Benji's Memorial 10/10/2006-9/6/2018

Last Saturday, I had to put my beautiful and sweet boy Benji to sleep after 36 days of illness. Up to now I don't know what was really wrong with him and before these 36 days nothing seemed wrong but of course since cats hide their illness he must have been sick for sometime.

It was the worst thing I had to do in my life and I will never forget the moment. My vet took me out of the room and everything was finished in not more than three minutes as my poor Benji had almost crossed the bridge himself. He wouldn't have lasted more than another day so I put a stop to his torture.

I read in an article that it is better to do it a week earlier than a week later, and right now I believe I should have done it earlier. Force feeding with no result, medication, blood tests all the time, IV fluids etc must have really been hard for my poor baby, but I thought then when there is life there is hope.

So here now I would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart, for the suggestions and the support. For being near me, for every post, for every emoji and I would also like to tell my baby this:

BENJI WE WILL MEET AGAIN! You have been the sweetest and best cat ever. I am NEVER EVER going to forget you as long as I live.

It's hard to not second-guess ourselves but please try to not blame yourself for not doing enough or waiting too long. You did everything you could for him and only had Benji's best interests at heart. He was obviously a well-loved kitty.

I'm so sorry for your loss of this beautiful boy. RIP, little man.

Thank you for your kind words. I will try not to. But I miss him so much and the pain is unbearable. Thanks again.

Aww...your Benji is beautiful. Even at the end when he is obviously sick, he still looks cute and precious. You love him and did everything you could for him. Even though he is no longer in his previous form, he will always be with you. My 9 year old Leroy passed away from cancer 3 weeks ago - just about 30 days after he first showed signs of lethargy. He got surgery to remove the intestinal tumor, which went well, but then we discovered the lymphoma was also in his brain. We tried chemo but the brain cancer kept progressing and on 5/18, I had to put the light of my life, the happiest part of my life, to sleep. Grieving my son is the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I still cry a lot and go through the stages of grief over and over again. I do feel myself getting stronger everyday but the pain is always just beneath the surface. The first days are toughest. You just feel numb. Then slowly but surely, you will start to regain yourself and feel stronger. I look forward to the day I cross that bridge and finally get to kiss my Leroy on the forehead again. Hang in there and post here when you need to talk

Dear Plumeria,
I am so sorry for your loss. It is exactly as you say, I feel numb and I cry every time I look at his grave when I open my kitchen door. I say good morning to him and good night and I think of him a lot, especially when I go into the room and balcony he used to be with his two mates. The room is so quiet as my other two cats in there are quiet. He used to scratch the door when he wanted food or wanted to be with me and I opened the door to find all three of them rush out. I would talk to them and hold them in my arms but especially him because he was such a tender and loving cat.

Rest you gentle, Benji, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

He was, and is, such a lovely boy! You did as best you knew, and it is so very hard to replace hope for another day with hope for "someday," but you did that. I know, deep inside, that Benji is happy, healthy, still loving you, and nearer than you think. Your time of parting will, someday, one day, be a time of meeting again.

I hope he is near, watching me, seeing that I look at his pictures, still talking to him.

Your sweet Benji is nearby, a love like you shared can't just disappear. The 'essence' that made him who he was will always be carried in your soul, he will always be alive as long as you love him. His new path will forever follow your own, he shared your life journey for a little while, becoming a part of you and bringing you happiness and love.
Just as you would want for him to find happiness and peace once more after leaving this earth, so he wants for you. because that is what love is, striving to bring happiness and love to the one it chooses. Not burying that love under the weight and darkness of grief.
Let your sweet memories bring comfort, let Benji send his love to you. He will if you keep your heart open to love and know his love will always have a secure place there to dwell.
Add to that love by loving again, it would bring honor to that name and he will be at peace knowing he lived his life well by bringing you such joy.
My heart goes out to you, I know how much this can hurt, how long it takes for a heart to heal after it is torn apart by grief. Time is the only thing that helps to dull the sharp edges. It allows you build a new life order and to learn to go on with out him in your life. But the spirit never dies, the bond you have with him can never be taken from you. His presence will forever be by your side, you have gained so much more than you will ever know. Take care......RIP dear Benji. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again! Goodnight, sleep tight, little one!

Thank you di and bob. I do think about him all the time.

I unfortunately had the experience of saying goodbye to my Midnite today. I share in your grief, and if it helps, it sounds as though Benji had a devoted parent and I am sure appreciated everything you did for him.

Oh thank you so much and I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure Midnite had a wonderful mother too who cared a lot. It is so hard when we lose our furry kids. I know that your beautiful Midnite together with my Benji in their kitty heaven are watching us talking about them right now. We will both remember them and all the wonderful times of love and affection they gave us. All day long I bring pictures of him to my mind, from the day I found him outside my door, they two operations he had because he like to chew and swallow first a silicon ball and then a plastic lid and I saved him from death. Then he became mischievous again and all playful and fluffy and he licked my hand and purred all the time. And I bring all those pictures of his life to my mind and think, yes he was happy! And I always have a smile on my face when I think of my love. I am sure you do the same, and you should know that your Midnite is thankful to you for everything that you have given him and done for him.

Thank you so much for your words. Midnite and Benji will get along great, having adventures together until we all meet again.

Exactly!

I am so sorry that you lost that sweet boy, but he is just fine now, not sick or hurting anymore just fine and relieved to shed his sickly Earthly body, his spirit soars in Heaven now. And you did nothing wrong, nothing done out of love could be wrong, the "what if's" and the "I should have's" are just the grief talking and it will take over for awhile, but just realize it will pass with time but it is so so hard to do, you feel like you too will die and don't care if you do, but hang in there and little by little you will feel a bit better.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, Lord Bless you.....

Thank you for your kind words les26. Thinking of him always brings tears to my eyes but also a smile because I know he had a good life with me and his other two mates.

Aww....what a cute line up