Aggression after roommate moved in with intact male cat

HunterDomino&Sphinx

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Two of my 3 cats are brother and sister. They used to sometimes get a little rough when playing, but there was never any hissing or real aggression. I have a new roommate that rents 2 rooms in my garage, and he has 2 small dogs and 1 cat that has not been neutered. Since he has moved in my cat's are now aggressive with each other. I stopped allowing him to bring my cat's into the garage to play with his cat, because his cat had his ear hurt and now has cauliflower ear (I told him this would happen because his can't isn't fixed). He's upset because now his cat doesn't have a friend, whatever not my problem. I feel safety comes first.
The problem is now Sphinx chases Domino and jumps on her biting the back of the neck. This is more than just the playing they used to do (I understand cats play rough at times). Domino now hisses at Sphinx and swats at him (I stomp my feet, hiss, and chase them away from each other when this happens). Domino often looks uncomfortable and nervous around the house, when she never did before. I can tell she still loves her brother because she will still cuddle with him, and they clean each other daily. When she does she is very hesitant and looks nervous. Could having a male cat that's not fixed in my house causing my male cat that is fixed to be aggressive to my spayed female cat? How do I correct this behavior? Before there was a unfixed cat in my house I never had this problem with them. What can I do? I just want my cat's to be happy and loving again.
 

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Could having a male cat that's not fixed in my house causing my male cat that is fixed to be aggressive to my spayed female cat?
Yes, absolutely. Having a strange cat move into an area that used to be their territory is going to cause aggression and it could cause other behavior problems, like scent marking/spraying or litter box avoidance. This could happen even if the other cat is fixed, but an intact male is going to smell stronger, so your cats will be much more aware of him.

As the new tenant rents from you I think it would be OK if you insist he gets his cat fixed. Not just because of the effect he is having on your cat, but also because an intact male is likely to spray everywhere and the smell of cat urine is very difficult to get rid of.

This won't fix the problems with your cats right away, but once the cat has been neutered you could re-do the introductions and hope they all become friends. Male cats will need about 30 days after neutering before you can expect any changes in their behavior. They are still capable of fathering kittens up to a month after surgery and may still continue to spray.

How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles
 

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Absolutely yes. Odd though as one of the newbies here still has his ….. assets.... but never a whiff of tom, But abundant aggression to my others. And I cannot get that done out here just now.
 

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Echoing - yes. This is in all likelihood the issue here, and unfortunately, it’s unlikely to be resolved unless the other cat is fixed.

Do you know what your roommates opposition or obstacle (like finances) is to having the cat fixed is? Are his dogs fixed? (Because if not, this could also contribute to the behavior you’re seeing, though to a lesser degree than the tom).

if you’re in the position to do so, I would give him an ultimatum to either get his animals fixed within x amount of time, or he needs to move out.

This is completely reasonable to ask of him -

His cat being unfixed has caused a disruption to your own home and cats, which elevates the risk of injury (is he going to pay any vet bills associated with your cats fighting?) and places a tremendous amount of undue stress on both you and the cats.

There is also a risk of damage to your property if his cat sprays and/or provokes your cats to spray.

Kitty also won’t go wild and possibly destroy property and make a racket if a female in heat comes around outside.

You and your cats are not obligated, nor deserve, to deal with unnecessary stress like this. Frankly, neither does his own cat.

If you know why he’s against neutering his kitty, let us know and we can help you formulate and prepare some responses to address his concerns.

Good luck!
 
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HunterDomino&Sphinx

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He just says he won't take his cats balls away because he wants to breed him first. Why I have no idea because the world already has an abundance of cats in shelter. His dogs are fixed, but if he had it his way they wouldn't be. When his cat scratches to get away from him he squeezes it, swats the cat on its nose, and yells no at it like the cat is going to understand. Then he wonders why his cat hides from him and won't come to him when he calls it. I've tried telling him cats don't respond well to that treatment, but he doesn't care. He's the type of dude that's talked about creating a religion so he can "lead people to live the right way in life." The dudes crazy, and I'm saying that having PTSD and MDD.

My garage already smells like cat piss, and I just let the dude live in it because he doesn't care. Luckily my cat's aren't spraying, and I already plan on replacing the carpet out there after he moves out.

He's pissed off that his cat got hurt and has cauliflower ear, but I told him this would happen if he kept bringing my cat's out there because his cats not fixed. Now he complains his cat doesn't have a cat friend because I won't let my cat's out there anymore. I just want to avoid any injury to the cats, his and my cat's.

I was told to try feliway cat diffusers by my vet, but I doubt they will do anything if the other cat in the house isn't fixed.

If I get this job I'm booting him as soon as the eviction mandatoriam is lifted here. It sucks living with a narcissist that thinks he knows all because he has some intelligence.
 

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His cat got cauliflower ear because he didn't bring the cat to the vet to treat him properly. That's on him, not you nor your cats. And most times its actually due to ear mites, not catfights as people think of in terms of it in humans. More than likely it's from that. If he's allowed outside he's probably breeding with lots of females and at risk of never coming back home. He honestly sounds like a horrible owner with the abuse he does. I wonder if that could be reported. Honestly that cat would be better off elsewhere.
 

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Two of my 3 cats are brother and sister. They used to sometimes get a little rough when playing, but there was never any hissing or real aggression. I have a new roommate that rents 2 rooms in my garage, and he has 2 small dogs and 1 cat that has not been neutered. Since he has moved in my cat's are now aggressive with each other. I stopped allowing him to bring my cat's into the garage to play with his cat, because his cat had his ear hurt and now has cauliflower ear (I told him this would happen because his can't isn't fixed). He's upset because now his cat doesn't have a friend, whatever not my problem. I feel safety comes first.
The problem is now Sphinx chases Domino and jumps on her biting the back of the neck. This is more than just the playing they used to do (I understand cats play rough at times). Domino now hisses at Sphinx and swats at him (I stomp my feet, hiss, and chase them away from each other when this happens). Domino often looks uncomfortable and nervous around the house, when she never did before. I can tell she still loves her brother because she will still cuddle with him, and they clean each other daily. When she does she is very hesitant and looks nervous. Could having a male cat that's not fixed in my house causing my male cat that is fixed to be aggressive to my spayed female cat? How do I correct this behavior? Before there was a unfixed cat in my house I never had this problem with them. What can I do? I just want my cat's to be happy and loving again.
Hello and welcome to TCS! I am sorry your cats are having this problem. I use Feliway spray (a feline pheromone mimic) to reassure and calm cats when needed. You spray it on the environment, NOT on cats. It has helped immensely in our family. Also, your roommate's cat would be much happier, potentially healthier, less likely to develop a spraying habit (very normal in male, and some female, cats, to mark territory; but definitely not pleasant! and it can be avoided by spaying/neutering, a one-time operation that is quite routine and in the male, recovery is usually very quick and pain is minimal) and calmer when he ceases producing the hormones intact male cats have as part of their sexuality. I would very strongly encourage your roomie to make that appointment!
He is abusing his cat, as well, and should never have a cat. He needs to be educated in how to respect and protect his cat, be gentle with him, and definitely not contribute to feline overpopulation. alleycat.org and bestfriends.org are excellent sites to visit to obtain information on this. Anyone who cares about cats will not add to the numbers who do not have loving permanent homes.
 
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HunterDomino&Sphinx

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Thank you all for the advice and solutions to this issue. I feel better knowing that my cat's didn't cause his cats ear problems. He did take his cat to the vet once I pointed out to him that his cat had a hematoma on it's ear. He made the vet drain the hematoma probably causing the cauliflower ear because he didn't give it a chance to heal properly on its own (I once had a vet educated me on that after my 2 dogs got into a fight and I wanted my dog's ear drained.).
 

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He just says he won't take his cats balls away because he wants to breed him first
He wants to breed him....how? Is he going to advertise his cat as a stud service? That won't work, people only want to breed from registered pedigree cats. Is he planning to just let the cat out to roam around and mate with feral cats? Also a dreadful idea. His cat could get killed, lost, infected with FIV or FeLV or seriously injured in a cat fight.

Take the cat to the vet and get him fixed yourself. You'll be saving yourself a ton of problems and you'll probably be saving the cats life too.
 
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HunterDomino&Sphinx

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I hit reply on accident on that before finished. I'm not good at these things and have no idea how this forum works. 😅

I've thought about reporting him, but I don't know what good it would do. I really just don't want to live with him anymore and want to provide my pets a positive home. I have tried educating him on how to treat his cat, but all he says is he's had over 30 cats so he knows what works best and how to treat them. Ironically all of his cats have either ran away or got hit by a car, I wonder why that's the case. He only has his current cat because he found it under a car as a kitten in the middle of winter. After he nursed it for a few weeks he wasn't able to find it a home so he kept him. I do commend him for that because most would of left the kitten to die. He's not the worse person in the world, just extremely ignorant and arrogant with a touch of narcissistic tendencies. His view on the world is everyone is stupid and he knows best.

He seems amazed at how loveable my cat's are, but fails to see the difference in how I treat them. I treat them the way I do so they're loveable and cuddly. They don't fear me, like his cat fears him. It took 4 months to get his cat to approach me, and 6 months after that it's still skidish around humans. At least it will let me pet it now and understands I won't hurt it. There's nothing I can do to change that if he doesn't want to change his behavior towards cats (He's gotten a little better, but still remains stubborn because hes been this way his entire life). I told him if I ever see him treating my animals the same way he treats his I would do the same thing to him that he's doing to his pets. He doesn't handle my pets the same so I've had no reason to swat him in the face and yell at him no. I wouldn't even feel bad about it in all honesty. I just keep our pets separate to avoid any problems. Plus he doesn't flea treat his dogs that go outside so I don't want them around my cat's. I keep my dog treated for fleas and ticks so my cat's don't get them. This saves me the cost of treating 3 cats on top of the dogs treatments. I don't have a flea problem unless I am late treating the dog, and then all 4 pets get treated and I treat the house with a 50/50 white vinegar and water mix to make sure they aren't living on the furniture (wood floors everywhere but 2 bedrooms).

I am going to try educating him again on why he should get his cat fixed, but I doubt I will get anywhere. He refuses to take anyone else's opinion and feels he knows what's best. Everything to him is a debate, and if you don't agree he just begins to yell. I don't care for it so I just avoid telling him anything or getting into deep conversations. If he's not capable of listening there's no need to waste my breath on deaf ears. I walk away from ignorance and arrogance because it's frustrating. If it can't be a calm conversation than it's not a conversation worth having. I will try and give him sources and talk about it, but as soon as he starts yelling I will give up and move on.

I am going to try the feliway spray and see if it helps. I will only use it around the house, and will not spray the cats with it. I don't spray my cat's with water because a can of air duster has the same affect without the mess. Hardly even need that anymore now that they're older and trained.

Using it for travel isn't needed because my cat's love their carrier and car rides. I have always left their carriers open at the foot of my bed for them. It's made the carriers a safe place for them to hide when they want to. They sit in the carriers more than they do the 7 1/2 foot tall cat tower they have. My vet said they have never seen cats be so easy to get into their carriers because my cat's jump into them without a fight once they get treated for what they needed. Once we're in the car I let them out of the carrier. They sit on my lap, top of my seat, or the dashboard or rear window and just pur up a storm while looking out the window. They act this way in the car because while they were kittens I would take them for daily car rides. We would go visit people at my local convenience store, and take rides in the country (Yes I got many funny looks and pointing fingers as I drove by other people 🤣). This allowed them to become comfortable riding in a car, and they only freak out if I don't let them out the carriers in the car. They absolutely love car rides, which took patience and conditioning for it to happen.

I wouldn't recommend trying this with an older cat, and it may not work for every kitten. I'm lucky to have cats that love their carriers and car rides, not every cat will. The one thing my cats didn't take to was leash training. I tried for a month, and because they wouldn't take to it I stopped so it wasn't a stress on them. They're a huge support for my anxiety and depression. I love them dearly, and will do anything for their well being. I did some things differently than most, but had success with a lot of it. What was most important was that I didn't push them too far, and let them find comfort at their own pace while giving positive reinforcement. If they won't adjust to something forcing it on them will only have a negative affect on the animal.

Back to bed now that Domino has her eye meds and is cuddling me. Her scratched eyeball is what lead me to joining this forum to discuss the change in my cat's behavior. I also wish she didn't hate me for giving her meds, but it has to be done. All I can do is associate it with treats and cuddles then hope she doesn't hold it against me 😅
 

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Once we're in the car I let them out of the carrier. They sit on my lap, top of my seat, or the dashboard or rear window and just pur up a storm while looking out the window
Hun, be really careful doing this. I know someone who lost their cat that way. They got into a crash just a few miles from home, her windscreen shattered and the cat took off out of the open window and was never found again. It's against the law to have animals lose in the car with you in most countries because of how dangerous it is.
 
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HunterDomino&Sphinx

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He wants to breed him....how? Is he going to advertise his cat as a stud service? That won't work, people only want to breed from registered pedigree cats. Is he planning to just let the cat out to roam around and mate with feral cats? Also a dreadful idea. His cat could get killed, lost, infected with FIV or FeLV or seriously injured in a cat fight.

Take the cat to the vet and get him fixed yourself. You'll be saving yourself a ton of problems and you'll probably be saving the cats life too.
Wow there's a reply button I just found 😅. He says he wants to find someone with a female he can mate it with. Why he wants to do this I have no idea. His cat is not pedigree, nor is it mixed with highland lynx and F4 savannah cats like mine. I feel it's stupid to want to breed cats. I only got mine because a friend breed them to be mousers for her barn. The pair costed me $150 which I justified paying for because we found a farm vet that would fix and provide all the vaccines to the mother and rest of the liter for $150. I felt paying for my cat's paid for the treatment of others so I did it. If it was paying for anything else I would just adopt from a shelter.
 
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HunterDomino&Sphinx

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Hun, be really careful doing this. I know someone who lost their cat that way. They got into a crash just a few miles from home, her windscreen shattered and the cat took off out of the open window and was never found again. It's against the law to have animals lose in the car with you in most countries because of how dangerous it is.
I drive extremely careful with them in the car and a accident is my biggest worry. That's why I only bring them for car rides during the day on back country roads where there aren't other drivers to hit me. We don't go daily anymore, but we do go a couple times a year so they can stay used to traveling in a car. I only started this because I was trying to train them to become support animals. They didn't take to a leash so I didn't make them support animals.
 

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Just a reminder: Cats in our care depend on us to treat them gently, with love and respect, and to do the right thing for them. The roomie situation sounds very bad. And as far as having a cat loose in a vehicle while driving, not only is it potentially dangerous for the cat, it's also potentially dangerous or lethal for the driver and any other passengers. All it takes if for the cat to get spooked and run down in the driver's foot portion of the car. PLEASE confine your cats to carriers when driving. As to the situation with the roomie, I would not want someone like that anywhere near me, much less in my home; but the CATS are who's important, and anything I could do to help them, I'd do.
 

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I had that exact thing happen! My cat was always calm and fine in the car, I never crated him. Then one day I was coming up to a stop sign on the highway and semis were coming, I went to step on the brake, something spooked him, and he ran and hid behind the brake pedal! I almost panicked, but reached under to my feet and pulled him out by whatever I could grab. I got stopped just as the semis went whizzing past. I have always put my cats in carriers ever since.
 

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Could I maybe add to the mix that being introduced to the intact cat may have reminded your own cats of their instinct to rough play. I would suggest allowing them to rough play. When you hear hissing, ignore it. Unless you're worried they are going to hurt each other, I would suggest to let them be comfortable doing what they want. With repeated loud, unsettling noises, this may have the unwanted effect of degrading the residents cats' comforts in their home.

My two female cats do hiss often, but they also play often. They've only been together barely two weeks. At first we reacted to the hissing. Both girls clearly became uncomfortable. Then we decided to just tolerate the hissing and ignore it. It seems to be working for our girls, they now freely play all day with just some hissing, swatting once in awhile (nothing that looks serious). So, I just thought I'd share.
 

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I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that this dude rents a garage that smells like cat piss to live in, yet he thinks he is in a position to breed cats. Unbelievable.
 
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HunterDomino&Sphinx

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I understand that driving with them not crated is not ideal, but I only do it one cat at a time. The roads I drive them on avoids highways and speed limits over 35 (vet trips they get crated because it requires the highway). They have never gotten spooked, and stay on my lap the majority of the ride. They enjoy it, and have enjoyed it since they were kittens 3 years ago. I am debating on stopping this due to the stories I've heard on here, but those have not been my experience personally.

I just had a long conversation with him and had a breakthrough. I found a clinic that will do the everything the cat needs for $70, & if he qualifies for a program it may be completely free. This guy is used to having feral cats that don't come inside. He's willing to change how he treats his cat, and time will tell if that'll happen. I don't enjoy living with him, but being 85% disabled and unemployed I needed help with the bills. My brother in law said he needed a place to live, and I had no idea that this would be what I'm dealing with. Until the eviction mandatoriam is lifted there is nothing I can do, and without a roommate I'm left to cover $1100 a month in bills on $600 income (I got my pets when my family was still living here and didn't foresee myself in this situation financially, I took over the family home after a death). Hopefully I get this job as a communications assistant for the deaf tomorrow when I go into the interview. It'll be enough to live on my own and get by. Don't worry my animals are vaccinated, fixed, and eat better than I do. Sometimes I will skip days I eat so I can afford their food and what they need. The minute they have to go without the necessities due to my poverty I will find them another home. Until then I love them, and they have helped me through extremely rough times. I don't know what I would do without them.

My house is a 6 bedroom single level ranch with a remodeled attached garage and basement. The garage has a hallway and 2 rooms in it, one of the rooms even having a loft. I wouldn't rent out an actual garage for someone to live in, who would want to live in a unfinished garage? I just call it a garage because that's what it was for much of my life. I do apologize for the confusion 😅

I do let them play, and understand cats play extremely rough with each other. I only separate them when the female hisses, swats, and runs away until she is cornered. When she's showing that type of behavior I feel she's saying leave me alone. After she has had 1 scratched eyeball I don't want to risk any other injury. Just 30 minutes ago they were chasing each other back and forth without any nervous behavior, vocally or physically. I let them play it out and now they're cuddling with each other sleeping it off. Once she's looking nervous is when I step in to separate them. It just baffles me because before the intact male moved in she was often the rougher one when playing, but now the male is the aggressor more often than not. I do believe it begins with him wanting to play when she doesn't, and then he lashes out because she hisses and swats at him. She just runs until she's cornered in the cat tower, the cat carrier, or to me for protection. At that point Sphinx can go play with 1 of the 200 toys I trip on around the house.

Thank you all for this advice and stories. This is very insightful to what's going on

I hope the feliway spray and that his cat getting neutered solves this.
 

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I understand that driving with them not crated is not ideal, but I only do it one cat at a time. The roads I drive them on avoids highways and speed limits over 35 (vet trips they get crated because it requires the highway). They have never gotten spooked, and stay on my lap the majority of the ride. They enjoy it, and have enjoyed it since they were kittens 3 years ago. I am debating on stopping this due to the stories I've heard on here, but those have not been my experience personally.

I just had a long conversation with him and had a breakthrough. I found a clinic that will do the everything the cat needs for $70, & if he qualifies for a program it may be completely free. This guy is used to having feral cats that don't come inside. He's willing to change how he treats his cat, and time will tell if that'll happen. I don't enjoy living with him, but being 85% disabled and unemployed I needed help with the bills. My brother in law said he needed a place to live, and I had no idea that this would be what I'm dealing with. Until the eviction mandatoriam is lifted there is nothing I can do, and without a roommate I'm left to cover $1100 a month in bills on $600 income (I got my pets when my family was still living here and didn't foresee myself in this situation financially, I took over the family home after a death). Hopefully I get this job as a communications assistant for the deaf tomorrow when I go into the interview. It'll be enough to live on my own and get by. Don't worry my animals are vaccinated, fixed, and eat better than I do. Sometimes I will skip days I eat so I can afford their food and what they need. The minute they have to go without the necessities due to my poverty I will find them another home. Until then I love them, and they have helped me through extremely rough times. I don't know what I would do without them.

My house is a 6 bedroom single level ranch with a remodeled attached garage and basement. The garage has a hallway and 2 rooms in it, one of the rooms even having a loft. I wouldn't rent out an actual garage for someone to live in, who would want to live in a unfinished garage? I just call it a garage because that's what it was for much of my life. I do apologize for the confusion 😅

I do let them play, and understand cats play extremely rough with each other. I only separate them when the female hisses, swats, and runs away until she is cornered. When she's showing that type of behavior I feel she's saying leave me alone. After she has had 1 scratched eyeball I don't want to risk any other injury. Just 30 minutes ago they were chasing each other back and forth without any nervous behavior, vocally or physically. I let them play it out and now they're cuddling with each other sleeping it off. Once she's looking nervous is when I step in to separate them. It just baffles me because before the intact male moved in she was often the rougher one when playing, but now the male is the aggressor more often than not. I do believe it begins with him wanting to play when she doesn't, and then he lashes out because she hisses and swats at him. She just runs until she's cornered in the cat tower, the cat carrier, or to me for protection. At that point Sphinx can go play with 1 of the 200 toys I trip on around the house.

Thank you all for this advice and stories. This is very insightful to what's going on

I hope the feliway spray and that his cat getting neutered solves this.
Wow, this is very, very good news! THANK YOU for speaking with your roomie and I pray he will follow up on all of the things he said he would do. I understand your situation, as I have to be very careful myself. My cats eat better than I do, too, and I wouldn't have it any other way *I eat quite well. But I'm mostly vegetarian and of course, meat costs more and that's what cats need to eat.*!
You have a big house! The first place I lived in when I left my family home was a (barely) converted garage with no insulation and not a lot of amenities.
Really hope and pray you get that job and that it's a good one for you.
 

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When I moved house from Killarney to Connemara at night to avoid city traffic, Boycat, who is a feline Houdini ,got out of his crate fast. I drove all the way with him under my seat as I was scared he would get out of the car. At the Limerick Tunnel Toll Plaza I sat there at 2 am like a lemon as I could not reach to pay … I have a disability sticker so pleaded insanity...He stayed under the seat all the way.
 
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