Extremelly Upset And Betrayed

Hello everyone. This is going to be long, but I really need some advice. I don't know if this post belongs here but I don't know where else to post it. I am a 22 year old college student. I have been rescuing cats for 3 years now, giving them foster, taking them to the vets and when they are ready, giving them for adoption. In the past month I had found homes for 12 cats and especially kittens. It has been very rough on me financially and emotionally because some people let me tell you, are really inconsiderate and liars. I always make sure though, that I am giving the cats to a responsible person who knows they have to be vaccinated, spayed/neutered and that they should keep them indoors if they live in the city or where there are dogs or a lot of cars. So far, from April to now May, I haven't had any really bad experiencies with the cats and their owners, except for yesterday.

This one lady who adopted a female kitten and has had her for a month now called me bawling her eyes out yesterday because the kitten was sneezing blood and she did not know what to do. I asked her if the kitty had been eating well and using the litter box. She said that the kitten had been active as usual and eating normally and also using the litter box. No sign of blood in the poop and she did not have diahrrea. Yesterday the vets were closed, so I told her please keep an eye on her at all times if possible and tomorrow take her to the vet. She said she didn't have any money until June 3rd. So I offered my help. I told her I would take her then and then when she gets her paycheck she can pay me back. She said ok and we planned to go today during the morning. Well, it's 1:37pm and I have not heard anything from her. Yesterday we first spoke at 8am that she called me until 10am. Then I went about my day and decided to call her around 3pm and ask for an update. She picked up after 15 calls (I did not called non stop, it took an hour and a half me calling and sending her messages because I got really scared something might have happened to the kitten) and told me she now sounded like Darth Vader whenever she breathe. I asked if she was being lethargic and she said that the kitten was still active and playing but still sneezing blood non stop. The blood she described it as pure red, not dark and it did not have any mucus or clear liquid with it, just blood. Anyway so I told her again, well we have to take her asap tomorrow and she confirmed it. But I had asked her if I could call at night for one last update and she said I could.

So I called around 9pm, the phone rang 2 times and then it went directly to the voicemail. It seemed as if she hanged up. I called one more time and this time it went straight to the voicemail so I know for sure she turned it off. I didn't think too much of it maybe she was already sleeping so I let it go and went to sleep also. Now today I woke up at 8am like we had planned and no call from her. I call around 8:30 and the phone was stil off!!! I went back to sleep and around 10:30 I woke up and no call again, so I called and AGAIN, PHONE OFF. I was like what the heck?! I checked on fb and she had not been online either. I waited until 12:30 and no call from her and phone still off.

Now at this point I am FREAKING OUT. Because I REALLY care a lot for all the cats I give up for adoption. I even went to her house since she had told me I could go any time, so I went and knocked on the door many times and nobody answered. I don't know if she was in the apartment or not but I couldn't really hear anything and since she lives in an apartment complex I have no way of knowing if she was out or something because I don't know what her new car looks like. I left in disappointment and anger not knowing what the heck is going on.

Now it is 1:52pm as I type this and she still has not turned on her phone nor logged on fb. I am sure she is purposely ignoring me, maybe something happened to the kitten, she might have died, and she doesn't want to tell me about it. Or if the kitten is still alive then why on earth has she not contacted me to take her to the vet?!!! I am losing my mind, either way it is very disrespectful for her to do this to me after I had helped her in the past with the kitten. I am desvastated thinking the kitten is dead because she did not care enough!!! Or if she is alive she is still sick and possibly in pain and needs to be checked!!! I know it is her cat now and not mine, but if she called me in the first place to let me know about this situation then the least she could do is be upfront and honest with me! I am very pissed and I am blaming myself for ever trusting this person and feel really depressed and guilty because of the kitten. I feel I made this happen. And it is situations like this one that make me want to back away from giving more cats for adoption. Because most people don't care as much as we rescuers do, or at least myself. Because I am devoted to helping as many cats as I can and feed the feral and stray ones on the streets. But honestly, this situation has me feeling really depressed because I am left WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED. And it is NOT a good feeling at all. I feel awful. Please, if someone could at least give me some words of courage or some advice on how to handle situations like these, let me know. I am sorry this is so long but I had to get it off my chest. Thank you.

Wow! I can understand your frustration. It's a shame the woman is so inconsiderate.

It sounds like the kitten may have passed away.

All you can do is leave her a message asking her to give an update, but be prepared for her not to respond.

I would also not give her another kitten as she clearly cannot afford one.

Please do not blame yourself as you have done nothing to cause this.

The rescue and foster work you are doing is admirable!

Sarthur2 said:

Wow! I can understand your frustration. It's a shame the woman is so inconsiderate.

It sounds like the kitten may have passed away.

All you can do is leave her a message asking her to give an update, but be prepared for her not to respond.

I would also not give her another kitten as she clearly cannot afford one.

Please do not blame yourself as you have done nothing to cause this.

The rescue and foster work you are doing is admirable!

Click to expand...

That is what I'm thinking and it breaks my heart. I trusted her completely as she has another older cat with her and is in good health, so I thought she knew how to handle these situations, but apparently she had no money so I wanted to help. I still haven't heard a word from her and yes I did send her 2 messages, one on her fb and one through text. Even if she never replies she will know my feelings. I told her I had gone to her apartment and that nobody answered. That I am really worried for the kitten and that she should at least let me know if something happened to her. And if she was still alive, that she should have contacted me like we agreed on. And that it is very disrespectful to ignore me and that I am very saddened by the whole situation. I am sure she will receive it. Maybe she will ignore the fb one but the text, unless she blocked my msgs, she will read it.

I had a breakdown earlier and couldn't stop crying out of frustration. Rescuing cats, dogs or any animal is a hard thing to do when you have so much love and feelings for them and then people fail you. I just hope she will call me by the end of the day... anything she says would be much more appreciated than this silent treatment.

Thank you for your words I always try to go the extra mile for the fur babies.

You might want to ask a rescue in your area to let you see/ use one of their adoption contracts. Probably get a few different ones.
It's not your fault if someone looks you square in the eye and lies.

It can be cathartic to have a good cry.

Rescue work can be very heartbreaking, but it can also be very heartwarming!

Do you keep a photo of each animal that you re-home, along with records on the person or family that has them?

Sarthur2 said:

It can be cathartic to have a good cry.

Rescue work can be very heartbreaking, but it can also be very heartwarming!

Do you keep a photo of each animal that you re-home, along with records on the person or family that has them?

Click to expand...

Sadly, since I do this on my own not as a part of an organization I don't have any adoption papers or anything like that. I do have pictures of all the cats and I have the owners phone numbers and on my fb. But nothing 'official' to put it that way.

I am really sad though. I ended up showing up at their house with my boyfriend because I couldn't take it anymore. I never got to see the kitten or speak to this woman at all. Only people I had communication with were her husband and her son. Apparently they are having issues with the apartment or whatever and she is very stressed and the only time I got to see her was when she got out to go downstairs to the apartment office to do some paper work or something like that. She walked really fast past me and all she said was "I'm sorry I can't talk to you right now" and she didn't even let me finish my sentence! I asked her son, honestly if the cat died just tell me. But he said she was alive, still sick but alive. Before she left downstairs, I asked her son if I could take the kitten to the vet and he said his mom said no because she won't be able to pay me. I then said, well I can cover it and she won't have to pay me back honestly, and he still said his mom said no. I was beyond pissed. I asked, why? If I am going to cover it? And he said "I don't know she just said she can't". My boyfriend looked at me like "let's just go" and so we did. Before I left I told her husband to tell her that I was sorry for all the inconvenience this may have brought her but that I was just worried about the kitten. He said he would do it and then we left.

Couple of hours go by and this woman HAD THE NERVE TO BLOCK ME ON FACEBOOK AFTER COMMENTING ON ONE OF MY STATUS. She thought I was making that status about her when it wasn't like that!!! The status was yesterday!!! Not even today that all of this went down. She didn't even gave me the chance to explain myself and tell her it wasn't about her. Basically the status was about how I am gonna take a break from rescuing cats because it has been really hard on me emotionally and financially. And that I have had many bad experiences with people before but also good ones. And I said I was gonna work on my current cases and help 2 more people and that was it. SHE WAS ONE OF THOSE 2 PEOPLE BUT BECAUSE SHE WAS SUCH AN IDIOT AND A COWARD INSTEAD OF CALLING ME SHE DECIDED TO COMMENT SOMETHING STUPID LIKE: If you have anything to say to me do it personally because I won't accept this kind of treatment. This is very direspectful since you don't know people's situations. I WAS SHOOK! SHE NEVER ANSWERED MY TEXT MESSAGES OR FB MESSAGES NOT EVEN THE ONE I WAS APOLOGIZING FOR TEXTING SO MUCH AND THAT I WISH HER SITUATION WOULD GET BETTER, but instead she commented something which was irrelevant to her and procceeded to block me. What I did was call her and of course since she is a double faced coward she ignored it. I sent her one last message expressing my feelings of how hypocritical she was being and that all I wanted was to help, but no answer. So last, last thing I did was explain the WHOLE situation to her daughter through fb messages and hopefully when she sees those long paragraphs she will tell her mom she was WRONG. And I also told her daughter that if for some reason they can't or don't want the kitten to call me because they have my number and to let me know so I can pick her up and bring her home. But OFCOURSE I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT IS GONNA HAPPEN. MAYBE THE KITTEN IS DEAD AND THEY ALL LIED TO ME BECAUSE NOT EVEN ONCE THEY LET ME SEE HER. I cried and told my boyfriend everything and he was there to support me. But SADLY I will never know what really happened to this kitten. I am SHATTERED.

The whole situation and the way they treated me was REALLY suspicious to my boyfriend and I.

This is one of the pictures I have of her. The one on the left. It breaks my heart to know she is so sick and nobody in that house even cares!!! Or perhaps she is dead... I can't stop crying and feeling like poop seeing her innocent little face...

What a precious little treasure your kitten is and I am praying for her welfare and happiness! You have done more for her than most shelters. If your area has a humane society, you could ask their advice. I hope that you can get, and keep, an open line of communication with the daughter and get some answers. I, too, am perplexed as to why the adopter didnt just hand over the kitten - my assumption is that the lady is afraid that you will do a repossession. I am praying that the daughter will get the kitten the attention she needs & some desperately wanted reassurance for you. Please know that you have done so much, and that your kitten (our rescues are always ours, even if as extended family) knew love and joy in your care. And I continue to keep you all in my prayers and thoughts....please keep us updated!

Sweet little kitten! What an awful thing for you to go through.

I've rescued kittens and sent them on to new homes too. Even if you're not part of an organization or an official rescue group you can still write up a contract and make sure adopters sign it. As long as you both have a signed copy of the contract it is legally binding and it can help you out in situations like these.

It should state that the adopters will get the kitten vaccinated, spayed or neutered and not declawed and that they will make sure the kitten gets any medical care it needs. It should also say who is responsible for paying for any vet care the kitten has.

I always put in a clause stating that if things don't work out the cat will be returned to me, rather than being passed on to a third party. That way you can keep track of where the cats and kittens are.

I hope things work out, please let us know if you hear anymore about this kitten.

This is all very suspicious to me too, and I don't blame you for feeling shattered.

Like others have said, you have gone above and beyond in offering your assistance.

I'm so sorry for what happened. I hope you feel better soon and will continue to foster when you are able.