The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2018

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kashmir64

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Alicia88 said:
OMG she's such a little opportunist. I had errands to run today and while I was at the grocery store, I saw they had a sale on lunchables. 10 for $10. So, I got some. We got home and I gave her one. She knows she's supposed to eat the other food before the cookies. That's always been the rule and it's never been an issue before. Well, Aedan started crying so I went to get him. When I came back, she'd already eaten 1 cookie and started on the 2nd. I took it away and got after her. She tried satsaying she forgot. She didn't forget. It's always been the rule. So I told her since she got into the cookies first, if she didn't finish the lunchable, she was going to time out. And if she ever pulled that again, I wouldn't just take the cookies away and give them back - I would throw them in the trash. I swear, it's always something with this kid!
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Kids will be kids, cut her some slack.
When my son was little, I had the dessert last rule for set meals. Lunch is not a meal, it's more of a snack to tide you over until dinner. Once he was around 12 I started letting him eat anything he wanted, but he must eat dinner since it is balanced.
Eating anything he wants may be a bad thing since I'm certain that's why there's a food shortage in the world. :lol:
 
Alicia88

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Oh my. I just had this conversation.
Aislyn: I'm tired of being a kid!
Me: Enjoy it. Being an adult isn't as much fun as it sounds. You have to go to work and pay bills and never sleep and everyone always wants your money.
Aislyn: I'm not gonna work when I'm an adult.
Me: You have to work to live.
Aislyn: I'll just pay the money.
Me: You have to work to get the money so you can pay the money.
Aislyn: My mom doesn't. She just gets a boyfriend to give her money.
 
arouetta

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I'm late to the party.

As far as food, I've heard nutritionists say to let kids eat dessert first. If they must save it for last they will eat every crumb on their plate so they can eat it, even if they are full. If they can eat what they want first they will stop when full and won't consume all those extra calories. And apparently those extra calories are more damaging to weight control and nutritional intake than the loss of some nutrients not consumed because dessert took up the room.
 
Blakeney Green

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arouetta said:
I'm late to the party.

As far as food, I've heard nutritionists say to let kids eat dessert first. If they must save it for last they will eat every crumb on their plate so they can eat it, even if they are full. If they can eat what they want first they will stop when full and won't consume all those extra calories. And apparently those extra calories are more damaging to weight control and nutritional intake than the loss of some nutrients not consumed because dessert took up the room.
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That... actually makes a lot of sense. I never thought of it that way before.
 
Alicia88

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Oh shoot. I just accidentally upset Aislyn. John and I are just exhausted tonight, plus he has to cover an early shift for someone tomorrow so we decided we're all going to bed early. I started getting Aislyn ready for bed, thinking she wouldn't even notice that it's early. Usually her bedtime is 10, but we're moving it up to 9 tonight and we're going to bed as soon as both the kids are asleep. Well, she did notice because it wasn't completely dark out. She started crying and asking what she did wrong. So I tried explaining that she's not in trouble; we're just all going to bed early because we're very tired. And she kept crying and asking what she did wrong. I think I finally convinced her that she didn't do anything wrong but I feel terrible! Maybe I should have explained first. Parenting fail.
 
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Alicia88 said:
Oh shoot. I just accidentally upset Aislyn. John and I are just exhausted tonight, plus he has to cover an early shift for someone tomorrow so we decided we're all going to bed early. I started getting Aislyn ready for bed, thinking she wouldn't even notice that it's early. Usually her bedtime is 10, but we're moving it up to 9 tonight and we're going to bed as soon as both the kids are asleep. Well, she did notice because it wasn't completely dark out. She started crying and asking what she did wrong. So I tried explaining that she's not in trouble; we're just all going to bed early because we're very tired. And she kept crying and asking what she did wrong. I think I finally convinced her that she didn't do anything wrong but I feel terrible! Maybe I should have explained first. Parenting fail.
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It happens. You're doing the best you can and in the end that's all anybody can do. Just try to take it a day at a time.
 
Katie M

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My professor loved my PowerPoint! We had to pick a writing prompt and create a story, as well as use transitions, animations, and other effects. It was worth a whopping 140 points, and I got them all :yess:
 
Alicia88

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I have to do a PowerPoint with webcam voiceover. I'm not sure how to do that, I suck at public speaking and this is close, and I'm not sure how to keep the kids quiet while I do it.
 
segelkatt

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arouetta said:
Personally, I don't think the Saturday morning cartoons will be a good punishment. 5, it can be hard to tie an action and a negative response that has no connection to the action together well enough to not do the action in the future.
you have to explain right away that there will be no cartoons the next morning and then explain it again when the time comes it will sink in that actions have consequences.

Something involving cleaning up things affected by the cereal would be a better thing. Yeah, the cereal is gone now, but that's no reason she can't taken an old toothbrush and scrub the hard parts of the fountain, along with a good scrubbing of other cat items. She has to work hard (and therefore not do fun things) because she could have gotten the cats sick and now she has to make sure there's nothing dirty to make them sick.

Empathy is also the other part of discipline, and definitely explaining how certain foods make cats sick is good. However language development is concrete first ("chair", "cat") and abstract second ("warm", "sick"). Rather than just saying some foods make cats sick, maybe have the yucky face that Poison Control Center used to do for medicines and pictures of the foods you would have in the house while talking to her. Definitely focus on concrete words like "poison".

My final suggestion is really, really iffy, depending on her emotions. If she seems to be of a mindset that she can handle it, tell her that certain foods can get a cat get so sick that they join in heaven someone close to her that died. But that is really, really child dependent. Be aware though, when describing how sick cats can get that 5 year olds really don't understand death, ceasing to exist is beyond their developmental level, so that's about the only way to relay the cats could die. Focusing on really, really sick may be all you can do.
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segelkatt

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Alicia88 said:
Those annoying somes are better to hear that a screaming baby and sometimes, it's the only way to get things done around the house. I don't know how parents coped without technology. Housework took 10 times as long and it had to be harder to occupy the kids. I'm having enough trouble keeping up with the house AND my schoolwork AND the kids even with all the modern convenience. If not for my grandma coming over to snuggle the baby, I don't think I could do it.
A drum set is a truly evil gift. I love it!
I can't believe you were written up for cat hair on the cat tree. That's ridiculous!
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Once upon a time kids were tossed outside to play and find their own amusements while mom took care of the house etc and the smaller children who might be out in the yard making (and eating!) mudpies. That's the way it was until about 1985 when everything went downhill and parents became helicopter parents, hovering over their children, afraid of everything that possibly could happen to their kids including scraped knees or falling off their bikes. Instead of being told "no" their attention was drawn to something else and now they wonder why these kids suffer from ADHD (although there a genuine cases not brought on by overbearing parents).
If the screaming baby bothers you and you have made certain that there is nothing wrong then turn up the stereo so you won't hear that noise instead of suffering through the sound some annoying gadget makes.
 
Alicia88

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But now we have child trafficking and pedophiles and people in cars who drive like maniacs through residential neighborhoods.
 
segelkatt

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Alicia88 said:
Oh my. I just had this conversation.
Aislyn: I'm tired of being a kid!
Me: Enjoy it. Being an adult isn't as much fun as it sounds. You have to go to work and pay bills and never sleep and everyone always wants your money.
Aislyn: I'm not gonna work when I'm an adult.
Me: You have to work to live.
Aislyn: I'll just pay the money.
Me: You have to work to get the money so you can pay the money.
Aislyn: My mom doesn't. She just gets a boyfriend to give her money.
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My daughter made a remark similar to that but she was 16. She did not want to work, she just wanted the money. I told her she would be working on her back which p----d her off royally and she sulked for quite a while. She then got an after-school job at a nursing home being a go-fer.
Alicia88 said:
Oh shoot. I just accidentally upset Aislyn. John and I are just exhausted tonight, plus he has to cover an early shift for someone tomorrow so we decided we're all going to bed early. I started getting Aislyn ready for bed, thinking she wouldn't even notice that it's early. Usually her bedtime is 10, but we're moving it up to 9 tonight and we're going to bed as soon as both the kids are asleep. Well, she did notice because it wasn't completely dark out. She started crying and asking what she did wrong. So I tried explaining that she's not in trouble; we're just all going to bed early because we're very tired. And she kept crying and asking what she did wrong. I think I finally convinced her that she didn't do anything wrong but I feel terrible! Maybe I should have explained first. Parenting fail.
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Why blame yourself for that? The kid has to learn that things don't always go her way and I think 10 pm is much too late for a 5 yr old to go to bed, at her age she should have at least 10 hours sleep at night plus a nap during the day.
 
Alicia88

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We agreed on 10 because it's summer and she doesn't have school. She wakes up around 730 or 8 and has to take a nap. I feel bad because she thought she was in trouble, not because she was upset that things didn't go her way.
 
arouetta

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Alicia88 said:
But now we have child trafficking and pedophiles and people in cars who drive like maniacs through residential neighborhoods.
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Crimes against children from non-relatives have actually gone down dramatically, and it's not because they are indoors more. It's far safer for children to be outdoors now than it was when we were young.
 
Alicia88

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Maybe you just hear about it more now. But you have nosy people who will call CPS for every little thing. Let your kids play outside while you watch from the window? Get them taken away!
 
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I know, it's so inconsistent. You have those people who kept their kids locked up and beat them, and their neighbors are like. . .eh, we didn't want to be nosy. . .and if there were reports nothing was done. While perfectly good parents let their kids play outside unsupervised and their neighbors have a fit, and the cops/CPS overreact :/.

I was brought home by a cop when I was 7 because he didn't think kids should be out in the rain, at least without an adult. My mom chewed him out royally :D. But we also lived on a military base, so I don't know if she would have been more overprotective if we lived in a regular neighborhood.
arouetta said:
Crimes against children from non-relatives have actually gone down dramatically, and it's not because they are indoors more. It's far safer for children to be outdoors now than it was when we were young.
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Ha, my mom totally didn't believe me when I told her it was more dangerous for kids back when she was little than now. I showed her the numbers. She said she never heard about it back then. . .well yeah. They didn't want you to hear about it back then. Partially paternalism, partially lack of national media, I think.
 
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