Where On His/her Body Does Your Cat Likes To Be Pet?

One of my cats (Meeko, male, 1 year and 2 months old, neutered) is really picky about petting. He loves have his ribs rubbed vigorously and the bottom of his tail scratched but he needs to be in constant movement. He likes to rub the sides of his nose against mine or my hand while walking around me. The only time he lets me do whatever I want is when he is kneading my hair.
If he is lying down somewhere, he lets me pet his cheeks two times... and the third time he gets up to move 30 cm away from my hand. So I was just thinking, maybe I haven't found the spot where he REALLY likes to be pet?
Don't get me wrong, Meeko is really affectionate and loving (in his own way); he follows me everywhere to be in the same room as me, sleeps nearby and meows to rub his nose against mine. I know he will never allow me to hold him in my arms for more than 5 seconds, but I'm okay with it (If I'm perfectly honest, it took me some time to accept it). I like him the way he is, which is why I think maybe the problem lies in the way I pet him. So I was curious to know what is your own cat "sweet spot"?
My other cat (Happy, male, 1 year and 5 months old, neutered) likes to be pet everywhere, but his favorite spots are his fluffy belly, his chin and when I play with his paws.

I can pet Demi everywhere except his belly and around his throat area below the chin, he will grab my hand with his claws. I think he's just playing though, I don't think he means to be mean. Maggie is still pretty feral, so I can only really pet her head sometimes, she doesn't really like her body petted and she will swat at me. The only time she wants to be cuddled is if there is a storm and she's scared.

Several of my cats have just adored having their noses rubbed, slowly from tip to forehead. My current cat likes an extremely firm stroke of her back with your fingers sort of pressing into her as you pet. One just loved a belly rub, but only if you did it with your foot. Any my beautiful Murphy loved to sit straight up on my lap while I pressed my lips to the top of her head. She also always had cold ears and loved it when so I would cup my hands over them and warm them up.

Almost every cat I've ever had has enjoyed having the top of their head gently stroked, rubbed or scratched. Some of them seem to go into a sort of trance while I do it - Paul is one of those. Chula loves that but also likes it when I extend my hand over the top of her back, with my thumb on one side of her spine and my fingers on the other. I then move my down her spine while gently pressing and releasing - like a massage. She preens and stretches the entire time, obviously enjoying it immensely. Many of my cats have also liked having the base of their tail rubbed or scratched and/or their ears rubbed.

I have a cat that loves having the side of his head petted (right under the ears & where his cheeks are with just a soft scratch.) Then I have my rump loving cat that loves to be petted right above his tail. The favorite spot seems different from cat to cat. They both will tolerate /like being pet in other places but it isn't their favorite.

susanm9006 said:

One just loved a belly rub, but only if you did it with your foot.

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I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I read that because I imagined how you found out rubbing the belly with your foot was effective!

susanm9006 said:

And my beautiful Murphy loved to sit straight up on my lap while I pressed my lips to the top of her head. She also always had cold ears and loved it when so I would cup my hands over them and warm them up.

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My 2 cats like when I kiss the top of their heads but neither of them would ever sit on my lap... I can keep on dreaming! I've never had a "lap cat" before. Apparently the only time they can be stuck to me like glue is when I sleep! My boyfriend says they often fall asleep on my legs.

margd said:

Chula loves that but also likes it when I extend my hand over the top of her back, with my thumb on one side of her spine and my fingers on the other. I then move my down her spine while gently pressing and releasing - like a massage. She preens and stretches the entire time, obviously enjoying it immensely.

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I just tried this with Meeko while he was hanging out on the windowsill and it seems I don't have your magical touch, even though I was really gently touching him, because I basically got yelled at! He meowed super loudly (what are you doing to me you crazy human?!) and quickly left the kitchen!

When I first met Carleton at the shelter he leaned into me and I petted him under his chin. It was love at first sight! That still remains his favorite spot to this day plus gently petting the top of his head.

All three of my cats like being petted under the chin, on the cheeks, on top of the head, and behind the ears. They have varying degrees of tolerance for the rest of their body. Frost will put up with pretty much anything other than his feet and the base of his tail. He meows pathetically if you pet by his tail. If you keep it up he'll lick you, but if you don't stop you might get a nip. He tries licking first though.

Ash will (gently) bite you if you pet the base of his tail and (gently) attacks your hand if you touch his belly. He's fine with his sides and back, but he tends to get overstimulated easily doing this and will (again, gently) bite.

Ember is okay with pretty much anything and is the only one who seems to enjoy the base of her tail being scratched. Doing this will cause her to stop walking, put her butt up, and then flop over on her side. She has no issue with her sides, back, or belly being petted, but will insist you focus on her face. She is, however, kind enough to let me play with her feet on occasion. Especially if she's happily purring away on my lap.

Funny story... I actually posted these on Facebook a week or two ago. My neighbor had gotten bit by Link after I told her to stay above the collar, as had my brother. So i figured since I keep verbally telling them maybe they needed it in writting. That thought lead to these two images and captions ....



A handy guide to Link.

Link is strong. Link is big. Link is smart. Link is opinionated. Link is not afraid.

If you are over and Link comes up, rolls cutely or brushes you.... it is a trap. Trying to touch, rub or pet him will result in blood. Don't do it. If you can't resist his cuteness put out a hand an inch from his head. If he head bumps you you may pet his head and only his head. The collar is the barrier of where petting is allowed. Passing the collar will lead to certain doom (say it dramatically in your head with an echo while reading that). Keep petting short and focus on ear scratching for best results. You aren't missing out on much by not petting the body he is boney and has a scratchy coat.



A handy guide to Rocket.

She doesn't really like strangers. She will be shadowing you the entire time you are over. She will stare at you and seem to be a statue. But don't stare back; its just rude to stare.

If you want to touch her fluffy softness (and she is as soft as she looks) then take a seat. Sit with a hand hanging down and don't move it. Just look anywhere but at her. Because like that movement in the corner of your eyes in the graveyard she will vanish if you look directly at her. When you feel the fuzz start rubbing and don't stop. Don't look either. She will move around and direct you where she wants pet. Everywhere is safe to pet. When your hand goes numb your halfway done petting her.

Just don't look at her.

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That said. I can personally look at and pet Rocket. She actually will mew at me if I am not looking at her. I can also approach her to pet her. Link I can, briefly, pet past his collar and brush his body. Although even I can't really pet him much on the body without getting a warning. But he knows better than to immediately bite me and will warn me when he has had enough (which is usually a brush or two) by thumping his tail. I push his boundaries ever so slightly and hold him so he doesn't completely desensitize to either. He tolerates me holding him better although I swear he starts deep sighing at me when he is done. He also gives the vet warnings. I think strangers don't get warnings because they don't speak Link.

Princess is the first lap cat I've ever owned, and I can touch her absolutely anywhere. She has one spot at the base of her tail she doesn't really like me to touch, but I think it makes her itch because she's never told me to stop but immediately goes to lick/chew the area lol. I can even massage her feet when she's relaxing, but she loves belly rubs over anything else. She will flop over and beg for them and actually not attack your hands when you give in!! She's a trapless cat! (Which is why I say she's an alien and not actually a cat)
Miss Kitty is the total opposite. I can hold her (momentarily), never touch the feet. Never touch the belly. Never touch the neck (EVER). Cheeks are great, top of head is great. Down the back and a gently stroke of the tail are okay. I've just came to accept she's not a physically affectionate cat. She will follow you around and talk to you and sleep on you but prefers to be at arms distance except if I've been gone away on a trip and then for the first ten minutes I'm home she's very very affectionate and wants me to hold her. That's really the only indication she gives me that she loves me, but it's enough

LOL Kieka ... cats roll over on their side when they want to play. I think it is the equivalent of "hey look I will give you a head start." My peach cat Salem will give me kisses and touch his nose to mine, and even let me touch my head to his. My other cat Dante looks like he thinks I'm trying to eat him if I bring my face anywhere near his. I can pet their chest or belly but I can tell it annoys them so I rarely do it.

Otto is like a cuddly toy. he enjoys petting everywhere. belly included. but he journeys into eternal bliss when i stroke his chin and front neck (not sure what that part is really called). when he is doing something and i move my hand just at his neck, he falls down like on trance wherever he is and purrs and i could swear he starts smiling! ) i havent found any place that he is uncomfortable with.

Missy enjoys it when you pet her between the shoulder blades, under the chin and on top of the head. Especially when she wakes up, or is getting tired. And as long the petting is limited in time... if not she'll let me know.

Molly will let me pet anywhere except her back paws and her belly. She prefers her head rubbed though and a lot of times when I'm running my hand down her back, she spins around and sticks her head under my hand.

Any where is good to Oliver. Cats don't stand on ceremony so as soon as they've had enough they go. They don't say, 'Thank you very much for the tummy rub, but I have to go now, urgent appointment.' After all, they are in charge. They're like little benign (mostly) dictators.
I saw a guy on YouTube who basically said let them guide you to the right spot eg. offer a finger to their nose and they will start the process, offering a certain place on their face for you to get the message and start tickling.

danteshuman said:

LOL Kieka ... cats roll over on their side when they want to play. I think it is the equivalent of "hey look I will give you a head start." My peach cat Salem will give me kisses and touch his nose to mine, and even let me touch my head to his. My other cat Dante looks like he thinks I'm trying to eat him if I bring my face anywhere near his. I can pet their chest or belly but I can tell it annoys them so I rarely do it.

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I think with Link its more of "I dare you to pet me" or "aren't I handsome?". He is very aware of people admiring him and poses when strangers walk past the house. The few times I have tried to start playing with him from the belly up rolling he looks at me very confused. When he is playing with the other two or wants to play he more does the hugging the floor and wagging his tail with huge eyes.

haleyds said:

Princess is the first lap cat I've ever owned, and I can touch her absolutely anywhere. She has one spot at the base of her tail she doesn't really like me to touch, but I think it makes her itch because she's never told me to stop but immediately goes to lick/chew the area lol. I can even massage her feet when she's relaxing, but she loves belly rubs over anything else. She will flop over and beg for them and actually not attack your hands when you give in!! She's a trapless cat! (Which is why I say she's an alien and not actually a cat)

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It sounds exactly like my cats! Except that Happy (red cat on my picture) really doesn't have a spot where I'm unable to pet him. Your "trapless cat" made me laugh. The little guy is such a nice furbaby; when I got him he had an eye infection so I had to apply ointment is his eyes. He didn't like it, but dealt with it pretty well. A couple months later he was actually purring, relaxing in my arms while I was applying the ointment for another infection! I thought "that's probably just a once in a lifetime occurence"... but no! He enjoys having his nails trimmed, purring like a little motor, just being happy (no pun intended) to be held. This week I have to trim the hair around their rears (long haired cats can get dirty in the litterbox; instead of running after them every once in a while because they have some poop stuck to their fur, I just trim it a bit, it makes it much easier!) and Happy was (again) purring and content to have some unwavering attention... while I was waving scissors very close to a sensible area.

haleyds said:

Miss Kitty is the total opposite. I can hold her (momentarily), never touch the feet. Never touch the belly. Never touch the neck (EVER). Cheeks are great, top of head is great. Down the back and a gently stroke of the tail are okay. I've just came to accept she's not a physically affectionate cat. She will follow you around and talk to you and sleep on you but prefers to be at arms distance except if I've been gone away on a trip and then for the first ten minutes I'm home she's very very affectionate and wants me to hold her. That's really the only indication she gives me that she loves me, but it's enough

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It my sounds weird, but it made me feel good to read this; especially the physically affectionate part. Of course, I don't mean I'm happy your cat is that way; more that I'm sort of relieved that someone understands what I experience with Meeko about the unspoken arms distance rule.

Because I got Happy a couple of months before Meeko (and got used to have a "trapless" cat), I was a bit sad that I couldn't hold him. I thought I could be doing something wrong, which is why he wasn't enjoying it. When I said this to the vet, she gave me a look of "you should know better than that" and told me "You know, what I've learned over the years is that, with cats, you get what you get. Nothing more and nothing less." I try to remind myself of this everytime Meeko is crying out because I have to trim his nails and he wants to be freed. I love him regardless of how he acts, I just wanted to find a way to "please" him.

I tried pretty much every spot you all mentioned in your posts, but I come to realize Meeko doesn't really have a sweet spot. Especially between the shoulderblades; it makes him really twitchy! What he seems to enjoy a lot is

susanm9006 said:

having their noses rubbed, slowly from tip to forehead.

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I was amazed to see how he "tolerates" it for a long time! Thank you for that tip!

I loved to hear about your cats and how they behave. It was fascinating to read.
Thank you for your replies.

mightyboosh said:

Cats don't stand on ceremony so as soon as they've had enough they go. They don't say, 'Thank you very much for the tummy rub, but I have to go now, urgent appointment.' After all, they are in charge. They're like little benign (mostly) dictators.

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This is a very accurate description! I wonder with whom/what they would have an appointment with?

jellycatfish said:

This is a very accurate description! I wonder with whom/what they would have an appointment with?

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He was guest speaker at The Academy for Benign (mostly) Dictators.

What a fun thread!
Took me a long time (and a lot of skin!) to figure out that cats are not one size fits all when it comes to petting. Jack is all about the head, but NOT belly. Rose's favorite place is the back of her torso, right over the tail. Jaz is everywhere, but can only go to the belly after she's had the "right" amount of head scratches. Bunny is anywhere, anytime... but DO NOT pick me up! Ditto for Soots. Lastly, we have a new stray (we've named Greyjoy)- trapped him and had him neutered/chipped, etc last week so right now he's all "don't you duckin come near me!!!," but he's still here so I suspect in time he'll forgive us and will teach me about how to pet him correctly. OMG, 6, really? When did THAT happen??!!