Jasmine

mizzely

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I brought Jasmine home 17 years ago. Ever since then she has been my cuddle buddy. The only one at home who would watch scary movies with me. A pain in my side as often as she was my best friend. She was everything a cat should be: mischievous, friendly, getting into trouble, cuddly, a brat, hilarious, and so patient.

On Sunday she ballooned to an uncomfortable size. She was barely eating and wasn't using the bathroom. I knew something was really wrong even though everyone else said it would be fine. I scheduled a vet visit for Tuesday and while I feared the worst I was hoping for the best. X-rays and ultrasound confirmed our fears : a tumor or mass pressing on her intestines. Her abdomen was filled with a fluid that contained cancer cells. The vet simply stated that, "We could do surgery but it won't do anything for Jasmine."

She was already miserable. Usually she is on the move at the vet, looking for a way out. She layed on the table, unmoving. She had no fight left. Taking her home would mean waiting for her to die while she slowly starved to death or the fluid reached her lungs and suffocated her.

I had to say goodbye. I knew when I made the call for an exam that this was possible. I wasn't prepared to hear that my options were letting her suffer or putting her to sleep.

I love you, Jazzy. I was with you for half my life and all of yours. I am so happy I found you at the shelter even when my dad told me "absolutely do not bring a cat home." I was proud to spend my first paychecks on your first vet visit. You've been with me 17 years in body, but will be with me always in spirit.

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les26

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I am so sorry for your loss, 17 years was a good amount of time even though it is never enough. And when you were describing her I thought "that sounds like our Stanley" and when I saw the pictures I smiled as he looks just like her, must be that type cat's personality! But you were wonderful to her and have no regrets nor she, you will see her again one day and it will be wonderful.

I'm so glad that you didn't listen to your father! :)

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless.....:alright: :grouphug: :rbheart:
 

baxtersmom

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I'm so sorry for your loss. You absolutely did the best thing for Jasmine by letting her go peacefully. After witnessing my cats die at home I would give anything to go back in time and have them go to sleep peacefully, in my arms. In my experience, watching them die like that is heartbreaking. Grieve for her as long as you need to. She has been a part of your life for a very long time and living without her is going to be so hard. My last cat died two weeks ago tomorrow and I still find myself in tears several times a day. For the past 17 years I have woken up and attended to their needs first even before pouring myself a cup of coffee. Now I don't know what to do with myself. Your Jasmine was a beautiful cat. She looked very much like my Pepper, who passes away in August. Since then I've lost two more. :alright:
 

di and bob

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Your Jasmine looks just like my Chrissy! I lost her 6 years ago and still cry at times. Though the pain gets better it never goes away......
You made the right decision in this matter, you really had no choice.There was no way in the world you could let that little girl suffer for one moment longer than necessary. You knew by her physical changes that the end was near. And in a case where there is no cure, the kindest thing to do is to use the strength of your love and let her go. My Burt died last year of a tumor in his abdomen, and though we promised him no more trips to the vet, he suffered at the end, and I will forever be haunted by that.
The bond you have with that sweet girl will be with you forever. There is no way to ever prepare yourself for the final goodbye even when you know it is coming. Your heart breaks just the same, and your soul is shattered. Try not to dwell on the end, it brings nothing but heartache and elevates the death to more importance than the life, and you know her life was much more important. Concentrate instead on her life and the love she brought to your own. If she was like my own dear little one she was sassy and lived life to the fullest, and that is exactly how she wants you to go forward with your own life. just as you would want for her if you were the first to go. This allows her to live on through the love you hold for her, and allows that love to spread and bloom in the sunshine that comes from finding joy in life, not hiding and withering in the darkness of grief.
"Death cannot take that which never dies"......hold on to that, because it is true, your love for her will never die, will never leave you, and she is always as close as your thoughts and prayers.
You shared your life's journey with that little girl for 17 years. It is never long enough, but it is so much longer than others have. You are so fortunate to have had her in your life, so blessed. To have never had that chance would have been unthinkable. So many years shows what love and care she received, and your love is all she ever wanted in life and you gave her that. She is at peace.
My heart goes out to you, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and send you a hug in spirit. We are all family at a time like this, we all need the support of those who understand. Take care of yourself,it is too easy to lose reality in the when immersed in grief. Time, and only time, will help soften the sharp edges, it will allow distance between you and the pain that is consuming you right now, be good to yourself......RIP precious Jasmine. You will be so dearly missed, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Jasmine, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

Goodness knows, where there is love, and eternity is not long enough...but you gave Jamine home and love all her long life. And then, when her life had become a burden to her, you helped her shrug off that heavy coat of flesh and fur that could no longer support her loving heart and gentle spirit. Now Jasmine dances on sunlight, free and whole and healthy. Love never dies you know, it only changes form and continues on, still Love. Love abides, and Jasmine is with you still.
 
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mizzely

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Thank you all so much for your kind words. I am both sad and happy that so many understand what I'm going through. I know I did the right thing and to keep her here longer would have been selfish and painful for both of us. The vet said Jasmine was probably just slowly declining without many or any symptoms until a tipping point which just happened to be the two days before when it went to hell and regardless of when we caught it the prognosis would be the same. I'm so glad we were able to just enjoy being together, carefree and without worrying about how long we had together. I never envisioned the end this way but I'm glad she didn't suffer more than she did.

I got a photo of the marker that I ordered today. I really love it as much as you can love something like this.

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Loving Mickey

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I am truly sorry for your loss of your precious Jasmine! What a beautiful kitty.
I know the pain of losing one so precious and I would never want that pain for anyone. It can be so unbearable at times. Just know that you gave her a beautiful and happy life for seventeen years. You gave her everything she ever wanted , a home, food, safety , and most of all, love, all your love. In return , she gave you all her love. That is priceless and that love will remain with you always.
Your Jasmine will remain with you always, safely tucked away in your heart. I hope one day you can think of your sweet Jasmine with more smiles than tears.
RIP Sweet Jasmine!
You were and always will be so very loved!
Please watch over your loved one as she misses you so very much, much more than you could ever know!
Also, I have a marker for my Mickey very similar to the one you have for Jasmine.
I love it as well!
 

baxtersmom

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[QUOTE=" My Burt died last year of a tumor in his abdomen, and though we promised him no more trips to the vet, he suffered at the end, and I will forever be haunted by that.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for writing this. Most people say that their cat died peacefully at home. My Scooter's death was not peaceful and it haunts me every day. By the time I realized that he was dying it was too late to get him to an emergency vet. It was a Saturday evening. I sat with him on the floor for hours, stroking him and talking to him softly. For the first couple of hours he was fine. His breathing kept getting faster and he felt cold. He had hyperthyroidism, so he was usually hot. When he got to the active part of dying it was terrible. He tried to lift his head up and ended up slamming it into the wood floors really hard. I had a nice soft blanket for him but when I tried to move him onto it he hissed at me. He had never hissed at me before in his whole 15 years of life. I realized that he felt vulnerable because he couldn't protect himself. In my mind I feel like it was hours of him struggling to breath and seizing, but my husband says it was only a few minutes of the worst part. He just kept struggling. I wish I was able to end his suffering. I just kept talking to him through my tears and trying to comfort him. My cat who died a couple of months before from mouth cancer also died at home. But her death was much more peaceful and faster. I just can't get the visions of Scooter fighting to breath and seizing out of my mind. I wish I had known that he was going to die. That morning he ate a lot and drank a lot. I wish I could go back in time. If I could I would have taken him to the vet so that he could have passed away peacefully in my arms. I'm sorry for going into such detail but you're the first person who seems to have had a similar experience with your Burt. I wish so bad for this guilt to go away. I miss him so much but I can't focus on all the good times because the end was so bad.
 
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mizzely

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So a related story.

In June, I placed a large order for Friskies cans from Chewy as that is what Jasmine could eat without throwing up. Lydia would eat it too so it was a win.

Ever since Jasmine left us, Lydia has not wanted to eat any Friskies. I have a ton of it left due to the sale price and replacements that were sent, but she turns her nose up to it. I mentioned donating all my food to a local shelter, and my friend asked if I could return some for a credit so I could get more food Lydia will eat.

I contacted Chewy late last night, letting them know my situation. They emailed me today to let me know they refunded me ALL of the Friskies I bought, and to donate what I have left to a shelter or friend. I have partial cases left, etc, and they refunded me every penny I paid. Chewy did not have to do anything. This order was 6 months ago.

I'm in tears. It was not a ton of money but it was so kind and unexpected. Now Lydia will be happier, as well as the shelter kitties who will also benefit from their generosity!
 
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