I need some advice!

Can you arrange to be out of the house, while he is there? If not, do you have a friend, who can be there with you? It is doubtful that he would try anything, with a witness.

I must confess that I am not familiar with the background, here but you sound as though this is a fearful situation for you. Has this person exhibited any violent tendencies? If so, I hope that you made a police report.

Keep your doors and windows locked, while he is around and get a can of pepper spray.

Your landlady doesn't seem to be very fair in this if she already knows of previous trouble you have had with this man. It is OK wanting to help him out but isn't this going a bit too far. Couldn't you make her see what she is causing you to go through? How long will he be working for?

Kellye,

in times where you don't have anything to do, instead of being at home how about a movie? Or maybe hang out at the library? Or borders for browsing and a latte? I don't think you should be there alone with him if you're not comfortable. If you have no other option, I would lock myself in my bedroom with some pepper spray and the phone and just wait him out.

good luck!

Wish I lived in "Lost in Space" because I would definitely be there for you, or bring you here with me. You can't risk this, please tell your friends so that you are not alone.

Kellye if you are in the house while he is there keep the phone nearby.

Keep the pepper spray handy. Unlike some states, NC allows you to defend yourself without retreating. If he bothers you, a good spray to the face will drop him like a rock.

I vote for outside activities as well. Go for a walk, visit friends, go to a bookstore. Do you have a baseball bat handy? Those are good for intimidation factor if he starts something. But I wonder if he will? I would if he is there, simply avoid looking in his direction, and if he hails you just ignore him. He is there to get some work done and nothing else. Staring him in the face is like offering him a challenge, keep your face neutral and expressionless and hopefully he won't start trouble.

You could invite a friend to stay over.

Or you could get one of those beeper things where when you press a button the police is notified.

Make sure you have a powerful pepper spray or mace. The one that is specially formulated to include tear gas, foam and an UV type spray that marks the person.

Remember the three steps:
Step 1: Spray into face / eyes
Step 2: Take out your electric tazer and stick it into his groin
Step 3: Repeat if necessary or desired.

Or if you have a high speed connection, you could buy a webcam. Then turn it on and tell friends about it so you are being watched. And simply leave it on when you leave the house just in case he breaks in. I have seen some going for as cheap as $5. But you can get a decent one below $50.

Or if you are not adverse to carrying a gun. You could apply for a permit get one and go for some lessons.

Remember the power of the law. For assault, any act that causes you reasonable apprehension of the infliction of battery is sufficient. And battery is the infliction of force. How much force? Simple touching is sufficient as long as it is done in anger. There is no need for you to be injured one slightest bit. You can go to the police and you can sue him for civil damages even if you suffered no injury.

Dear Kiwideus,

I wish I could be there in person to support you. I own now and will never go back to renting. Never again will I have to deal with a landlord. I love it.

Go out for some expresso. And learn some self defense. If I male knows or thinks that a woman could take him down, he won't try anything. There is nothing worse for a male than the reality that a woman could beat him.

Goblin

I wish you the best of luck. You have already received very good advice but here's some: Keep your cell phone charged with you.

Originally Posted by Goblin

Dear Kiwideus,

Go out for some expresso. And learn some self defense. If I male knows or thinks that a woman could take him down, he won't try anything. There is nothing worse for a male than the reality that a woman could beat him.

Goblin

Click to expand...

I agree with Goblin and the rest that have commented. A man will be very shocked if you put some defense moves on him. My husband has taught me ways of getting out of scary situations (i.e. stranger holding knife or gun, grabbing you from behind).

But anyhoo, even though you know how this guy is.... DON'T give him the impression that you live in fear of him. Keep that pepper spray with you at all times, if anything. Take care okay!

Did he do something drastic to you which is the reason you left the volleyball team? Or did he threaten you or is he just a jerk when he's drunk, or just a 24-7 jerk or what? What beef does he have against you? Hmmmm...I thought for some reason that you worked, but I see that you don't, so I opt for what everyone else is saying, to have outdoor activities. Do you live in a house next to neighbors that may stay home? You could tell them about your concerns as well so that they can keep an eye out for you. Keep us apprised of what happens girly! Don't want anything bad happening to ya!

Sure wish I had some brilliant tip to add, but everyone has already given you such wonderful advice already! Just want to to say that I care about your situation and I'm glad that you're planning in advance. Sorry that you're having to deal with this in your own home. I agree that if I lived nearby, I'd be right beside you. Please take care of yourself!

Make sure the pepper spray is still in good condition.

Not that I am saying self defence is bad. But it should be your last line of defence. You want to take the person down before he comes within arm distance of you. Or if a gun is out of the question then take him down at arms length. Try not to actually punch since bare knuckles and bone make for a very painful experience to you. Fight dirty, go for groin, adam apple and don't forget to stick your thumbs into his eyes. Sorry for being explicit.

Alternatively, keep you cat close to you. The cat may and can protect you. There was this criminal case where the conviction was based on evidence from the cat. The person attacked the victim (cat owner) and the cat attacked back using the claws. One of the nail/claws was lodged in the attackers face and he was convicted based on that.

I don't have any extra advice to add, just look after yourself. It may help if you can invite a couple of friends over if they aren't comfortable being around him (safety in numbers) I know most people would think twice about trying something when faced with a gang of gals! Keep Safe

That's great what Bumpy said about the cat. Little Buttons protects me and the other cats. My daughter was fooling around but Buttons thought it was serious and she scooped a piece of flesh out of her. Buttons is so affectionate and it took us by surprise. But then when it's serious you are frightened of your precious kittie being hurt. He would get it then. I am so worried for you but you are being very sensible and making plans, I would get as many friends as you can to take turns in being with you at the times you cannot go out. Does he already know where you live?