The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2018

This helicopter parenting these days seems to be a US phenomenon. Kids are no more in danger of being kidnapped by strangers than they were then. There has always been traffic and crazy drivers, kids learn not to play in the street where that is happening but go to a friend's house who maybe lives in a cul-de-sac or on a quiet street where they can ride their bikes or skates without being in obvious danger. Or stay on the sidewalk. Still, things happen and parents did not immediately run to a lawyer to see whom they could sue for damages.
I remember my sister in 1971 being afraid that her sons (pre-schoolers) would be stolen because they were so good-looking (actually no more than any other child). I let mine run around as far as my voice or whistle would carry and they had to be in when the street lights came on. They fell out of trees, scraped their knees, got splinters, fought and made up with their friends, tore their clothes and got them dirty, caught frogs, bugs and crickets in a ditch, went to the park at the end of the street and as of first grade went to school by themselves or with a horde of other kids, went to the store by themselves to pick up a few items mom forgot. But you're right, now somebody would call CPS saying your child is unsupervised (how else will they learn to be self-reliant?) and that you are not a good parent and the people at CPS have no good sense either. This is even worse in well-to-do neighborhoods where children have "play dates" instead of knocking on a friend's door and ask if the friend can come out to play and if not then go the next friend's house or apartment. Everything is supervised and organized, the children are stifled from exploring anything on their own. Nothing good is going to come from that. It's turning into a real "nanny state" with somebody constantly hovering over children, teens and even adults who do not know, because they have not learned, on how to deal with the grown-up world. This is really sad.

John got me a pair of awesome pink headphones for my laptop for our anniversary. The second I pulled them out of the box, Connor jumped in. LOL. And then I started to get a picture buy Murphy walked past and Connor decided he had to pounce.

My English comp and computer finals are tomorrow! Wish me luck

It is a US phenomenon and that is because today's helicopter parents are yesterday's latchkey kids. Many kids in that generation suffered a pretty nasty emotional 1-2 punch. Their parents were never around (hence the term "latchkey") due to work/careers, so a lot of that generation came home to empty houses and were alone for a few hours. The best minds of the time came up with "quality time", saying that as long as parents made the time spent with kids to be memorable, it didn't really matter if there was only a little time spent with kids. So the kids had the feeling of "Why aren't I important in Mom and Dad's eyes? Why don't they want to be around me?" Plus, these were teens and pre-teens having no supervision for hours every day. They were lucky they survived, and if anyone found out what they had been doing quite a few kids would have gone to jail.

And these latchkey kids, the ones that survived no supervision relatively intact, they grew up and matured and started having their own kids. They did not want to make their kids feel unwanted, like how they had felt unwanted. They also looked back and realized how lucky they were and they remembered their friends that weren't lucky, that became alcoholics and addicts or ended up in jail from stealing or vandalizing one too many things, and they wanted to make sure that they never ever left their kids without supervision, so their kids didn't have to rely on luck to make it out of childhood. And those latchkey kids went overboard big time when it came to making their kids feel important and making sure they always had eyes on them so they can't get into serious trouble.

The good news though is that helicopter parenting is starting to die out. Latchkey parents are now moving into grandparent territory. Younger parents don't have the emotional baggage. They have the sense of this is how to properly parent, but they are already more laid back and probably will become more so over time, since they don't have memories pushing them overboard. Plus free-range parenting is growing' it's gaining more momentum and legal protections. Finally while some people can be cowed into giving up control of their children, most people have "my kid, my way" hardwired into the brain. In general, if helicopter parents try to be the parent of their grandkids, then their adult children are going to assert themselves in some manner, even if it means moving 500 miles (or more) away. With all those things, helicopter style is going to die out.

=======

My bike was stolen. Yeah, I want to do all three of those emoticons. And since I didn't lock it right and it wasn't actually secured, it's technically not a crime.

I'm pretty sure it is illegal to take something that doesn't belong to you whether it's locked or not.

It may be illegal for people to steal things but it certainly does not stop them.
arrouetta I am sorry to hear your bike got stolen. I had the same thing happen to me years ago. My bike was locked up with two locks at a busy train station. I was very unhappy when I got off the train after working all day and realized it was gone. Did you file a police report? I did even though nothing ever happened with it. I was so mad I called hubby up and he got stuck listening to me curse on his commute home. There was nothing we could do. I had the bicycle for years and no one ever touched it when I lived in Chicago. I live in what is considered a nice safe suburb and it gets stolen from the bike rack of the busiest train station on our local transit line. Hubby let me vent and then told me to go get Starbucks and wait for him to get off the train. We wondered around the apartment near the train station to see if we could find it. This was a suggestion the police made. I never found that bicycle.

Animal Crackers by Mike Osbun

Good thought!

Frank and Ernest by Thaves

Got full points on my English final

Katie M said:

Got full points on my English final

Click to expand...

Woot!

Full points on both

Now I'm off until the 13th!

Blakeney Green said:

That... actually makes a lot of sense. I never thought of it that way before.

Click to expand...

Niether had I, but it makes sense. It goes entirely against my old-fashioned grain, but it does make sense!

Alicia88 said:

Maybe I should have explained first. Parenting fail.

Click to expand...

Not a fail, just a little stumble. Not your first or worst, and won't be the last. Parenthood is the most intense, unpaid OJT career in the world.
"Parenthood, it's not just a job, it's an indenture!"

I have a question and perhaps somebody could refer me to a different thread.
I have an Open Air Litter Robot, I also have an 18 year old Persian cat besides 3 others cats. Two of the other cats have been using the LR for quite a while but the Persian was reluctant. Finally I saw her climbing out of it so I praised her, told her she was a good girl and gave her a treat. Every time I saw her using the LR instead of the old box I praised her, told her she was a good girl and gave her a treat to re-enforce that this is where she is supposed to do her business. So far this is working fine but now she expects a treat every time, running into the kitchen while making sure that I am following her and meowing the whole time, she is still in there getting louder all the time. How do I break her from expecting a treat every time she uses the LR and then making loud noises when she does not get one? Of course I do not want her to revert to the old box.
The other cat that does not use the LR is a different story altogether. She is also 18 years old now. I had gotten the original, much smaller LR about 14 years ago and she took to it the very first day it was in the house and religiously used it for about 8 years. At that point she decided she would not have any use for any kind of covered box and would pee on the floor. So I got her an open box and I had to go back to scooping which I don't have to do with the LR. Then I acquired the Persian who did not take to the LR but used the open box. A few years later I got the Open Air LR which she did not use until just recently. In the meantime the picky cat decided she would not use the box either but went back to doing her business on the floor. I now put doggie training pads on the floor where she preferred to do her business but that is no solution. Any thoughts on any of that?

For 18-year-old cats I think I'd keep on with the treats and the puppy pads .

Yeah, 18 year old cats....I'd give the treats simply because it makes the one happy and she doesn't have much time left, and I'd put an open litter box right where the other one does his business. What's really more important at this point, cleanliness convenience or making geriatric cats happy for the final stretch on this earth?

I am dipping my toes in the hobby of candy making, trying to decide if I like it before I pay for things like a thermometer and a double boiler. Right now I'm working with melt-able candy wafers and molds, cheap stuff while I decide.

The squeeze bottles have instructions for easy cleaning, basically remove as much of the melted candy as you can and then freeze the bottles, so the candy coating can be broken and fall out. It is soooooo tempting to remove what I can by turning my face skyward and then squeezing the liquid candy into my mouth. Especially since most of what I'm working with is chocolate.

One of my childhood cats only used puppy pads from ages 16-21. Really, what's the difference between a disposable pee pad and disposable litter? Some people wish their cat would use pee pads instead of a box, lol.

segelkatt said:

I have a question and perhaps somebody could refer me to a different thread.
I have an Open Air Litter Robot, I also have an 18 year old Persian cat besides 3 others cats. Two of the other cats have been using the LR for quite a while but the Persian was reluctant. Finally I saw her climbing out of it so I praised her, told her she was a good girl and gave her a treat. Every time I saw her using the LR instead of the old box I praised her, told her she was a good girl and gave her a treat to re-enforce that this is where she is supposed to do her business. So far this is working fine but now she expects a treat every time, running into the kitchen while making sure that I am following her and meowing the whole time, she is still in there getting louder all the time. How do I break her from expecting a treat every time she uses the LR and then making loud noises when she does not get one? Of course I do not want her to revert to the old box.
The other cat that does not use the LR is a different story altogether. She is also 18 years old now. I had gotten the original, much smaller LR about 14 years ago and she took to it the very first day it was in the house and religiously used it for about 8 years. At that point she decided she would not have any use for any kind of covered box and would pee on the floor. So I got her an open box and I had to go back to scooping which I don't have to do with the LR. Then I acquired the Persian who did not take to the LR but used the open box. A few years later I got the Open Air LR which she did not use until just recently. In the meantime the picky cat decided she would not use the box either but went back to doing her business on the floor. I now put doggie training pads on the floor where she preferred to do her business but that is no solution. Any thoughts on any of that?

Click to expand...

And, some of us~~~ who have lost our buddies, would be so happy to deal with a dirty puppy pad and giving treats; and having to clean a regular litter box ~~~~ just to have them around, THAT much longer....even one more day.. or a month... or a year...

Cherish what you have.. the time may come..too soon when they are no longer here...

Things kind of go into perspective....

Picky cat is going to live forever, she is making no signs of slowing down. The trouble with the puppy pads is that she manages to get pee UNDER the pad so it might just as well be a puddle on the floor (thank goodness it's in the bathroom dressing area where there is tile). I put the box right where she pees on the floor but she would not use it, peed right next to it, poop too. I have now decided to try a puppy pad INSIDE a litter pan without litter and see if that helps. Anything to keep the pee off the floor. I just hope that having a box will not make the Persian start using that again instead of the LR.

The Persian used the LR, stood right in front of me afterwards when I was not even in the kitchen and looked at me with those pathetic eyes but did not say anything. She then wandered off into the kitchen, I sneaked a peek, she looked at the treat container way up on a shelf but still did not say anything. After 10 minutes she came out of the kitchen without ever making a sound and she did not get a treat. Perhaps she is resigned that going potty in the right place does not mean she will get treats every time.

I don't know what to do about Murphy. He has decided that it's fine for the baby to use his tail as a teething toy. He'll lay next to the baby and put his tail in his face then just sit there while little man chews on it. Of course I put a stop to it. I'm not sure cat hair is on the food pyramid. Any suggestions for convincing Murphy to stop letting Aedan use him as a chew toy? I don't want Murphy to think he's not allowed to be around the baby. I want them to have a good relationship - and they do - but not the kind of relationship where the baby tries to eat the cat.