Should I take my cat back to the shelter?

Hi All, 

Please Help!!!

I realise that there are other threads for this, however my situation is a little different in some ways. 

First of all, I would like to say that I come from a family of cat lovers. I am 27, I live by myself, and work from home so I can spend a good 20 hours a day with my cat. I got her as a replacement (that sounds harsh - long story) for my ex girlfriend.  

I got her (kitty) from a shelter about a year ago. I asked to see the cat who had been there the longest, and this skinny little 5 year old black moggy was presented to me, rubbing her head against my hand in affection. I fell in love, so I gave her a home.

Since having her, I have had problems with her ripping my expensive Danish furniture, curtains, carpets, etc etc but hey.. she's a cat, I can genuinely forgive her for that! 

But there is another problem, weeing on the floor.

She has 2 boxes, which I clean out thoroughly, literally as soon as she has been in them (she is very spoilt). They are in a quiet place in the house, and I use a brand which is recycled paper "bio-catalet", and the boxes are without lids. 

The problem seems to be at night - she uses the boxes absolutely fine when I am near to her, but when I am upstairs in bed, she seems to prefer going to the toilet on the floor. I have tried all sorts of techniques - putting physical objects in the way of where she goes, putting her food where she goes to the toilet on the floor, I've even bought a third box (told you she was spoilt) and had been putting that in place.

She doesn't have one "favourite" spot though, she has about half a dozen. My bathroom is carpeted, and she has started going in there over the last few weeks. 

It seems to be so intermittent - she will go through a run where everything is fine for a week or so, and then she starts doing it again.

I think the problem comes from outside - there is a cat that she is petrified of, and has attacked her a couple of times. I think the issue is that she is able to sit at the front window, and can see this cat, which scares her. I have had a word with the owners of the cat, but they work all day and can only let her out at night. That cat has also been here for years so I dont think it is fair to ask them to keep her in. 

I am very limited of space in my house, and there isn't really a room I could keep her in at night time, to avoid her being able to see outside.  I also cant leave the window open, as I live close(ish) to a main road, and although she never wanders that way, it means that it would be too noisy to sleep. I also can't put a cat flap in, as I rent the house.

She isn't really that friendly also since she got back fromt he shelter - I have been trying really hard with her to bond, but she just doesn't seem to want too. If I whistle at her for long enough, then she does jump on my lap, but she cant stand being stroked (I've tried all the techniques with that too!) She just seems to be really distant, and I have given her now about a year and 3 months, and I just feel like she would be better off in a home without other cats around, and where she can be more independent. 

I really got her, as I wanted some comfort, a nice friendly cat, who I could stroke and have some companionship with. I seem to have a cat which is a homewrecker, and who pees everywhere, and seems to prefer a quiet life.

I live in rented accommodation, and I am going to have to now replace the carpets, and the wallpaper from where she has been peeing. I just know that if I replace the carpets, and she starts weeing again, then I am going to start to resent her, which is what I really don't want to do.

Am I harsh to want to take her back, or do you think it would be in her best interests? The thought of returning a cat is mortifying to me! 

Mikes14uk,
You need to take her to a vet ASAP to make sure this isn't a bladder problem or health issue. I would do this first and get a full workup done , it's worth the $ and can tell you good needed information of her overall health. Also .... And very important. Keep her indoors only for her safety and relieve her anxiety , she has to be stressed knowing a attack is lurking.
I work at a shelter (ASPCA ) and I can tell you from experience many many cats land here with terrible wounds, disease, and personality stress from being outdoors even in the nicest areas. It is not hard at all to make the transition after a couple days and with some extra attention, like playing and new treats. If she will allow you to brush her even just a little bit to start ( like her neck & head) this helps bonding , don't give up!! I hope you don't have to return her and good luck
3cat

3cat, 

Many thanks for your speedy response, and advice.

 have already taken her to the vet, 3 times over the last year, seeing 3 different vets at the same clinic each time. They have checked for injuries, UTI's, other internal health issues etc and each time have found nothing. 

I'l try to keep her in for a few days, maybe she won't be as scared after a while if she can see the cat, but be safe? 

Mike

P.s. I have actually (somehow) overlooked the brushing idea - thank you for that. I've just been stroking her gently on her head, and stopping just before she starts to tail twitch. 


I'm going on amazon right now to see what they have!

Mikeuk,
I can recommend a toy called " Dabird", that is a long pole and long string with a unbelievably realistic bird feather that actually "flutters" and looks to be flying, it's available on Amazon. My cats ( and I have one with a "tude" like yours kinda) go nuts with this toy and it's does help him stay entertained and it wears him out so he has gradually gotten more loving ( he's starting to tolerate brushing now and one thing about brushing is you don't have to brush like you are grooming, just gentle short soft touches and then give a treat. Hope it helps! Keep me posted!!
3cat

It really sounds as though this cat that wanders at night is causing her lots of problems.  Is there a way to keep the blinds closed at night or keep her in a room away from the window? 

Have you tried a Feliway diffuser?  It is to help with calming.  They do seem to work, but take a few days.  You also might need more than one depending on the size of your place. 

I do believe there are motion detected deterents that you can place outside of a window to keep neighboring cats away.  Some release a puff of air and some turn a sprinkler on. 

I use a product called feline Composure treats or Composure liquid max.  I brought a feral into the house last year and he was a mess at night.  He also exhibits territorial aggression and the liquid composure has really helped. 

Check out Jackson Galaxy's website.  He is known as the Cat Daddy.  He has a show on Animal Planet called "My Cat from Hell" and he has worked with both the issue of peeing/pooping outside the box as well as the stress issue of neighboring cats. 

One suggestion for the litter box is to try some Dr. Elsey's Litter Attract.  It contains some herbs that really draw cats to the box.  I would use as many litter boxes as possible.  Your cat is not spoiled by having lots of boxes.  I would place 5 or more boxes scattered around if it meant they were used.  Place one in each spot where she previously has gone on the floor.  Also are you using a good enzymatic cleaner to remove all traces of scent?  If not she will repeated go back to that same spot.

You didn't mention in your post, but is she spayed? 

The Da Bilrd toy is awesome.  Cats love it and it may really tire her out.  Distraction works very well.

Keep us updated and welcome to the forums.

You might also try taking her for a walk during the day so she can mark the territory outside your home as hers. If the cats that are outside belong to neighbors, maybe you can have a play date with them too so your cat can learn they aren't a threat. Cats are very territorial and having cats outside her home that she can't do anything about probably upsets her. If she didn't see the cats as a threat, they might not upset her so much.

I don't know how you could consider taking her back after all this time.  After all, you purposely chose the cat who had been there the longest, so you weren't just adopting to fill your own empty nest but also wanted to save a little lost soul who had no home and needed you as well.  Adoption is sort of like a marriage, I think, for better or worse, in sickness or in health, and of course you do your best to help the other partner get through the worse and sickness part!  I hear in your story that you don't want to take her back (you would feel guilty forever most likely), you just want to fix her problems, particularly the out of box experiences.  That can absolutely be done.

I agree with everyone else who has posted above, that this outside cat who has attacked her IS the problem, but how did it attack her if she is an inside cat?  Is she out during the day and in at night? You mentioned not being able to have a cat flap, but if she is inside (and she should be) then that would make her more nervous as the other cat could come in.   Perhaps she uses her litter when you are around the downstairs because she feels SAFE when you are with her, but when you are upstairs in bed, in the night, she feels threatened by the other cat or cats outside because you are not there to protect her so she feels the nees to mark her inside territory by peeing all over.  If you confined her to your bedroom at night and had a litter box in the bedroom, perhaps that would calm her and she would sleep with you and not pee anywhere.

As @ShadowsRescue mentioned, Jackson Galaxy has had at least ONE show on exactly this problem, and the family ended up using one of those gadgets that turns on a hose when an animal walks by and that kept the visiting cats away from the house.  They also built a catio (an enclosed patio for cats) which gave her safe access to the outside with no danger from other cats.  They made her several elevated areas in the house also which made her feel safer.  It turned out the entire problem was caused by her reaction to the cats outside, and once that was settled, she used the litter box 100%.

As for shredding the furniture, if you keep her nails trimmed weekly, she will not be able to hook into the furniture and damage it.  I use the small nail trimmer that is sold in the bird department rather than the larger ones.  You don't need to trim them short, just remove the hooks on the end, which are clear.  Also, have you provided her with a good selection of other scratching alternatives?  There are many they love, particularly the cardboard scratchers that sit on the floor, all available from Amazon as well as other places.  There are wonderful and inexpensive cat trees you can buy from Amazon as well (we all like variations made by Armarkat) which have sisal rope for scratching and climbing as well, and most of my rescues love to sleep in the nests and box houses in those trees.

After you solve all these problems, she will probably be a calmer pet.  She may never be exactly what you expected, but it seems to me that's the case in many relationships, and love means working it out.  Love does grow over time if you hang in there and work it out, whether it's an animal or a person.

Hi everyone, 

Thank you so much for all your replies. Whilst I do really appreciate everything you have all wrote, if I replied to every point in every response, it would mean you would all have a very long message to read - but please see that as a positive - you have all written so much, an I am really thankful - to you all. 

There has been some *really* useful tips and advice offered, all of which I will listen too, and taken for the advice. 

I have decided because of all your inspiration to keep her - (to be honest, I think that I could have put her in the basket, and in the car, maybe even drove to the re-homing centre.. but I don't think I would have had the heart to take her in!) But your messages certainly weren't in vain. 

I have ordered a few extra litterboxes (one in my bedroom), I have taken her out for a walk - to "mark" her territory, on a pink lead (much to my neighbours amusement), I have ordered a couple of cat toys, some kitty nail trimmers, a device that scares off other cats by spraying a mist, some of that herb stuff for the litter tray, and an extra cat scratch post. As for the Feliway, I did try that, 3 x for 2 months but it didnt really seem to make a difference. - I just let it run its course and seen as it was fairly expensive, I didnt buy an extra bottle.

RedTopRescue - what you wrote in your last sentence in your last message really made me smile.

P.S. .... THESE are awesome!... ordered!....... 
Thank you all once again. "Happy catting!"

Mikes14uk,
Glad we could help and you have really set up a awesome arsenal to help your cat (&you) for sure. So cute she must have looked in a pink lead, did she adjust to it right away? If so you must know something I surely don't , my cat sat down and would NOT move an inch.
Hey when you get a chance ,post how things are progressing, love to hear how she's doing .
Good luck!
3catnight

mikes14uk said:

 
Hi everyone, 

Thank you so much for all your replies. Whilst I do really appreciate everything you have all wrote, if I replied to every point in every response, it would mean you would all have a very long message to read - but please see that as a positive - you have all written so much, an I am really thankful - to you all. 

There has been some *really* useful tips and advice offered, all of which I will listen too, and taken for the advice. 

I have decided because of all your inspiration to keep her - (to be honest, I think that I could have put her in the basket, and in the car, maybe even drove to the re-homing centre.. but I don't think I would have had the heart to take her in!) But your messages certainly weren't in vain. 

I have ordered a few extra litterboxes (one in my bedroom), I have taken her out for a walk - to "mark" her territory, on a pink lead (much to my neighbours amusement), I have ordered a couple of cat toys, some kitty nail trimmers, a device that scares off other cats by spraying a mist, some of that herb stuff for the litter tray, and an extra cat scratch post. As for the Feliway, I did try that, 3 x for 2 months but it didnt really seem to make a difference. - I just let it run its course and seen as it was fairly expensive, I didnt buy an extra bottle.

RedTopRescue - what you wrote in your last sentence in your last message really made me smile.

P.S. .... THESE are awesome!... ordered!....... 
Thank you all once again. "Happy catting!"

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I am so happy you have decided to give it another try.  You and your cat will love the da Bird toy.  My cats go crazy for it.  You can even buy other attachments for it. 

Keep us posted and if you need any more help let us know!!

We are all so glad you are working it out.  Please let us know how it's going from time to time, and do ask any other questions you may have.  There are year and years of cat experience here just for the asking!  (And I'm glad my last sentence made you smile.)

mikes14uk said:

 
P.s. I have actually (somehow) overlooked the brushing idea - thank you for that. I've just been stroking her gently on her head, and stopping just before she starts to tail twitch. 


I'm going on amazon right now to see what they have!

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@Three cat night    Brushing is a good idea.  One of the cats I took in over a year ago still won't let me hold her for more than a second, and will probably never be a lap cat.  But she LOVES being brushed, and that brings her close enough so I can pet her head and sometimes even sneak in a nose kiss before she squirms away.  

Is dabird toy only on amazon or Petsmart too?

RacHelinaz,
I have never been able to find it @ Petsmart or Petco, At least in the past few years and I live in a populated area of SanDIego . Your best bet is from Amazon and it's less $ . Get the one that comes with 3 attachments on a single pole ( the original pole came in two sections and had to be superglued after a few cat attacks) it's totally worth it and you may need to put it away after playing , one of my cats took it behind the washing machine and pretty much ripped it to shreds. When they can't have it laying around all the time and( they get used to it) each time you get it out they are so excited. I get my cats leaping up in the air until they are panting and then everyone gets a good nights rest Hope yours love it too.
3cat

Three cat night said:

RacHelinaz,
I have never been able to find it @ Petsmart or Petco, At least in the past few years and I live in a populated area of SanDIego . Your best bet is from Amazon and it's less $ . Get the one that comes with 3 attachments on a single pole ( the original pole came in two sections and had to be superglued after a few cat attacks) it's totally worth it and you may need to put it away after playing , one of my cats took it behind the washing machine and pretty much ripped it to shreds. When they can't have it laying around all the time and( they get used to it) each time you get it out they are so excited. I get my cats leaping up in the air until they are panting and then everyone gets a good nights rest Hope yours love it too.
3cat

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I completely agree.  I have only seen it on Amazon and few other pet sites online.  I started with the 3 pack and have replaced the feathers often.  I also have what looks like a rabbits foot that one of my cats goes crazy for.  I also had a small mouse, but the cats preferred the feather or rabbits foot.  I too have to put mine away or it is torn to shreds in the morning. 

The Petco we do adoptions from carries it.  I've increased their sales as I recommend it with every adoption, so they keep them in stock now!  I also recommend the claw clippers they have in their BIRD section, as they seem better than any I've found in the cat section, and these are Petco's own brand!  As for a good place to store them especially if you have the single long pole version, I've found that the shoe bag on the inside of my closet door works wonders.  I have a carbinier hanging at the top, I push the top of the pole up through that and then put the bottom in one of the shoe pockets at the bottom and close the door.  That keeps it safe and out of the way and out of sight.

I am going to check ours. I remember everyone talking about a month or so plus ago and didn't really look into it.
I want to stock up on food and such and will look tomorrow. I think it would be good with one adult, three teenagers and Wally the kitten.

Red Top Rescue said:

The Petco we do adoptions from carries it.  I've increased their sales as I recommend it with every adoption, so they keep them in stock now!  I also recommend the claw clippers they have in their BIRD section, as they seem better than any I've found in the cat section, and these are Petco's own brand!  As for a good place to store them especially if you have the single long pole version, I've found that the shoe bag on the inside of my closet door works wonders.  I have a carbinier hanging at the top, I push the top of the pole up through that and then put the bottom in one of the shoe pockets at the bottom and close the door.  That keeps it safe and out of the way and out of sight.

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ShadowsRescue said:

I completely agree.  I have only seen it on Amazon and few other pet sites online.  I started with the 3 pack and have replaced the feathers often.  I also have what looks like a rabbits foot that one of my cats goes crazy for.  I also had a small mouse, but the cats preferred the feather or rabbits foot.  I too have to put mine away or it is torn to shreds in the morning. 

Click to expand...

Three cat night said:

RacHelinaz,
I have never been able to find it @ Petsmart or Petco, At least in the past few years and I live in a populated area of SanDIego . Your best bet is from Amazon and it's less $ . Get the one that comes with 3 attachments on a single pole ( the original pole came in two sections and had to be superglued after a few cat attacks) it's totally worth it and you may need to put it away after playing , one of my cats took it behind the washing machine and pretty much ripped it to shreds. When they can't have it laying around all the time and( they get used to it) each time you get it out they are so excited. I get my cats leaping up in the air until they are panting and then everyone gets a good nights rest Hope yours love it too.
3cat

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