Somethings gotta give ... PLEASE help!!

We have had Murphy and Winston since they were 12 weeks old (now 3.5 years) We've never had one problem with them. They are both placid loving cats. Winston is the most laid back gentle cat ever.

Fast forward to now. About 3/4 months ago we had a stray start coming round, he was very skinny .. I started feeding him .. after a few months we decided to bring him in the house. Took him to the vets, got him vaccinated, did introductions over a couple weeks from a shut room/baby gates .. there were hisses and growls, but nothing serious. The stray (Charlie ) has put on weight well, has a bit of a sensitive tummy, but is otherwise well.

Charlie and Murphy get on well. Murphy and Winston get on well, but Winston and Charloe .. its hell. Charlie is actively seeking Winston out to attack him. He will sit in hiding and launch attacks on him. You can see the look in his face .. like he's hunting. Winston has gone from this relaxed carefree friendly loving cat to a nervous wreak. He hides all the time, he's loosing weight from the stress of it. He has scratches on his face.
Murphy is like a little freaking cheerleader and is on whos ever side is winning.

The breaking point came this weekend when our 10 month old little girl was on the floor playing and a scrap broke out. She got scratched. I will not tolerate this. The house is a war zone. My child crawls and is on the floor. The cats NEVER bothered her before Charlie came in to the house. My husband is very angry about it and wants Charlie gone .. he says we owe Winston and Murphy some loyalty.

I'm starting to think his way .. I'm leaning to re-home Charlie if things don't get better. Before I get jumped on for saying that, come live a day in the house and see my child screaming on the floor with blood and scratches on her arm. When they go at it, they go at it hard and it could have been a lot worse. I will NOT tolerate my child being injured like this.

Re-homing is not something I want to do, so I'm asking for advice and help with this. Short of putting Charlie in his own room when I go out and at night time with the door shut so he can't target Winston when we're not looking, I don't know what to do. I know people here are against water squirter, but its the only way I can break them up after Charlie goes after Winston. I'm buggered if I'm putting my hand between them.

The thing is, it's like Charlie actually KNOWS what he's doing. I'll see him spot Winston, get that look in his eye (I can't explain it .. like a Lion sees pray??) and start stalking, and I'll tell him Don't you dare! and he'll run off.

I am truly at my wits end and I hate to say it but I'm starting to regret bringing him in to the house. Something has to give!!!!

Interesting ... I can understand your wanting to keep your child safe. I am so sorry she got hurt. I would feel the exact same way. Can't say I have much experience here except for Chickster getting introduced to Boo, Boo didn't care for her and Chickster caught on quick. They never had full on fights, though.

I'm sure other members can give some more insight than I can. I believe when you mean Charlie gets this look in his eye, his pupils dilate pretty large? I believe that's a pertty normal "hunting" response with all cats. It's also a warning sign, like when I'm holding Chickster and her pupils get big, I know I better put her down or my face is going to be sore.

I would say you shouldn't put your hand between them if a scrap breaks out, I've done that and the results hurt a lot. We have a large broom that is round and purple, we call it the "Purple hand" and when Chickster would do something like claw on the carpet steps in the house, Mom would say "I'm getting the Purple hand!!" And usually she would quit right then. All we had to do was bring it out and only show it to her, and she would stop the naughty behavior for a few days. But, some members here may not agree with scare tactics like that (We don't do it anymore, have no need either) She still does it though, so as far as water squirting, it probably wouldn't help. And even a Mom of a 10 year old doesn't have fifteen sets of eyes to keep everything in check, so you couldn't possibly keep an eye on them 24/7...

Sounds like Winston is seriously stressed out and that's not good... Perhaps there are a few more behavior things you could try..

You introduced them well, I guess Charlie just thinks he can pick on Winston, and Winston never fights back (A problem I had with a stray tom picking on Rocky, Rocky would roll over and submit after being chased)

Maybe Charlie is trying to change the pecking order in the house, possibly (Seen it at a friend's house who has 7 or 8 cats, all strays from outside) but would wonder how long a pecking order fight would go on.... but poor Winston. I hope someone can offer better advice.

Yep, sounds very much like Charlie is trying to prove he's top cat and is showing some dominance. Have you tried Feliway hun? I found it can really work wonders in situations like this. I do want to commend you on taking Charlie in and taking care of him, but if you exhaust all options, don't feel guilty if you have to rehome him. Some situations just won't work no matter how hard you try and there's nothing more you can do. Here's hoping it won't come to that though!

Originally Posted by Okuda

I'm starting to think his way .. I'm leaning to re-home Charlie if things don't get better. Before I get jumped on for saying that

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Why would anyone get on to you for that? You've done more for this cat than anyone living in that area did. You took him off the street and made him healthy. Lots of people do this and rehome cats. I'm sure if it comes to this that you'll do your best to find him a good home.

Sometimes this sort of thing does however take time for them to settle. I understand why waiting it out with a baby in the home that can get in harms way is not really possible to do. I hope your little girl is doing ok.


I have a couple that do not like each other, but luckily neither has any inclinations to be alpha cat. It gets a little better with time, but nothing will ever make them truly like each other. Maybe if I had an actual alpha cat in this house that would keep them all in line but not harass them it would solve the problem - I suspect that's the only thing that fixes it in many situations.

If I were you, I'd re-home Charlie. Your baby's safety is the most important thing, and it's not fair to your other cats to be constantly stressed like that. Charlie's lucky that you gave him a home for this time, and I'm sure he'd do fine in another home .

Good luck!

Thanks for your replies I don't think the pregnancy hormones are helping the situation very much lol. I feel really bad for Charlie. He acts like a little bugger and then comes up to me and is all sweet at licks me and it just makes me wanna cry for feeling like he should go.

However .. we came to a solution today ...

My best friends little girl is 11. My best mate and her husband just split up (in fact he moved out today) he wanted to get the little girl a cat. He had cats as kids and loves them, and I think would be company for him in the new place and the little girl LOVES Charlie. She sits and plays and talks to him for hours when she comes here and he sits and licks her and loves on her.

Well they went to a rescue to look at kittens and the woman never got back to them .. so today, I asked if they'd like Charlie .. this means hes still close and I get to make sure he's being looked after! I know she will look after him, and I just think he will be SO much happier as a single cat with human attention. I know people say cats should go in pairs, but I think sometimes some cats just aint got the personality for it. Her Dad does work all day, but in the day you don't see Charlie anyways, he sleeps on our bed all day! Comes down for food and a drink and goes back to bed lol. At night is his active time!

I'm happy about it but SO sad at the same time ... I feel like I failed him and am worried about up rooting him again...

I think it was a good call. I'm sure Charlie will be just fine, and it's great you can check on him.

I know how you feel re: Winston being constantly terrified. When we brought Scaredy in two years ago, Mickey was 4 and had always been happy and carefree. Scaredy was female, unspayed, and feral, and made Mickey's life miserable. I felt so bad that life had changed as he knew it. He began avoiding us (staying longer outside in the yard, not wanting to come in - he was terrified!).

Thankfully, spaying helped her calm down, and they all tolerate each other quite well now. Luckily, I didn't have to rehome her - but it did cross my mind...

I think that worked out perfectly too.