Mouth Cancer, Struggling With The Decision

bishbosh77 · Mar 19, 2018

Hi

I've had my guy for 13 years. Hes nearly 18 and came to me seen nobody would have him due to him having fiv. Hes been amazing and never ill until last year when he needed all his teeth removing. He recovered well and ate his dry and wet food and continued his senior time well. Until 10 weeks ago that is. . he was pawing at his mouth as if he had food stuck. Took him to the vet who saw a growth but couldn't say if it was cancerous or not. He started on pain meds and was great. Took him back 3 weeks ago and this time the vet was sure it was cancerous due to his fast it had grown. I was given the choice to leave it or operate etc but I decided against as success rates are low and it would only delay the inevitable by a couple of months anyway. Last couple of days he's started going off his food (usually blended with water and heated slightly) and twice he's bled from the side of the tumour. He sleeps next to me still, sits on my knee and enjoys a fuss. Uses his tray well, drinks, looks out of the window as usual and loves his bed by the radiator. I know he's close to that decision and I've cried loads and wrangled with myself as to what to do. I truly do not know when to make that decision to let him go. Please can someone advise. I know most of you will be in the US, I'm over the pond in the UK. My fear is too early or too late and Hedges (named before I owned him as he was found under a hedge) deserves dignity and respect. Any advice gratefully received as I'm in bits. Thanks

epona · Mar 19, 2018

I just want to say that my heart is breaking for you. The fact that people struggle with this decision is because of love - I know it's agonising for you, but it's not an easy thing to decide - and nor should it be.

You know Hedges better than anyone, I am not qualified to say when it is time. If his appetite is waning, given that he is in a situation where he is terminally ill, perhaps see when he stops eating completely - you don't want to see him waste away and go into organ failure, so that might be the deciding factor about when to help him on his way. On the other hand, if you think he is in a lot of pain, then that could also be a factor. But that is just my opinion, I can't tell you when the time is right for your cat.

Give him plenty of cuddles in whatever time you have left with him, and know that you gave him a great life and did everything you could xx

Antonio65 · Mar 20, 2018

Hi and welcome, I'm sorry you had to find us in such a terrible moment. I live on this side of the world as you, only further south.
My cat had an oral cancer and died March last year.
She was diagnosed 6-7 months earlier and we tried everything to cure her, but we only delayed what we were expecting...

She had radiation and chemo therapy and at the end of the course of therapy she was rather better, but two months later she started to decline and by Christmas 2016 I was sure that her days were numbered. I had already contacted her vets to have them ready to come over and put her to sleep at home.
Then she bounced back and had some more weeks of rather good life, then another week of terrible conditions and so on till March, when I had no more doubts.
I had to syringe feed her for many many weeks, and when it was clear that she couldn't stand it anymore then I knew it was time.
Sorry if I'm not more specific and detailed, but talking about this and about her now that her first anniversary is close at hand makes me really uncomfortable...

Stay close to Hedges, check on him constantly, when you see that his good days are few and far apart then you could start thinking about the end. Look him in the eyes, he will tell you when he's tired and ready to go.

I'm sorry...

di and bob · Mar 20, 2018

My experience with mouth cancer was a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. We had a beautiful geriatric boy show up at our house one day, covered in black, at first I thought he had rolled in tar. He was drooling profusely from the mouth, a drool that never quit, was starving, every rib showing, and braved getting beat up by our big ferals to sneak in and eat. He was SO starved for attention, my heart went out to him. I cleaned him up, he was so weak he couldn't even struggle. I found the black was the drool, laden with bacteria and turning black. i made him a nice heated bed in the garage and fed him twice a day, he was so grateful it brought tears to my eyes, and hate to my heart that someone could dump an obvious house cat so desperate in need. I had to change his bedding daily, washing his loads with bleach. The vet visit found he had oral cancer, very advanced and he was too old, and too frail, for really any kind of treatment. He had also been recently shot, most likely from someone who saw him drooling. The pellet had to be left in his ribs, it was lodged in a way to make surgery risky. The vet gave me prednisone, which turned out to be a miracle! It shrunk the tumor, stopped the drooling almost completely and made him feel much better. He was on it a little over a year. He had a time of love and care, good food, and a heated bed. We tried to make the end of his life as comfortable as possible. He gained that year, until both his hips broke spontaneously, most likely due to the cancer, and we ended his pain with tears and prayers at the vets. He is buried and remembered, he will always be loved and admired for his courage.
So try teh Prednisone, it may help for a while. I remember too when almost a year later I tried to refill it and the desk person advised me taht prednisone taken for extended periods can cause kidney failure. I told her, "give me the prednisone, he is already dying, if this makes his life a little better it is worth the risk of kidney failure"
I will pray for your sweet boy, I wish you both well. I know how hard this is, none of us want to see the suffering of our little ones. My heart goes out to you, I pray you find the strength to get through this, I know you will because your love is strong. Take care......

blueyedgirl5946 · Mar 20, 2018

I too had a cat with oral cancer. It was a painful decline, for me., not so much at first for her. Then it got that way for her too. She did continue to eat for a while. We treated her with some medicines, really palliative care. A biopsy would have been extensive cutting and left her mouth deformed. When she stopped eating, we made that decision. Her cancer was between her nose and mouth. I try no to worry now about if we waited too late or helped her too early. We did what we felt was right for her.
I didn't want to keep her here for me. It hurts. I know you will make the right decision for your cat. I, too, have always felt that they deserve to die with some dignity. Cats deserve that. Just sending you hugs and prayers.

bishbosh77 · Mar 20, 2018

Thank you everyone I really do appreciate all your words. He's been fast asleep most of today then suddenly just been sick with runny dark brown sick (No odour) Hes stretched out and back to sleep near the radiator. I know he also had the start of kidney disease last September but very early stages. He's not a great traveller and I'm trying to avoid stressing him out as it's almost a trade off if you see what I mean. I'll see what he's like later as I need to go out for a couple of hours so I'll leave him some food and see if he's had it when I'm home. Thanks guys x

nansiludie · Mar 20, 2018

I really don't have much better advice although I know how stressful and heartbreaking this is. One of my cats has cancer as well. Just taking it a day at a time and enjoying what time we have. Have you tried baby food? On his worse days he'll eat the baby food. Does the Vet have him on pain medicine? Some here had been given opiods for their cats pain, mine is on metacam. I know the risks but its the only thing that keeps him comfortable. :hugs:

Timmer · Mar 20, 2018

I've been in grief therapy recently, and she told me concerning when to say good-bye, your head will know before your heart will know. I've had two cats that I knew I should have done it sooner; Timmer was the only cat I worried I did it too soon, but my head knows I did the right thing. He had GI lymphoma and couldn't move his bowels at all and was very sick. It was sad. My deciding day was when I came home from work and he had been sick all over the entire house. I was not angry about that. He followed me around while I cleaned it up - but it was more like I was devastated that he was home ALONE ALL DAY WITHOUT ME. In pain, sick, and alone because I had to go to work. I knew whatever I was doing to help was not making him better. Even if I had stayed home from work, I couldn't have helped him, other than to just be there. And the last night we had together he didn't want to sleep with me. That told me a lot. IT SPOKE VOLUMES TO ME. So I took him in the next morning.

I had a chance to talk to the vet a month after it happened and I'd said bye, just because I still worried that I didn't try hard enough. The vet explained to me that he wasn't responding to medication -- at all.
If your kitty isn't responding to meds, not eating, not drinking or moving around much, then consider saying good bye. Only you know your cat. You have that intimate relationship with him.

1 bruce 1 · Mar 20, 2018

bishbosh77 said:
Thank you everyone I really do appreciate all your words. He's been fast asleep most of today then suddenly just been sick with runny dark brown sick (No odour) Hes stretched out and back to sleep near the radiator. I know he also had the start of kidney disease last September but very early stages. He's not a great traveller and I'm trying to avoid stressing him out as it's almost a trade off if you see what I mean. I'll see what he's like later as I need to go out for a couple of hours so I'll leave him some food and see if he's had it when I'm home. Thanks guys x

I agree with avoiding stress as much as possible. I hope he's eating some when you return. :crossfingers:

We had a cat with oral cancer, the tumor was located in a place that operation would have been near impossible (right near her jawbone) and the tumor grew, dislocating/breaking her jaw in the process.
She got a lot of home hospice-type care but when she was unable to eat, even though she WANTED to eat, we had to make a choice.
I have used colloidal silver on tumors in dogs and have had good results in shrinking/keeping tumors from growing, but the cancer was still there; it was done as a comfort of the dog thing.... I have never used it on cats, nor do I know if it's safe, but if the size of the tumor causes problems it might be worth asking your vet if they feel it's worth a try? :grouphug:

duckpond · Mar 20, 2018

I am so sorry that your guy, and you are going through this! Sending you guys the best wishes and thoughts i can!

Amers619 · Mar 20, 2018

I am literally going through this with my precious 14yr old boy right now. He was given his official diagnosis on Friday though I have known in my heart for a couple weeks prior that this was what we were faced with. His is pretty extensive under his tongue. They removed much of it for the biopsy but it is inoperable as it stands and not many treatment options around/available. For me, I am taking the route of making him as comfortable as I can with paid meds and antibiotics and a lot of love and spoils while he enjoys as much quality of life as possible. My guy is still acting fairly normal except eating a bit less but I have increased his feedings. Right now, since he cannot eat dry food we are using a calorie dense wet food from the vet. He is supposed to be eating a can a day but he is more so eating a can every 1.5 days. I totally feel your dilemma as I am wondering the same... The when is excruciating to think about... I don't want to let go too soon but I don't want to let it go too long. I feel it is selfish to do so and would be more for my benefit than his.

1 bruce 1 · Mar 20, 2018

Amers619 said:
I am literally going through this with my precious 14yr old boy right now. He was given his official diagnosis on Friday though I have known in my heart for a couple weeks prior that this was what we were faced with. His is pretty extensive under his tongue. They removed much of it for the biopsy but it is inoperable as it stands and not many treatment options around/available. For me, I am taking the route of making him as comfortable as I can with paid meds and antibiotics and a lot of love and spoils while he enjoys as much quality of life as possible. My guy is still acting fairly normal except eating a bit less but I have increased his feedings. Right now, since he cannot eat dry food we are using a calorie dense wet food from the vet. He is supposed to be eating a can a day but he is more so eating a can every 1.5 days. I totally feel your dilemma as I am wondering the same... The when is excruciating to think about... I don't want to let go too soon but I don't want to let it go too long. I feel it is selfish to do so and would be more for my benefit than his.

It's excruciating, alright...and then some. It can drive us mad with what if's, we lose sleep, we suffer to.
A side note, the pain medications and antibiotics might be making his tummy feel queasy enough to lessen his appetite. (I know from experience that antibiotics will take my appetite away something fierce!)
So sorry you're going through this. Oral cancer is so, so difficult =(

neely · Mar 20, 2018

I'm also extremely sorry for what you are experiencing with Hedges. However, I'm glad you found the TCS forum where we can share information and lend our support. :hugs:

When our cat, Neely, was diagnosed with cancer of the mandible the vet told us it was one of the worse mouth cancers. He prescribed a pain medication that had to be prepared at a compound pharmacy, (Piroxicam). The first week she appeared to be better but she quickly went downhill and we could no longer stand to see her suffer. I'm glad to hear Hedges is still sleeping next to you and enjoys a fuss. Hold him tight and give him a big hug from all of us. :grouphug:

1 bruce 1 · Mar 20, 2018

neely said:
I'm also extremely sorry for what you are experiencing with Hedges. However, I'm glad you found the TCS forum where we can share information and lend our support. When our cat, Neely, was diagnosed with cancer of the mandible the vet told us it was one of the worse mouth cancers. He prescribed a pain medication that had to be prepared at a compound pharmacy, (Piroxicam). The first week she appeared to be better but she quickly went downhill and we could no longer stand to see her suffer. I'm glad to hear Hedges is still sleeping next to you and enjoys a fuss. Hold him tight and give him a big hug from all of us.

Antonio65 · Mar 21, 2018

1 bruce 1 said:
I have used colloidal silver on tumors in dogs and have had good results in shrinking/keeping tumors from growing, but the cancer was still there; it was done as a comfort of the dog thing.... I have never used it on cats, nor do I know if it's safe

Among the many things that, I think, might have caused the oral cancer to my Lola, I blame the colloidal silver that someone adviced me to use when she had an inflammation at the bottom of her mouth.
The woman who gave it to me runs a herbalist's shop and told me she regularly spray some drops of colloidal silver in the water bowls of her cats to keep it clean throughout the day.
She told to spray this silver two-three times a day straight into Lola's mouth to help her with this inflammation that wasn't responding to anything else.
I blame that silver, just like I blame other things I did to or used on her.

Sallysoo · Mar 21, 2018

I cried after reading your post. Help me to give him hugs. I fully support whatever your decision. We love our fur baby so deeply, it makes a difference to each of our lives. We couldn’t let go even we have too. It is okay. Be strong and help him when you decide the day. There is a no “right” day just like the day he first came to your life.

1 bruce 1 · Mar 21, 2018

Antonio65 said:
Among the many things that, I think, might have caused the oral cancer to my Lola, I blame the colloidal silver that someone adviced me to use when she had an inflammation at the bottom of her mouth.
The woman who gave it to me runs a herbalist's shop and told me she regularly spray some drops of colloidal silver in the water bowls of her cats to keep it clean throughout the day.
She told to spray this silver two-three times a day straight into Lola's mouth to help her with this inflammation that wasn't responding to anything else.
I blame that silver, just like I blame other things I did to or used on her.

I'm very sorry you had this experience with losing a cat to oral cancer. Its not a pleasant experience. And I'm sorry the silver did not work, and possibly made it worse.
However in my own defense, I wrote "I have used colloidal silver on tumors in dogs and have had good results in shrinking/keeping tumors from growing, but the cancer was still there; it was done as a comfort of the dog thing.... I have never used it on cats, nor do I know if it's safe, but if the size of the tumor causes problems it might be worth asking your vet if they feel it's worth a try? I did not tell the poster to use it and admitted I haven't used it on cats and encouraged them to speak with their vet.

Antonio65 · Mar 21, 2018

There were no signs at all of cancer when I started spraying that silver in my cat's mouth, but I think it might have triggered it.
Just like I suspect of other things... I will be never sure... and the vets didn't know anything!

SnugglesAnn · Mar 22, 2018

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Your story and my story are so similar; other than my Snuggles was only 11 before I had to make that decision for her early this year. She had stomatitis and also had to have all of her teeth removed last August. We all hoped that was the sole cause of all the inflammation, but the teeth removal only resolved the left side inflammation. After attempting the depo shots, oral prednisone, etc., the vet concluded it was most likely cancer and in January of this year a visible mass appeared. I was devastated. I still am.

It's a very difficult decision to let them go- even when you know it's the right one. Snuggles had been struggling to eat normally for awhile. Like you, I blended food, etc. and that seemed to work for awhile, until even that would not encourage her to eat. And that is ultimately what helped me make the choice. She went several days of only licking food and when the vet said she could feel the mass, I knew it was time. When I put her to sleep, I initially struggled with all the things I didn't do and questioned my decision over and over. Especially since her moods seem to have improved and she seemed happier than she had been in awhile. She just wasn't eating. Now that two months have passed though, I question why I waited so long. Although I do not regret having more special time with her, I do regret putting her through the stress of taking medicine, struggling to eat, etc.

No matter what you choose to do, or when you do it, you will question it. The only thing we can really do is think about what they are going through- and if it's severe enough that it is painful, or causing them to stop eating, or causing them to want to only sleep- then you will know. Snuggles acted happy, but by not eating, she was starving herself to death. Think to yourself, if you were them, how much would you be able to take? I have a feeling Hedges will tell you in his own subtle way when it is time. If Snuggles had continued to eat, I would have continued to fight. She finally put a stop to it. As I was told when I first came on this board, when I made that decision to let her go, I chose to end her pain and make it my own. There is no greater love than that.

You are in my thoughts and prayers :redheartpump:

JGombs99 · Mar 22, 2018

I'm so very sorry to hear what you're going through. A bit over a month ago, I had to say goodbye to my Denver. I, too had him for 13 years, although he was a bit younger than your boy (he was 15). Like your boy, Denver came to me with his name, and changing it was never a consideration. I found this forum, and the wonderful people here after losing Denver, and getting my new Tortie girl, Patches.

Unfortunately, I don't have any positive info to share with you, but I wanted to lend my perspective. Like you seem to be doing, I analyzed and agonized over the decision. I knew it was drawing near, but I didn't feel comfortable making the decision completely on my own. Luckily, my vet seemed to understand my needs, and he advised me on what I needed to do. I knew, though. I absolutely knew, but I just needed that final decision to be taken out of my hands. Looking back, I can say that when I began to question how to determine when it was time, this was the beginning of accepting that it was time. I had almost a year of knowing he wasn't as well as he once was (but for the majority of that year, he was mostly ok still). I had less than a week of analyzing the final decision. As many have said before me have said, he'll tell you when it's time. For me, obvious signs were when he showed interest in eating still, but completely stopped doing so (his eating had slowed for awhile before it completely stopped), also losing significant weight, increased vocalization (and an obvious sound of discomfort), and struggling to do things he once easily did (notably jumping onto the kitchen counter, but having difficulty clearing the counter, which was something he once did with ease). With the latter, he also seemed to try more frequently when he began to struggle. This, and the vocalization was particularly heartbreaking.

Again, I'm so very sorry you're at this point. Your post has my heart breaking all over again. Trust your kitty, and listen to him when he tells you the time is now.

Mouth Cancer, Struggling With The Decision

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