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Beyond Confused

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Not always, and I think attack is a strong word here.

This is one of the first times Indy has had a chance (from his perspective) to interact with an interesting "other cat". The fact that he was so easily distracted by the rattle ball says to me that he doesn't have bad intentions towards Duncan.

Also, that Duncan himself came out and was his normal loving self in such an incredibly short period of time after Indy left the vicinity speaks huge volumes about a positive atmosphere.


Agree with Furballsmom Furballsmom Furballsmom Furballsmom . I don't think always will pursue either. They can take time to adjust when first getting together and having it be longer encounters to figure each other out- and as above Duncan recovered very quickly! And has had cat experience with Admiral in the past.

Thank you. That eases my mind a bit. I'm sure you're right, I just really want this to work out.
 

calicosrspecial

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Thursday night:

I feel like tonight wasn't as successful as the other few times.

It started off as normal - both eating. After a couple minutes, Duncan came over for head scratches and then parked himself on the right side of the coffee table.
Here's the layout -
LR/hallway door and directly ahead is where Indy's bowl is.
My recliner, and where I sit during these intros is to the right of that by a foot and a half or so.
Slightly ahead/to the right of the recliner is the coffee table. That sits about 4 feet away from Indy's food bowl.

The coffee table is a 2 level table, in other words, there's a lower shelf.

So Duncan sat on the right side of the coffee table, peering between the levels, watching Indy.
Indy would come over for a head scratch or to see what Duncan was doing, and I'd direct him back to his bowl. After a couple minutes, he walked straight ahead in the LR out to the front entryway. He sniffed around for a minute or so and then made his way back.

Eventually, he made his way to the coffee table, and the stare downs began. First, he made his way around the coffee table to Duncan and raised a paw/took a swing at Duncan. I managed to redirect. Then, he climbed on the shelf and made his way over to Duncan...who, naturally, was still growling up a storm.

Then, Indy slid out from the shelf and laid on the ground (opposite side of the coffee table). Duncan continued growling.

Indy then decided on an aerial attack, jumping up on the coffee table to get to Duncan. Duncan ran toward the dining room, and Indy was in hot pursuit.

When I got out there, Duncan was sitting between the 4 legs of a dining room chair, growling, and Indy was nearby, watching him. Indy laid down and continued staring.

At this point, I'd decided Duncan had had enough, so I grabbed the rattle ball, tossed it into the hallway, and Indy raced to chase it down.

I got Indy settled back down in the bedroom/hallway area, and then I went to check on Duncan. He was still sitting under the dining room chair, so I sat on the ground for a minute and rubbed his head. I came back out to the LR and sat in the recliner. Maybe a minute or 2 later, he was walking out toward me. I put my hand down, called him, and he came trotting right over. I scratched his head, and then he hopped up on the arm of the recliner. He's on the other arm now. He seems calm and right back to being my typical sweet boy.

I worry that Indy is always going to want to attack or pursue Duncan. If he wants Duncan to like him, he sure didn't win any points tonight!
"Thursday night: I feel like tonight wasn't as successful as the other few times." - Ok

"It started off as normal - both eating." - Great.

"After a couple minutes, Duncan came over for head scratches and then parked himself on the right side of the coffee table." - Yep, expected.

"Here's the layout -
LR/hallway door and directly ahead is where Indy's bowl is.
My recliner, and where I sit during these intros is to the right of that by a foot and a half or so.
Slightly ahead/to the right of the recliner is the coffee table. That sits about 4 feet away from Indy's food bowl.
The coffee table is a 2 level table, in other words, there's a lower shelf." - Great, thank you for giving a picture.

"So Duncan sat on the right side of the coffee table, peering between the levels, watching Indy." - Ok. That is definitely intriguing to a cat like Indy. When I use a toy I will do that.

"Indy would come over for a head scratch or to see what Duncan was doing, and I'd direct him back to his bowl." - Perfect.

"After a couple minutes, he walked straight ahead in the LR out to the front entryway. He sniffed around for a minute or so and then made his way back." - Great. I expected Indy to see Duncan and get interested.

"Eventually, he made his way to the coffee table, and the stare downs began." - Yep, expected.

"First, he made his way around the coffee table to Duncan and raised a paw/took a swing at Duncan." - Ok, interesting.

"I managed to redirect." - GREAT!!!

"Then, he climbed on the shelf and made his way over to Duncan...who, naturally, was still growling up a storm." - Yeah, it is intriguing to a cat.

"Then, Indy slid out from the shelf and laid on the ground (opposite side of the coffee table)." - VERY positive. This is really important. Indy showing he is not a threat. This tells me the paw/taking a swing before was pretty innocent. Probably play.

"Duncan continued growling." - That is fine. The fact Duncan is not attacking him tells me it is just communication. And the fact Indy is not attacking is positive. The fact it doesn't escalate is very positive.

"Indy then decided on an aerial attack, jumping up on the coffee table to get to Duncan." - Ok, I am guessing it is play. What is your sense?

"Duncan ran toward the dining room, and Indy was in hot pursuit." - Ok, this tells me Duncan is still having some trust issues. Which is normal. It was going faster than I expected. This is why we do this. Indy would naturally follow as Duncan is acting like prey. I am 99.9% sure Indy was in it for fun. But I'll see what happens next.

"When I got out there, Duncan was sitting between the 4 legs of a dining room chair, growling, and Indy was nearby, watching him." - Ok, this is actually really good. Duncan stopped AND Indy did not attack. Nor did Duncan attack Indy. This is really good. I expected a "dust-up".

"Indy laid down and continued staring." - GREAT. Neutral to maybe submissive to some degree. Which helps Duncan trust.

"At this point, I'd decided Duncan had had enough, so I grabbed the rattle ball, tossed it into the hallway, and Indy raced to chase it down. " - GREAT job!!! And I LOVE that Indy chose ball play over Duncan.

If there were issues this would not have happened. All of this. No fight after the chase. Indy chose play of confrontation. These experiences are actually trust building for Duncan. Duncan was not hurt.

"I got Indy settled back down in the bedroom/hallway area," - Great.

" and then I went to check on Duncan. He was still sitting under the dining room chair, so I sat on the ground for a minute and rubbed his head." - Great. Reassurance which builds his trust and confidence.

"I came back out to the LR and sat in the recliner. Maybe a minute or 2 later, he was walking out toward me. I put my hand down, called him, and he came trotting right over. I scratched his head, and then he hopped up on the arm of the recliner. He's on the other arm now. He seems calm and right back to being my typical sweet boy." - YES!!! FAST rebound. That tells me he wasn't that worried about it. I figured that but it is GREAT to hear!!

"I worry that Indy is always going to want to attack or pursue Duncan." - I don't think you have to worry. This was a big test and they passed. There was no fight, Indy was distracted.

We do need to continue building Duncan's confidence. Play, Food, Height and Love. So if you can step up play in the living room. Other than that keep doing what you are doing.

"If he wants Duncan to like him, he sure didn't win any points tonight!" - Well, I hear you. But I get a sense Indy means no harm and wanted to play. A cat will pretty much always be intrigued by something (another cat) peeking around and then running away.

BUT I LOVE that there really wasn't anything negative (serious batting, fight, etc) AND Duncan rebounded quickly which tells me that maybe in the moment he was uncertain he didn't have a lingering impact. I think your handling and response were excellent and helped the situation a lot.

I think Furballsmom and Pearl are exactly right.

"I just really want this to work out." - Don't worry, it will. I am not at all worried. In fact, it is going faster than I ever imagined. I am extremely happy at the progress. They will be intro successfully.
 

Beyond Confused

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Friday night:

It's a mixed bag.

They both ate, as normal, and then Indy decided he was going to go up to Duncan whether he liked it or not. They touched noses, and Duncan was either hissing or growling. I rattled a toy, and Indy came right over, Duncan headed for the dining room and sat under the chair.

The next 10+ minutes, Indy either played with toys or explored the living room/entryway.

Then, he decided to check on Duncan again to make sure Duncan still wasn't fond of him. He pulled up behind Duncan, whose tail was stretched out behind him. Duncan sat with his back to Indy, but his head was turned back over his shoulder, eyes on Indy. Duncan growled, and Indy hit the floor. Every time Duncan would growl, Indy would tilt his head, as if he was trying to understand what Duncan was saying to him. After a minute or so, and since I didn't have a toy to distract him already in hand, I picked Indy up and took him back to the living room.

He played some more, ate some more...and then went back to the dining room. He walked right up to a hissing Duncan, started hissing back, and then they both took swipes at each other. At this point, I decided play time was done. Somehow, I got him out of there. I think I had a toy that I tossed into the LR, and then I picked him up and put him back in the hallway.

Duncan has already been over for a head scratch, so I'm pretty sure he's fine.
 

calicosrspecial

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Friday night:

It's a mixed bag.

They both ate, as normal, and then Indy decided he was going to go up to Duncan whether he liked it or not. They touched noses, and Duncan was either hissing or growling. I rattled a toy, and Indy came right over, Duncan headed for the dining room and sat under the chair.

The next 10+ minutes, Indy either played with toys or explored the living room/entryway.

Then, he decided to check on Duncan again to make sure Duncan still wasn't fond of him. He pulled up behind Duncan, whose tail was stretched out behind him. Duncan sat with his back to Indy, but his head was turned back over his shoulder, eyes on Indy. Duncan growled, and Indy hit the floor. Every time Duncan would growl, Indy would tilt his head, as if he was trying to understand what Duncan was saying to him. After a minute or so, and since I didn't have a toy to distract him already in hand, I picked Indy up and took him back to the living room.

He played some more, ate some more...and then went back to the dining room. He walked right up to a hissing Duncan, started hissing back, and then they both took swipes at each other. At this point, I decided play time was done. Somehow, I got him out of there. I think I had a toy that I tossed into the LR, and then I picked him up and put him back in the hallway.

Duncan has already been over for a head scratch, so I'm pretty sure he's fine.
"They both ate, as normal" - Great. Did Indy finish all his food?

"and then Indy decided he was going to go up to Duncan whether he liked it or not." - Yep, Indy wants to be friends.

"They touched noses" - Great, they do that to understand who they are.

" and Duncan was either hissing or growling." - Expected.

"I rattled a toy, and Indy came right over" - GREAT!! Great job on distracting and great that Indy was able to be distracted. This shows Duncan Indy doesn't intend something negative.

"Duncan headed for the dining room and sat under the chair." - Great. Did he walk normal?

"The next 10+ minutes, Indy either played with toys or explored the living room/entryway." - AWESOME!!!!

"Then, he decided to check on Duncan again to make sure Duncan still wasn't fond of him. He pulled up behind Duncan, whose tail was stretched out behind him. Duncan sat with his back to Indy, but his head was turned back over his shoulder, eyes on Indy. Duncan growled, and Indy hit the floor." - Indy is trying so hard to tell Duncan he doesn't mean harm. :/

"Every time Duncan would growl, Indy would tilt his head, as if he was trying to understand what Duncan was saying to him. After a minute or so, and since I didn't have a toy to distract him already in hand, I picked Indy up and took him back to the living room." - Ok, great. I expected an encounter here.

"He played some more, ate some more..." - Great.

"and then went back to the dining room. He walked right up to a hissing Duncan, started hissing back, and then they both took swipes at each other." - Ok, yep, that is what I was expecting, just took longer than I would have thought (which actually is good).

Sounds like the swipes didn't land and that it didn't escalate (which is great). They have respect and know where the line is.

"At this point, I decided play time was done. Somehow, I got him out of there. I think I had a toy that I tossed into the LR, and then I picked him up and put him back in the hallway." - Ok, good avoiding a negative is a positive.

"Duncan has already been over for a head scratch, so I'm pretty sure he's fine." - Great, so Duncan doesn't seem like he was that bothered.

When Indy and Duncan are focused on each other are you able to get Duncan's attention off Indy?

So, may be it is a "mixed bag" but definitely much more positive than negative. The positives are they can get along (eating, Indy playing), Indy shows he means no harm, it doesn't escalate, Indy is able to be distracted, they know the line/respect each other, fast rebound for Duncan. Negative is the swatting. So technically it is a "mixed bag" but I would say it tells me they are basically 95+% accepting (Duncan is still learning to trust). We just need to get Duncan a bit more confidence and to trust that final hurdle and we are done. We will get there.

So keep doing what you are doing. Maybe feel free to step in a bit faster to distract Indy, reassure Duncan (and try to get him to look at you if Indy is there). And if you can get attention on Duncan and let Indy explore that might be helpful (but only if you are safe and not at risk of being hurt).

How similar is this to what was going on with Admiral and Duncan (later in their relationship)? I realize Admiral and Duncan would wrestle etc so not really the same but what leads up to it.

Great job.
 

Beyond Confused

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Saturday night:

I feel like we're moving backwards here.

I put Duncan's bowl down, before letting Indy in the LR. Duncan had been running right to his bowl, but this time, he peered around the dining room corner, looking for Indy. After a minute or so, he gingerly made his way to his bowl.

Once he was eating, I opened the LR door, and Indy came out, went straight to his bowl.

Duncan ate and then went to "hide" in the dark entryway. Indy continued eating for another couple minutes, and then he made his way over to the entryway. Naturally, Duncan started hissing and growling.
I distracted Indy with the fishing pole toy, but he was somewhat interested in Duncan. I kept trying to move him away from the area Duncan where Duncan was. It worked for a couple minutes, but then he went right back there. Duncan started hissing and growling again. I tried to get Indy away with a toy, but before I knew it, he had sprung to life and went after Duncan. Duncan was hissing and growling and they were swatting. Duncan raced out of the entryway, and Indy was in pursuit.

Somehow, I got Indy away from Duncan and back into the LR. I picked him up and put him back in the bathroom with his food bowl.
I went to check on Duncan, who was sitting under the dining room table. He kind of cried when I picked him up, but I hugged on him. When I let him go, he hopped on the arm of the recliner and sat there a couple minutes. He's back to eating now.

These little spats seem to be getting worse, and I'm less able to distract Indy. :angrywoman:
 

calicosrspecial

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Saturday night:

I feel like we're moving backwards here.

I put Duncan's bowl down, before letting Indy in the LR. Duncan had been running right to his bowl, but this time, he peered around the dining room corner, looking for Indy. After a minute or so, he gingerly made his way to his bowl.

Once he was eating, I opened the LR door, and Indy came out, went straight to his bowl.

Duncan ate and then went to "hide" in the dark entryway. Indy continued eating for another couple minutes, and then he made his way over to the entryway. Naturally, Duncan started hissing and growling.
I distracted Indy with the fishing pole toy, but he was somewhat interested in Duncan. I kept trying to move him away from the area Duncan where Duncan was. It worked for a couple minutes, but then he went right back there. Duncan started hissing and growling again. I tried to get Indy away with a toy, but before I knew it, he had sprung to life and went after Duncan. Duncan was hissing and growling and they were swatting. Duncan raced out of the entryway, and Indy was in pursuit.

Somehow, I got Indy away from Duncan and back into the LR. I picked him up and put him back in the bathroom with his food bowl.
I went to check on Duncan, who was sitting under the dining room table. He kind of cried when I picked him up, but I hugged on him. When I let him go, he hopped on the arm of the recliner and sat there a couple minutes. He's back to eating now.

These little spats seem to be getting worse, and I'm less able to distract Indy. :angrywoman:
"I feel like we're moving backwards here." - Ok, let's see.

"I put Duncan's bowl down, before letting Indy in the LR. Duncan had been running right to his bowl, but this time, he peered around the dining room corner, looking for Indy." - Ok, yes, caution. SO maybe there was more lingering concern than we thought.

"After a minute or so, he gingerly made his way to his bowl." - OK, good. As long as nothing negative happened here it is a positive.

"Once he was eating, I opened the LR door, and Indy came out, went straight to his bowl." - Perfect!!

"Duncan ate" - SO Duncan did not react negatively when Indy came out? If so, great.

'and then went to "hide" in the dark entryway." - Did Indy do anything negative to cause this?

"Indy continued eating for another couple minutes" - Ok, great. SO I am guessing Indy did not do anything to cause Duncan's concerns.

" and then he made his way over to the entryway. Naturally, Duncan started hissing and growling." - Yep, expected on both.

"I distracted Indy with the fishing pole toy" - Great.

", but he was somewhat interested in Duncan." - Ok. How was Indy's body language?

' I kept trying to move him away from the area Duncan where Duncan was. It worked for a couple minutes, but then he went right back there." - Ok, how was his body language here?

"Duncan started hissing and growling again. I tried to get Indy away with a toy, but before I knew it, he had sprung to life and went after Duncan. Duncan was hissing and growling and they were swatting." - Ok, Indy started getting defensive from the growling. Going forward for the time being we'll have to stop the session before this. It is good it didn't happen right away so I am not too surprised or worried about eventually it happening but we'll want to avoid this going forward to keep Duncan more confident which will help.

"Duncan raced out of the entryway, and Indy was in pursuit." - Ughhhhhhh, yep. Yeah, we need to rebuild Duncan's trust. So we will do shorter sessions and try to avoid negatives as much as possible and observe Duncan's body language.

"Somehow, I got Indy away from Duncan and back into the LR." - Ok, good.

" I picked him up and put him back in the bathroom with his food bowl." - Ok, or you can jsut get him back in the bedroom or behind the gate.

"I went to check on Duncan, who was sitting under the dining room table. He kind of cried when I picked him up" - What was his body language like? Was he more shaken up by this encounter than the previous? I suspect yes. So we will have to keep it short and as positive as possible. Same place, same way to start just end it earlier.

" but I hugged on him. When I let him go, he hopped on the arm of the recliner and sat there a couple minutes. He's back to eating now." - Wow, GREAT!!! You are a big part of his confidence. Which is really good and will be very helpful.

"These little spats seem to be getting worse, and I'm less able to distract Indy." - Yes, a touch worse. We'll readjust on only the timing to rebuild Duncan's trust. So we'll feed in the same place, use yourself (safely) to help Duncan feel more secure. End the session sooner on a positive note. Do some love in those areas Duncan is having the most trouble (while Indy is away in the bedroom. I want to build Duncan's confidence in those areas using you (without Indy being around).

There are always ups and downs so this is entirely manageable. We'll see how Duncan's confidence rebounds in the next few days and move forward from there.
 

Beyond Confused

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"I put Duncan's bowl down, before letting Indy in the LR. Duncan had been running right to his bowl, but this time, he peered around the dining room corner, looking for Indy." - Ok, yes, caution. SO maybe there was more lingering concern than we thought.
He ate as soon as I moved his bowl a little further back.


"Duncan ate" - SO Duncan did not react negatively when Indy came out? If so, great.
Duncan didn't seem to pay any attention to Indy at this point.


'and then went to "hide" in the dark entryway." - Did Indy do anything negative to cause this?
Does the fact that Indy lives and breathes count? ;)



", but he was somewhat interested in Duncan." - Ok. How was Indy's body language?
Initially, he was just interested, but eventually, when he finally did go after Duncan (below), he was in the pounce position.


"Duncan started hissing and growling again. I tried to get Indy away with a toy, but before I knew it, he had sprung to life and went after Duncan. Duncan was hissing and growling and they were swatting." - Ok, Indy started getting defensive from the growling. Going forward for the time being we'll have to stop the session before this. It is good it didn't happen right away so I am not too surprised or worried about eventually it happening but we'll want to avoid this going forward to keep Duncan more confident which will help.



"Duncan raced out of the entryway, and Indy was in pursuit." - Ughhhhhhh, yep. Yeah, we need to rebuild Duncan's trust. So we will do shorter sessions and try to avoid negatives as much as possible and observe Duncan's body language.
OK.


" I picked him up and put him back in the bathroom with his food bowl." - Ok, or you can jsut get him back in the bedroom or behind the gate.
Yeah, but I was over the drama at that point, so he went back in the bathroom, behind a closed door.


"I went to check on Duncan, who was sitting under the dining room table. He kind of cried when I picked him up" - What was his body language like? Was he more shaken up by this encounter than the previous? I suspect yes. So we will have to keep it short and as positive as possible. Same place, same way to start just end it earlier.
He was just sitting there, but when I went out there, he let out a little cry.


"These little spats seem to be getting worse, and I'm less able to distract Indy." - Yes, a touch worse. We'll readjust on only the timing to rebuild Duncan's trust. So we'll feed in the same place, use yourself (safely) to help Duncan feel more secure. End the session sooner on a positive note. Do some love in those areas Duncan is having the most trouble (while Indy is away in the bedroom. I want to build Duncan's confidence in those areas using you (without Indy being around).
OK



Sunday morning:
I didn't do the intros because I'm being a complete slacker this morning. Plus, one time a day seems to be plenty at this point.
I've been hanging out in bed, reading the news and stuff, so I allowed Indy to roam between the bedroom/bath/hallway. At times he was a pest with me, wanting my breakfast, walking across my keyboard, etc. Other times, he was playing with his toys.
Then, there were times when it seemed like they were playing on either side of the door and gate. I could hear Duncan meowing, which sounded like normal meows. At one point, I went out of the hallway/LR door, and Duncan was right on the other side. He raced around to the gate, and Indy went to the gate. They didn't appear to be fighting. Indy alternated between playing with toys and playing footsie with Duncan. This went on for a long time this morning. Eventually, though, I heard Duncan started to get riled up, hissing, etc, so Indy went back in the bathroom, and I opened the LR/hallway door. At this moment, Duncan is curled up next to me, snoring. :catlove:
He's been fine ever since I put Indy back in the bathroom and opened the door, no lingering stress. As soon as I came out, he started following me everywhere - kitchen, half bath, bedroom. So he's been fine.
 

calicosrspecial

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He ate as soon as I moved his bowl a little further back.




Duncan didn't seem to pay any attention to Indy at this point.




Does the fact that Indy lives and breathes count? ;)





Initially, he was just interested, but eventually, when he finally did go after Duncan (below), he was in the pounce position.




OK.




Yeah, but I was over the drama at that point, so he went back in the bathroom, behind a closed door.




He was just sitting there, but when I went out there, he let out a little cry.




OK



Sunday morning:
I didn't do the intros because I'm being a complete slacker this morning. Plus, one time a day seems to be plenty at this point.
I've been hanging out in bed, reading the news and stuff, so I allowed Indy to roam between the bedroom/bath/hallway. At times he was a pest with me, wanting my breakfast, walking across my keyboard, etc. Other times, he was playing with his toys.
Then, there were times when it seemed like they were playing on either side of the door and gate. I could hear Duncan meowing, which sounded like normal meows. At one point, I went out of the hallway/LR door, and Duncan was right on the other side. He raced around to the gate, and Indy went to the gate. They didn't appear to be fighting. Indy alternated between playing with toys and playing footsie with Duncan. This went on for a long time this morning. Eventually, though, I heard Duncan started to get riled up, hissing, etc, so Indy went back in the bathroom, and I opened the LR/hallway door. At this moment, Duncan is curled up next to me, snoring. :catlove:
He's been fine ever since I put Indy back in the bathroom and opened the door, no lingering stress. As soon as I came out, he started following me everywhere - kitchen, half bath, bedroom. So he's been fine.
"He ate as soon as I moved his bowl a little further back." - Great.

"Duncan didn't seem to pay any attention to Indy at this point." - Great. Perfect.

"Does the fact that Indy lives and breathes count? ;) " - Hahahahaha. Indy is actually doing everything needed. We just have Duncan not trusting. Some cats are like that (my boy is like that and it is frustrating on intros). I see a fair amount of cats like that for many reasons. We will get Duncan there.

"Initially, he was just interested, but eventually, when he finally did go after Duncan (below), he was in the pounce position." - Great on the initial body language. If we had a real problem that would not be the initial reaction. So that is why I am not worried. Now, the pounce position can be a play or a more defensive/aggressive position. I see those all the time. The fact it was pretty "mild" swatting (meaning no real serious aggression) tells me it isn't that worrying.

"Yeah, but I was over the drama at that point, so he went back in the bathroom, behind a closed door." - Understandable. It is hard in the heat of the moment. Cats are territorial so we need to be careful in taking territory "away" as it can create some negativity. Now, Indy is not fully "owning" the LR so the risk isn't too high but it is something I tend to try to be cognizant of.

"He was just sitting there, but when I went out there, he let out a little cry." - Ok, good. So not too bad it sounds. Was the cry kinda of a "hey, Mom, I need a little love"?

"Sunday morning: I didn't do the intros because I'm being a complete slacker this morning." - Hahahaha, slacker is not a word I associate with you at all. That is not a problem. Totally fine and in fact might be a touch helpful to have a little break.

"Plus, one time a day seems to be plenty at this point." - That is fine. What ever you feel most comfortable with. The main thing is positive associations and making every encounter as positive as possible. And since Duncan is so close to you having you as calm, confident and positive as possible will be helpful for Duncan.

It really is all about Duncan and building his confidence. Indy is doing great, everything he should be doing. We just need to boost Duncan over that last hurdle and we'll be set.

"I've been hanging out in bed, reading the news and stuff, so I allowed Indy to roam between the bedroom/bath/hallway. At times he was a pest with me, wanting my breakfast, walking across my keyboard, etc. Other times, he was playing with his toys." - GREAT. Hahahaha, pest, yep. I have a few of those!!! Including one right now doing the keyboard thing!! And the headbutting hands, etc. But back to what is important, that is exactly the right thing to do. Though I do think Indy's confidence is great.

"Then, there were times when it seemed like they were playing on either side of the door and gate. I could hear Duncan meowing, which sounded like normal meows. At one point, I went out of the hallway/LR door, and Duncan was right on the other side. He raced around to the gate, and Indy went to the gate. They didn't appear to be fighting. Indy alternated between playing with toys and playing footsie with Duncan. This went on for a long time this morning." - Wow, that is great. I didn't expect that. This is really positive.

"Eventually, though, I heard Duncan started to get riled up, hissing, etc," - Ok. Do you think Duncan wanted you?

"so Indy went back in the bathroom" - Did you put him in there or did he go in on his own?

"and I opened the LR/hallway door. At this moment, Duncan is curled up next to me, snoring. :catlove: " - Ahhhhh, I think you answered my question. He wanted you. Pretty sweet!!!

"He's been fine ever since I put Indy back in the bathroom and opened the door, no lingering stress." - GREAT!!! If there were issues this would not be happening.

" As soon as I came out, he started following me everywhere - kitchen, half bath, bedroom. So he's been fine." - Awwwwwwww, he loves!!!

He is so close. His love for you is going to be really important so we are going to use that to build his confidence. Give him that extra love and attention.

Thanks for the update. This is not only helpful but really positive. It tells me that there is not a lingering concern so the seriousness of it is not that concerning. Actually very normal in intros. I am not wavering in my confidence.
 

Beyond Confused

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"Eventually, though, I heard Duncan started to get riled up, hissing, etc," - Ok. Do you think Duncan wanted you?
Hmmm...could be a mix of that and Indy had overstayed his welcome.


"so Indy went back in the bathroom" - Did you put him in there or did he go in on his own?
I put him in there.


Thanks for the update. This is not only helpful but really positive. It tells me that there is not a lingering concern so the seriousness of it is not that concerning. Actually very normal in intros. I am not wavering in my confidence.
Good, because I definitely question how it's going from time to time.
It just blows my mind that some people just put two cats together, and it's magic. I'm absolutely jealous of that.
 

calicosrspecial

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Hmmm...could be a mix of that and Indy had overstayed his welcome.




I put him in there.




Good, because I definitely question how it's going from time to time.
It just blows my mind that some people just put two cats together, and it's magic. I'm absolutely jealous of that.
"Hmmm...could be a mix of that and Indy had overstayed his welcome." - Fair enough.

"I put him in there." - Ok, that is fine.

"Good, because I definitely question how it's going from time to time." - Yes, it is hard to know the nuance when a person hasn't had the gamut of experience. I have pretty much seen it all.

"It just blows my mind that some people just put two cats together, and it's magic. I'm absolutely jealous of that." - That is much more rare than you may think. Your sample size is lucky in my experience. I don't know the stats but I don't hear a lot of that. A lot of people call it a success if there isn't blood. Problem is the underlying distrust becomes an issue later on. I deal with a lot of people that did that, thought they had success and I get called in to deal with the marking, fighting, etc. A lot of re-intros and once negativity and distrust gets ingrained it is harder to get out. It is so much easier to get called in at first to start from a neutral state rather than one with deep seated distrust and fear. You are definitely doing it the right way.

You are a lot closer than you may realize to getting them intro'd.
 
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Beyond Confused

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Sunday night:
No meet and greet tonight. Duncan literally slept in my bed all day. I had to take his medicine and probiotics in to him because he was being a lazy boy today. It was a gloomy one, so he had the right idea. After this morning's hissing match, though, it might be a good night for a break. We'll try again tomorrow night.
 

calicosrspecial

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Sunday night:
No meet and greet tonight. Duncan literally slept in my bed all day. I had to take his medicine and probiotics in to him because he was being a lazy boy today. It was a gloomy one, so he had the right idea. After this morning's hissing match, though, it might be a good night for a break. We'll try again tomorrow night.
That is fine. And understandable.

Just want to make sure that you are not seeing any negative health issues. Correct? And no behavioral changes? Walking more cautiously, hiding, not eating, etc.

Today just keep it short, keep it positive. If you feel safe and at no risk of any injury etc you may want to consider reassuring Duncan when Indy is out. So some love for him. Just to give him a boost of confidence. But only if you feel you have no risk of being hurt in any way,
 

Beyond Confused

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Just want to make sure that you are not seeing any negative health issues. Correct? And no behavioral changes? Walking more cautiously, hiding, not eating, etc.
No, they're both acting normal.


Today just keep it short, keep it positive. If you feel safe and at no risk of any injury etc you may want to consider reassuring Duncan when Indy is out. So some love for him. Just to give him a boost of confidence. But only if you feel you have no risk of being hurt in any way,
Yep, I did that the other night, too, when he was sitting in the dark entryway.
 

calicosrspecial

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No, they're both acting normal.




Yep, I did that the other night, too, when he was sitting in the dark entryway.
"No, they're both acting normal." - Great.

"Yep, I did that the other night, too, when he was sitting in the dark entryway." - Yes, that is great. We may use this more if it is safe for you. You definitely give him confidence.
 
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