Advice on a 10+ year old feral kitty currently in my spare bedroom

Clocat

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I posted about this over in Jcatbird's ferals and rescued thread, and so as not to highjack that thread I'm creating my own. I was wondering if it was worth it to try to socialize an old, possibly even elderly feral?

We've been feeding her for around 10 years, and she was an adult when we started feeding her. She would let us get to within a foot or two of her when feeding, but was always SUPER wary and we never attempted to pet her.

We caught her on Friday of last week and had a vet see her for what turned out to be a nasty ear infection. I've been thinking for years that I'd like to try moving her inside or see if she could be an indoor/outdoor kitty. It's really cold here in the winter and she won't use any shelters I put out for her.

At any rate, she's been in a spare bedroom since Friday. As with all things, the internet is full of wildly conflicting advice. I fluctuate between thinking I can surely socialize her and feeling like a monster for keeping her cooped up in a room.

She will eat, sleep and use the bathroom in my presence, but has no interest in approaching me or interacting with me. I'm of course following advice on socializing her slowly.

I'm wondering if this means anything, or if this is just anthropomorphizing: since Friday, we've left a window in her room open wide enough for her to get out, for about an hour each day. It's really cold out and probably drafty on the floor where she's been hanging out, so I close it after that. The first few times, I opened a window over a desk at the opposite side of the small room she's in--yesterday, I opened the window next to the bed, on the same wall she's been hiding against (she has also sometimes been up on the nightstand looking out this window when I come in). She didn't leave any of these times, obviously, or I wouldn't be asking this question! I have a camera in the room, and she did not go up to the window to investigate.

So, my question is--does this mean she's too oblivious or scared to investigate? Or that she doesn't want to leave? I realize that no one here can truly answer that question, but I'm somewhat desperate for advice on the right thing to do for her. She's a super wily, savvy cat--I can't imagine she wouldn't smell the fresh air and at least check it out to see if it offered an escape. A complicating factor is that on a couple of other occasions I cracked the window or kept the screen down so she couldn't escape those times if she wanted to.

It's impossible to know what she's thinking--does she feel trapped and depressed? Does she realize it's cold out and is grateful to be inside?

I guess the way to find out for certain would be to leave the window open all night, but aside from the safety implications and the cold, I really don't want her to leave!

Ultimately, I'd be happy with having her as a standoffish member of the household--just give her a warm place to sleep. I'd be ok with her coming and going if she likes. She's clearly smart enough to have survived outside for this long. We have two other cats, both around 4-6 years old. One of them is a stray that our neighbor abandoned, and we took in. We believe he and the feral kitty are friends, as they would sometimes sit or lie in the yard close to each other in a relaxed way before we took him in.

Thanks for reading, and any advice would be gratefully received.

Picture of the kitty below, from when she was at the vet Friday.
tempFileForShare_20221112-124635 (1).jpg
 

pearl99

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I only have experience with one semi-feral to feral kitty that I adopted from a shelter (Waffles in my signature) but I'd say things are going well in the spare bedroom! I also read your post on the Jcatbird Jcatbird thread. Waffles is totally content and seems grateful to be inside. I've had him for 6 years, can't pick him up but he has become a snuggly lap cat. Adopted at 2 years old.
I also think that the fact she eats, sleeps, and used the litterbox in your presence is a very good thing! And she's not leaving when the window is open.
Who knows if she will become a lap kitty or be petted. But, I think she sure is happy being inside. Maybe she senses that her friend from outside that you have is in the house?
I think she would be totally happy being indoor only. Jcatbird Jcatbird is a prime example! A thread titled "Feral in my garage" here is another feral story where he is happy living in a shed.
Feral in my garage
 
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Clocat

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I only have experience with one semi-feral to feral kitty that I adopted from a shelter (Waffles in my signature) but I'd say things are going well in the spare bedroom! I also read your post on the Jcatbird Jcatbird thread. Waffles is totally content and seems grateful to be inside. I've had him for 6 years, can't pick him up but he has become a snuggly lap cat. Adopted at 2 years old.
I also think that the fact she eats, sleeps, and used the litterbox in your presence is a very good thing! And she's not leaving when the window is open.
Who knows if she will become a lap kitty or be petted. But, I think she sure is happy being inside. Maybe she senses that her friend from outside that you have is in the house?
I think she would be totally happy being indoor only. Jcatbird Jcatbird is a prime example! A thread titled "Feral in my garage" here is another feral story where he is happy living in a shed.
Feral in my garage
Thank you! Waffles is a cutie. I will definitely check out the "feral in my garage" thread.

I struggle with this because the vast majority of info I can find says that it's cruel to try to socialize any feral cat older than a very young kitten. But then I've read stories here and a couple of other places that directly contradict that. I don't know what to believe, but I want what's best for this kitty, either way.
 

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since Friday, we've left a window in her room open wide enough for her to get out, for about an hour each day.
I absolutely wouldn't do this, at least not without screens. If she decides to go, the likelihood for any reason that she doesn't or can't come back is far too great.

I agree, I think she's doing fantastically!

does she feel trapped and depressed? Does she realize it's cold out and is grateful to be inside?
Nearly every thread I've read about cats being brought in indicates that there was a huge appreciation for being inside :)
 

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I have 7 cats living inside with me right now. Of the 7, 5 were former feral cats and 1 was a stray. They are all living inside my house now after many years of living outside on my deck in shelters. Each cat had their own time line of how they adjusted and socialized. The best advice I can give is to allow the process to unfold at "cat time" instead of "human time". As humans we tend to rush through the process as we want the end result right away. Slow and steady is your best bet.

First off, please close the window. She is inside now and safe. The first weeks are the hardest and then things get easier and you will see the joy! I do hope you don't let her get outside.

A few suggestions:
1.Spend time in the room with her. Sit and talk aloud to her. Keep your gaze above her head or below her head; no direct eye contact as that is threatening to a cat.
2. Try a Feliway diffuser. They really can help. Also try quiet music. I have used some relaxing cat music from Amazon music (it's free) and also hard music for cats.
3. Don't rush petting. Allow her to adjust to inside living first. I used to enter the room, shake a bag of something extra yummy. I often would use some plain cooked chicken. I shake the bag, enter, say hello and then sit down to toss a small piece near the cat. At first she may not take it. If she does, toss another. After a few , toss the chicken a bit closer to you. Find her challenge line. I then would stay 10 minutes or so and leave. Before I left, I was sure to leave a piece or two of the chicken.
4. Catnip is another thing that some cats really fine comforting. It might be worth a try.
5. Visit often, but for short visits at first.
6. I invested in cheap wireless ip cameras to keep an eye on my cats when they first came inside. That way you can see what happens at night (usually when they are most interested).
7. Have a cubby for them to feel safe inside. A cat tree near a securely closed window is another option. Many like to look outside and see the wildlife.
8. Take things slowly. The first feral I brought inside, took one solid year before he was comfortable. I could pet him within a few months, but I could not handle him at all. After a year he was very settled and so happy. Had I rushed the process, it could have backfired or led to the process taking even longer.


We are all her to help!
 
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Clocat

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I have 7 cats living inside with me right now. Of the 7, 5 were former feral cats and 1 was a stray. They are all living inside my house now after many years of living outside on my deck in shelters. Each cat had their own time line of how they adjusted and socialized. The best advice I can give is to allow the process to unfold at "cat time" instead of "human time". As humans we tend to rush through the process as we want the end result right away. Slow and steady is your best bet.

First off, please close the window. She is inside now and safe. The first weeks are the hardest and then things get easier and you will see the joy! I do hope you don't let her get outside.

A few suggestions:
1.Spend time in the room with her. Sit and talk aloud to her. Keep your gaze above her head or below her head; no direct eye contact as that is threatening to a cat.
2. Try a Feliway diffuser. They really can help. Also try quiet music. I have used some relaxing cat music from Amazon music (it's free) and also hard music for cats.
3. Don't rush petting. Allow her to adjust to inside living first. I used to enter the room, shake a bag of something extra yummy. I often would use some plain cooked chicken. I shake the bag, enter, say hello and then sit down to toss a small piece near the cat. At first she may not take it. If she does, toss another. After a few , toss the chicken a bit closer to you. Find her challenge line. I then would stay 10 minutes or so and leave. Before I left, I was sure to leave a piece or two of the chicken.
4. Catnip is another thing that some cats really fine comforting. It might be worth a try.
5. Visit often, but for short visits at first.
6. I invested in cheap wireless ip cameras to keep an eye on my cats when they first came inside. That way you can see what happens at night (usually when they are most interested).
7. Have a cubby for them to feel safe inside. A cat tree near a securely closed window is another option. Many like to look outside and see the wildlife.
8. Take things slowly. The first feral I brought inside, took one solid year before he was comfortable. I could pet him within a few months, but I could not handle him at all. After a year he was very settled and so happy. Had I rushed the process, it could have backfired or led to the process taking even longer.


We are all her to help!
This is helpful! Thanks!
 

Margot Lane

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…if you go back and read a thread called “meet buggy,” (which I ate up with a spoon) I think it will provide you with great hope. Just all the patience, time, trust and, eventually, love involved in that (and in all) feral sagas. You’ve got great advice here, but just remember it takes awhile, lots of conversation, music, get down on their level. Let us know how it goes. Yes, I think you can do it!
 

Whenallhellbreakslose

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:hellosmiley::thanks:@Clocat. First off TY for taking interest in this HLA by taking her in and taking her to the vet. I see you got so very good advise here and also on Jcstbird's thread.I especially like the advise shadowsrescue shadowsrescue gave.

Please know that HLA made it to a great age as a feral. Feral kitties with little to no intervention only live for to 2 to 5 years. If they are from a managed colony or are well taken care of outside a colony, and if they receive regular feedings & have emergency winter shelters provided- they can live much longer than that short lifespan previously mentioned. Also, receiving vet care and treatment can add years to their life.

HLA is not a young cat and it is even a harder struggle for her to get through the winter monthes. I believe from what you mentioned here she wants to be ins7de and be-safe and warm. So, please keep her in. It will take time, and you need to be on her terms, but she can come around. When you are in the room with her sit or kneel on the floor (not too close though) and praise her and speak to her. If she looks comfortable, you could maybe play with a long feather wand. However I find that very few older cats whether feral or not are playful. So don't be suprised if she is not playful. Outside, she had to be on guard being expose to all the usual dangers (Dogs, predators, other cats, mean people, cars etc) Ferals are most active at night because they are trying to stay safe from dangers. So HLA may be more active at night, don't be surprised by that.

If she is eating, drinking and doing her business in front of you, she has some trust in you already. Also she is probably feeling a bit better having her ear infection treated which would have been causing her pain outside in the cold weather. Also, the fact she won't go in emergency shelters outside, leaves you with no other choice to take her in. This is the right thing to do considering her age, the ear infection, and her lack of interest in emergenxy shelters or maybe she is afraid she will get trapped in there with a predator trying to get to get to her. Some cats just want to be out in the open so that they can see and flee from danger quickly enough.

I believe in three categories for out door cats strays ( lost or abandoned pets), Semi-feral, and true feral. I consider HLA a semi-feral. She has had some positive encounters with humans (you) but still does not fully trust. An abandoned or lost cat overtime can turn into a semi-feral. A true feral is a cat who just wants to be feed and has no interest in humans outside of that. They do not trust humans cause they were raised either by a feral mom or they had very limited encounter with humans. A true feral is very hard to socialize. Some people tried socializing for years with very limited progress. However, a Semi-feral is different and while it takes time-they do eventual come around-as try to meet them on their terms and din't push anything on them or try to rush the socialization process. I have taking semi-ferals in and tell you it can be done, so don't lose hope.

I leave you with this article and tell you to be patient and don't lose hope.5 Ways to Help a Semi-Feral Cat Adjust to a Domestic Home - Modern Cat HLA already has some trust in you with feeding her all these years and she felt comfortable to eat and do other things in front of you. So that is a good start right there. Just keep expanding upon that. She will come around. I wish you all the best. 🙂
 
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Clocat

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What is her name? She's very pretty.
Thank you! This is so silly, but all these years we've called her "HLA." When we first noticed her hanging around, she looked so much like our cat Hank, and we started referring to her as the "Hank Lookalike," then "HLA." I can't imagine her anything else, even though it's a ridiculous name for a cat.
 
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Clocat

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…if you go back and read a thread called “meet buggy,” (which I ate up with a spoon) I think it will provide you with great hope. Just all the patience, time, trust and, eventually, love involved in that (and in all) feral sagas. You’ve got great advice here, but just remember it takes awhile, lots of conversation, music, get down on their level. Let us know how it goes. Yes, I think you can do it!
Thank you! I will check out that thread. I really hope this works!
 
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Clocat

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:hellosmiley::thanks:@Clocat. First off TY for taking interest in this HLA by taking her in and taking her to the vet. I see you got so very good advise here and also on Jcstbird's thread.I especially like the advise shadowsrescue shadowsrescue gave.

Please know that HLA made it to a great age as a feral. Feral kitties with little to no intervention only live for to 2 to 5 years. If they are from a managed colony or are well taken care of outside a colony, and if they receive regular feedings & have emergency winter shelters provided- they can live much longer than that short lifespan previously mentioned. Also, receiving vet care and treatment can add years to their life.

HLA is not a young cat and it is even a harder struggle for her to get through the winter monthes. I believe from what you mentioned here she wants to be ins7de and be-safe and warm. So, please keep her in. It will take time, and you need to be on her terms, but she can come around. When you are in the room with her sit or kneel on the floor (not too close though) and praise her and speak to her. If she looks comfortable, you could maybe play with a long feather wand. However I find that very few older cats whether feral or not are playful. So don't be suprised if she is not playful. Outside, she had to be on guard being expose to all the usual dangers (Dogs, predators, other cats, mean people, cars etc) Ferals are most active at night because they are trying to stay safe from dangers. So HLA may be more active at night, don't be surprised by that.

If she is eating, drinking and doing her business in front of you, she has some trust in you already. Also she is probably feeling a bit better having her ear infection treated which would have been causing her pain outside in the cold weather. Also, the fact she won't go in emergency shelters outside, leaves you with no other choice to take her in. This is the right thing to do considering her age, the ear infection, and her lack of interest in emergenxy shelters or maybe she is afraid she will get trapped in there with a predator trying to get to get to her. Some cats just want to be out in the open so that they can see and flee from danger quickly enough.

I believe in three categories for out door cats strays ( lost or abandoned pets), Semi-feral, and true feral. I consider HLA a semi-feral. She has had some positive encounters with humans (you) but still does not fully trust. An abandoned or lost cat overtime can turn into a semi-feral. A true feral is a cat who just wants to be feed and has no interest in humans outside of that. They do not trust humans cause they were raised either by a feral mom or they had very limited encounter with humans. A true feral is very hard to socialize. Some people tried socializing for years with very limited progress. However, a Semi-feral is different and while it takes time-they do eventual come around-as try to meet them on their terms and din't push anything on them or try to rush the socialization process. I have taking semi-ferals in and tell you it can be done, so don't lose hope.

I leave you with this article and tell you to be patient and don't lose hope.5 Ways to Help a Semi-Feral Cat Adjust to a Domestic Home - Modern Cat HLA already has some trust in you with feeding her all these years and she felt comfortable to eat and do other things in front of you. So that is a good start right there. Just keep expanding upon that. She will come around. I wish you all the best. 🙂
Thank you for this response and the article! We first really started noticing her all those years ago because we noticed she was sleeping curled up on a bale of straw we'd left outside, in freezing cold weather. I tried constructing various shelters for her over the years. I remember one particularly heartbreaking moment when I realized she was spending the night in a cardboard box with straw I'd put together for her (this was before I had much knowledge of how to build a shelter). Our neighborhood is absolutely crawling with cats, particularly indoor-outdoor cats who have a home, but who bully and chase her, so she stopped sleeping anywhere near our house. She must have a shelter she would go to somewhere else.

I truly hope that her basic trust in us means that she can adjust.
 

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She sounds semi-feral to me, too.

Adult ferals and abandoned cats that my mom and I taken in over decades seem to have little interest in being outdoors once the weather turns cold. (Minnesota). My vet says that's very common. The cats know they have a good deal inside a heated space.

I've tamed an adult feral and an adult semi feral who was pretty difficult. Feral kittens. Then I've had half tame farm cats show up too, with problems. They all turn out to be great pets for me, so far.

I'm glad you've taken her in!!
 

pearl99

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Thank you! Waffles is a cutie. I will definitely check out the "feral in my garage" thread.

I struggle with this because the vast majority of info I can find says that it's cruel to try to socialize any feral cat older than a very young kitten. But then I've read stories here and a couple of other places that directly contradict that. I don't know what to believe, but I want what's best for this kitty, either way.
It may be that she won't totally warm up, and may stay skittish- but in my mind it's the choice of being outside in all weather, always the possibility of predators, having untreated illnesses or infections like her ear, or parasites/fleas/ticks, getting into some rodent poison someone has set out, bullied by other cats- as opposed to life inside and being fed, loved, and warm. She's not begging to get outside.
It does sound like she likely has had contact with other humans. That was what I most thought about Waffles. It is always tough getting him to the vet and sometimes I've cried trying to get him into the crate to go. But he forgives me after several hours.
Articles are articles, then there's real life experience.
 

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She's lovely! All the advice that I was thinking about as I found this thread (spotted you on Jcatbird Jcatbird 's thread) has been given. So I will simply say...three things are most important. Time, patience, and letting go of expectations. She will do things on her own time, and rushing her will only set her back. Sitting on the floor and talking quietly, without making eye contact) is always good. As for expectations, you may or may not ever have a snuggly, cuddly little kitty, but what you will have is a cat who knows that life has just become easier than she had ever dared to dream. So you may end up with a more aloof cat, but one that is happy to be in the same room with you. Just be prepared to take her as you find her, day by day.
 

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As I posted in Jcatbird Jcatbird 's thread, thank you so much for feeding beautiful HLA all these years. And thanks for bringing her inside.
:hearthrob: :petcat:

She really sounds like she's content in her room. I've read of ferals that literally destroy window blinds or try to climb walls in an attempt to escape. So HLA not bothering to even go near the open window makes me think she wants to stay right where she is. She's probably silently thinking "please don't put me back outside".

Although I suspect before long she'll be interacting with you, there is the possibility that she'll just want to live a private life in her own room. That's basically what the cat pearl99 pearl99 mentioned is doing, except Oscar is living in a catified shed. You can read about him on his on his own thread. It's very long, and starts back before he and his rescuer moved to a new area. Here's the link to the post where his new life at the new house starts. Feral in my garage

Good luck with HLA. Keep us posted on how she's doing.
 
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Thank you all for your additional advice and support. I plan to read through the linked threads this weekend when I have a little more time.

I do have a question: in the first couple of days we had her, she ate ravenously. We joked about her (a tiny cat) emerging from under the bed after after a few weeks as this enormous beast. However, those days are gone. She's still eating, but it's more like occasional nibbling.

For instance, she ate maybe 1/2 can of Fancy Feast last night at around 10. Then maybe an additional 1/4 can overnight. She hasn't eaten anything yet today. I'm worried this is a sign of depression. I've been feeding her FF because that's what she ate outside, along with various treats, baked chicken, tuna.

Additionally, she did not come out of her safe space last night to sit on the nightstand and look out the window.

I'm lucky to be at home today, and was hoping to get into a pattern where I feed her when she's hungry and she eats with me in the room.

I've come across a few threads where the ferals quit eating and that seems like it's a pretty final sign that they need to go back out. :(

And I should add that I don't want to do too overboard with the treats and give her an upset stomach. She did have some diarrhea the first couple of days she was inside.
 

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though that has slowed as well.
It makes things challenging, not knowing what her "normal" is. Now that I think about it, SHE probably doesn't know what her normal is.

But maybe do give her another day or so, to continue to settle and learn about her new environment.
 
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