Frightened Adopted Cat- Help...

I need some help/advice.

I took Geoffrey, a 3 year old, home from the shelter, on Nov 5.

He was so sensitive, and frightened, that he peed and pooped in the carrier.. poor thing..

In the shelter, he was very loving.. constantly looking for love: rubbing my face, head, putting his paw up for pets...purring up a storm.

The first day I saw him, he did not have any acne.. 5 days later he had acne!!!!

I live in a large apartment. There are 75 apartments in here. I have a 2 bedroom, 2 baths. I made one bathroom for him--litter box area. The other bedroom is a play room for him.. At least that is what I did with Artie.. I also keep his food in the kitchen, with an extra water bowl in the great room.

Geoffrey, stayed in his bathroom tub, the first night and 1/2 of the next day. He wanted attention and love.. The next day, he started exploring a bit.

Then, something must have spooked him. A noise, me picking him up, a smell.. It could have been any apartment noises, smells.

He took off and hid under my bed. That seemed to be his safe spot.. I would go in my bedroom, talk, read, and sing to him. He has been cuddling with me, in bed, since the second night he was here. He was playing, and was eating like a horse, 2-3 cans per day. The appetite seems to have subsided a bit-- now, around 2 cans. He hates turkey. He was loving treats, now he is not wanting anything to do with them. I do leave some dry out for him. It is the same food he had in the shelter.

He does not seem to understand sunlight..he runs under my bed when the sun comes out. He wakes me between 4-5AM every morning. Used to come out from under my bed around 4pm..

One thing is very strange. Each time I go to the bathroom, he always came and wanted love. He got spooked by the exhaust fan, and only occasionally visits now..

I have been trying to leave him alone, not to pick him up, but sometimes I just have to. He does not like being held.. or laps. At night, he is on the back of the couch, while I am either lying down on the sofa or on my recliner. He also sometimes sits on the sofa arm, to get my attention for pets...

On Nov 15, I took him to my own vet for an initial check up..It was a fight to grab him. It was sheer he~~, to get him into the carrier.. I had to resort to grabbing a huge towel, throwing it over his head, and body.. grabbing him really tightly.. It took 3 tries before I was successful.

He was so frightened, he pooped on my laminate floor, as he was running.. poor thing..

Since the Vet's appointment, Geoffrey has gotten worse. He has lost what little trust he had in me.. and it is getting worse each day. He is just hiding under my bed. He slinks out, carefully to eat, and use the litter box... He sees me and is afraid, I am going to grab him.. dam

I talk to him, I try to play with him.. he wants to play, but is untrusting.. sigh

I feel horrible..

His story was that his prior owner moved, and was not allowed to have a cat. I think there is more to it.
Geoffrey was originally named Goofy. I changed it.

To me, watching Geoffrey, from day 1, and seeing his reactions: I think he was hidden in either a closet or a bathroom; never exposed to sun, or fresh air (cracked open window). Any noise, he jumps..

I leave classical music on, when I leave the house. I try to lure him out from under my bed, with a wand toy.. it worked at first, now it doesn't.

He has never been relaxed enough to even sit when eating. He is squatting, and on guard.

I have Feliway running in here. I keep the carrier out, so he can get used to it.
He uses only cardboard scratchers. Does not even know what a tall scratcher is for, or even a low scratcher..

He also used the litter box, several times a day, for pee--small clumps. He poops just about every day.. the past week, it has been a bit soft. Feeding the same food as the shelter.

From what I understand, he was only in foster care a short period of time. That means within a period of a perhaps 2-3 weeks, he had: his home, given to the foster, then in isolation for a few days before he went into the general adoption area, and then home with me.. too much for a sensitive cat.

He also had 3 vet exams in that period of time.. poor thing.
And I come along.

He did not have acne on his first day at the shelter. I saw him immediately and fell in love with him...
Now, his acne is getting worse. He was given an antibiotic shot, just in case it could be cleared up.. but, my guess is it is either a food allergy or from severe stress....
sigh...

Geoffrey has been with me for 2.5 weeks.. and seems to be getting more and more frightened.
The least little noise, any movement by me, sends him running under my bed; even if he is on his way to the litter box or to eat....

Sorry for the book... But this little boy has been through a lot of stress.. how can I help relieve it? It seems to be worsening, with everything I try.. perhaps I should not try anything..so confused.

Can anyone come up with any ideas; other than, just leave him be??? and see if he comes out of it..

Artie was never like this. He was the exact opposite, so I am very unnerved by this...

He is supposed to have a recheck at the Vets on Nov 30; but, I think I am going to cancel it.

Help.. any advice??

I spooked him more today, because I had to clean the place.. vacuum, and dust.. He was so frightened.. I have been avoiding vacuuming my bedroom, but I had to do it.. I was stepping on pieces of litter and cardboard (scratcher).

I feel so bad.. sometimes I think he may be better off with someone else, who can have 2 cats. I can only have one.. I wonder if Geoffrey would do better with a playmate? Or if I should just stick it out longer.. because, he is really sweet, and I do too want to psychologically harm him further, by giving him up.. it is too soon, but so hard to deal with..

I go between trying to completely ignore him, to talking to him each time I go into my bedroom..

Help...

thanks..

artiemom said:

perhaps I should not try anything.

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This would be my suggestion, to hang in there and keep on ignoring him, up to a point, for as long as it takes. Do the things you do normally. Don't stress, don't even think about him at times, actually. I know this sounds weird, but he can tell when you're focused on him and that's scary at times.

You have him in your world now, so you have all sorts of time, there's no need to rush.

artiemom said:

At night, he is on the back of the couch, while I am either lying down on the sofa or on my recliner. He also sometimes sits on the sofa arm, to get my attention for pets...

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This is an enormous thing, and quite incredible. When he does that go ahead and give him what he wants. Otherwise, just go about your daily routine. He will get used to it all, because underneath it all, he knows, he can absolutely tell, that you're a wonderful, loving person.

Next time, if you can maybe try getting him into a different room for vacuuming your bedroom - that's what I have to do for my boy because I think it has a certain pitch to the sound, anyway, something, that bothers him.

Can you try a flat corelle type of dish? If duckpond is available I think (? it's been a little while LOL) that could work...

Artie was special. Your soul cat. It was different, no other cat will melt into the oneness with you as fast as Artie did.

But Geoffrey does care for you. He wouldn't come to you at all if he didn't. Right now, you are his only stability in a terrifying world of continuous change.

Yes, you had to clean. That's all right. To put off cleaning further would only have made it more frightening to him when you did it. Now he has the sound of the vacuum cleaner in his file of "Frightening noise, the thing didn't kill me, this time. It didn't even find me." Every time you vacuum and the vacuum doesn't kill Geoffrey the safer he'll feel with it.

I know you want a kit to cuddle. Be silent, wait and listen to the whispers of reassurance that Artie is sending you, that Geoffrey is your cat, because you are the one who can help Geoffrey. Remember the look in Geoffrey's eyes when you first saw him? When he went to you at the shelter, when you felt in your heart that this was the cat who needed you, the cat you needed?

Love is strong. Love is so strong sometimes the weight of it is almost too heavy to bear.

You can do this. Stop judging yourself. Stop putting timelines on this. In nature, in the world created for us to share with the little ones, time is measured in seasons not in months, weeks, days or hours.

Did you notice that Geoffrey's safe place is under your bed? Under your bed, not in any other room, under your bed where he can be surrounded by your scent, where he can hear your heart beat at night. Your heart beat makes him feel safe enough to face his fears for short bits of time. That is a huge gift from you to him and from the universe to you.

Talk to him, lie on the floor and talk to him while he's under the bed. Follow your heart.

I use a flat oblong saucer for his wet food, if not that, than it is a flat bread plate.

I do occasionally use a couple of Corelle small bowls for his dry food.. otherwise, it is in a stainless bowl.. His water bowls are one stainless and one ceramic.

A stainless steel water bowl means that he's comfortable with his reflection. That's a good thing.

...what about a food change? Is there any way to know what the food was that he was getting before the shelter?

It's only been 2.5 weeks, he's having to work out a ton of things and for all we know, there might be a dog or alpha cat that literally just moved into another apartment.

Hang in there, K Kflowers is right and I promise, you're doing a LOT better than you think you are

Hi. I totally agree that there is more to his past than maybe anyone other than his original owner knows. And, I think you're right about the acne being somehow connected to the stress. As long as it doesn't seem to be bothering him, put that aside for the moment.
If he wasn't on the wet food before, maybe you could forgo it for a while in case it is contributing to the acne. Or, replace it with a canned food specifically for allergies?
I would still talk to him softly - or sing - when he is around you. You don't have to be looking at him while you do.
I also think K Kflowers is totally on target with everything she said.
He's going to be a tough nut to crack, but he will come around.
I will tell you that some of the noise issues might never go away. Feeby, who is 14+ now, came to me around 2. Don't know what her previous time was like, but still to this day she runs and hides when any big truck comes down our street - every darn time!
Keep us posted A LOT.

Its early days for a frightened kitty. My little white cat is a fraidy cat she was not as a young kitten, but she had a lot of medical problems with her spay. after she got healthy she was a big fraidy cat. Sounds, people, everything scared her, she hid under furniture a lot. I was afraid i would never get to pet her again.

I dont know if what i did is right for all cats, but it has worked for her, when i dont think anything else would have. I let her be. i did not instigate touch with her, at all. and for a year or so i didn't touch her, she did not want it. I would play with her with a wand toy, she liked those as i didnt need to be that close, so she could play without fear that i would pick her up. wand toys are awesome for scared cats.

Now, about 3 to 4 years later she still does not like to be picked up or held much, but she cuddles up with me every night in bed, when i get in bed she is the biggest love bug! she isnt as afraid of sounds and stuff as she use to be, and she is normally somewhere in the room with us, but just out of reach. Thats ok, i would love to hold and squeeze on her more, but it stresses her, so i dont. sometimes she will walk up for a pet these days, but i always let her instigate it. My other 3 are not fraidy cats, so i expect she is due to trama from her medical issues.

Hang in there, keep the home as calm as possible, and let the cat set the pace for interactions. its very special when a fraidy cat gives you their trust. It has taken several years with my girl to start trusting again, but its worth every moment!

i do use either paper palates for food, or flat corelle plates. I also use the big corelle serving bowls for water. i have several and i swap them out for a good wash several times a week. my little girl had chin acne pretty bad after wearing a cone for several months. I got a medicated shampoo my vet recommended, and washed her chin every few days, that was hard because she didnt want me to catch her, so if your guy isnt too bad maybe wait on that. i also learned to feed only one meal on a plate, then dispose of it, or wash it. Dry food goes on a paper plate and gets tossed and replaced once or twice daily.

Geoffrey has been through a lot of changes in a short amount of time and is feeling a little overwhelmed. He is also showing fear from going through all these changes. I agree that sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. Let him decide how and when he wants to interact.

Many years ago I adopted a young adult cat that had been abandoned and abused before winding up in my home. She was terrified of anyone or anything. I had to teach her it was safe to even eat. It took a while to gain her trust but once it was earned the bond that formed was amazing. I do not think that Geoffrey was abused like my baby was. I will say that there were a lot of baby steps to earning Baby T’s trust and helping her realize she was safe now. There were steps backwards sometimes but it all worked out in time.

My point is that Geoffrey will learn to trust you again. Geoffrey does love you but it is hard to see right now. I think that as others have said Geoffrey needs time to get used to a new routine in his new home. Allow Geoffrey to set the pace. Time does not move at the same speed for cats as it does for humans. You have a lot of love in your heart and Geoffrey will see it in time.

I brought home two siblings many years ago who seemed terrified of me. They hid for SO long. I finally gave up and started to ignore them. Put out food and just kept the home quiet as usual. And sure enough, one day one of them came out and just meowed at me like "Ok, I'll give it all a try" and the other took longer. But it happened.

Maybe you can consult with a behaviorist? N Vet's secretary can arrange for that, you know

Furballsmom said:

...what about a food change? Is there any way to know what the food was that he was getting before the shelter?

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All I know is that the brief time he was in the foster home, he got Friskies canned and Kirkland (Costco) dry...

I tried Friskies, a couple of time, he refused it.. so I went to the shelter food... I even took some home for him..

Do you have access to a Tractor Supply? they're online as well. There's Paws and Claws, and 4Health. The Paws and Claws Kitchen Selects might work for you.

artiemom


Hang in there!

One thing I know is that cats love ritual, reliable patterns, and they can tell time better than I can!

A cat who is new to a home and new to a loving person still needs time to watch - learn patterns - figure out what happens reliably & at what time, and I mean, down to the minute! - he needs to learn what smells are safe, what foods he will be offered, what places already smell of a kitty and what places he learns to mark with his own pheromones.

He is in survival mode, due to all the changes in his life recently, and you are his new friend, love and saviour -- but he needs to learn to trust who you are and what you do, and what your patterns are. THEN he will feel more relaxed, confident, open and "in power". He has lost his own power, with all the changes -- the shelter and now a new home.

I think trust will come with you trying to allow him space to choose to be around you, to learn your patterns and your voice and smells, your habits, your joys and sorrows, your emotions -- cats pick all of that up! They are amazing!



I know it's so hard for you too! People in this thread have given great advice -- we support you! Hang in there!


Patterns, patterns, patterns -- that's what shy or scared kitties need to learn about and trust. Just keep on loving and be patient - try to not be stressed.

Furballsmom said:

Do you have access to a Tractor Supply? they're online as well. There's Paws and Claws, and 4Health. The Paws and Claws Kitchen Selects might work for you.

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He seems to be eating ok.. as long as it is not turkey.. but I am not sure about the acne..

G is now not eating much of the shelter dry food.. It is Simply Nourish (I think Duck and turkey) with some of my dry Wellness Herring and tuna mix added...

He was chowing down on it.. I am slowly changing his dry. I could go with either one, but I do not want to introduce novel proteins, unless I have to.

Simply nourish has like a duck and chicken mix, duck and oatmeal, etc... wanting to stay away from the other stuff..

I did try some Purina Pro Plan. I think that may be what caused the really soft poop this morning.. or it could be from the stress of T-day...

For canned, I am staying with the shelter's Simply Nourish, my own Wellness and now a bit of PProPlan..

He does not seem to be a great big fan of Fancy Feast.. weird.

I would love to get him accustomed to a few brands, in case of a recall or a change in recipe. I would have something to fall back on.. but I do not want to stress him out.. so I am doing things slowly.

He is eating ok.. within the past 24 hours, he ate 3 cans of food: 2 Wellness and one ProPlan-during the night.

I am ignoring him. He was a bit better, late last night and this morning.

I opened up a sample can of Dr Estey's Turkey--nope... anything with turkey, he covers it up.. I open up some Wellness Chicken.. he tried covering that up, but then came back for it. I tried mixing a tiny bit of the turkey with it.. nope... so....it is just trial and error.

Geoffrey came out late last night. I ignored him.
He explored.. He jumped on my kitchen counter and was about to jump on top of the refrigerator. I would never get him down. The new cabinets are really high up..

I could see his shadow from the night light which is on the counter. All I did was say: Get down, Get down..with a strong voice. HE jumped down and ran, ears back, to under my bed.

He came out later, when I was going to bed.. again in the bathroom.. He was rubbing my legs. I petted him.. refused the feeling of picking him up.. let him come to me.. G put his left paw on my thigh.. I petted him.. looking away.. he circled around, again, this time placed both paws on my thigh. I petted him, sat back and patting my lap. He did not jump on my lap.

Instead, he jumped on the bathroom counter. He kept looking at me to scold him. I ignored him.. He did not know what to think.. HE was happy and purring.

Went to bed, he was right there, cuddling, purring, kneading.
He is skittish, if I move..

I turned over, with arms out.. He was so funny.. he came over to cuddle, his belly facing me, with his head on my wrist.. for a long time...and fell asleep.

I, on the other hand, could not sleep. I had to watch him.. finally, getting chilly, I had to move.. he walked away, but still cuddled...

Woke me up around 3:30AM-- crying in ear, tapping on shoulder; a couple of times. I ignored him.

When I got up, he followed me around! same routine with bathroom.. I petted him a bit, but not too much. He followed me!! and explored.

We played for a bit.. he explored for a bit.. ate a tiny bit.. always going over to my room and under my bed.. his safe spot..

He was so weird. He followed me into his bathroom, watching me scoop his box.. as if to say..There was a lot in it.. that is why he was waking me...

He watched me scoop, and then took me into the extra room to play...

Yesterday, I took Artie's Scratcher, his quilt, his old toys away.. and I left out a new YEOW, sardine catnip fishy. Artie loved them.. Geoffrey seems to love them also.

One step at a time.. It was a quiet night and a quiet morning--so far, in the building.. Geoffrey is back under my bed...

I have to clean my bathroom today, and do some laundry.. so it may upset him, but I am going to ignore him... let him come out to me..

That is excellent progress. He recovered from the vacuum, so he should be fine with the bathroom cleaning and the laundry. Some cats adore laundry detergent, just saying.

Top of the fridge, amazing, he listened to you. Especially amazing since the top of eh fridge is high value spot - it's warm and you can see almost everything. Sweet Gum went up twice and no more, but she has trouble jumping and doesn't like high up.

You just might have a cuddle monster in the making there.

Refrigerator! I have to block the top of my fridge with an unsightly packing box, to keep Milly off of it.

This is the first time we haven't had it marked as a particular cat's turf, or three of them during the day morning for one, afternoon for another, evening for a third. One particularly liked sleeping in the wok on top of the fridge.

The 4 obs box of dog cookies worked well as a blocking object for only one day. The cat and the dog thought it worked just fine.

That sounds wonderful! I bet every time he makes the move to interact with you that your heart skips a beat. I know mine did just while reading what you said!

Your most recent update brought a smile to my face.

Especially

artiemom said:

HE was happy and purring.

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When you can, do post a pic of Geoffrey in this thread, for those who didn't see his introduction thread.