Weird Question I Was Asked

Kal_shadowsmom

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Ok, so let me set this up: I was working last night, I work in a convenience store.
It's a small independent store in a relatively small town. This customer comes in, and I see him a few times a week maybe two or three. I've never had any conversations with him, other than the normal customer service stuff.ie how are you? Great, have a nice day.

Out of the blue, he asks me a deeply personal question of the bedroom nature, one that I won't repeat because I feel it's a bit too risque for cat forums lol.
My knee-jerk reaction was "what? Why" (out of curiosity was the reply)and "no".:noway:

Now, I'm trying to understand why that question was even brought up.

I am hopelessly oblivious when it comes to guys hitting on me, so I don't know if that's what was going on...:sigh:

Was he just trying to break my usual cheery customer service mindset.

Google isn't much help. I'm hoping we have some psychology majors in here. Haha

Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. :thumbsup:
 

Willowy

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Some people are just weird. I have a customer who always asks personal-ish questions like "what hobbies do you have?" and things of that nature. No bedroom questions yet! You'll have to learn how to set boundaries. Some questions/comments are inappropriate and you have to know how to shut that down in a customer service approved kind of way. Fixing them with a steely look and saying "why do you ask that?" usually works, lol. Or just changing the subject. But you have to set those boundaries! Some guys can get way out of hand if you don't.
 

kashmir64

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I would have responded with "That is inappropriate and also none of your business". If he were to ask another questionable question, I would say "Don't make me get a restraining order against you, because I will". Then I would make sure the manager knows what's going on.

Also, keep your eyes open if you are outside the store alone or at night. There are a lot of sick people out there, even in small towns. This is a red flag.
 

m3rma1d

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Are you new to the retail world ?
Customers can be crazy, and even good ones can turn on a dime.
Just ignore, be professional, and if it happens again get your boss to ban him from the store.
 

denice

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For me it would depend on how risque and personal the comment as to how I reacted. You definitely do need to shut it down or he may get worse. Try not to get flustered or embarrassed, I think some people do this because their payoff is that flustered, embarrassed reaction.
 

kashmir64

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Google isn't much help. I'm hoping we have some psychology majors in here. Haha
My son is studying to be a Clinical Psychologist. I'll talk to him and see if he wants to PM you. I'll let him use my account if he wants to do it. It is finals week in college though.
His professor is a Forensic Psychologist and used to be Clinical. He has said that the only people he has never been able to help are pedophiles or sexual predators. I'll ask my son though.
 

JamesCalifornia

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His professor is a Forensic Psychologist and used to be Clinical. He has said that the only people he has never been able to help are pedophiles or sexual predators.
~ Yes ... Unfortunately this is one reason we need prison/institution in our society. Some simply cannot function without feeding their harmful behavior - which none of us deserve to suffer the results .
 

FeralHearts

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I agree with everyone else - the world ifs full of weird and you do have to be careful.

One thing about your situation, having worked at a busy reception desk for years, you are a captive audience and I do mean captive. Like you, when a customer or client would ask me out, or ask me something that was really inappropriate I would be like 'wt Helk, where did that completely uncalled for unprofessional question come from." It was years before I sorted out I was a captive audience.

When I say captive audience is literally is that - I had no where to go - YOU have no where to go. You can't leave your station at all - or easily in those types of jobs and you have to be smiley and friendly which some people take as an open invitation. Mostly harmless - but some downright creepy.

Many people use that situation to gage reactions, test waters and chat because they have no one else to talk to. There guards are down and often will says things to you they wouldn't say to others or ask others.

With me I sometimes would pretend the phone rang and would answer it. Sometimes, in really weird situations I left my desk, sometimes I wouldn't react or respond at all and carry on doing something (or pretending to until they left. Often I was simply praying another client would walk in and they'd leave!)

I'd be curious too about what a soon to graduate Clinical Psychologist thinks of that kind of behavior. Harmless - or run?!
 
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Kal_shadowsmom

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Having discussed it with kashmir64 kashmir64 's son, I kind of confirmed my own conclusions about this guys behavior. I haven't seen the guy since, which is good because there's a good chance I embarrassed him more with my own shock than anything.
I'll be happy when my boss hires another guy to cover my nights, so I can stick to my day shift and my normal workers and retirees. Haha
 
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Kal_shadowsmom

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I agree with everyone else - the world ifs full of weird and you do have to be careful.

One thing about your situation, having worked at a busy reception desk for years, you are a captive audience and I do mean captive. Like you, when a customer or client would ask me out, or ask me something that was really inappropriate I would be like 'wt Helk, where did that completely uncalled for unprofessional question come from." It was years before I sorted out I was a captive audience.

When I say captive audience is literally is that - I had no where to go - YOU have no where to go. You can't leave your station at all - or easily in those types of jobs and you have to be smiley and friendly which some people take as an open invitation. Mostly harmless - but some downright creepy.

Many people use that situation to gage reactions, test waters and chat because they have no one else to talk to. There guards are down and often will says things to you they wouldn't say to others or ask others.

With me I sometimes would pretend the phone rang and would answer it. Sometimes, in really weird situations I left my desk, sometimes I wouldn't react or respond at all and carry on doing something (or pretending to until they left. Often I was simply praying another client would walk in and they'd leave!)

I'd be curious too about what a soon to graduate Clinical Psychologist thinks of that kind of behavior. Harmless - or run?!
The nice thing about my job is I literally can walk away and do something that looks busy. Lol
It's like "Oh look those products need to be straightened" "Oh look I have to wipe down this counter" it is literally one of the best things to politely dismiss someone.

The funny thing is with this guy after I gave him his dismissal of "have a good night" I quite literally started walking away to go do something and had to turn back around to answer that weird ass question.

It's a subtle art, looking incredibly busy doing nothing important. Lol
 

1 bruce 1

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Ok, so let me set this up: I was working last night, I work in a convenience store.
It's a small independent store in a relatively small town. This customer comes in, and I see him a few times a week maybe two or three. I've never had any conversations with him, other than the normal customer service stuff.ie how are you? Great, have a nice day.

Out of the blue, he asks me a deeply personal question of the bedroom nature, one that I won't repeat because I feel it's a bit too risque for cat forums lol.
My knee-jerk reaction was "what? Why" (out of curiosity was the reply)and "no".:noway:

Now, I'm trying to understand why that question was even brought up.

I am hopelessly oblivious when it comes to guys hitting on me, so I don't know if that's what was going on...:sigh:

Was he just trying to break my usual cheery customer service mindset.

Google isn't much help. I'm hoping we have some psychology majors in here. Haha

Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. :thumbsup:
The only way I could see some guy asking you a bedroom question is if
-it wasn't personal, involving you
-you happen to work at a place like a ladies underwear shop
-the man was dumbfounded and was shopping for his girl or wife and had no idea what to get and got up the courage to ask a saleswoman for ideas.

If you can't say "yes" to all 3, it was inappropriate and he was (IMO) either high, drunk, a pervert, or all of the above.
If it happens again, go to your supervisor.
Sorry, sometimes men are asses. :(
 

misty8723

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I had that happen to me once a long time ago when I worked in a restaurant. I was a teenager, and the person asking was a cop. And I'm pretty sure he WAS hitting on me. My response was "none of your business," and walk away.
 

kashmir64

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I had that happen to me once a long time ago when I worked in a restaurant. I was a teenager, and the person asking was a cop. And I'm pretty sure he WAS hitting on me. My response was "none of your business," and walk away.
For that one, I would think that they were looking for a teen (a specific one) that matched your description, but needed to be sure before doing anything. Your answer let him know it wasn't you that was being sought.
Just a guess.
 
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