Help/Advice for introductions

[calicosrspecial]

Hello! Nothing really to update unfortunately.

Sapphire has once again become inconsistent over the weekend. For the most part she has just stayed upstairs in her bed and not come downstairs until after Fluffy has gone to bed. On Saturday night she was up on the window perch again but this time didn't seem too comfortable when Fluffy was out eating and I was sitting with her (there was some irritated meowing and paw raising if I got too close to her). As soon as Fluffy wasn't paying attention she took the opportunity to run upstairs.

She has also briefly been coming to the stairs sometimes in the mornings but she only makes it about half way down and then just sits and stares while Fluffy either watches her or is busy trying to get passed me to run up the stairs towards her.

I have tried to get her to come closer with her favorite treats but she really doesn't seem interested in them until Fluffy isn't paying attention. I brought him upstairs tonight and she completely ignored the treats and was acting very timid. She was perfectly fine downstairs as soon as I put Fluffy in his room.

I believe I'm starting to be hard on myself once again, mainly because I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or not enough of something, and also for the fact that even though I know there's not much I can do, not knowing what to do in the times when they are both together while avoiding a fight. I don't want Fluffy to get close and get in a fight with her where they are all tangled up and rolling around, but I'm having trouble imagining a time when they can be in the same room and doing their own thing without Fluffy being super fixated on her.

Another small bit of information, but lately, Sapphire has been going right up to Fluffy's door after he's gone to bed at some point and she hisses at the door and then starts whacking it, even if he's already asleep.

"Hello! Nothing really to update unfortunately." - Ok, as long as there isn't a negative that is good.

"Sapphire has once again become inconsistent over the weekend." - Hmmmmm, ok

" For the most part she has just stayed upstairs in her bed and not come downstairs until after Fluffy has gone to bed." - Ok. Is she acting normal when she is upstairs during that?

" On Saturday night she was up on the window perch again but this time didn't seem too comfortable when Fluffy was out eating and I was sitting with her (there was some irritated meowing and paw raising if I got too close to her)." - Ok, as long as nothing negative happened though it is fine.

" As soon as Fluffy wasn't paying attention she took the opportunity to run upstairs." - Ok

"She has also briefly been coming to the stairs sometimes in the mornings but she only makes it about half way down and then just sits and stares while Fluffy either watches her or is busy trying to get passed me to run up the stairs towards her." - Ok, that is great.

"I have tried to get her to come closer with her favorite treats but she really doesn't seem interested in them until Fluffy isn't paying attention." - Ok. Just don't force it, just act aloof. Act like everything is just fine.

" I brought him upstairs tonight and she completely ignored the treats and was acting very timid." - Ok. Odd. How were you feeling? Were you anxious? Different?

"She was perfectly fine downstairs as soon as I put Fluffy in his room." - Great

"I believe I'm starting to be hard on myself once again, " - Oh, ok.

"mainly because I don't know if I'm doing something wrong" - You are definitely not doing anything wrong.

" or not enough of something," - You are doing and have done everything you can.

" and also for the fact that even though I know there's not much I can do, " - Yes, agreed, there is not much more you can do. I guess the one thing I would do is just act like all is well. Be aloof as much as possible. If she doesn't want to come down "whatever". If she doesn't want the treat "oh well". Kinda tough love. I am trying to figure out how to get her to say "ok, enough, I am not going to be afraid anymore".

"not knowing what to do in the times when they are both together" - Just take your focus mostly on something else. Read, or sit there with one of them. Keep an eye on him but try to find that balance of being aloof as well.

" while avoiding a fight." - Yes but I am not sure a real fight will happen. A tussle might but I just don't see him wanting to fight her, eliminate her, etc.

" I don't want Fluffy to get close and get in a fight with her where they are all tangled up and rolling around," - Yes but again there is only so much you can do. She needs to step up.

" but I'm having trouble imagining a time when they can be in the same room and doing their own thing without Fluffy being super fixated on her." - They will. When I am not sure but I do know they are closer to that today then at any other point in time. They may not cuddle together but they will definitely live together in (mostly) peace. In a lot of households there are always dustups etc well after they are intro'd successfully. It is how they get over it that is important. I don't see either wanting to hurt the other. I think Sapphire is starting to trust that as well.

"Another small bit of information, but lately, Sapphire has been going right up to Fluffy's door after he's gone to bed at some point and she hisses at the door and then starts whacking it, even if he's already asleep. " - Hahahaha. Well, I would guess she is trying to teach him "manners" but not confident enough to do it to his face without a barrier. I am sure Fluffy thinks "what is up with her?????".

Well, this isn't perfect BUT it sounds fine to me. She is still trying to get over her "issues", he seems to be doing well (with your help). I would like to see you get more aloof if possible, go about your business more if possible. Since it does sound like everything is ok at the worst I think you have some leeway. If she is downstairs get him to go upstairs with you and hang out. And we'll see what she does. If she is upstairs go upstairs with him but in a room rather than outside her hall. Things like that.

But I think she is on the path, it is winding and slower than we would like but I still think the progress is there. She shows some signs of wanting to play with him though not always so I think at some point we might be surprised.

Hang in there, I know you are exhausted so focus a bit more on yourself and find more enjoyment in them.

 

[Graham18]

"Hello! Nothing really to update unfortunately." - Ok, as long as there isn't a negative that is good.

"Sapphire has once again become inconsistent over the weekend." - Hmmmmm, ok

" For the most part she has just stayed upstairs in her bed and not come downstairs until after Fluffy has gone to bed." - Ok. Is she acting normal when she is upstairs during that?

" On Saturday night she was up on the window perch again but this time didn't seem too comfortable when Fluffy was out eating and I was sitting with her (there was some irritated meowing and paw raising if I got too close to her)." - Ok, as long as nothing negative happened though it is fine.

" As soon as Fluffy wasn't paying attention she took the opportunity to run upstairs." - Ok

"She has also briefly been coming to the stairs sometimes in the mornings but she only makes it about half way down and then just sits and stares while Fluffy either watches her or is busy trying to get passed me to run up the stairs towards her." - Ok, that is great.

"I have tried to get her to come closer with her favorite treats but she really doesn't seem interested in them until Fluffy isn't paying attention." - Ok. Just don't force it, just act aloof. Act like everything is just fine.

" I brought him upstairs tonight and she completely ignored the treats and was acting very timid." - Ok. Odd. How were you feeling? Were you anxious? Different?

"She was perfectly fine downstairs as soon as I put Fluffy in his room." - Great

"I believe I'm starting to be hard on myself once again, " - Oh, ok.

"mainly because I don't know if I'm doing something wrong" - You are definitely not doing anything wrong.

" or not enough of something," - You are doing and have done everything you can.

" and also for the fact that even though I know there's not much I can do, " - Yes, agreed, there is not much more you can do. I guess the one thing I would do is just act like all is well. Be aloof as much as possible. If she doesn't want to come down "whatever". If she doesn't want the treat "oh well". Kinda tough love. I am trying to figure out how to get her to say "ok, enough, I am not going to be afraid anymore".

"not knowing what to do in the times when they are both together" - Just take your focus mostly on something else. Read, or sit there with one of them. Keep an eye on him but try to find that balance of being aloof as well.

" while avoiding a fight." - Yes but I am not sure a real fight will happen. A tussle might but I just don't see him wanting to fight her, eliminate her, etc.

" I don't want Fluffy to get close and get in a fight with her where they are all tangled up and rolling around," - Yes but again there is only so much you can do. She needs to step up.

" but I'm having trouble imagining a time when they can be in the same room and doing their own thing without Fluffy being super fixated on her." - They will. When I am not sure but I do know they are closer to that today then at any other point in time. They may not cuddle together but they will definitely live together in (mostly) peace. In a lot of households there are always dustups etc well after they are intro'd successfully. It is how they get over it that is important. I don't see either wanting to hurt the other. I think Sapphire is starting to trust that as well.

"Another small bit of information, but lately, Sapphire has been going right up to Fluffy's door after he's gone to bed at some point and she hisses at the door and then starts whacking it, even if he's already asleep. " - Hahahaha. Well, I would guess she is trying to teach him "manners" but not confident enough to do it to his face without a barrier. I am sure Fluffy thinks "what is up with her?????".

Well, this isn't perfect BUT it sounds fine to me. She is still trying to get over her "issues", he seems to be doing well (with your help). I would like to see you get more aloof if possible, go about your business more if possible. Since it does sound like everything is ok at the worst I think you have some leeway. If she is downstairs get him to go upstairs with you and hang out. And we'll see what she does. If she is upstairs go upstairs with him but in a room rather than outside her hall. Things like that.

But I think she is on the path, it is winding and slower than we would like but I still think the progress is there. She shows some signs of wanting to play with him though not always so I think at some point we might be surprised.

Hang in there, I know you are exhausted so focus a bit more on yourself and find more enjoyment in them.

So sorry for the late response. I've been busy at work with executives visiting from Toronto this week and haven't had much time to do much of anything.

Now to answer your questions
From what I see, Sapphire acts pretty normal while she's upstairs. I'd say she spends most of the time just laying in her bed or on a pillow relaxing. Sometimes when I bring him upstairs she'll sit far back in the room but minimal hiding.

I do think I've been feeling a bit more anxious lately. When Sapphire is downstairs already I get nervous about potential negatives and when she stays upstairs I get anxious that she is afraid of him. Being overworked and extremely tired isn't helping that I'm sure.

I'm still trying to act more aloof. When Fluffy is out and Sapphire is upstairs I will sit on the couch and just do my thing. If I notice him going towards the stairs or I notice Sapphire come down I'll get up to make sure he doesn't try pulling a fast one.

So far this week we've had a mixture of what they do. Yesterday evening Sapphire was laying on the dining room chair for quite awhile while Fluffy was out. I tried to get him to come and relax on the window perch with very little luck. He was really fixated on going to visit his sister so I just did my best to keep him occupied with treats and pets while also giving Sapphire treats and some pets if she'd allow it. After about 15 minutes she went upstairs and Fluffy went to the perch.

Tonight, she had gotten a bit scared when I was in my room playing with Fluffy and he saw her and tried to push the gate open which made her go back to her room and up into her bed. Shortly before Fluffy's bedtime as I was typing this out on the couch, she did come almost all the way down the stairs for a visit. Fluffy saw her and jumped off the perch to the ground, but I calmly got up and gave them some treats together before putting Fluffy to bed.

I do think that the slight change in routine on the weekends probably affects Sapphire somewhat as she may not be sleeping as much during the day when someone is at home compared to during the week. Then of course, because I'm not seeing any progress, I'm getting stressed which means I'm going into a new week feeling stressed about it. It's something I will try and work on.

It might sound silly, but I think that sometimes Fluffy's meowing may annoy her or bother her, however I don't really know if that is even a thing. She seems a bit more anxious when he is meowing behind a door or in sight. It also seems more likely that she'll come downstairs when he is quiet. I believe I've mentioned before that Fluffy is an EXTREMELY talkative cat and pretty much never stops meowing and he is also quite loud.

 

[calicosrspecial]

So sorry for the late response. I've been busy at work with executives visiting from Toronto this week and haven't had much time to do much of anything.

Now to answer your questions
From what I see, Sapphire acts pretty normal while she's upstairs. I'd say she spends most of the time just laying in her bed or on a pillow relaxing. Sometimes when I bring him upstairs she'll sit far back in the room but minimal hiding.

I do think I've been feeling a bit more anxious lately. When Sapphire is downstairs already I get nervous about potential negatives and when she stays upstairs I get anxious that she is afraid of him. Being overworked and extremely tired isn't helping that I'm sure.

I'm still trying to act more aloof. When Fluffy is out and Sapphire is upstairs I will sit on the couch and just do my thing. If I notice him going towards the stairs or I notice Sapphire come down I'll get up to make sure he doesn't try pulling a fast one.

So far this week we've had a mixture of what they do. Yesterday evening Sapphire was laying on the dining room chair for quite awhile while Fluffy was out. I tried to get him to come and relax on the window perch with very little luck. He was really fixated on going to visit his sister so I just did my best to keep him occupied with treats and pets while also giving Sapphire treats and some pets if she'd allow it. After about 15 minutes she went upstairs and Fluffy went to the perch.

Tonight, she had gotten a bit scared when I was in my room playing with Fluffy and he saw her and tried to push the gate open which made her go back to her room and up into her bed. Shortly before Fluffy's bedtime as I was typing this out on the couch, she did come almost all the way down the stairs for a visit. Fluffy saw her and jumped off the perch to the ground, but I calmly got up and gave them some treats together before putting Fluffy to bed.

I do think that the slight change in routine on the weekends probably affects Sapphire somewhat as she may not be sleeping as much during the day when someone is at home compared to during the week. Then of course, because I'm not seeing any progress, I'm getting stressed which means I'm going into a new week feeling stressed about it. It's something I will try and work on.

It might sound silly, but I think that sometimes Fluffy's meowing may annoy her or bother her, however I don't really know if that is even a thing. She seems a bit more anxious when he is meowing behind a door or in sight. It also seems more likely that she'll come downstairs when he is quiet. I believe I've mentioned before that Fluffy is an EXTREMELY talkative cat and pretty much never stops meowing and he is also quite loud.

"So sorry for the late response." - No need to apologize at all. I should not be a source of stress or anything negative.

" I've been busy at work with executives visiting from Toronto this week and haven't had much time to do much of anything." - Wow, understandable. I hope it went well.

Now to answer your questions
"From what I see, Sapphire acts pretty normal while she's upstairs." - GREAT!!!

" I'd say she spends most of the time just laying in her bed or on a pillow relaxing." - Great

" Sometimes when I bring him upstairs she'll sit far back in the room but minimal hiding." - Great

"I do think I've been feeling a bit more anxious lately. " - Ok

"When Sapphire is downstairs already I get nervous about potential negatives" - Ok, understandable but try not to anticipate too much unless there are good signs of something going on.

" and when she stays upstairs I get anxious that she is afraid of him." - Ok, that I would not worry about at this point.

" Being overworked and extremely tired isn't helping that I'm sure." - Yes. Try to view the cats and all the progress in a positive (as it is) so it can relieve work stress.

"I'm still trying to act more aloof. " - Great!!!!

"When Fluffy is out and Sapphire is upstairs I will sit on the couch and just do my thing." - Perfect

" If I notice him going towards the stairs or I notice Sapphire come down I'll get up to make sure he doesn't try pulling a fast one." - Ok, maybe lead him into the kitchen or something. Try to get him to follow you.

"So far this week we've had a mixture of what they do." - Ok

" Yesterday evening Sapphire was laying on the dining room chair for quite awhile while Fluffy was out." - GREAT!!!

" I tried to get him to come and relax on the window perch with very little luck." - Ok, that is fine.

" He was really fixated on going to visit his sister" - I am sure. He is social and SO WANTS his friend. :/

" so I just did my best to keep him occupied with treats and pets while also giving Sapphire treats and some pets if she'd allow it." - Ok

" After about 15 minutes she went upstairs and Fluffy went to the perch." - THAT is GREAT!!

"Tonight, she had gotten a bit scared when I was in my room playing with Fluffy and he saw her and tried to push the gate open which made her go back to her room and up into her bed. " - Ok, doesn't sound like a big deal.

"Shortly before Fluffy's bedtime as I was typing this out on the couch, she did come almost all the way down the stairs for a visit. " - GREAT!!!

"Fluffy saw her and jumped off the perch to the ground," - Expected

" but I calmly got up and gave them some treats together before putting Fluffy to bed." - Great. And she was fine with all of that?

"I do think that the slight change in routine on the weekends probably affects Sapphire somewhat as she may not be sleeping as much during the day when someone is at home compared to during the week." - Ok, that does make sense.

" Then of course, because I'm not seeing any progress," - Ok, there is progress. They are doing great, co-existing and safely. Now I know you want more and that will come (though how much more I am not sure). Just take a step back and try to see the positives.

" I'm getting stressed " - Ok, that is not good.

"which means I'm going into a new week feeling stressed about it." - Ok, understandable but not good. At this point this situation should not give too much stress. So let's take a step back and look at the positives and appreciate it.

" It's something I will try and work on." - GREAT!!!

"It might sound silly, but I think that sometimes Fluffy's meowing may annoy her or bother her, " - Not at all, that is VERY common.

"however I don't really know if that is even a thing." - It is

" She seems a bit more anxious when he is meowing behind a door or in sight." - Understandable. A lot of the times it is when they are not seen that is more stressful for them.

" It also seems more likely that she'll come downstairs when he is quiet." - Yes, makes sense

" I believe I've mentioned before that Fluffy is an EXTREMELY talkative cat and pretty much never stops meowing and he is also quite loud. " - Yes

The cats really are doing great so try to enjoy them. Focus on work as much as possible, don't worry too much about the cats, find some enjoyment from other things and the cats and let's keep the progress going. I am actually really happy with what i am reading. Sure it is not as fast as we would like but they are getting there. Fluffy is great and she will realize it in time.

 

[Graham18]

"So sorry for the late response." - No need to apologize at all. I should not be a source of stress or anything negative.

" I've been busy at work with executives visiting from Toronto this week and haven't had much time to do much of anything." - Wow, understandable. I hope it went well.

Now to answer your questions
"From what I see, Sapphire acts pretty normal while she's upstairs." - GREAT!!!

" I'd say she spends most of the time just laying in her bed or on a pillow relaxing." - Great

" Sometimes when I bring him upstairs she'll sit far back in the room but minimal hiding." - Great

"I do think I've been feeling a bit more anxious lately. " - Ok

"When Sapphire is downstairs already I get nervous about potential negatives" - Ok, understandable but try not to anticipate too much unless there are good signs of something going on.

" and when she stays upstairs I get anxious that she is afraid of him." - Ok, that I would not worry about at this point.

" Being overworked and extremely tired isn't helping that I'm sure." - Yes. Try to view the cats and all the progress in a positive (as it is) so it can relieve work stress.

"I'm still trying to act more aloof. " - Great!!!!

"When Fluffy is out and Sapphire is upstairs I will sit on the couch and just do my thing." - Perfect

" If I notice him going towards the stairs or I notice Sapphire come down I'll get up to make sure he doesn't try pulling a fast one." - Ok, maybe lead him into the kitchen or something. Try to get him to follow you.

"So far this week we've had a mixture of what they do." - Ok

" Yesterday evening Sapphire was laying on the dining room chair for quite awhile while Fluffy was out." - GREAT!!!

" I tried to get him to come and relax on the window perch with very little luck." - Ok, that is fine.

" He was really fixated on going to visit his sister" - I am sure. He is social and SO WANTS his friend. :/

" so I just did my best to keep him occupied with treats and pets while also giving Sapphire treats and some pets if she'd allow it." - Ok

" After about 15 minutes she went upstairs and Fluffy went to the perch." - THAT is GREAT!!

"Tonight, she had gotten a bit scared when I was in my room playing with Fluffy and he saw her and tried to push the gate open which made her go back to her room and up into her bed. " - Ok, doesn't sound like a big deal.

"Shortly before Fluffy's bedtime as I was typing this out on the couch, she did come almost all the way down the stairs for a visit. " - GREAT!!!

"Fluffy saw her and jumped off the perch to the ground," - Expected

" but I calmly got up and gave them some treats together before putting Fluffy to bed." - Great. And she was fine with all of that?

"I do think that the slight change in routine on the weekends probably affects Sapphire somewhat as she may not be sleeping as much during the day when someone is at home compared to during the week." - Ok, that does make sense.

" Then of course, because I'm not seeing any progress," - Ok, there is progress. They are doing great, co-existing and safely. Now I know you want more and that will come (though how much more I am not sure). Just take a step back and try to see the positives.

" I'm getting stressed " - Ok, that is not good.

"which means I'm going into a new week feeling stressed about it." - Ok, understandable but not good. At this point this situation should not give too much stress. So let's take a step back and look at the positives and appreciate it.

" It's something I will try and work on." - GREAT!!!

"It might sound silly, but I think that sometimes Fluffy's meowing may annoy her or bother her, " - Not at all, that is VERY common.

"however I don't really know if that is even a thing." - It is

" She seems a bit more anxious when he is meowing behind a door or in sight." - Understandable. A lot of the times it is when they are not seen that is more stressful for them.

" It also seems more likely that she'll come downstairs when he is quiet." - Yes, makes sense

" I believe I've mentioned before that Fluffy is an EXTREMELY talkative cat and pretty much never stops meowing and he is also quite loud. " - Yes

The cats really are doing great so try to enjoy them. Focus on work as much as possible, don't worry too much about the cats, find some enjoyment from other things and the cats and let's keep the progress going. I am actually really happy with what i am reading. Sure it is not as fast as we would like but they are getting there. Fluffy is great and she will realize it in time.

Thank you for your kind words
Sapphire has been acting still fine for the most part.

The weekend is almost here so I'm not expecting much of anything to update.

Very brief from last night. Sapphire was relaxing on the couch and actually looked relaxed (legs stretched out, possibly some grooming). Fluffy had a bit more energy than usual and REALLY wanted to play with his sister but I kept him distracted and busy. After about 10/15 minutes sapphire jumped to the floor and kind of hid behind/under the coffee table for a few minutes keeping an eye on Fluffy who was getting quite excited at this point. Finally she slowly made her way out while he was a bit distracted (she was down pretty close to the ground). As he turned and started back towards her she gave a quick hiss and growl and then took off upstairs at full speed. He wanted to chase her but didn't.

The rest of the evening went fairly normal. Sapphire was upstairs in her bed when I put Fluffy to bed and she came down a few minutes later wanting to play.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thank you for your kind words
Sapphire has been acting still fine for the most part.

The weekend is almost here so I'm not expecting much of anything to update.

Very brief from last night. Sapphire was relaxing on the couch and actually looked relaxed (legs stretched out, possibly some grooming). Fluffy had a bit more energy than usual and REALLY wanted to play with his sister but I kept him distracted and busy. After about 10/15 minutes sapphire jumped to the floor and kind of hid behind/under the coffee table for a few minutes keeping an eye on Fluffy who was getting quite excited at this point. Finally she slowly made her way out while he was a bit distracted (she was down pretty close to the ground). As he turned and started back towards her she gave a quick hiss and growl and then took off upstairs at full speed. He wanted to chase her but didn't.

The rest of the evening went fairly normal. Sapphire was upstairs in her bed when I put Fluffy to bed and she came down a few minutes later wanting to play.

"Thank you for your kind words " - You are welcome. I hope you know I mean every word I write.

"Sapphire has been acting still fine for the most part." - Great!!

"The weekend is almost here so I'm not expecting much of anything to update." - OK, if so that is great.

"Very brief from last night. Sapphire was relaxing on the couch and actually looked relaxed (legs stretched out, possibly some grooming)." - GREAT!!!

" Fluffy had a bit more energy than usual and REALLY wanted to play with his sister " - Awwwwwwwww

"but I kept him distracted and busy." - OK

" After about 10/15 minutes sapphire jumped to the floor and kind of hid behind/under the coffee table for a few minutes keeping an eye on Fluffy who was getting quite excited at this point." - Ok, so far so good

"Finally she slowly made her way out while he was a bit distracted (she was down pretty close to the ground)." - Ok

" As he turned and started back towards her she gave a quick hiss and growl and then took off upstairs at full speed." - OK, it is part of the process.

" He wanted to chase her but didn't." - Because he didn't want to or because you didn't allow it?

"The rest of the evening went fairly normal." - GREAT!!! How they act after something like that is really telling.

" Sapphire was upstairs in her bed when I put Fluffy to bed and she came down a few minutes later wanting to play." - GREAT!!!!

So I am really happy with that. It isn't perfect BUT it is pretty good!!! She will get there!!!

 

[Graham18]

"Thank you for your kind words " - You are welcome. I hope you know I mean every word I write.

"Sapphire has been acting still fine for the most part." - Great!!

"The weekend is almost here so I'm not expecting much of anything to update." - OK, if so that is great.

"Very brief from last night. Sapphire was relaxing on the couch and actually looked relaxed (legs stretched out, possibly some grooming)." - GREAT!!!

" Fluffy had a bit more energy than usual and REALLY wanted to play with his sister " - Awwwwwwwww

"but I kept him distracted and busy." - OK

" After about 10/15 minutes sapphire jumped to the floor and kind of hid behind/under the coffee table for a few minutes keeping an eye on Fluffy who was getting quite excited at this point." - Ok, so far so good

"Finally she slowly made her way out while he was a bit distracted (she was down pretty close to the ground)." - Ok

" As he turned and started back towards her she gave a quick hiss and growl and then took off upstairs at full speed." - OK, it is part of the process.

" He wanted to chase her but didn't." - Because he didn't want to or because you didn't allow it?

"The rest of the evening went fairly normal." - GREAT!!! How they act after something like that is really telling.

" Sapphire was upstairs in her bed when I put Fluffy to bed and she came down a few minutes later wanting to play." - GREAT!!!!

So I am really happy with that. It isn't perfect BUT it is pretty good!!! She will get there!!!

I definitely know you mean it sometimes when I'm feeling down about the cats I'll reread the most recent response and they always cheer me up.

Also, Fluffy didn't chase on his own. I could tell he thought about it and I was ready to react if needed but he held back his urge at least to some extent. He does know she's up there after however and he tries really hard to be sneaky and sneak upstairs if I'm not looking.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I definitely know you mean it sometimes when I'm feeling down about the cats I'll reread the most recent response and they always cheer me up.

Also, Fluffy didn't chase on his own. I could tell he thought about it and I was ready to react if needed but he held back his urge at least to some extent. He does know she's up there after however and he tries really hard to be sneaky and sneak upstairs if I'm not looking.

"I definitely know you mean it " - Great. Because I do.

"sometimes when I'm feeling down about the cats I'll reread the most recent response and they always cheer me up." - Great. And also just take a moment to watch them and appreciate the times they are doing well.

"Also, Fluffy didn't chase on his own. " - Wow, GREAT!!

"I could tell he thought about it and I was ready to react if needed but he held back his urge at least to some extent. " - WOW, THAT IS AMZING he chose to not act on the impulse!!!!

"He does know she's up there after however and he tries really hard to be sneaky and sneak upstairs if I'm not looking. " -- Awwwwwwwwwwwww

 

[Graham18]

Hello!

Nothing major to update from the weekend and things are still moving along slowly. Sapphire was back to laying on the couch Friday evening so I kept Fluffy occupied on the floor with some treats and had him following me around downstairs. I took two videos which I will link at the end though they aren't very exciting.

Nothing exciting happened on Saturday with leaving Sapphires door open. In the morning she just stays in bed after she eats a bit and as usual on weekends she climbs into her bed after she has dinner and doesn't come downstairs until quite a bit later. It was Fluffy's third birthday on Saturday so I've started to try and bring him out downstairs for a longer period of time in the evenings right after he eats and in hopes she may come down but no luck yet.

Sunday afternoon I let Fluffy out of his bedroom while Sapphire was downstairs and she ran upstairs right away (possibly a bit of shock of him just appearing out of no where). She came back a total of three times, the first about halfway down the stairs for a few minutes before running back upstairs and by the third time she came all the way down into the living room, still a bit cautiously, but she stayed for some treats. As she was sitting on the stairs, she also made a sound that I've never heard before. It wasn't quite a meow and wasn't quite a growl but something in between and I'm really not sure what it means.

Monday evening she again opted for a nap after dinner. Towards the end of the night I brought Fluffy upstairs and Sapphire didn't really seem to care. She was curled up in her bed with her back facing the doorway and she would look up briefly before going back to her curled up position. When I put a few treats in her room she eventually got up, jumped to the floor to eat them and then just kind of sat there acting sleepy.

I feel like she is almost at the point, if not there, where she is indifferent to Fluffy existing as long as he doesn't bother her, though there is still some caution. She doesn't really hide abnormally and kind of just lays in her bed or naps while he is out downstairs. She's also been going to nap immediately after she eats before Fluffy is even brought downstairs so unless she's learned that routine, she's not doing it because of him. My only worry is that if they aren't in the same room face to face, it is going to make it difficult to progress further, however I'm trying to look at the positive that Fluffy gets to spend time out and about and Sapphire gets to relax and nap while not being closed off in her room.

Here are the video linksSapphire and Fluffy Feb 11/22
Sapphire and Fluffy Feb 11/22 PT2

Shortly after the second video, Sapphire jumped to the floor and his behind the coffee table for a minute or two before going upstairs cautiously with a small hiss and growl as she passed by Fluffy. Nothing too exciting haha

 

[CallMeAnything]

Hello everyone, I'm new to the site and reading a lot of posts has given me some great insight into introductions however, I still feel like I need some advice introducing my two cats. I'm sorry in advance for a potentially long post..

My resident cat, Sapphire, I adopted about ayear and a half ago. She is a 2 y.o. spayed female. Typically very calm and laid back and can be playful at times.
This February I adopted a 2 y.o neutered male cat named Fluffy. He was very calm at the Humane society and was with several other cats with no issues. Once home he became very playful with seemingly never-ending energy.

I followed slow introduction steps as Sapphire was very upset knowing there was another cat in the house and would hiss at the smell of Fluffy on my hand for about a week and after that progressively got better to the point where they could see eachother through baby gates without any issues after about a month of being seperate. At that point I tried to do a face to face introduction and Sapphire immediately ran away and Fluffy chased after her (I believe he thought she was playing) and one thing led to another and they had a small fight, Sapphire trying to defend herself and Fluffy then trying to defend himself realising she wasn't playing with him.

I went back to the beginning of the introduction process immediately after that and up until this point everything seemed to be progressing fairly smoothly again. They have now been separated for about 10 weeks. Fluffy comes out for a few hours each day while Sapphire is closed in her room. And they are fed together every day directly opposite baby gates with no issues and Sapphire will sometimes sit a few feet away and watch but never comes closer than that unless it's dinner time. Every now and then she will walk up to his closed safe room door, hiss and then walk away.

About two weeks ago I decided to try and let Fluffy out from behind the baby gates as both cats were calm and immediately as soon as he can without Sapphire even moving he would try and lunge at her/chase her (no aggressive sounds or posturing so I still believe he is trying to play) and she takes off upstairs (I caught Fluffy before he could get to her).

Within about an hour Sapphire would come out of hiding and back to her normal self. I returned to simply feeding for a few days and still no issues so I began to bring Fluffy out again, only holding him and about half the time Sapphire would hiss/growl and run away, the other half, she'll sit and stare for a minute or two then walk away casually. Fluffy will start to squirm in my arms as soon as he sees Sapphire. I then tried to bring Fluffy out on a leash to prevent him from chasing sapphire but she is still running away almost immediately.

Neither cat responds to treats or play or attention when they see the other. Sapphire continues to run away and Fluffy continues to try and chase her as soon as the baby gates aren't there. When they are up both cats are calm with minimal issues.

I'm looking for any advice or tips to try and help both these behaviors as I feel like nothing is working and I haven't been able to get through to the behavior department at my local humane society yet.

On a side note, I have two feliway diffusers going at all times. One near fluffy's room and one near Sapphire's. I have also tried leaving baby gates stacked in Fluffy's doorway for more visual exposure but he always try to climb over them if I'm not with him and in one test case he climbed to the second gate and pulled it down (Sapphire was away upstairs at the time).

Thank you in advance for any advice/tips/encouragement anyone can offer and I do apologize for the long post

My family usually keeps the new one in a room for a week or more then let them out at a quiet time when you can and they should do things like sniff hiss and swipe all of that cat stuff and you should be good to go. This has only failed once for my family, we own two cats and it has been a year and they still hate the other cats. Good luck!

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hello!

Nothing major to update from the weekend and things are still moving along slowly. Sapphire was back to laying on the couch Friday evening so I kept Fluffy occupied on the floor with some treats and had him following me around downstairs. I took two videos which I will link at the end though they aren't very exciting.

Nothing exciting happened on Saturday with leaving Sapphires door open. In the morning she just stays in bed after she eats a bit and as usual on weekends she climbs into her bed after she has dinner and doesn't come downstairs until quite a bit later. It was Fluffy's third birthday on Saturday so I've started to try and bring him out downstairs for a longer period of time in the evenings right after he eats and in hopes she may come down but no luck yet.

Sunday afternoon I let Fluffy out of his bedroom while Sapphire was downstairs and she ran upstairs right away (possibly a bit of shock of him just appearing out of no where). She came back a total of three times, the first about halfway down the stairs for a few minutes before running back upstairs and by the third time she came all the way down into the living room, still a bit cautiously, but she stayed for some treats. As she was sitting on the stairs, she also made a sound that I've never heard before. It wasn't quite a meow and wasn't quite a growl but something in between and I'm really not sure what it means.

Monday evening she again opted for a nap after dinner. Towards the end of the night I brought Fluffy upstairs and Sapphire didn't really seem to care. She was curled up in her bed with her back facing the doorway and she would look up briefly before going back to her curled up position. When I put a few treats in her room she eventually got up, jumped to the floor to eat them and then just kind of sat there acting sleepy.

I feel like she is almost at the point, if not there, where she is indifferent to Fluffy existing as long as he doesn't bother her, though there is still some caution. She doesn't really hide abnormally and kind of just lays in her bed or naps while he is out downstairs. She's also been going to nap immediately after she eats before Fluffy is even brought downstairs so unless she's learned that routine, she's not doing it because of him. My only worry is that if they aren't in the same room face to face, it is going to make it difficult to progress further, however I'm trying to look at the positive that Fluffy gets to spend time out and about and Sapphire gets to relax and nap while not being closed off in her room.

Here are the video linksSapphire and Fluffy Feb 11/22
Sapphire and Fluffy Feb 11/22 PT2

Shortly after the second video, Sapphire jumped to the floor and his behind the coffee table for a minute or two before going upstairs cautiously with a small hiss and growl as she passed by Fluffy. Nothing too exciting haha

Hello

"Nothing major to update from the weekend and things are still moving along slowly." - Ok, good

" Sapphire was back to laying on the couch Friday evening so I kept Fluffy occupied on the floor with some treats and had him following me around downstairs." - GREAT!!!!

" I took two videos which I will link at the end though they aren't very exciting." - Great, I will take a look

"Nothing exciting happened on Saturday with leaving Sapphires door open. In the morning she just stays in bed after she eats a bit and as usual on weekends she climbs into her bed after she has dinner and doesn't come downstairs until quite a bit later. " - That is fine. As long as she is happy.

"It was Fluffy's third birthday on Saturday" - Awwwww, HAPPY BRITHDAY FLUFFY!!!!

" so I've started to try and bring him out downstairs for a longer period of time in the evenings right after he eats" - Great!!!

" and in hopes she may come down but no luck yet." - Ok but I LOVE that you are letting him out more. It is her decision to come down and be a part of the family if she wants.

"Sunday afternoon I let Fluffy out of his bedroom while Sapphire was downstairs and she ran upstairs right away (possibly a bit of shock of him just appearing out of no where). " - Ok but as long as nothing negative happened it is fine.

"She came back a total of three times," - WOW!!! GREAT!!!

" the first about halfway down the stairs for a few minutes before running back upstairs" - Great

" and by the third time she came all the way down into the living room," - WOW!!! TERRIFIC!!!!

" still a bit cautiously," - That is fine

" but she stayed for some treats." - GREAT!!!

" As she was sitting on the stairs, she also made a sound that I've never heard before. It wasn't quite a meow and wasn't quite a growl but something in between and I'm really not sure what it means." - Awwwwww. How did Fluffy respond? Or was it even directed to him?

"Monday evening she again opted for a nap after dinner." - Ok, that is fine

" Towards the end of the night I brought Fluffy upstairs and Sapphire didn't really seem to care. " - Terrific!!

"She was curled up in her bed with her back facing the doorway and she would look up briefly before going back to her curled up position." - Awwwww, great sign.

" When I put a few treats in her room she eventually got up, jumped to the floor to eat them and then just kind of sat there acting sleepy." - Awwwwwwwww. Terrific.

"I feel like she is almost at the point, if not there, where she is indifferent to Fluffy existing as long as he doesn't bother her, though there is still some caution." - Great. I will say this update is FANTASTIC!!!! That is progress!!!

" She doesn't really hide abnormally" - Terrific.

" and kind of just lays in her bed or naps while he is out downstairs. " - Yes, that is fine

"She's also been going to nap immediately after she eats before Fluffy is even brought downstairs so unless she's learned that routine, she's not doing it because of him." - Well, cats do like to sleep after eating. It does seem like you are correct.

" My only worry is that if they aren't in the same room face to face," - If that is our only worry that is really good. It will happen at some point, let's not force it and just let it happen naturally.

" it is going to make it difficult to progress further," - No, I don't think so. It is really all about positive encounters and positive associations so if that is what they are getting it is helping.

" however I'm trying to look at the positive that Fluffy gets to spend time out and about and Sapphire gets to relax and nap while not being closed off in her room." - Exactly and maybe you are getting more enjoyment, more positives, less stress, etc.

Here are the video linksSapphire and Fluffy Feb 11/22
Sapphire and Fluffy Feb 11/22 PT2

Videos - Firstly, they are SO GORGEOUS!!! And ADORABLE!!! Such sweet cats!!! Sapphire looks amazing in both videos, great body language. Fluffy is just great. So positive, no aggression, etc. They look FANTSTIC!!! So positive!!!

"Shortly after the second video, Sapphire jumped to the floor and his behind the coffee table for a minute or two before going upstairs cautiously with a small hiss and growl as she passed by Fluffy. Nothing too exciting haha" - Ok, that is fine. Probably because he was moving around more and more quickly. But if that is all she and he did they were fine. Are fine.

I LOVE this update!!!! Keep up the great work and just go about life. Sapphire is dong great!!!! I LOVE it!!!

 

[Graham18]

My family usually keeps the new one in a room for a week or more then let them out at a quiet time when you can and they should do things like sniff hiss and swipe all of that cat stuff and you should be good to go. This has only failed once for my family, we own two cats and it has been a year and they still hate the other cats. Good luck!

Thank you! We're going on a year very soon. My female resident cat is quite skittish and my new boy loves her but he also loves to wrestle with her which she does not appreciate.

Hello

"Nothing major to update from the weekend and things are still moving along slowly." - Ok, good

" Sapphire was back to laying on the couch Friday evening so I kept Fluffy occupied on the floor with some treats and had him following me around downstairs." - GREAT!!!!

" I took two videos which I will link at the end though they aren't very exciting." - Great, I will take a look

"Nothing exciting happened on Saturday with leaving Sapphires door open. In the morning she just stays in bed after she eats a bit and as usual on weekends she climbs into her bed after she has dinner and doesn't come downstairs until quite a bit later. " - That is fine. As long as she is happy.

"It was Fluffy's third birthday on Saturday" - Awwwww, HAPPY BRITHDAY FLUFFY!!!!

" so I've started to try and bring him out downstairs for a longer period of time in the evenings right after he eats" - Great!!!

" and in hopes she may come down but no luck yet." - Ok but I LOVE that you are letting him out more. It is her decision to come down and be a part of the family if she wants.

"Sunday afternoon I let Fluffy out of his bedroom while Sapphire was downstairs and she ran upstairs right away (possibly a bit of shock of him just appearing out of no where). " - Ok but as long as nothing negative happened it is fine.

"She came back a total of three times," - WOW!!! GREAT!!!

" the first about halfway down the stairs for a few minutes before running back upstairs" - Great

" and by the third time she came all the way down into the living room," - WOW!!! TERRIFIC!!!!

" still a bit cautiously," - That is fine

" but she stayed for some treats." - GREAT!!!

" As she was sitting on the stairs, she also made a sound that I've never heard before. It wasn't quite a meow and wasn't quite a growl but something in between and I'm really not sure what it means." - Awwwwww. How did Fluffy respond? Or was it even directed to him?

"Monday evening she again opted for a nap after dinner." - Ok, that is fine

" Towards the end of the night I brought Fluffy upstairs and Sapphire didn't really seem to care. " - Terrific!!

"She was curled up in her bed with her back facing the doorway and she would look up briefly before going back to her curled up position." - Awwwww, great sign.

" When I put a few treats in her room she eventually got up, jumped to the floor to eat them and then just kind of sat there acting sleepy." - Awwwwwwwww. Terrific.

"I feel like she is almost at the point, if not there, where she is indifferent to Fluffy existing as long as he doesn't bother her, though there is still some caution." - Great. I will say this update is FANTASTIC!!!! That is progress!!!

" She doesn't really hide abnormally" - Terrific.

" and kind of just lays in her bed or naps while he is out downstairs. " - Yes, that is fine

"She's also been going to nap immediately after she eats before Fluffy is even brought downstairs so unless she's learned that routine, she's not doing it because of him." - Well, cats do like to sleep after eating. It does seem like you are correct.

" My only worry is that if they aren't in the same room face to face," - If that is our only worry that is really good. It will happen at some point, let's not force it and just let it happen naturally.

" it is going to make it difficult to progress further," - No, I don't think so. It is really all about positive encounters and positive associations so if that is what they are getting it is helping.

" however I'm trying to look at the positive that Fluffy gets to spend time out and about and Sapphire gets to relax and nap while not being closed off in her room." - Exactly and maybe you are getting more enjoyment, more positives, less stress, etc.

Here are the video linksSapphire and Fluffy Feb 11/22
Sapphire and Fluffy Feb 11/22 PT2

Videos - Firstly, they are SO GORGEOUS!!! And ADORABLE!!! Such sweet cats!!! Sapphire looks amazing in both videos, great body language. Fluffy is just great. So positive, no aggression, etc. They look FANTSTIC!!! So positive!!!

"Shortly after the second video, Sapphire jumped to the floor and his behind the coffee table for a minute or two before going upstairs cautiously with a small hiss and growl as she passed by Fluffy. Nothing too exciting haha" - Ok, that is fine. Probably because he was moving around more and more quickly. But if that is all she and he did they were fine. Are fine.

I LOVE this update!!!! Keep up the great work and just go about life. Sapphire is dong great!!!! I LOVE it!!!

With the sound that she made he didn't really respond though I don't even know if he was paying attention, but it was for sure directed at him.

Yesterday was the same as always. Sapphire did come to near the bottom of the stairs for treats and Fluffy was getting excited but I was sitting on the stairs so he couldn't get passed. Sapphire did end up getting scared at one point. Fluffy was in the kitchen after chasing a treat and Sapphire stuck her head through the stairs bannister to try and see what he was doing. When he came back towards the stairs she started to panic and hiss frantically before running upstairs. Fluffy would have chased her had I not been sitting on the stairs. Brought him upstairs a little while later and she was in her bed but came right over towards the door for a few treats with only a few growls towards him.

I apologize if my responses are delayed or seem more stressed than usual. I just had about double the work given to me starting this week as I am covering my boss' maternity leave for the next few months and I am already quite exhausted after only three days. However reading positive responses and advice helps with the stress so I will do the best I can to update.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thank you! We're going on a year very soon. My female resident cat is quite skittish and my new boy loves her but he also loves to wrestle with her which she does not appreciate.


With the sound that she made he didn't really respond though I don't even know if he was paying attention, but it was for sure directed at him.

Yesterday was the same as always. Sapphire did come to near the bottom of the stairs for treats and Fluffy was getting excited but I was sitting on the stairs so he couldn't get passed. Sapphire did end up getting scared at one point. Fluffy was in the kitchen after chasing a treat and Sapphire stuck her head through the stairs bannister to try and see what he was doing. When he came back towards the stairs she started to panic and hiss frantically before running upstairs. Fluffy would have chased her had I not been sitting on the stairs. Brought him upstairs a little while later and she was in her bed but came right over towards the door for a few treats with only a few growls towards him.

I apologize if my responses are delayed or seem more stressed than usual. I just had about double the work given to me starting this week as I am covering my boss' maternity leave for the next few months and I am already quite exhausted after only three days. However reading positive responses and advice helps with the stress so I will do the best I can to update.

"With the sound that she made he didn't really respond though I don't even know if he was paying attention, but it was for sure directed at him." - Well, it could not have been that bad then if he didn't care. That is good.

"Yesterday was the same as always." - Ok, good

" Sapphire did come to near the bottom of the stairs for treats" - GREAT!!!

" and Fluffy was getting excited but I was sitting on the stairs so he couldn't get passed." - Perfect

" Sapphire did end up getting scared at one point. Fluffy was in the kitchen after chasing a treat and Sapphire stuck her head through the stairs bannister to try and see what he was doing." - Awwwwwwwww. How was her body language? Curious?

" When he came back towards the stairs she started to panic and hiss frantically before running upstairs." - Ok. Was he moving quickly?

" Fluffy would have chased her had I not been sitting on the stairs." - Yep

" Brought him upstairs a little while later and she was in her bed but came right over towards the door for a few treats with only a few growls towards him." - WOW!!! GREAT!!!! So no lingering issues *probably because nothing negative actually happened).

"I apologize if my responses are delayed or seem more stressed than usual." - Oh, no need to apologize. Delayed is fine since the cats are doing well. And the responses do not seem stressed at all. I didn't sense that.

" I just had about double the work given to me starting this week as I am covering my boss' maternity leave for the next few months and I am already quite exhausted after only three days." - Oh my. That is a lot of work. Well, focus on work, the cats are doing fine so at least one source of stress is reduced.

" However reading positive responses and advice helps with the stress" - Oh good. Well, the responses are only positive because the cats are doing well.

" so I will do the best I can to update. " - Sounds good.

Good luck with work. Just do your best, one task at a time, don't get ahead of yourself and keep moving forward. And take some time back at home to enjoy yourself and the cats. They are doing great so if you do a little less with them they will be fine.

 

[Graham18]

"With the sound that she made he didn't really respond though I don't even know if he was paying attention, but it was for sure directed at him." - Well, it could not have been that bad then if he didn't care. That is good.

"Yesterday was the same as always." - Ok, good

" Sapphire did come to near the bottom of the stairs for treats" - GREAT!!!

" and Fluffy was getting excited but I was sitting on the stairs so he couldn't get passed." - Perfect

" Sapphire did end up getting scared at one point. Fluffy was in the kitchen after chasing a treat and Sapphire stuck her head through the stairs bannister to try and see what he was doing." - Awwwwwwwww. How was her body language? Curious?

" When he came back towards the stairs she started to panic and hiss frantically before running upstairs." - Ok. Was he moving quickly?

" Fluffy would have chased her had I not been sitting on the stairs." - Yep

" Brought him upstairs a little while later and she was in her bed but came right over towards the door for a few treats with only a few growls towards him." - WOW!!! GREAT!!!! So no lingering issues *probably because nothing negative actually happened).

"I apologize if my responses are delayed or seem more stressed than usual." - Oh, no need to apologize. Delayed is fine since the cats are doing well. And the responses do not seem stressed at all. I didn't sense that.

" I just had about double the work given to me starting this week as I am covering my boss' maternity leave for the next few months and I am already quite exhausted after only three days." - Oh my. That is a lot of work. Well, focus on work, the cats are doing fine so at least one source of stress is reduced.

" However reading positive responses and advice helps with the stress" - Oh good. Well, the responses are only positive because the cats are doing well.

" so I will do the best I can to update. " - Sounds good.

Good luck with work. Just do your best, one task at a time, don't get ahead of yourself and keep moving forward. And take some time back at home to enjoy yourself and the cats. They are doing great so if you do a little less with them they will be fine.

She was looking curious when she was peaking through the stairs and my guess is when he appeared around the edge of my aquarium her immediate assumption was he was going to go for her.

With that being said she made her way downstairs briefly last night and this morning. No real issues with either, Fluffy just gets really excited when she comes down. Last night he was purring and chirping and moving around with his tail sticking straight up on the air. No real issues.

She growled at him once this morning as I was petting her on the stairs which got him worked up and wanting to chase her. I didn't have treats so I went to give him a pet to calm him down. He gave me a small play bite so I know gently gave her a little shove backwards and he started to calm down a bit.

Here is a picture I took afterwards.

 

[calicosrspecial]

She was looking curious when she was peaking through the stairs and my guess is when he appeared around the edge of my aquarium her immediate assumption was he was going to go for her.

With that being said she made her way downstairs briefly last night and this morning. No real issues with either, Fluffy just gets really excited when she comes down. Last night he was purring and chirping and moving around with his tail sticking straight up on the air. No real issues.

She growled at him once this morning as I was petting her on the stairs which got him worked up and wanting to chase her. I didn't have treats so I went to give him a pet to calm him down. He gave me a small play bite so I know gently gave her a little shove backwards and he started to calm down a bit.

Here is a picture I took afterwards.
View attachment 411268
View attachment 411267

"She was looking curious when she was peaking through the stairs" - Awwwww, that is really cute AND more importantly really good!!!

" and my guess is when he appeared around the edge of my aquarium her immediate assumption was he was going to go for her." - Yes though I do sometimes wonder if that is her way of "playing".

"With that being said she made her way downstairs briefly last night and this morning." - Great and that is really important. Tells me she is getting there.

"No real issues with either, " - GREAT!!

"Fluffy just gets really excited when she comes down." - Of course, he wants to play.

" Last night he was purring and chirping and moving around with his tail sticking straight up on the air. No real issues." - Awwwwww, that should show her that he is good.

"She growled at him once this morning as I was petting her on the stairs" - Ok, not a big deal.

" which got him worked up and wanting to chase her." - Yep

" I didn't have treats so I went to give him a pet to calm him down. He gave me a small play bite so I know gently gave her a little shove backwards and he started to calm down a bit." - Ok. I use a "it's ok" to calm them, distract them, dismiss any concerns.

"Here is a picture I took afterwards. " - The pictures look fantastic. He is submissive and she looks great. Fantastic!!

 

[Graham18]

Hello!
Everything still seems to be improving slowly. All weekend sapphire seemed a bit more brave and she was making her way downstairs more often than not. Yesterday morning, she was already downstairs up in the cat tree when Fluffy came out for breakfast. He was being surprisingly calm and just kind of walking around but slowly moving towards her. When she decided to jump down he was pretty good but he did try and make a run for her when she walked to sit up on the stairs. He couldn't get a grip on the floor so I caught him before he could get going and she took off to her room. I put one a single baby gate at the bottom of the stairs knowing Fluffy would struggle to jump over it but if she really wanted to Sapphire could get right over. For the next hour or so, Sapphire continued to come back down the stairs closer to the bottom each time before going back upstairs to run around for a few minutes. By the end she was starting to try and go through the bannister instead so I put Fluffy down for his nap as I didn't want him to lunge at her while she was coming through.

Usually Sapphire just growls quite a bit as Fluffy gets closer and of course Fluffy still tries to lunge at Sapphire as he gets close to her.

This morning has been relatively the same thing. Slowly making her way downstairs every now and then. Eventually she came to the bottom of the stairs and while I was sitting with her Fluffy tried to lunge at her over top of me and I caught him. I took three seperate videos including the lunge where I caught him while recording.


And here is what Sapphire was doing a few minutes later just in the hallway upstairs.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hello!
Everything still seems to be improving slowly. All weekend sapphire seemed a bit more brave and she was making her way downstairs more often than not. Yesterday morning, she was already downstairs up in the cat tree when Fluffy came out for breakfast. He was being surprisingly calm and just kind of walking around but slowly moving towards her. When she decided to jump down he was pretty good but he did try and make a run for her when she walked to sit up on the stairs. He couldn't get a grip on the floor so I caught him before he could get going and she took off to her room. I put one a single baby gate at the bottom of the stairs knowing Fluffy would struggle to jump over it but if she really wanted to Sapphire could get right over. For the next hour or so, Sapphire continued to come back down the stairs closer to the bottom each time before going back upstairs to run around for a few minutes. By the end she was starting to try and go through the bannister instead so I put Fluffy down for his nap as I didn't want him to lunge at her while she was coming through.

Usually Sapphire just growls quite a bit as Fluffy gets closer and of course Fluffy still tries to lunge at Sapphire as he gets close to her.

This morning has been relatively the same thing. Slowly making her way downstairs every now and then. Eventually she came to the bottom of the stairs and while I was sitting with her Fluffy tried to lunge at her over top of me and I caught him. I took three seperate videos including the lunge where I caught him while recording.


And here is what Sapphire was doing a few minutes later just in the hallway upstairs.
View attachment 411601

My goodness is Sapphire adorable in that picture!!!

"Hello!" - Hello

"Everything still seems to be improving slowly." - Great

" All weekend sapphire seemed a bit more brave and she was making her way downstairs more often than not." - Great!!!

" Yesterday morning, she was already downstairs up in the cat tree when Fluffy came out for breakfast. He was being surprisingly calm and just kind of walking around but slowly moving towards her." - Awwwwwwwww

" When she decided to jump down he was pretty good" - Great

" but he did try and make a run for her when she walked to sit up on the stairs." - Ok, expected

" He couldn't get a grip on the floor so I caught him before he could get going and she took off to her room." - Awwwwww, ok

"I put one a single baby gate at the bottom of the stairs knowing Fluffy would struggle to jump over it but if she really wanted to Sapphire could get right over." - Great

" For the next hour or so, Sapphire continued to come back down the stairs closer to the bottom each time before going back upstairs to run around for a few minutes." - Awwwwww, sounds good, like she wanted to play.

" By the end she was starting to try and go through the bannister instead" - Awwwwwwww, terrific.

" so I put Fluffy down for his nap as I didn't want him to lunge at her while she was coming through." - Ok

"Usually Sapphire just growls quite a bit as Fluffy gets closer and of course Fluffy still tries to lunge at Sapphire as he gets close to her." - Yes

"This morning has been relatively the same thing." - Great. I really like what was going on before.

" Slowly making her way downstairs every now and then." - Great

" Eventually she came to the bottom of the stairs and while I was sitting with her Fluffy tried to lunge at her over top of me and I caught him. I took three seperate videos including the lunge where I caught him while recording. " - Ok

Video 1 - They are so gorgeous and sweet. He is so good there. She looks great, relaxed. She likes the bannisters (gate) as a barrier. But overall, fantastic!!! In every way.

Video 2 - Looks good. He is focused on her, she is watching him. She looks great, relaxed. He so wants to play. I think she got bored and ran upstairs at the end. Totally fine.

Video 3 - Poor guy. He SO WANTS to play with her. She did really well handling the "lunge". Didn't seem scared at all which is fantastic!!! He was totally fine after.

"And here is what Sapphire was doing a few minutes later just in the hallway upstairs." - And she looks great in the picture. Does not seem scared at all.

So overall, terrific. She is getting a lot better. He is doing great. He so wants to play. :/ Hopefully some day...................................

But I really like what I am seeing in body language, etc.

 

[Graham18]

My goodness is Sapphire adorable in that picture!!!

"Hello!" - Hello

"Everything still seems to be improving slowly." - Great

" All weekend sapphire seemed a bit more brave and she was making her way downstairs more often than not." - Great!!!

" Yesterday morning, she was already downstairs up in the cat tree when Fluffy came out for breakfast. He was being surprisingly calm and just kind of walking around but slowly moving towards her." - Awwwwwwwww

" When she decided to jump down he was pretty good" - Great

" but he did try and make a run for her when she walked to sit up on the stairs." - Ok, expected

" He couldn't get a grip on the floor so I caught him before he could get going and she took off to her room." - Awwwwww, ok

"I put one a single baby gate at the bottom of the stairs knowing Fluffy would struggle to jump over it but if she really wanted to Sapphire could get right over." - Great

" For the next hour or so, Sapphire continued to come back down the stairs closer to the bottom each time before going back upstairs to run around for a few minutes." - Awwwwww, sounds good, like she wanted to play.

" By the end she was starting to try and go through the bannister instead" - Awwwwwwww, terrific.

" so I put Fluffy down for his nap as I didn't want him to lunge at her while she was coming through." - Ok

"Usually Sapphire just growls quite a bit as Fluffy gets closer and of course Fluffy still tries to lunge at Sapphire as he gets close to her." - Yes

"This morning has been relatively the same thing." - Great. I really like what was going on before.

" Slowly making her way downstairs every now and then." - Great

" Eventually she came to the bottom of the stairs and while I was sitting with her Fluffy tried to lunge at her over top of me and I caught him. I took three seperate videos including the lunge where I caught him while recording. " - Ok

Video 1 - They are so gorgeous and sweet. He is so good there. She looks great, relaxed. She likes the bannisters (gate) as a barrier. But overall, fantastic!!! In every way.

Video 2 - Looks good. He is focused on her, she is watching him. She looks great, relaxed. He so wants to play. I think she got bored and ran upstairs at the end. Totally fine.

Video 3 - Poor guy. He SO WANTS to play with her. She did really well handling the "lunge". Didn't seem scared at all which is fantastic!!! He was totally fine after.

"And here is what Sapphire was doing a few minutes later just in the hallway upstairs." - And she looks great in the picture. Does not seem scared at all.

So overall, terrific. She is getting a lot better. He is doing great. He so wants to play. :/ Hopefully some day...................................

But I really like what I am seeing in body language, etc.

Great! I was quite worried that him lunging at her may have come off as aggression but I wasn't sure. I do suppose that it is the same as when he wants to play and he goes after my feet. He's such a smart boy and learns everything so fast, everything except that he's not allowed to lunge at his sister haha.

On the bright side she did come to the stairs briefly twice last night, but not very far down so she must not have been too scared.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Great! I was quite worried that him lunging at her may have come off as aggression but I wasn't sure. I do suppose that it is the same as when he wants to play and he goes after my feet. He's such a smart boy and learns everything so fast, everything except that he's not allowed to lunge at his sister haha.

On the bright side she did come to the stairs briefly twice last night, but not very far down so she must not have been too scared.

"Great! I was quite worried that him lunging at her may have come off as aggression but I wasn't sure." - Interesting. I actually didn't pick up on any worry from you. Yep, that "lunge" was all play. He wants to play with her so badly. AND to support that is how she acted after. She tells me that she didn't think it was aggressive which is really all that matters.

" I do suppose that it is the same as when he wants to play and he goes after my feet." - Well, I don't think I have seen that but I suspect you are correct. If it was aggression there would be a totally different body language, the actions would be very different, there really is a feeling one picks up on. It is kinda of hard to explain (like trying to describe a food taste) BUT you know it is good or not without being really able to describe it fully.

"He's such a smart boy and learns everything so fast," - He really is. And he is SO GOOD. I am so amazed he is as patient as he is, that he is so good. You can just see him wanting and wanting to play with her. :/ And he still is good. And I don't see any bad intent (causing harm, etc) in him. Not anything at all. Again, IF there was some, a person can see it. I just do not see any bad intent. Rough play? Yep, because he is a boy but no intent to hurt her.

"everything except that he's not allowed to lunge at his sister haha." - Hahahaha. Well, to him that is play so it is good. Like eating too much cake. We shouldn't really do it but "oooooooo it is so good".

"On the bright side she did come to the stairs briefly twice last night, but not very far down so she must not have been too scared." - Exactly. How they act after tells us so much. If she was really frightened and it was serious, she would be really cautious, etc. Again, it is pretty noticeable. You cat instincts are really good so just try to sense what you are really feeling. Especially after an "incident" when you can think about it more clearly AND observe how they act after. Like, in the video I didn't get a sense you were really worried. I just watched it again. I think Fluffy was talking to you to say "hey dad, let me play with her". And you were very calm with the "lunge". And she was fine. And then he just was like "ok, she doesn't want to play or I am not allowed" and he just goes back to his bed. He was totally fine, disappointed I am sure, but fine.

I wish I could express it better. But hopefully as you watch the videos again you can see what I mean.

I think they are doing great!!!

 

[Graham18]

"Great! I was quite worried that him lunging at her may have come off as aggression but I wasn't sure." - Interesting. I actually didn't pick up on any worry from you. Yep, that "lunge" was all play. He wants to play with her so badly. AND to support that is how she acted after. She tells me that she didn't think it was aggressive which is really all that matters.

" I do suppose that it is the same as when he wants to play and he goes after my feet." - Well, I don't think I have seen that but I suspect you are correct. If it was aggression there would be a totally different body language, the actions would be very different, there really is a feeling one picks up on. It is kinda of hard to explain (like trying to describe a food taste) BUT you know it is good or not without being really able to describe it fully.

"He's such a smart boy and learns everything so fast," - He really is. And he is SO GOOD. I am so amazed he is as patient as he is, that he is so good. You can just see him wanting and wanting to play with her. :/ And he still is good. And I don't see any bad intent (causing harm, etc) in him. Not anything at all. Again, IF there was some, a person can see it. I just do not see any bad intent. Rough play? Yep, because he is a boy but no intent to hurt her.

"everything except that he's not allowed to lunge at his sister haha." - Hahahaha. Well, to him that is play so it is good. Like eating too much cake. We shouldn't really do it but "oooooooo it is so good".

"On the bright side she did come to the stairs briefly twice last night, but not very far down so she must not have been too scared." - Exactly. How they act after tells us so much. If she was really frightened and it was serious, she would be really cautious, etc. Again, it is pretty noticeable. You cat instincts are really good so just try to sense what you are really feeling. Especially after an "incident" when you can think about it more clearly AND observe how they act after. Like, in the video I didn't get a sense you were really worried. I just watched it again. I think Fluffy was talking to you to say "hey dad, let me play with her". And you were very calm with the "lunge". And she was fine. And then he just was like "ok, she doesn't want to play or I am not allowed" and he just goes back to his bed. He was totally fine, disappointed I am sure, but fine.

I wish I could express it better. But hopefully as you watch the videos again you can see what I mean.

I think they are doing great!!!

Thank you! I'm glad you helped clear up some of my fears of aggression. I never intended to actually get him going for her on video but I'm glad I did.

Just a quick update or lack of update I should say. Sapphire has been coming to the stairs almost every morning and evening now. She doesn't have the courage or desire at least to come down the stairs but she will come sit at the top for a few minutes, watch Fluffy, and then go back to bed. One night she was already downstairs on her cat tree and she calmly watched Fluffy eat before jumping down and going up to nap.

Fluffy gets SO excited when he sees her. His tail shoots straight up into the air and he starts meowing like crazy. He will either come and sit at the foot of the stairs with me and they watch eachother, or he will sit in the living room and they watch eachother from there. I've had a bit of luck getting him to play when she's on the stairs, but he really likes to play in the cat tunnel on the floor and the loud crinkling sound it makes when he runs through tends to scare Sapphire.

Although it's unrelated, I've noticed Fluffy is now much more playful in the morning and less at night. It does make it a bit difficult to tire him out but so far doesn't seem to be causing problems.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Thank you! I'm glad you helped clear up some of my fears of aggression. I never intended to actually get him going for her on video but I'm glad I did.

Just a quick update or lack of update I should say. Sapphire has been coming to the stairs almost every morning and evening now. She doesn't have the courage or desire at least to come down the stairs but she will come sit at the top for a few minutes, watch Fluffy, and then go back to bed. One night she was already downstairs on her cat tree and she calmly watched Fluffy eat before jumping down and going up to nap.

Fluffy gets SO excited when he sees her. His tail shoots straight up into the air and he starts meowing like crazy. He will either come and sit at the foot of the stairs with me and they watch eachother, or he will sit in the living room and they watch eachother from there. I've had a bit of luck getting him to play when she's on the stairs, but he really likes to play in the cat tunnel on the floor and the loud crinkling sound it makes when he runs through tends to scare Sapphire.

Although it's unrelated, I've noticed Fluffy is now much more playful in the morning and less at night. It does make it a bit difficult to tire him out but so far doesn't seem to be causing problems.

"Thank you! I'm glad you helped clear up some of my fears of aggression." - You are welcome. I am so glad that I could maybe explain the actions better to allow them to be interpreted.

" I never intended to actually get him going for her on video but I'm glad I did." - Agreed, sometimes we get lucky.

"Just a quick update or lack of update I should say." - Hahahaha, ok

" Sapphire has been coming to the stairs almost every morning and evening now." - GREAT!!!!

"She doesn't have the courage or desire at least to come down the stairs " - Not yet

"but she will come sit at the top for a few minutes, watch Fluffy, and then go back to bed." - Great. How is her body language when she goes back to bed?

"One night she was already downstairs on her cat tree and she calmly watched Fluffy eat before jumping down and going up to nap." - TERRIFIC!! How was her body language as she went to nap?

"Fluffy gets SO excited when he sees her." - Awwwww, I know. :/ He so wants to be close to her.

" His tail shoots straight up into the air" - Tail straight up is confidence.

" and he starts meowing like crazy." - Awwwwwwwww

" He will either come and sit at the foot of the stairs with me and they watch eachother, or he will sit in the living room and they watch eachother from there." - Awwwwww, he wants a sign from her

" I've had a bit of luck getting him to play when she's on the stairs," - GREAT!!!! How does she react?

" but he really likes to play in the cat tunnel on the floor and the loud crinkling sound it makes when he runs through tends to scare Sapphire." - Yep and the "ambush" aspect of it.

"Although it's unrelated, I've noticed Fluffy is now much more playful in the morning and less at night." - Interesting

" It does make it a bit difficult to tire him out but so far doesn't seem to be causing problems. " - Yes, though he is probably tough to tire him out otherwise as well. :/ Great it is not causing problems.

Another great update. I love it. Keep doing what you are doing and just act normal around them. It is working!!!