Remembering Krista

FeebysOwner

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My trouble isn't a lack or an insufficiency of feelings. My flaw is the belief that there is an order and finiteness to all of this. That if I vent all the "ifs" and "shoulds" and the relief and resentment, that I can be free of those feelings first. That if I can shed more tears now, I'll have fewer left to shed later.
In my feeble attempt to supplant your apparent frustration, I merely meant to suggest that sometimes there is no 'order' or 'vents' that free oneself at all. Many times they can serve to chain oneself to those very feelings they wish to get through and beyond.

But, grieving is a personal path, and I hope you find one that you are looking for. I meant - and mean - nothing less for you.
 
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daftcat75

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Bonus meal with OC tonight. I was taking the trash out and, “meow!”

Spotted!

“Okay meatball! Trash can wait. Let’s get you a dinner.”

Didn’t have to ask him twice. I’ll miss feeding this guy when he’s found a home.

Until then, I bought more FF which he was very happy about. I also bought treats and a carrier.

Having finished his meal, he briefly came back to the kitchen counter (I feed him on the Katris so I can clean up the kitchen without him.)

“Whatchoo doin’? Dishes? I’m bored. I want to go back out.”

I was nuking dinner anyway. So shortest visit since he’s been coming in.

At least I got a good snuggle out of him while he was trying to bust through my body barrier I used to keep him out of the prep area until dinner was plated.
 

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Bonus meal with OC tonight. I was taking the trash out and, “meow!”

Spotted!

“Okay meatball! Trash can wait. Let’s get you a dinner.”

Didn’t have to ask him twice. I’ll miss feeding this guy when he’s found a home.

Until then, I bought more FF which he was very happy about. I also bought treats and a carrier.

Having finished his meal, he briefly came back to the kitchen counter (I feed him on the Katris so I can clean up the kitchen without him.)

“Whatchoo doin’? Dishes? I’m bored. I want to go back out.”

I was nuking dinner anyway. So shortest visit since he’s been coming in.

At least I got a good snuggle out of him while he was trying to bust through my body barrier I used to keep him out of the prep area until dinner was plated.
A nice little interlude, yes?
 
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daftcat75

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The number I gave to the property manager for the rescue isn't going to help. The voicemail isn't checked but once a week or every other week. The email has a day or two turnaround. But info on the page sounds like they have no intake. Strays to go to the shelter. That seems to be the common thread among the rescue sites I've read this morning. The shelter has a, "if we didn't answer your question on this voicemail, leave a message" on their phone number.

I think my options for OC are:

Take him to the shelter, have him scanned, and entered into the system, then,

a. leave him with them. sounds lonely but this is what I'm leaning towards.
b. take him back home with me. I don't want him staying in my home until he's fixed. One marking was forgivable. But I don't want him getting his scent all over the place.
c. take him back to the community and set him loose again. except. I don't know the timeline for a lost pet is before I can have him snipped.
d. if I get unsatisfactory answers from the shelter, I may have to take him to my vet for a checkup and possibly get him snipped despite not knowing his provenance.

I think in terms of getting him snipped, option a is probably the best. For one thing, there's a chance he's still a pet who has a place to go home nightly or often enough that he's not lost or stray as far as his owners are concerned. Leaving him with the shelter will hopefully get the owner looking for him.

Alright, time to check the pool chairs to see if he wants lunch today.
 
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daftcat75

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The number I gave to the property manager for the rescue isn't going to help. The voicemail isn't checked but once a week or every other week. The email has a day or two turnaround. But info on the page sounds like they have no intake. Strays to go to the shelter. That seems to be the common thread among the rescue sites I've read this morning. The shelter has a, "if we didn't answer your question on this voicemail, leave a message" on their phone number.

I think my options for OC are:

Take him to the shelter, have him scanned, and entered into the system, then,

a. leave him with them. sounds lonely but this is what I'm leaning towards.
b. take him back home with me. I don't want him staying in my home until he's fixed. One marking was forgivable. But I don't want him getting his scent all over the place.
c. take him back to the community and set him loose again. except. I don't know the timeline for a lost pet is before I can have him snipped.
d. if I get unsatisfactory answers from the shelter, I may have to take him to my vet for a checkup and possibly get him snipped despite not knowing his provenance.

I think in terms of getting him snipped, option a is probably the best. For one thing, there's a chance he's still a pet who has a place to go home nightly or often enough that he's not lost or stray as far as his owners are concerned. Leaving him with the shelter will hopefully get the owner looking for him.

Alright, time to check the pool chairs to see if he wants lunch today.
Didn't see him at lunch today.

Maybe the property manager got animal control to collect him in the morning.

To be honest, if I don't have to know what follows from here, I'd be happy about that. I'd imagine him finally getting snipped and being an unstoppable meatball in someone's home who also has the heart and spirit to care for him full-time.

I call him a meatball. But he's more like a bowling ball with fur. He weighs all of 9.7 lbs. I got him to walk across the baby scale. But when he presses into you, he's like a tiny pit bull. You really feel his strength. I'd hate for him to spring board off of my chest in the middle of the night.

Anyway, maybe he's just having a Monday. It's on my list for the week to get him to the shelter tomorrow or Wednesday and get some flyers put up in this complex and the one next door.
 

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Didn't see him at lunch today.

Maybe the property manager got animal control to collect him in the morning.

To be honest, if I don't have to know what follows from here, I'd be happy about that. I'd imagine him finally getting snipped and being an unstoppable meatball in someone's home who also has the heart and spirit to care for him full-time.

I call him a meatball. But he's more like a bowling ball with fur. He weighs all of 9.7 lbs. I got him to walk across the baby scale. But when he presses into you, he's like a tiny pit bull. You really feel his strength. I'd hate for him to spring board off of my chest in the middle of the night.

Anyway, maybe he's just having a Monday. It's on my list for the week to get him to the shelter tomorrow or Wednesday and get some flyers put up in this complex and the one next door.
He probably will not survive if he goes to the "shelter" as spay/neuter has been stopped at the start of the pandemic by PTB's that think humans are more important than cats (something I vehemently disagree with). In the wake of the pandemic, kitten season, and the fires, the reality is he stands hardly any chance in a "shelter" but you can help him survive by getting him neutered.
 
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He probably will not survive if he goes to the "shelter" as spay/neuter has been stopped at the start of the pandemic by PTB's that think humans are more important than cats (something I vehemently disagree with). In the wake of the pandemic, kitten season, and the fires, the reality is he stands hardly any chance in a "shelter" but you can help him survive by getting him neutered.
PTB?

I caught up with him on my way out for lunch today. I needed to pick up an ink cartridge so I can print flyers. The landscapers, the leaf blowers, were scaring him. So I plated his lunch to go and caught up with him on the other side of the building where the landscapers weren't closing in on him.

Going through the shelter provides me with the most protection if he is someone's pet. I don't want to snip him and put vet money into his exams and vax only to be served a summons for theft and destruction of "property." Animals deserve more dignity than they get under the law.

I'll have to talk to shelter intake tomorrow and find out my options if he's not chipped. If the shelter won't provide an acceptable path to getting snipped and homed, then I'm likely going to have to suck it up and open my home to this guy. Or I can talk to my foster friend and see if she can find a foster home for him until a forever home can be found.

As much as I like the guy and as much as I miss having a cat at home, I don't want to be a cat parent right now.
 
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PTB?

I caught up with him on my way out for lunch today. I needed to pick up an ink cartridge so I can print flyers. The landscapers, the leaf blowers, were scaring him. So I plated his lunch to go and caught up with him on the other side of the building where the landscapers weren't closing in on him.

Going through the shelter provides me with the most protection if he is someone's pet. I don't want to snip him and put vet money into his exams and vax only to be served a summons for theft and destruction of "property." Animals deserve more dignity than they get under the law.

I'll have to talk to shelter intake tomorrow and find out my options if he's not chipped. If the shelter won't provide an acceptable path to getting snipped and homed, then I'm likely going to have to suck it up and open my home to this guy. Or I can talk to my foster friend and see if she can find a foster home for him until a forever home can be found.

As much as I like the guy and as much as I miss having a cat at home, I don't want to be a cat parent right now.
PTB's=Powers That Be: APA Statement on Spay and Neuter during COVID-19 Pandemic - APA
 
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My regular vet doesn't have a surgery appointment until November. My old vet is a little better. But he'd still have to wait until mid-October. I contacted one rescue who told me she wasn't sure of the status of clinics because of the shelter-in-place orders and gave me the email address for the city shelter. I sent them an email. I will keep calling around to see if I can find a clinic or an earlier appointment than mid-October. Because he's going to have to rough it outside until then. I will not house an un-neutered male.
 

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My regular vet doesn't have a surgery appointment until November. My old vet is a little better. But he'd still have to wait until mid-October. I contacted one rescue who told me she wasn't sure of the status of clinics because of the shelter-in-place orders and gave me the email address for the city shelter. I sent them an email. I will keep calling around to see if I can find a clinic or an earlier appointment than mid-October. Because he's going to have to rough it outside until then. I will not house an un-neutered male.
THANK YOU for everything you're doing to try to help him. *PRAYERS* something opens up so he can be neutered and find safe haven. Such a good cat.
 
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I took a break around 10 to 5 to see if I could talk to the property manager in person about OC. No luck there.

On my long loop walk that i take around the complex when I don't see him by the pool, I was nearly back to my unit when I had to step aside to let one of the kids pass on the path. Our paths weren't much bigger than one person paths before Covid. So as I'm stepped off to the side, an orange shadow appeared beneath me.

Meow! Head bunt. Sit down at my feet.

"Alright, buddy. You get a bonus meal today too."

I generally only feed him lunch. But if I happen to run into him around dinner, well, who's going to tell him, "you had your one meal a day from me?"

If I ended up taking him in--and it's starting to look that way as Covid has really messed up his options--I'm going to have a heckuva time breaking him from the eat-and-run habit we're building now.

"I finished my plate. What do you mean I can't go out the back door now?"
 
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As I look at Krista in the avatar, I think, maybe if I color in pieces of him with a Sharpie, I can make a tortie out of him. :crackup:
 

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As I look at Krista in the avatar, I think, maybe if I color in pieces of him with a Sharpie, I can make a tortie out of him. :crackup:
Then he'll be quite rare, and you may feel he's extremely valued. *Just sayin' -- sort of a joke. Hopefully you feel he's extremely valued no matter what.*
 
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daftcat75

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Then he'll be quite rare, and you may feel he's extremely valued. *Just sayin' -- sort of a joke. Hopefully you feel he's extremely valued no matter what.*
Hey, if making him the only male tortie will get him adopted, let's do it! I don't know how much luck I'm going to have finding him a neuter appointment. I'll call around some more tomorrow. I will also try to talk to the property manager again tomorrow and find out if there is a way we can keep him as a community cat if we got him his shots and eventually got him neutered given how Covid has impacted his chances at rescue and adoption.

I miss Krista's face! Not only were those beautiful markings, but the whole face and its every goofy expression. I miss how she would bound up the desk-side tree and show up in the filling station--between me and the laptop--and want her fill of scritches. Or towards the end when she wasn't coming up to me anymore, I used to take breaks to come down to her. I'd lay down on the floor and she'd come right up to me and climb onto my belly/chest for a belly ride. 😻
 

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Hey, if making him the only male tortie will get him adopted, let's do it! I don't know how much luck I'm going to have finding him a neuter appointment. I'll call around some more tomorrow. I will also try to talk to the property manager again tomorrow and find out if there is a way we can keep him as a community cat if we got him his shots and eventually got him neutered given how Covid has impacted his chances at rescue and adoption.

I miss Krista's face! Not only were those beautiful markings, but the whole face and its every goofy expression. I miss how she would bound up the desk-side tree and show up in the filling station--between me and the laptop--and want her fill of scritches. Or towards the end when she wasn't coming up to me anymore, I used to take breaks to come down to her. I'd lay down on the floor and she'd come right up to me and climb onto my belly/chest for a belly ride. 😻
Again, much gratitude to you for all you're doing for OC. He's an excellent cat. He, like every cat, deserves safe haven and love. These are possibly the hardest times in history to achieve those ends. But they are so, so worth it.
Don't I know. I miss the daily Krista tales and pix here on TCS. And I can't walk into this office without looking for Tarifa. I can't get up and walk out to the kitchen without straining to hear her yells. I can't endure the fact that there will never be a purple twinkle ball near a door in the hallway, ever again. Never a tiny sparkly torti croissant in the bay window in the living room, or at the foot of the bed. Never the sensation of having my hair gnawed on in bed in the morning. So many "nevers" I find it hard to go on. But I must. And you must, too. Because it's what we do and it's what THEY want us to do.
 
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Again, much gratitude to you for all you're doing for OC. He's an excellent cat. He, like every cat, deserves safe haven and love. These are possibly the hardest times in history to achieve those ends. But they are so, so worth it.
Don't I know. I miss the daily Krista tales and pix here on TCS. And I can't walk into this office without looking for Tarifa. I can't get up and walk out to the kitchen without straining to hear her yells. I can't endure the fact that there will never be a purple twinkle ball near a door in the hallway, ever again. Never a tiny sparkly torti croissant in the bay window in the living room, or at the foot of the bed. Never the sensation of having my hair gnawed on in bed in the morning. So many "nevers" I find it hard to go on. But I must. And you must, too. Because it's what we do and it's what THEY want us to do.
OC is causing me stress and anxiety and I fear I'm going to resent him. Still. I need to see what I can do for him within my own limitations. I don't know that anyone else is standing up for him. He needs to be snipped, chipped, and vaccinated. If he's at least chipped and vaccinated, the property manager may continue to turn a blind eye. While his kittens and marking could become problematic, at least he's not spreading disease. If he's chipped, I wouldn't mind getting him a microchip feeder and making him a full-time outdoor cat until he's fixed. At that point, the property manager would probably be more than happy to turn a blind eye to the "no fostering" rule in the lease until I can find him a home. If I get him snipped, you bet I'll take him in for recovery. I'll put him in the pen I used for Krista's ear surgery recovery.

I found another grief book that looks interesting. I got an overview of the PEACE method on Gaia this morning. This is the kind of tools I have been looking for. You start with a painful thought or feeling and work through a process of expression, acceptance, and re-framing of that thought/feeling to get to something actionable you're going to do for yourself. In this way, dealing with grief becomes a manageable iterative process. I'll let you know how it goes as I start using it today.

Grief Relief in 30 Minutes: How to use the Peace Method to go from Heartbreak to Happiness: Winter, Aurora: 9780972249751: Amazon.com: Books
 

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OC is causing me stress and anxiety and I fear I'm going to resent him. Still. I need to see what I can do for him within my own limitations. I don't know that anyone else is standing up for him. He needs to be snipped, chipped, and vaccinated. If he's at least chipped and vaccinated, the property manager may continue to turn a blind eye. While his kittens and marking could become problematic, at least he's not spreading disease. If he's chipped, I wouldn't mind getting him a microchip feeder and making him a full-time outdoor cat until he's fixed. At that point, the property manager would probably be more than happy to turn a blind eye to the "no fostering" rule in the lease until I can find him a home. If I get him snipped, you bet I'll take him in for recovery. I'll put him in the pen I used for Krista's ear surgery recovery.

I found another grief book that looks interesting. I got an overview of the PEACE method on Gaia this morning. This is the kind of tools I have been looking for. You start with a painful thought or feeling and work through a process of expression, acceptance, and re-framing of that thought/feeling to get to something actionable you're going to do for yourself. In this way, dealing with grief becomes a manageable iterative process. I'll let you know how it goes as I start using it today.

Grief Relief in 30 Minutes: How to use the Peace Method to go from Heartbreak to Happiness: Winter, Aurora: 9780972249751: Amazon.com: Books
YES, all the way.
 
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I fed on the deck today. E3E82E01-A568-4153-951F-0991E81CF58D.jpeg
If we’re in this for the long haul, then I want him to come to me.
Which he actually did. I’ve been trying to clicker train him. I was walking around looking for him clicking the clicker. Just as I was ready to give up and head back in to grab my keys for my own lunch errand, as I’m coming up on my unit, he’s already waiting for me in the deck.

Spotted!

Meow and don’t mind if I follow you in the front door. 😹

Alright meatball. But you’re eating outside today.

😺👍

I’ll look into some furniture or something for him out there to make it more pleasant for him. Especially when the weather starts to turn. Furniture the lease rules don’t forbid. 🤦🏼‍♂️ No catio. 😔
 
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