Do I need to rehome my cat? I am at a loss at this point...

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
So I’ll try to make a long story not so long.

I have two male cats, Merlin (7) and Meep (4). Over the last three years since we’ve adopted Meep, they have gotten along great. Until now.

Meep is easily triggered by noises, and redirects aggression when he is spooked. He took it out on Merlin late in September when something fell and crashed to the ground. A huge brawl ensued and they have been separated since.

I feel like we have tried everything. We have gone through the reintroduction process not once or twice, but three times at this point. We have Feliway, Meep has been taking Gabapentin, he has a calming collar on, and we have tried giving them adequate playtime so they aren’t bored.
As of late, they have been able to see each other during the day through a sort of wire door we made. They have been doing great, so we started feeding them in the same room together. They have had maybe 3 good sessions of that until this morning. My husband called me in tears saying the boys were eating together in the same room, and Meep attacked Merlin out of nowhere and without any trigger. My husband had to pin Meep down so that Merlin could escape and Meep shredded my husbands arm. They are separated again.

yall, we have been at this for almost three months. Things aren’t looking better. I’m about to see if I could put Meep on some Prozac because it feels like we walk on eggshells around him. He even tries to get after our dog when the dog isn’t doing anything to him. I’m just scared. I don’t want to give my baby up but I don’t know what to do anymore.
 

Jem

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 6, 2018
Messages
5,573
Purraise
11,246
Meep is easily triggered by noises, and redirects aggression when he is spooked. He took it out on Merlin late in September when something fell and crashed to the ground.
First, I'm so sorry this is happening, I went thru the same thing with my boy and it's so heart wrenching.
I have a few questions for you....

Has Meep always been easily spooked and this is just the first time he took it out on Merlin...or has Meep only just started to be easily spooked (since September), and took it out on Merlin?

I'm assuming Meep has been to the vet? What tests have they done on him?
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
First, I'm so sorry this is happening, I went thru the same thing with my boy and it's so heart wrenching.
I have a few questions for you....

Has Meep always been easily spooked and this is just the first time he took it out on Merlin...or has Meep only just started to be easily spooked (since September), and took it out on Merlin?

I'm assuming Meep has been to the vet? What tests have they done on him?
Hi, thank you for your questions!
Im sorry you have gone through this as well. It’s agonizing. Meep wasn’t always like this. I feel like when we first got him this wasn’t a problem. Over the years it has gotten this way and this isn’t the first time he has attacked from being scared. He has been to the vet, tests have been done...he is perfectly healthy.
 

susanm9006

Willow
Top Cat
Joined
Feb 20, 2011
Messages
13,151
Purraise
30,216
Location
Minnesota
Can you tell us more about what happens when Meep attacks Merlin? Has either actually gotten hurt? Is Merlin afraid of him? Does Merlin fight back?
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #5

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
Can you tell us more about what happens when Meep attacks Merlin? Has either actually gotten hurt? Is Merlin afraid of him? Does Merlin fight back?
Sure, I’ll tell you more. I think we catch them soon enough before they hurt each other. It’s mostly Merlin’s hair out in clumps on the floor. And Merlin I think is more trying to get away. He’s more of a submissive boy and not much of a fighter. Merlin does seem cautious around him now after getting attacked by him 3 times over the past few months.
 

flybear

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Nov 13, 2018
Messages
212
Purraise
280
i would take Meep to the vet and run some tests ... cats can get VERY aggressive and grouchy when they are sick .. UTI’s can be otherwise silent and so can many other cat health issues ... also test his hearing ... and for neurological issues as this can cause huge behavioral changes ... of there is nothing to be found ... yes ... I am believer in a harmonic household for humans and pets ... constant stress is toxic and I would contact a rescue and self foster ( meaning your cat could stay with you until an ideal new family can be found and be returned to you if things don’t work out ) . I have fostered many cats and there are some scenarios where the kindest thing for cats and people is a different home ... it doesn’t mean to abandon a pet ...I have seen cats that had a history of severe behavior relax just because they had a different environment ... big hug to you as this is a VERY heartbreaking and touch situation ... do everything possible to avert drastic measures but ... also know that you are a wonderful and loving cat owner regardless !
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #7

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
i would take Meep to the vet and run some tests ... cats can get VERY aggressive and grouchy when they are sick .. UTI’s can be otherwise silent and so can many other cat health issues ... also test his hearing ... and for neurological issues as this can cause huge behavioral changes ... of there is nothing to be found ... yes ... I am believer in a harmonic household for humans and pets ... constant stress is toxic and I would contact a rescue and self foster ( meaning your cat could stay with you until an ideal new family can be found and be returned to you if things don’t work out ) . I have fostered many cats and there are some scenarios where the kindest thing for cats and people is a different home ... it doesn’t mean to abandon a pet ...I have seen cats that had a history of severe behavior relax just because they had a different environment ... big hug to you as this is a VERY heartbreaking and touch situation ... do everything possible to avert drastic measures but ... also know that you are a wonderful and loving cat owner regardless !
Hey thank you for your response! Meep has gone to the vet and they did blood work and the works. They didn’t find anything abnormal with him. Should I take him back to do neurological stuff done? They said nothing about a UTI but he seems good going to the bathroom. I really hope I don’t have to rehome him. Thinking about it makes me want to burst into tears. We just don’t know what’s wrong with him or why it’s gotten this way. And yes it is stressful on everyone and I feel bad for them. Well except my lazy old dog. He could care less if the house collapsed all around him lol.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #8

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
i would take Meep to the vet and run some tests ... cats can get VERY aggressive and grouchy when they are sick .. UTI’s can be otherwise silent and so can many other cat health issues ... also test his hearing ... and for neurological issues as this can cause huge behavioral changes ... of there is nothing to be found ... yes ... I am believer in a harmonic household for humans and pets ... constant stress is toxic and I would contact a rescue and self foster ( meaning your cat could stay with you until an ideal new family can be found and be returned to you if things don’t work out ) . I have fostered many cats and there are some scenarios where the kindest thing for cats and people is a different home ... it doesn’t mean to abandon a pet ...I have seen cats that had a history of severe behavior relax just because they had a different environment ... big hug to you as this is a VERY heartbreaking and touch situation ... do everything possible to avert drastic measures but ... also know that you are a wonderful and loving cat owner regardless !
Is there anything We haven’t done that I should try? I want to cover every base I can with them to make sure I’ve done it all. Any suggestions would be amazing
 

fionasmom

Moderator
Staff Member
Moderator
Joined
Jun 21, 2014
Messages
13,114
Purraise
17,349
Location
Los Angeles
What were "the works"? I am wondering about something neurological or not uncovered in regular blood work. This is very frightening for all of you and I certainly sympathize with what is going on.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #10

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
What were "the works"? I am wondering about something neurological or not uncovered in regular blood work. This is very frightening for all of you and I certainly sympathize with what is going on.
Sorry by the works I meant everything blood related. At least that’s what I thought. I’ll give my vet a call in the morning to double check on what all was done last time he was in. Maybe it was just regular blood work and they didn’t dig deep enough. I will find out.
 

RufusGizmo

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Nov 2, 2017
Messages
389
Purraise
196
has the vet discussed meds at all? we have a cat who started attacking his tail when we moved and hit it several times. finally the vet put him on buspar and it calmed him considerably. i feel so bad for you especially since the were getting along so well. on a side we had an introduction of two older cats to two kites a that took over six months sometimes it just takes forever. i would suggest just a small amount of time together and do that for as long as it takes. good luck
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #12

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
has the vet discussed meds at all? we have a cat who started attacking his tail when we moved and hit it several times. finally the vet put him on buspar and it calmed him considerably. i feel so bad for you especially since the were getting along so well. on a side we had an introduction of two older cats to two kites a that took over six months sometimes it just takes forever. i would suggest just a small amount of time together and do that for as long as it takes. good luck
Yes right now little Meep is on Gabapentin, but my vet some some cats it works awesome and some it has no effect. They suggested Prozac after that. I hope it doesn’t take that long but I feel like at month 3 we have made no progress. It felt like we had done so well too! They had no problem pawing at each other at the wire gate and watching each other every now and then.
 

fionasmom

Moderator
Staff Member
Moderator
Joined
Jun 21, 2014
Messages
13,114
Purraise
17,349
Location
Los Angeles
My guess is that the test was a relatively routine blood test, for which I don't blame them, but it did not solve your problem. Thyroid is usually a separate test most places, and the bloodwork would not necessarily show anything neurological.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #14

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
My guess is that the test was a relatively routine blood test, for which I don't blame them, but it did not solve your problem. Thyroid is usually a separate test most places, and the bloodwork would not necessarily show anything neurological.
What kind of tests do they do for neurology? I will definitely see if they can do more tests than.
 

FeebysOwner

TCS Member
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Jun 13, 2018
Messages
22,429
Purraise
33,188
Location
Central FL (Born in OH)
But, do make sure they also did (or, will do) a Chemistry Profile which could identify some sort of chemical/enzyme imbalance. I don't know what would necessarily cause aggression from that perspective, but it is certainly something to discuss with the vet.

Also, not all calming products work on all cats, so Meep may not be impacted by Feliway or the calming collar. There are other calming products you could try, just do an internet search on 'cat calming products' to see if there are some others you might want to buy. I know it doesn't sound like it might work, but have you considered cat music? It might help to drown out other noises that could spook him. It could even help to desensitize him to other noises. Courtesy of Furballsmom Furballsmom : there's Cat In My Arms on spotify and elsewhere, youtube has hours-long compilations of relaxing cat music, and there's also RelaxMyCat and MusicForCats.

Is there any chance an outdoor cat is upsetting Meep? Cats can sense them, even if we can't.

Maybe some information in this article to talk with your vet about?
The Neurologic Evaluation in Cats - Cat Owners - Veterinary Manual (msdvetmanual.com)
 

Boris Diamond

Cat Valet
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 27, 2015
Messages
27,151
Purraise
15,940
I have a cat that attacked and bit another cat, requiring a trip to the vet. There was great upset and aggression when those two were together. I have separated them for months. One thing that seems to make a difference is a pheromone collar on the aggressor. Pheromone diffusers are nice, but to be effective they need to be in most of the areas that the cat goes. The collar is always where the cat is. The two cats have been face to face with no attack or growling recently.

The collar has made the one wearing it calmer (and more affectionate!) I do not know if it would work in your situation, but it is inexpensive to try. The collar I use is $16.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #18

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
But, do make sure they also did (or, will do) a Chemistry Profile which could identify some sort of chemical/enzyme imbalance. I don't know what would necessarily cause aggression from that perspective, but it is certainly something to discuss with the vet.

Also, not all calming products work on all cats, so Meep may not be impacted by Feliway or the calming collar. There are other calming products you could try, just do an internet search on 'cat calming products' to see if there are some others you might want to buy. I know it doesn't sound like it might work, but have you considered cat music? It might help to drown out other noises that could spook him. It could even help to desensitize him to other noises. Courtesy of Furballsmom Furballsmom : there's Cat In My Arms on spotify and elsewhere, youtube has hours-long compilations of relaxing cat music, and there's also RelaxMyCat and MusicForCats.

Is there any chance an outdoor cat is upsetting Meep? Cats can sense them, even if we can't.

Maybe some information in this article to talk with your vet about?
The Neurologic Evaluation in Cats - Cat Owners - Veterinary Manual (msdvetmanual.com)
Hi there. I will ask the vet tomorrow about doing a Chemistry Profile. Anything helps.

I actually do put music on, every day. It doesn’t seem to affect them in any way. And the noise thing wouldn’t be such an issue if it was only loud noises. It’s not, it’s whatever will scare him. So a lawnmower can be going outside and he has no issue but a little shuffling on the carpet or tiny thud on the door? All ears.
And we don’t have any cats nearby. I’ve taken walks and there are a couple in the neighborhood, but not anywhere near our house.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #19

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
I have a cat that attacked and bit another cat, requiring a trip to the vet. There was great upset and aggression when those two were together. I have separated them for months. One thing that seems to make a difference is a pheromone collar on the aggressor. Pheromone diffusers are nice, but to be effective they need to be in most of the areas that the cat goes. The collar is always where the cat is. The two cats have been face to face with no attack or growling recently.

The collar has made the one wearing it calmer (and more affectionate!) I do not know if it would work in your situation, but it is inexpensive to try. The collar I use is $16.
Which brand collar us it? Meep is wearing a calming collar, it’s the Sentry brand. Maybe I need a stronger one?
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #20

Jessica_Merlin_Meep

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
53
Purraise
38
This can’t be good for my cats mental health either, being locked away half the day every day with no one, screaming their heads off for attention. My husband and I have slept separate since the first incident in September. We are both mentally drained and stressed.
 
Top