Our Cats' Health Vs Hypochondriasis/paranoia

Hi everyone. Since I'm a fairly new cat owner (less than a year), and since many of you have had cats and other animals for many years, I wanted to pick your brains about something. Hopefully it's not too vague. I just feel quite lost in this and wanted some general advice and support to help me see things more clearly.

I've always had pets, but not cats since I was very young. Mostly I've had dogs who, in my experience, are much more clear and obvious about when they're sick or hurt than cats are. I'm currently in a situation where--in addition to being a very conscientious, occasionally obsessive person who already has a history of anxiety and depression--I recently lost my heart-kitty Chai very traumatically to FIP. Right now more than ever, I find myself constantly weighing the decision of vet or no vet, for EVERY LITTLE THING. For example I was debating taking my 4 year old Chilli to the vet very early this morning because she just didn't seem herself and I was having a very strong emotional reaction, convincing myself that her belly was swollen and she was lethargic and she was going to die of FIP too... Then after calming myself down, I realized that I was looking at a bright-eyed, fluffy cat who is currently knocking things off my desk for fun, who is eating and grooming and using the litter box normally, who played with her toy just fine last night, and who is just acting slightly odd or less active for whatever reason. I also realized that it's Christmas Eve morning here, and I haven't even been able to enjoy the holidays because of my worry. It kind of hit me that I am spending so much time worrying and stressing over likely minor things that I am not really able to enjoy my cats as much as I should.

Obviously I'm still grieving, and I need to work on my own anxiety issues, including my instinctive reactions to things and trying to help myself think reasonably about my cats' health. But even then I feel quite out of my depth when trying to gauge WHEN I should take my babies to the vet. Especially since I'm still dealing with a lot of guilt and what-ifs about losing Chai. And especially right now since I have nearly exhausted my emergency vet allowance! I grew up in a household where we rarely went to the doctor for non-serious issues like a cold or stomach bug--just kind of "toughed it out" or "got over it" instead. I've lived most of my adult life so far in a similar way regarding my own health. But my attitude towards my cats has been the exact opposite, I suppose because my inexperience with cats (and their inability to tell me when something's wrong) makes me paranoid about the slightest issue. Still, that means that when I ask advice from my family members, who also have always had pets, their reaction is usually "just give her a few days and keep an eye on her! I'm sure she'll be all right!" which I'm not sure is always helpful advice.

Of course, I also worry about whether the stress of the vet visit in the first place will exacerbate issues more than help them. In Chilli's case, this past spring she had some sickness with some vomiting and diarrhea. She made a full recovery but we never found out for sure what had happened. I took her to the vet at least 4-5 times within a few weeks and subjected her to all kinds of tests that found nothing. While I don't regret taking her, at this point I'm pretty sure that the stress and trauma of the visits delayed her recovery a lot. She is extremely anxious when traveling and at the vet, and it was only once she was at home for a few days (during which time I was freaking out and agonizing over whether to take her again) that she finally started to feel better.

So... I wanted to ask about how you all keep your babies healthy, and how you balance the "vet or no vet" question, especially when money/time is an issue. I'm sure there are probably some differing opinions but I'm curious to hear all of them. Google has many mixed results and I think hearing from real experiences is going to be a lot more helpful!

For example, some of the things I've been thinking about are... Are there certain minor issues that you just keep an eye on? What symptoms are okay to give more time to watch, and what symptoms require an immediate emergency vet? How much of it is just knowing your own cat? How do you balance "gut feeling" versus objective facts? What kind of things do cats just need time and rest to heal from, rather than medical treatment? Do you use tend to use home remedies, drugs from the vet, or both? Do you trust your vet and their knowledge or do you feel the need to do lots of research on your own? How resilient and healthy are cats, even?? Is it better to be overly obsessive and stress our cats out, or slightly lax and risk missing something? Overall: When do you reasonably worry?

I'm not sure about a lot of these, but I have a little experience. First off, there is an emergency vet in the area that is very friendly, and if I'm really concerned about something when the regular vet isn't open, I call and discuss the situation with them. I did this when my cat started vomiting more than 24 hours after her spay. He asked about other symptoms (there weren't any) and then told me while I was welcome to bring her in at 2am to be sure, she was probably just having a late reaction to it and would at least by fine until the vet opened later that day. It made me feel so much better to have a professional opinion, rather than just hope for the best. And phone calls are free!

When I did end up taking her to the vet the next day, they did some tests and found nothing, and agreed it was a delayed reaction. When the vomiting continued, they suggested I bring in a stool sample to test, but said she could stay at home if she had fresh poop in the litter box. This reduced her time at the vet as well as the costs. And the vet said I was free to call if I ever had any other concerns.

I understand many of your feelings about Chilli especially after the loss of Chai. I can likewise relate to having dogs but their symptoms are not always obvious either. That is, their innate instinct of not wanting to show signs of weakness or become a victim of prey.

I agree with your family that sometimes the best advice is to wait a few days and keep an eye on her unless, of course, she is vomiting, has persistent diarrhea, loss of appetite, fever, etc. The longer Chilli lives with you the more you will get a feeling for her normal vs abnormal behavior or quirks. For example, we have had several cats who get loose poop when there is a severe change in weather particularly hot weather.

I also agree with BlueJay that sometimes you can call your vet or the emergency vet to discuss your concerns since phone calls are free. You can even take a picture or video and send it to the vet if you are worried or uncertain. All these ideas will help both her stress/anxiety as well as yours. Keep in mind, she can pick up on your stress levels as well.

I think it's good to talk through your concerns whether with relatives or friends but keep in mind this opens yourself up to a variety of opinions. And I'm sure you already know TCS is a wonderful, caring community of members with a wealth of experience and advice. I always say, "trust your gut." And, above all, make sure you trust and respect your vet. It is best to do your research in choosing a vet before rather than after your cat gets sick. I think this can help alleviate some of your worries too.

I realize I haven't answered all of your questions but I hope I have helped with one or two of them. I know you want to do what's best for Chilli and just by that act alone you are an excellent, compassionate cat parent.

I can definitely understand your concerns. Our kitties are members of the family, and so when they seem to be acting “off”, it’s natural to worry. Since cats can’t talk, they also can’t tell us if they’re feeling ill, so cat owners have to be perceptive to their cat’s emotions and behavior, and I can understand how playing the role of feline health monitor can be stressful.

Regarding vet care, annual check-ups (twice a year for senior cats), are very important. The decision of when to see the vet or emergency vet other times of the year can be tricky. I once started a thread on TCS to ask whether a situation warranted a visit to the emergency vet. I found it incredibly helpful and comforting to hear the reply of all my fellow posters in a time where I was in a panic.

I’ll attach some articles that give some details about when you need to call a vet ASAP:

11 Cat Emergencies That Need Immediate Vet Attention

When to Call an Emergency Vet, and How to Find One for Your Cat | Catster

I hope this helps, at least a little. I know that me and my all fellow TCS posters are here to help and support you, so please, don’t hesitate to ask if you ever have questions.

You'll get better with experience. Until then let's see if there are some things we can do to make you feel better. Note, except for weighing Sweet Gum, I don't do these things, mostly because I've had cats a long time. All my suggestions are serious, because I remember the not knowing and it was always when the vet was closed.

Get a scale of the sort used for small packages. It's flat and gives the weight in pounds and ounces or metric, click which you want.

Ask your vet to teach you how to take the cat's temperature, so you'll know whether the cat has a fever, or has been sleeping in front of the heat vent, or you are the one with the fever. Sometimes it's your hand that is hot when you feel kit's ears.

Have different flavors of food in case she won't eat. Be aware that some cats skip a meal now and then. Don't panic until she skips two.

Get a notebook, so any time you feel something is wrong you can immediately start keeping a record of what you notice - date and time. It will also let you compare what you see this moment with what you saw yesterday, or two hours ago. You will have a record of when stuff happened. You won't be left with 'she's thrown up a lot' you'll have she threw up at 10 am on Tuesday. You'll learn how much she sleeps and how much she plays.

That will give you a start. After the holidays ask one of the vet techs for other ideas.