The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2021

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maggiedemi

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He's tripping!
It's probably for the best. Now that he blocked me, I never have to listen to his insults and condescending words again. When I asked for breakfast ideas on my Facebook wall because my dr. said that I had to start eating breakfast, he made fun of me for needing my dr's permission to eat. He's a lot like my mother. Mean.
 

MoonstoneWolf

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The lady with the feral cats is upset at me again because when she released the cat he took off and then didn't come back last night. She is a member on here but I doubt she even reads the posts. I did what I could and I understand the panic and all as I still panic over the ferals here but she goes into full panic if the cat/s are 5 minutes later then their usual time of showing up. She's also upset with the STLFCO as we give bad advice. So I'm not alone. Reminds me of my Mom who calls highway patrol if I'm 5 minutes late getting home. I always seem to pick toxic friendships for some reason. :(
 
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Babypinkweeb

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She is a member but refuses to come on here and read or ask advice. I'm really on verge of telling her I can't do this anymore.
I have no experience with ferals but lots with toxic friendships so I feel you! For your own sake sometimes it's best to cut ties, which can be hard for those of us who try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and lots of tolerance. I hope the situation will turn around for you.
 

MoonstoneWolf

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I have no experience with ferals but lots with toxic friendships so I feel you! For your own sake sometimes it's best to cut ties, which can be hard for those of us who try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and lots of tolerance. I hope the situation will turn around for you.
I'm given to constant worry and panic (with everything, not just the cats) as it is and am really trying to overcome it so I'm not sure if it's in the best interest for her or I to be in this type of friendship. I never met her in person although she lives 30 minute drive from me. We honestly started talking because I saw a photo she posted in the winter shelter group of her set up and noticed she used a Wyze cam so I messaged her with some tips on how to adjust the settings for a clearer video/photo. I repeatedly told her the cats came to be TNRd so I'm not sure why she looks to me for advice all the time on the TNR part. She should be going to our feral society for that. The cat was friendly to her after being fixed and I'm really thinking that it is someone's pet which rightfully should be back with the owner. But you really can't tell her much. She sits and gives cry emojis every 5 minutes, taking pills to calm herself etc. And she works at a hospital. I realize she's only 20 years old but still, you know? The cat shows after dark. It's dark from 7PM to 6AM in our neck of the woods. She's going into full panic mode at 9PM. I'm not sure if I can even help her. It surprises me because she comes from a Hindu faith and being in the Hare Krishna temple for several years back in the 80s (me not her) I know that Hindus pretty much detach from all of this. They do what they can but don't become overly attached.
 
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Babypinkweeb

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I'm given to constant worry and panic (with everything, not just the cats) as it is and am really trying to overcome it so I'm not sure if it's in the best interest for her or I to be in this type of friendship. I never met her in person although she lives 30 minute drive from me. We honestly started talking because I saw a photo she posted in the winter shelter group of her set up and noticed she used a Wyze cam so I messaged her with some tips on how to adjust the settings for a clearer video/photo. I repeatedly told her the cats came to be TNRd so I'm not sure why she looks to me for advice all the time. The cat was friendly to her after being fixed and I'm really thinking that it is someone's pet which rightfully should be back with the owner. But you really can't tell her much. She sits and gives cry emojis every 5 minutes, taking pills to calm herself etc. And she works at a hospital. I realize she's only 20 years old but still.
I am also a big worrywart and my gf thinks I probably have anxiety. When something goes even a little wrong I tend to get fixated on it, although all in my head as I don't want to bother others with my problems. I'm blunt so sorry if this sounds harsh, but I really really hate people who freak out and seek endless help yet never actually listens and tries to change their situation. I've been around people like that on both the "crying and freaking out" and "complaining all day" sides. It's not your responsibility to help them change, and they will likely never change until they decide themselves. If they are not really contributing to this friendship and just keep taking and taking from you, it's very unfair for you! I'm the type where if I decide I'm done with someone, I can cut emotional ties easily, but I understand that can be difficult for others. She sounds extremely exhausting, and hopefully she can find herself and mellow out in the future if she wants to keep any valuable and helpful friendships.
 

MoonstoneWolf

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I am also a big worrywart and my gf thinks I probably have anxiety. When something goes even a little wrong I tend to get fixated on it, although all in my head as I don't want to bother others with my problems. I'm blunt so sorry if this sounds harsh, but I really really hate people who freak out and seek endless help yet never actually listens and tries to change their situation. I've been around people like that on both the "crying and freaking out" and "complaining all day" sides. It's not your responsibility to help them change, and they will likely never change until they decide themselves. If they are not really contributing to this friendship and just keep taking and taking from you, it's very unfair for you! I'm the type where if I decide I'm done with someone, I can cut emotional ties easily, but I understand that can be difficult for others. She sounds extremely exhausting, and hopefully she can find herself and mellow out in the future if she wants to keep any valuable and helpful friendships.
I hope she does. I told her I won't have access to internet and phone this weekend. I need time to myself. I'm approaching the one year anniversary of the disappearance of my first feral cat, the one I bonded with. She was here one minute and gone the next. So this woman is not helping me any at all. I'm going on a year. Her feral was only missing 24 hours if even that long.
 

muffy

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My oldest brother, the rich one, blocked me on Facebook today. He posted that I should be respectful of my mother and that all she has ever done is try to help me and care about me. :rolleyes:
Ain't that some shit! He must be just like your mother. Some rich people are mean.
 
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dustydiamond1

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She is a member but refuses to come on here and read or ask advice. I'm really on verge of telling her I can't do this anymore.
That's a shame. She can find all the info and encouragement she needs here on TCS. You have enough on your plate dealing with the situations you have. Good luck, hang in there.
 
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