Appointment Coming Up

Alldara

TCS Member
Thread starter
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Apr 29, 2022
Messages
5,278
Purraise
8,908
Location
Canada
It's so surreal waiting on a count down appointment for a loved one, even a pet.

I've never had an appointment time so far out. Usually just within a day or two of my call. We made one 45 days in advance but now are less than 2 weeks out from it. I had a human family member have a doctor assisted death with a scheduled date, but it's so different being the one making the call.

Nobel's declined a bit in the days since his appointment. He's grumpier, even with pain meds but still enjoys some things. Either way I am not looking forward to the 18th.

Over the last year he's stopped doing many things though like coming to the porch for more than 5 minutes (enclosed), or pulling himself across the carpet to play, or scaling his assisted tower. I even had to bathe him once for becoming dirty.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

Alldara

TCS Member
Thread starter
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Apr 29, 2022
Messages
5,278
Purraise
8,908
Location
Canada
Oh, boy, I feel for you. It's tough enough making that decision, but to have to wait that long for it would be devastating. My heart goes out to you. :hugs:
Thanks ❣ It's getting harder as it gets closer to be honest. The reality sets in. I've had him since I was 16...that's a lot of big life changes now that I'm in my 30s.
 

mrsgreenjeens

Every Life Should Have Nine Cats
Staff Member
Advisor
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
16,390
Purraise
7,126
Location
Arizona
It's never easy, but waiting this long has got to be tough. Somehow I think it's almost easier when you get up one morning and realize "this is the day" and can take them in.

I'm so sorry. We'll be here for you today, tomorrow, and particularly on the 18th :hugs:
 

epona

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 24, 2006
Messages
4,663
Purraise
949
Location
London, England
It's horrible knowing that the time is coming - but honestly out of my 2 boys that I have had put to sleep, the one where I had an appointment in advance and spent some precious time with him doing palliative care was far far less traumatic than the one I had to do more or less right away after a shocking diagnosis.
I mean they were both really upsetting, but having some time to say goodbye even though the clock was ticking down was still better, at least for me.

Horrible situation to be in whatever the circumstances, much love to you and your darling Nobel.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

Alldara

TCS Member
Thread starter
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Apr 29, 2022
Messages
5,278
Purraise
8,908
Location
Canada
It's never easy, but waiting this long has got to be tough. Somehow I think it's almost easier when you get up one morning and realize "this is the day" and can take them in.

I'm so sorry. We'll be here for you today, tomorrow, and particularly on the 18th :hugs:
Thank you ❣ I appreciate it.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #7

Alldara

TCS Member
Thread starter
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Apr 29, 2022
Messages
5,278
Purraise
8,908
Location
Canada
It's horrible knowing that the time is coming - but honestly out of my 2 boys that I have had put to sleep, the one where I had an appointment in advance and spent some precious time with him doing palliative care was far far less traumatic than the one I had to do more or less right away after a shocking diagnosis.
I mean they were both really upsetting, but having some time to say goodbye even though the clock was ticking down was still better, at least for me.

Horrible situation to be in whatever the circumstances, much love to you and your darling Nobel.
Thank you. And you're right. Knowing that I am filling his last days with things he loves is very helpful.

They each had a Churu and a third tonight. So they are pretty pleased.
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,582
Purraise
22,955
Location
Nebraska, USA
I really think the anticipation of a dreaded event is harder then the reality. It's like waiting a week for test results from a Dr. The problem is we can never prepare our heart for the final day. No matter if we know exactly what is coming it is still a blow to the heart and soul.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. For him the pain of living will end and he will find peace knowing he will always have your love in his heart. For you the pain will overwhelm at first until time can help you find a new life's order. He will always be as close as your thought and prayers, he will always be connected to you through love. You will always feel a pang of loss when you think of him, but in time it will change into being thankful for having him share your life and to show you what love really is. Everything takes time, one day at a time........
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #13

Alldara

TCS Member
Thread starter
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Apr 29, 2022
Messages
5,278
Purraise
8,908
Location
Canada
I’m sorry this is happening. I went through something similar not long ago and I had a hard time with it in advance, and an even harder time after. Just try and take it one day at a time and keep making a big fuss over him.
We will keep making a fuss. Thanks 🥲
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #14

Alldara

TCS Member
Thread starter
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Apr 29, 2022
Messages
5,278
Purraise
8,908
Location
Canada
I really think the anticipation of a dreaded event is harder then the reality. It's like waiting a week for test results from a Dr. The problem is we can never prepare our heart for the final day. No matter if we know exactly what is coming it is still a blow to the heart and soul.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. For him the pain of living will end and he will find peace knowing he will always have your love in his heart. For you the pain will overwhelm at first until time can help you find a new life's order. He will always be as close as your thought and prayers, he will always be connected to you through love. You will always feel a pang of loss when you think of him, but in time it will change into being thankful for having him share your life and to show you what love really is. Everything takes time, one day at a time........
You're right. Thanks. We lost our other cat in 2020. We still miss her every day. Knowing that we can get through this is both a comfort and not a comfort if that makes any sense.

Our two new boys help us to cope, and will continue to I'm sure. I do worry for them as well.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #15

Alldara

TCS Member
Thread starter
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Apr 29, 2022
Messages
5,278
Purraise
8,908
Location
Canada
You have some time still. Try not to let your sorrow show as Nobel may sense it. We will be thinking of both of you.
Thank you. Yes. It's harder on the days like yesterday when I have to go in to the office 🥲
 

doomsdave

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
7,200
Purraise
9,813
Location
California
Thanks ❣ It's getting harder as it gets closer to be honest. The reality sets in. I've had him since I was 16...that's a lot of big life changes now that I'm in my 30s.
You're right. Thanks. We lost our other cat in 2020. We still miss her every day. Knowing that we can get through this is both a comfort and not a comfort if that makes any sense.

Our two new boys help us to cope, and will continue to I'm sure. I do worry for them as well.
So sad to hear. But, it appears that you and Nobel had a nice, long run together, the better part of 20 years, it sounds like. Also great to hear that you have new cats to fill in the gap. They need and appreciate the love and you'll need the love they give you.

I've seen the end of many kitties over the years. Some have gone peacefully, others not so much. I miss them all, but love the ones I've still got all the more.

Hope you feel at least a bit better soon. Do let us know how you are, good or otherwise.
 
Last edited:

Gizmobius

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Dec 4, 2016
Messages
450
Purraise
695
I empathize with you completely. I always find, for me, that I grieve so much harder in the lead up than I do in the aftermath, though that's not to say that the aftermath isn't full of a different kind of grief because it absolutely is. Knowing that they're here right now and that soon they won't be is hard to process. Enjoy every moment you possibly can and I'm wishing you all the best (or as much best as you can manage.) 💙
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #18

Alldara

TCS Member
Thread starter
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Apr 29, 2022
Messages
5,278
Purraise
8,908
Location
Canada
So sad to hear. But, it appears that you and Nobel had a nice, long run together, the better part of 20 years, it sounds like. Also great to hear that you have new cats to fill in the gap. They need and appreciate the love and you'll need the love they give you.

I've seen the end of many kitties over the years. Some have gone peacefully, others not so much. I miss them all, but love the ones I've still got all the more.

Hope you feel at least a bit better soon. Do let us know how you are, good or otherwise.
We've had a good run. Our old man has been through a lot with us, especially me.

It's up and down just now. More up on the days I'm home and can pet him and such as much as we'd both like. Tomorrow will be harder as I can't work from home.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #19

Alldara

TCS Member
Thread starter
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Apr 29, 2022
Messages
5,278
Purraise
8,908
Location
Canada
I empathize with you completely. I always find, for me, that I grieve so much harder in the lead up than I do in the aftermath, though that's not to say that the aftermath isn't full of a different kind of grief because it absolutely is. Knowing that they're here right now and that soon they won't be is hard to process. Enjoy every moment you possibly can and I'm wishing you all the best (or as much best as you can manage.) 💙
Thank you. I feel as if I grieve more after usually...but this is not a situation I've been in before. I always say if love was enough, he'd love healthily forever. ❣
 

r-kins

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 31, 2016
Messages
238
Purraise
192
It sounds like you've thought this over very carefully, and at times like this, that's what you have to hold onto. What you're doing is what's best for him, and that's going to be the final act of love.

Hug him extra every day, spoil him, and treat yourself as kindly as possible. You deserve as much love and consideration as you give him. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I can't imagine the agony of the countdown.
 
Top