of times and laid down, but her breathing was fine. If I try to play with other toys, sometimes it's literally like they are not even there.

It really breaks my heart and again, I feel so guilty, but I want my Mayabear back.

Aww don’t feel guilty. Of course you miss her being healthy. Who wouldn’t? It’s hard getting used to a new lifestyle because of health issues. Being a caregiver is so difficult. You’re great for sticking with her!

It's not wrong, it's so normal on so many levels, for you, for your baby....
Hang in there, my thoughts and prayers are with you

What matters is the love you give.

Of course you don't want her feeling rough and miss her playing. Maybe this is just a bump in the road. Give her a big hug and kiss from me.

Mia

Yes, for her life right now is for you just being there. You are her everything. Don't feel sad and guilty, as long as she has YOU she has her everything. Just being close by, even if not all the time, is all she wants and needs. I'm sure SHE misses being the old Maya too, but she is still sharing your life's journey physically, and it is enough for now. As long as she is not suffering, still enjoying life and it's joy,(food, sleeping next to you, being with you) it is enough. To stimulate her more and maybe offer her a little excitement, offer toys that have steeped in catnip, and change them often, just try to offer play with the laser light and and a wand, or anything she used to play with. Itr may perk her up to 'socialize' a baby kitten from the shelter if possible or someone with a litter, females absolutely love to teach manners to a kitten and 'mother' them. But you don't want to stress her out either.
Cats often become sedentary when they get older, mine are all around 5 and I often feel guilty because they sleep so much and seem bored. Summer is a better time, at least they can smell the air in their enclosure. You might plan an enclosure for your little one or at least plan to supervise her outside.
I'll pray for healing vibes for your little one, miracles still happen you know. I really think she is happy just to have you, so try not to worry about tomorrow, just take one day at a time.....

Mia6 said:

Of course you don't want her feeling rough and miss her playing. Maybe this is just a bump in the road. Give her a big hug and kiss from me.

Mia

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Aw thanks

Thanks everyone for your kind words and prayers. It's comforting to know I have support. I don't have anyone to talk to about this really.

We’re crazy about cats here so you’re at the right place.

You're at the right place. There's always someone here who understands.