Should A 17 Yr Old Cat Be Staying Alone @home.

Need help convincing Mom not to keep our 17 yr old cat, alone at home for one week.
After reading a few valuable treads today, i decided to gather some opinions, regarding our much loved 17 year old family cat.

Neels actually belonged to my late Dad...been his shadow for many years (Dad unfortunately passed away two years ago) My Mom is doing an excellent job taking care of Neels, but when it comes to holiday times, my concerns start. She simply cannot see any need of having a pet sitter come over for 7 days or taking Neels to his regular Cat hotel. Mom is convinced he would much rather prefer to stay at home alone, with only the house worker coming in once a day to change the sand box and provide new food.
It breaks my heart to know that even thow Neels is safe, he is all alone in that big house of theirs, with only the radio playing for company and comfort. I strongly believe 7 days is too long & will be emotionally difficult for Neels handle. I live in another province and unfortunately cannot fly over that often.

I am out of words to say to convince my Mom not to leave our Cat alone... need some facts or proffesional opinions regarding leaving a senior cat alone in a dubble story house for seven + days. My Mom think i am neurotic and unnecessary worried. Sadly my sister, my husband and some of her friends agree with her, and it feels like inam the only one fighting for the welfare of the cat. Neels has always been Dad’s shadow, a bit of a loner but more than happy just to be indoor, around family. He knows the House worker but she does not pick him up or stay for very long. Usually just come in, early mornings to check.

I flew down about a year ago, while Mom was away for a week or so. Found Neels hiding under furniture, being very unsure and not grooming himself at all.

While my Dad was alive, these holiday trips were less often and Neels was taken to an excellent Cat hotel while they were on holiday. No problems at all. Now that Mom is alone she often goes sight seeing with friends and Neels is left at home. According to her, he prefers staying at home, moving freely in his own familiar space, than to be taken to the hotel. She is covinced he will be ok. My head and heart tells me it is wrong and cruel to leave him alone for more than 4 days.

Forgive me for the lengthy explanation, just reslly need a bit of “ammunition” that might convince Mom to rather use a cat sitter or the regular Cattery.

Thank you for reading- i really think this is an excellent, sincere and educational forum.

Hi!
Can you (not enough time?) or can you have someone else, set up a camera in the house?

Granting that it's a year later and he probably isn't grieving any longer (which could have been the cause of the hiding and lack of grooming), there's no denying this cat is getting to the age where closer, more continual daily observation would be appropriate.

It is unlikely that you will change your mother's mind, particularly if no one is willing to support you. I won't go into what I think of the callous disregard of Neels's feelings. He's probably still terrified every times she leaves, that like your dad she won't be coming back.

Perhaps you could take Neels to live with you? and your mother can flit around as she pleases.

Hi. All I can give you is testimony from my point of view. Feeby is 14+ and the older she gets the needier she gets - I think that is true for many cats. She would absolutely DIE if I left her alone like that. She already decreased her eating (and, that's saying a lot for a cat whose overweight) when I left her alone with my neighbor coming in twice a day to feed her/take care of litter box/AND play with her for a while each time. She was happy to see him arrive, but sad to see him go - he could tell.

I won't leave Feeby alone for overnight, much less 4 days or longer. Is there a neighbor your mom has that you could talk to and maybe coordinate with them over the phone about watching Neels when needed? Maybe they would be willing to do it for a small fee? Or, if they are a cat lover, they may just want to do it because they understand the stress that it give an older cat.

The holiday rush is over so the Cat hotel should have rooms and a lower rate if you can persuade her before she goes. She might if for no other reason than to get you to stop complaining to her about it. That worked for me once with my mother. Not twice, just once.

Cats are very territorial and prefer their familiar surroundings. Relocating to a new place--even a cat hotel--would be unsettling, at best. If your care giver could stay longer and perhaps pet and play with the cat (assuming kittie doesn't hide), she'd be happiest with that.

Ask the person who is coming to feed Neels to play with him a bit (5-15 minutes depending on his play tolerance) before his meal. He doesn't need to be picked up and would probably prefer not to leave his feet. But he probably would enjoy a hunt to go with his meal. Natural cat routine is hunt, eat, sometimes bathroom, groom, and then sleep. At 17, I don't know how much playing he still does but even a shoelace would stimulate some of that hunt instinct. When he has his needs met, he will be much more likely to feel relaxed and sleep. If he can still chew hard treats, you can also ask the caretaker to hide some throughout the house so he can hunt while she's away. If he can't chew hard treats, you can hide fish flakes throughout his environment. Though if he's anything like my Krista, he'll catch on quick and find those pretty darn quick.

Furballsmom said:

Hi!
Can you (not enough time?) or can you have someone else, set up a camera in the house?

Granting that it's a year later and he probably isn't grieving any longer (which could have been the cause of the hiding and lack of grooming), there's no denying this cat is getting to the age where closer, more continual daily observation would be appropriate.

Click to expand...

Thank you! Neels has always been a bit of a nervous cat- but i agree, more observation for an ageing cat necessary. Mom would laugh at the camera idea, but it would be wonderful to see though. Knowing Neels he would go to one of his 10 + places, and just sleep the week over. Appreciate your care. Hopefully this would make her think a bit

Ilana Boon said:

Need help convincing Mom not to keep our 17 yr old cat, alone at home for one week.
After reading a few valuable treads today, i decided to gather some opinions, regarding our much loved 17 year old family cat.

Neels actually belonged to my late Dad...been his shadow for many years (Dad unfortunately passed away two years ago) My Mom is doing an excellent job taking care of Neels, but when it comes to holiday times, my concerns start. She simply cannot see any need of having a pet sitter come over for 7 days or taking Neels to his regular Cat hotel. Mom is convinced he would much rather prefer to stay at home alone, with only the house worker coming in once a day to change the sand box and provide new food.
It breaks my heart to know that even thow Neels is safe, he is all alone in that big house of theirs, with only the radio playing for company and comfort. I strongly believe 7 days is too long & will be emotionally difficult for Neels handle. I live in another province and unfortunately cannot fly over that often.

I am out of words to say to convince my Mom not to leave our Cat alone... need some facts or proffesional opinions regarding leaving a senior cat alone in a dubble story house for seven + days. My Mom think i am neurotic and unnecessary worried. Sadly my sister, my husband and some of her friends agree with her, and it feels like inam the only one fighting for the welfare of the cat. Neels has always been Dad’s shadow, a bit of a loner but more than happy just to be indoor, around family. He knows the House worker but she does not pick him up or stay for very long. Usually just come in, early mornings to check.

I flew down about a year ago, while Mom was away for a week or so. Found Neels hiding under furniture, being very unsure and not grooming himself at all.

While my Dad was alive, these holiday trips were less often and Neels was taken to an excellent Cat hotel while they were on holiday. No problems at all. Now that Mom is alone she often goes sight seeing with friends and Neels is left at home. According to her, he prefers staying at home, moving freely in his own familiar space, than to be taken to the hotel. She is covinced he will be ok. My head and heart tells me it is wrong and cruel to leave him alone for more than 4 days.

Forgive me for the lengthy explanation, just reslly need a bit of “ammunition” that might convince Mom to rather use a cat sitter or the regular Cattery.

Thank you for reading- i really think this is an excellent, sincere and educational forum.

Click to expand...

Kflowers said:

It is unlikely that you will change your mother's mind, particularly if no one is willing to support you. I won't go into what I think of the callous disregard of Neels's feelings. He's probably still terrified every times she leaves, that like your dad she won't be coming back.

Perhaps you could take Neels to live with you? and your mother can flit around as she pleases.

Click to expand...

Thank you for this- agree with you 100%. Difficult and sad for me too. I am going to share some of your thoughts with her as she is already considering cancelling one of her trips because of me. The cat hotel is great and Neels will be fine there- even if it is just for a week. The thought of him being scared Mom will also disappear... havent thought of that. Dad passed away in a silly bicycle vs delivery truck accident. One of the worst things for me not to be able to explain to Neels why Dad didnt come back. We were all there- and time heals wounds, i know. Neels has adapted... also lost his Brother a few years ago. Bro was more adventerious than Neels
Might go and fetch him one day... we just have 2 african Greys rulling the house..And i think he prefers and loves his childhood home. Thank you. Appreciate your care.

FeebysOwner said:

Hi. All I can give you is testimony from my point of view. Feeby is 14+ and the older she gets the needier she gets - I think that is true for many cats. She would absolutely DIE if I left her alone like that. She already decreased her eating (and, that's saying a lot for a cat whose overweight) when I left her alone with my neighbor coming in twice a day to feed her/take care of litter box/AND play with her for a while each time. She was happy to see him arrive, but sad to see him go - he could tell.

I won't leave Feeby alone for overnight, much less 4 days or longer. Is there a neighbor your mom has that you could talk to and maybe coordinate with them over the phone about watching Neels when needed? Maybe they would be willing to do it for a small fee? Or, if they are a cat lover, they may just want to do it because they understand the stress that it give an older cat.

Click to expand...

Thank you ! Feeby is a lucky kitty. Going to chat to Mom again and discuss other opinions again. She is already considering cancelling one of her planned trips because of me. Neels was also a bit overweight and has lost lots of weight over the last year. Probably a combination between Dads’ passing and him being 17. The house worker is lovely and Neels knows & trust her... but she is not going to play with him. He has always been a bit of a scared kitty. It is being alone at night- without anyone being around to watch tv or make some kind of sounds, that gets to me. They have a double story house... and i honestly think Neels just moves from one room to another- sleeping the week away. Hate that idea. He likes and also trust the Cattery owner... and he is next to other cats... Just so much better than being alone. Appreciate your care and advise.

Kflowers said:

It is unlikely that you will change your mother's mind, particularly if no one is willing to support you. I won't go into what I think of the callous disregard of Neels's feelings. He's probably still terrified every times she leaves, that like your dad she won't be coming back.

Perhaps you could take Neels to live with you? and your mother can flit around as she pleases.

Click to expand...

daftcat75 said:

Ask the person who is coming to feed Neels to play with him a bit (5-15 minutes depending on his play tolerance) before his meal. He doesn't need to be picked up and would probably prefer not to leave his feet. But he probably would enjoy a hunt to go with his meal. Natural cat routine is hunt, eat, sometimes bathroom, groom, and then sleep. At 17, I don't know how much playing he still does but even a shoelace would stimulate some of that hunt instinct. When he has his needs met, he will be much more likely to feel relaxed and sleep. If he can still chew hard treats, you can also ask the caretaker to hide some throughout the house so he can hunt while she's away. If he can't chew hard treats, you can hide fish flakes throughout his environment. Though if he's anything like my Krista, he'll catch on quick and find those pretty darn quick.

Click to expand...

daftcat75 said:

Ask the person who is coming to feed Neels to play with him a bit (5-15 minutes depending on his play tolerance) before his meal. He doesn't need to be picked up and would probably prefer not to leave his feet. But he probably would enjoy a hunt to go with his meal. Natural cat routine is hunt, eat, sometimes bathroom, groom, and then sleep. At 17, I don't know how much playing he still does but even a shoelace would stimulate some of that hunt instinct. When he has his needs met, he will be much more likely to feel relaxed and sleep. If he can still chew hard treats, you can also ask the caretaker to hide some throughout the house so he can hunt while she's away. If he can't chew hard treats, you can hide fish flakes throughout his environment. Though if he's anything like my Krista, he'll catch on quick and find those pretty darn quick.

Click to expand...

daftcat75 said:

Ask the person who is coming to feed Neels to play with him a bit (5-15 minutes depending on his play tolerance) before his meal. He doesn't need to be picked up and would probably prefer not to leave his feet. But he probably would enjoy a hunt to go with his meal. Natural cat routine is hunt, eat, sometimes bathroom, groom, and then sleep. At 17, I don't know how much playing he still does but even a shoelace would stimulate some of that hunt instinct. When he has his needs met, he will be much more likely to feel relaxed and sleep. If he can still chew hard treats, you can also ask the caretaker to hide some throughout the house so he can hunt while she's away. If he can't chew hard treats, you can hide fish flakes throughout his environment. Though if he's anything like my Krista, he'll catch on quick and find those pretty darn quick.

Click to expand...

daftcat75 said:

Ask the person who is coming to feed Neels to play with him a bit (5-15 minutes depending on his play tolerance) before his meal. He doesn't need to be picked up and would probably prefer not to leave his feet. But he probably would enjoy a hunt to go with his meal. Natural cat routine is hunt, eat, sometimes bathroom, groom, and then sleep. At 17, I don't know how much playing he still does but even a shoelace would stimulate some of that hunt instinct. When he has his needs met, he will be much more likely to feel relaxed and sleep. If he can still chew hard treats, you can also ask the caretaker to hide some throughout the house so he can hunt while she's away. If he can't chew hard treats, you can hide fish flakes throughout his environment. Though if he's anything like my Krista, he'll catch on quick and find those pretty darn quick.

Click to expand...

Thank you! Hiding treats and keeping his interest sounds great... if he was younger. Neels sometimes play with a cat stick, but that will only be with one of us. He wont play with caregiver. She only comes in a few days of the week to help Mom with the house. I have seen Neels at the cattery. Much more relaxed and at ease with other cats close by, but still seperated. Just hope Mom will realize this too and take him through even if it for only one week. Appreciate your care xx

Kflowers said:

The holiday rush is over so the Cat hotel should have rooms and a lower rate if you can persuade her before she goes. She might if for no other reason than to get you to stop complaining to her about it. That worked for me once with my mother. Not twice, just once.

Click to expand...

Thank you- going to try again. Cat hotel is great and owner wonderful with Neels. I have also seen him being relaxed and at ease with other cats also being there. He had a brother once... also passed away a while ago.
But thank you. Going to discuss all of this with Mom. She loves him to- just think one week is an unnecessary move. She is luckily already considering cancelling one if her trips because i do not want her to leave him alone at home ( to be honest, i think she needs to stay home anyway .. running away, not always an answer) Appreciates your care

Cat Lover50 said:

Cats are very territorial and prefer their familiar surroundings. Relocating to a new place--even a cat hotel--would be unsettling, at best. If your care giver could stay longer and perhaps pet and play with the cat (assuming kittie doesn't hide), she'd be happiest with that.

Click to expand...

Thank you- hear what you say... and care taker, will stay longer but the evenings all alone in a double story house, just gets to me. Still think the cattery will be better. Appreciate your care

I've heard that cats prefer the place they are used to more than the people they love before. It's based on cats not liking change, and an excuse to leave the cat. It isn't true. Cats become as emotionally attached to their people as people do to each other. I know Neels was most attached to your Dad, after that comes your mother and you. He is far more attached to his people than his house. If that weren't true you could drop the cat and his bed off with anyone and the cat would never show the slightest notice. Yes, he likes his house. The attachment is probably about the same as yours to the house, except that he knows where his survival safe places are there.

My heart grieves for Neels and for you.

Just my opinion- my senior cats preferred to stay home. The pet sitter came every other day to change the water and clean the litter. Now I was feeding kibble then so that was less of an issue. Mine liked being home. The sitter had emergency contact info and the vet’s information.

I have three youngsters now who eat canned food and when I travel my sitter now comes twice a day.

If I may- I too am a widow. I was the caretaker for my husband for many years. I enjoy traveling and want the chance to do so while I have my health and the resources. If the current plans for the cat are not enough for you to be comfortable, could you bring the cat to your house? Just a thought.

You brought something up in a few posts ago that got me remembering what I have done for Feeby in the past while I was gone. Even though the neighbor was coming in twice a day to take care of her, I also put my TV on a timer in the living room where she hangs out a lot. Not that she watches TV, but most nights we do, so I thought that would at least give her some semblance of familiarity/routine.

And, in the other half of the house, I put a timer on a boom-box and had music playing at varying times when the TV wasn't programmed to come on. I don't know if it helped Feeby, but it helped me...

But, you seem to be leaning toward the cattery - and, frankly, I do think that is the best option in your case.

Ilana Boon said:

she is already considering cancelling one of her trips because of me.

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I'm not sure she needs to go quite this far. As Pjg8r is mentioning, all that is needed is increased care for the cat, not a life-style change on your mom's part.

In any case, I really like the timers on the radio and television - that not only gives a semblance of routine, but also provides some silence and a chance to not have talking voices/music/whatever the entire time.

Kflowers said:

I've heard that cats prefer the place they are used to more than the people they love before. It's based on cats not liking change, and an excuse to leave the cat. It isn't true. Cats become as emotionally attached to their people as people do to each other. I know Neels was most attached to your Dad, after that comes your mother and you. He is far more attached to his people than his house. If that weren't true you could drop the cat and his bed off with anyone and the cat would never show the slightest notice. Yes, he likes his house. The attachment is probably about the same as yours to the house, except that he knows where his survival safe places are there.

My heart grieves for Neels and for you.

Click to expand...

True-whether we want to know it or not- Thank you.
Neels is ok- really, do not want to upset anyone. Was just looking for more arguments/ ammunition to present to Mom .
To either get a good house sitter ( has to be someone he knows though) that will sleep in, or take him to the Cattery for that week. Lovely lady that cares for Neels just as much. She knows his story and treats him so nice! He has no problem going there. Hoping Mom will do the right thing. Including a pic of Mom and Neels. Thank you again...

The cattery sounds like a wonderful place, where he could relax and they could watch him for his happiness and health.