Adopting a kitten or a bonded pair: questions

[MoriartyX]

Hi everyone, this is my first post

My wife and I are quite determined to adopt a kitten. We don't have any other pets, but we've always been dog people, so we knew nothing about cats. We've been reading a lot about it, how to adapt our apartment, how to prepare the room for the first few days and so on. However, I keep reading that kittens do better in pairs, that in many cases it's even easier to have two than one... and I have several questions.

1. I must confess my biggest fear is that the two are bonded (bonded litter siblings) they will grow less attached to us. I know this is quite selfish, but I want a sociable and family cat, not two independent felines that see us just as food providers lol
2. Considering they will be neutered as soon as possible, are there any differences in which genders to get? Right now several of our closest shelters offer different pairs of bonded siblings (two brothers, two sisters or one and one)
3. In case we finally adopt just one kitten, we were aiming for a female, as we were told they are usually a little more affectionate. Is this right, or being neutered, it really doesn't matter the gender?
4. Considering that being in pairs allows them to be better socialized, to learn boundaries and the such, will this mean that adopting a 10-12 week-old kitten will be hard to socialize? We plan on having children in the near future, and maybe having a dog in a couple of years too.

Thanks for the help. We don't have any experience with cats, and we want to do things right haha I guess we're like newbie parents expecting, full of anxiety and questions!

 

[klunick]

1 We have had several siblings over the years. Some could care less for each other and some were very loving to each other (but also to us). Cats are independent by nature so I don't think having a sibling will cause them to be more distant from you and only closer to their sibling.

2 The surgery for males is by far easier. But that shouldn't be the sole reason to adopt a male. Females do fine with the surgery too. Just take more recovery time because they have to be opened up.

3 I have noticed that our male cats are more affectionate than our females. That said, we always try to get females if possible because males spray (even neutered ones) and we've had awful luck with them getting urinary crystals.

4 Socializing comes from you taking the time to do it. Doesn't matter the age.

 

[molly92]

A pair of kittens sounds great for what you're looking for! They adapt to new situations really easily. You definitely don't want to get just one, for a few reasons, but the biggest being that when they don't have a sibling to play-wrestle with, they don't learn that biting hurts and they don't know not to do it! It's so much easier for cats to teach this to each other than for us to try. I wouldn't adopt a young kitten by itself as a first time cat owner, especially if small children are going to be around.

The biggest drawback is that you can't always predict what a kitten will be like when they grow up. Some playful kittens turn into lazy lap cats as adults, and some don't ever become quite as cuddly. If you want to be absolutely certain what personality you're going to get, you should get an adult cat (or two-some adults come in bonded pairs!) who has been with a foster so it's known how affectionate they are. With kittens, there's always going to be some chance involved. The benefit of kittens though, is that they grow up in your home and will accept your lifestyle as normal without having to adapt like an adult would.

To your first question, kittens are usually pretty social. They will probably want to play more often than they want to cuddle, but they will definitely want to play with you as well as their sibling! Since most people can't play with their kittens 24/7 because they have sleep sometimes, it's a relief that they have their sibling to play with, and then playtime with people becomes a special event. Do not expect any kitten to be patient enough for long snuggle sessions when they're awake, though! Sure, most kittens like cuddles and pets just fine, but given the option, they'd probably rather be playing! They will cuddle more and play less as they get older, but how much depends on the cat.

I think gender matters less than the individual cat. They all have their own distinct personalities. Cats were never bred for specific personalities like dogs were, so there's a huge range. In general, I've actual found girls to be a little more independent and boys to be a bit needier and want a little more human affection. But that's just overall. When it comes down to a specific cat, it's best to meet with them first and find out what you can from their foster.

A 10-12 week old kitten is a great age for adoption. As long as they've grown up around people, they shouldn't have any problem around socializing with them. It's still great for them to be with a litter mate at this age because they're still learning how to be considerate, but they don't need their mother anymore and they can likely be fixed at this age too (fixing early is great because young kittens heal SO quickly because they're growing so much). Even if they were born as feral kittens, they can still be socialized well to people at this age, although I don't recommend that for a first time cat owner. Better adopt kittens that have been handled from birth. And on that note, handling them lots when they're kittens will be very helpful! Get them used to you touching their stomach, their paws, their mouths, everything, so that you can handle them easily, children can touch them anywhere and they won't be alarmed, and it won't be agonizing to do things like trim their nails or brush their teeth.

I think the best scenario for you would be to get a pair of kittens that have already spent the first few months of their lives with people, or to find a very specific adult cat (or even pair of adult cats) that are super cool around people and are known love bugs. Many adult cats will be shy when you first meet them, and they can become very bonded and cuddly cats to their owners, but they often have to go through an adjustment phase with every new person or scenario in their life. Some adult cats, though, are super friendly and up for anything from the beginning (a little more "dog-like," some will say), and they would probably be a better fit for you.

Or, you could come across a cat with none of the characteristics you thought you wanted and fall in love with them anyway. That does happen, and you can also make that work if you need to!

 

[ArtNJ]

1. I must confess my biggest fear is that the two are bonded (bonded litter siblings) they will grow less attached to us. I know this is quite selfish, but I want a sociable and family cat, not two independent felines that see us just as food providers lol
2. Considering they will be neutered as soon as possible, are there any differences in which genders to get? Right now several of our closest shelters offer different pairs of bonded siblings (two brothers, two sisters or one and one)
3. In case we finally adopt just one kitten, we were aiming for a female, as we were told they are usually a little more affectionate. Is this right, or being neutered, it really doesn't matter the gender?
4. Considering that being in pairs allows them to be better socialized, to learn boundaries and the such, will this mean that adopting a 10-12 week-old kitten will be hard to socialize? We plan on having children in the near future, and maybe having a dog in a couple of years too.

1. Another cat in the house does have a very slight effect on how much they turn to you. However, its nothing to worry about. In fact, if you only get one cat and it turns into an incredibly demanding stuck to you like velcro cat, you might wish you had adopted a second kitten to help mellow the demands for attention. But the difference is very slight and only on average -- how you interact with them, and their individual personalities are a much bigger effect;

2 +3. I don't believe there is any difference at all with timely spay/neuter in personalities;

4. Not at all, 12 weeks is a fine age to adopt. Ideally, if the mom is around, the kittens wouldn't be separated until at least 12 weeks, but if mom is absent, 8-11 week old cats can be adopted without much in the way of additional problems. A dog would *definitely* be a *lot* easier if adopted as a puppy with the kitten. A few years down the road that becomes a difficult introduction that you'll need to read up on and take slow. Probably fine if you do that, but they won't have much chance of more than toleration the way they do if adopted together. Children are not especially problematic -- a few years down the road, the cats will still be more than mobile enough to just avoid them, and that is what they will do. Cats and babies through toddlers are rarely friendly, but even a chubby cat can easily evade a toddler so there are almost never problems.

 

[allypuk]

First of all welcome,
I have recently become the proud owner of 2 kittens, We got them at 8 weeks and they are 10 weeks today. So although I don't have many years of cat experience I have recently gone through the whole process of researching and having only had dogs in the past. So I understand the whole bonding worry.

1, Our kittens are a bonded pair, they are siblings, a boy and a girl. They have bonded well with us so far although it is still early days. They don't always sleep together, they do often choose to sleep on us in the day but not always.
I believe having the two was a wise decision as they are much less demanding, (ours are angels so far) they are able to play with each other (it would be exhausting otherwise)., They settled in very fast as they had each other, they seemed to gain confidence by having a buddy. They don't cry, meow when left, we leave them downstairs in our back hall and bathroom over night as its completely kitten safe with lots of toys, scratching post, tunnel,beds and litter boxes.
As to the sociable cat side, well I think as a dog lover you do have to accept that cats are not dogs and so keep any expectations in check. As you have done alot a research I suspect you already understand this well. We get alot of joy from watching them play together and when they explore new things, eg, learning how to get onto the window sill. They are imo much less work than a puppy! They are naturally curious about everything and just soo much more capable than a young dog. We have had no litter box accidents or issues with them getting themselves into trouble, I did completely kitten proof my downstairs. I would never get just one now after having 2 together. If you think you may want a second cat later then prob best to get 2 now. Cats can obviously do well alone but I think it would be harder work. Although 2 does cost more to feed, insure and at the vets.

2, As to genders, we choose one of each as we didn't know much about which genders get along best and during our research we read that 2 females or male and female would likely give a higher chance of them getting along when mature. Unlike dogs 2 kittens from the same same litter can actually grow up to be not keen on each other but its highly likely they will tolerate each other. So I guess in short its always a gamble but the odds are in your favour if they are from the same litter. So you could get 2 kittens that will always love each other alot or not. This may help ease your bonding fears tho as I know with dogs, 2 often bond with each other over an owner. But as with everything this would likely come down to how much effort and time you put in when they are small. My advice would be play with them everyday with a variety of toys. Both of ours like to play in different ways and it has been a real joy discovering their individual favs.
Another thing to consider is that having a male neutered is generally cheaper than a female, as long as all is well.

3, I have found the opposite to be true, our male kitten is by far more affectionate than our female. He rubs up against our legs, likes being petted and even enjoys a tummy rub now and again. He loves the tactile style affection. However our female kitten would rather just sit close by, often up against you, but if you pet her for more than 2 secs she will get up and move away. She is also the better hunter of the two. They will both sleep on us at times. But he seeks us out more.

4, It is my understanding that socialisation can be split into 2 parts, cat to cat and cat to environment/people.
Our kittens came from a home that had children, other cats and a dog, so they had been exposed to most of the things they will come across. As we had 2 we personally worried less at taking them at 8 weeks, If I had been getting 1 I would have found a breeder than would not allow them to go until 12 weeks to ensure they had all the cat to cat socialising in place as that is something that is hard to do unless you are a cat!
As for home and environment check what they have already been brought up around, were their children in the home etc, also as you have them/him/her as a kitten you can help the process by allowing friends with children to visit etc. If you handle the kittens well and socialise them on the whole you should be good.

The last thing I would say is ... the individual cats personality always plays a part and you can never truly know that with a kitten, If you really really want to be sure that you get a cat that is social-able and likes affection then consider adopting an older cat whose temperament is already known.

 

[MoriartyX]

Well, thanks for all the messages!

1) I understand having two kittens is better. However, even when accepting the counterintuitive fact 2 is better than 1, in the end it's two lives depending on you, and while my wife totally wants to have cat, I don't know if she'll be okay with having two.

But thank you for calming my, let's say "selfish" thought of two kittens ignoring us I do see that having two would be best for both us and them.

2 and 3) Yeah, for your comments, I get that it's usual for males to be affectionate. I was worried of two females not doing okay together, as they have always said it happens with dogs. Maybe a female and a male would be the best option.

In any case (if we get 2 or 1), I thought neutered males didn't spray. Reading that they can keep that habit really increases our interest for females, even if we have to accept a little less affection. Does it happen usually even in neutered males? We have several friends who got two males, and they never mentioned this.

4) I think I didn't write the sentence as I wanted to (English is not my first language ). What I meant is: if we end up having only a single kitten aged 10-12, will this impact how she or he will react when we introduce a dog or children in the future?

 

[ArtNJ]

4) You mean, introducing 1 vs 2 kittens to kid(s) or dog(s) in the future? As I mentioned above, I think the kids are pretty much totally irrelevant. If you want a pet bonded with a 3 or 4 year old, thats a dog, not a cat. Cats are going to ignore the typical toddler. If you have a very unusually patient toddler, perhaps they can befriend a cat, but expect the cat(s) will mostly ignore the kid(s). Whether you get one or two, there just isn't an issue there. Introducing 2 cats to a dog would be somewhat harder perhaps, just because every cat is different. But 2 vs 1 is unlikely to be a big deal.

The issues that that matter to me in the 2 vs 1 debate IMHO:

(1) two kittens/cats are much more likely to make a lot of ruckus at 3am;

(2) there is some chance you will eventually have cat fights with two. Usually not a big deal. Theoretically, fighting cats do carry a small risk of toddlers being scratched. This isn't much of a real issue in practice;

(3) some added expense and effort;

(4) behavioral difficulties may not be double, but you most likely will have a somewhat harder time with stuff like scratching furniture and climbing on kitchen counters. After all, two is two, and with every cat being different, its an increased chance you'll have one that is difficult to train.

(5) it is so cute and fun to watch two kittens;

(6) they will entertain each other reducing demands on you and certain behavioral issues caused by boredom to some degree

(7) two kittens are the easiest intro in the world to each other, and will become friends even if they are not siblings. An older cat and a kitten is harder, with a lower chance they end up friends. If you might want two, together as kittens, and certainly before one is older than 2 yrs, is the best time.

P.S. I guess I imagined you saying you had an apartment bc I don't see it now. Apartment vs house does magnify the difficulties of more pets. Its relevant how much space you have.

 

[Norachan]

Do you really have your heart set on a kitten? If you think you may only want one cat adopting an older cat may work better for you. If you explain to the shelter that you are looking for an adult cat that is fine with dogs and children and is also very affectionate towards people they should be able to introduce you to a cat that fits that description.

Older cats have usually been spayed or neutered for a while and will have had their vaccinations, so it will be cheaper than adopting a kitten that still needs all that done.

Cats live for 15 to 20 years, so adopting a cat that's 2 or 3 years old doesn't mean you'll miss out on having a long life together.

A Kitten Or An Older Cat – Which Should You Adopt? – TheCatSite Articles

Your English is very good, I wouldn't have guessed it's not your first language.

 

[molly92]

I don't think most neutered males spray. I've never seen it in the cats I've fostered personally. Now, males are a bit more likely to develop urinary tract infections, which can lead to inappropriate elimination outside the litter box. It's VERY important to feed as much wet food as possible (for males and females) to keep them well hydrated to avoid these kinds of health issues! Everyone I know who's cat ended up with these problems regretted not putting them on an all-wet diet sooner, because it's painful, expensive, and annoying to clean up once urinary health issues do start!

As to the question about if getting an "only child" kitten would cause problems later on: I think there's a good chance it could. I'm speaking from experience seeing lots of cats in shelters, and it's so common for cat that were raised by themselves as kittens to turn into adults that bite too hard! I have one of those biters myself. I love her but I wouldn't let her around children without careful supervision. While she (usually) doesn't draw blood, it does hurt, and I imagine it would be very scary for a child to be on the receiving end.

When a kitten has a playmate, they will play rough and occasionally bite each other too hard accidentally. This hurts and they'll yelp, and they learn to be more gentle. A cat with no playmate never gets the opportunity to learn that. So for that reason alone, I think kittens should be adopted in multiples if at all possible.

 

[klunick]

I don't think most neutered males spray. I've never seen it in the cats I've fostered personally. Now, males are a bit more likely to develop urinary tract infections, which can lead to inappropriate elimination outside the litter box. It's VERY important to feed as much wet food as possible (for males and females) to keep them well hydrated to avoid these kinds of health issues! Everyone I know who's cat ended up with these problems regretted not putting them on an all-wet diet sooner, because it's painful, expensive, and annoying to clean up once urinary health issues do start!

As to the question about if getting an "only child" kitten would cause problems later on: I think there's a good chance it could. I'm speaking from experience seeing lots of cats in shelters, and it's so common for cat that were raised by themselves as kittens to turn into adults that bite too hard! I have one of those biters myself. I love her but I wouldn't let her around children without careful supervision. While she (usually) doesn't draw blood, it does hurt, and I imagine it would be very scary for a child to be on the receiving end.

When a kitten has a playmate, they will play rough and occasionally bite each other too hard accidentally. This hurts and they'll yelp, and they learn to be more gentle. A cat with no playmate never gets the opportunity to learn that. So for that reason alone, I think kittens should be adopted in multiples if at all possible.

You are correct. Most don't. I have never had a neutered male spray before but I have heard that it can happen if there are other issues like separation anxiety or some other type of stress.

 

[pearl99]

Lots of info and great advice- I'll just add:

Consider Norachan 's advice, if you are not absolutely set on a kitten or two. And be sure to find out all you can from the shelter about history.

Neutered males can spray, but it's rare or infrequent from what I've read. I have not had that happen myself but others here have posted about that happening, as a territorial thing when an outdoor cat comes around, or when adding another cat to the family, the cat being insecure about it's territory.

If you adopt a male be sure to have plenty of water stations available, and I add some warm water to the wet food feedings of my cats to give more hydration, and to help prevent crystals and urinary problems. That goes for females too! I've had a female with UTI's and a bladder stone.

Cats are awesome.

 

[MoriartyX]

Your English is very good, I wouldn't have guessed it's not your first language.

Thanks

Well, thank you everyone, you keep adding wisdom and I'm really grateful. As I said, it's our first (or firsts) cat and we want to do it the right way, not just for us but for the cat!

I'm really sold on the idea of adopting two. We'll discuss it, as it definitely can help later on, besides helping with the playtime and boundaries. And of course, the cuteness would be just too much!

And if we end up going for one, an adult could be a good choice. We really want to live that part of seeing the kitten grow, learn and discover the world, but maybe it would be better for us to have a calmer cat, with some manners who will teach us how to serve our feline masters properly

 

[ArtNJ]

TBH I'd almost always recommend a kitten if it weren't for the "saving a life" issue. Kittens are harder in some ways, but the chance of developing a deap bond is higher, and the cuteness factor is arguably higher, especially for a first time owner. If an adult cat does unexpectedly have behavioral issues, and its hard to be sure it won't, they can sometimes be quite a bit harder to deal with than those of a kitten.

And of course if you are getting two, that makes the choice easy. Two kittens will always become friends, which is a blessing, especially for a first time owner not experienced dealing with cats not getting along.

 

[alphakitty]

Hi everyone, this is my first post

My wife and I are quite determined to adopt a kitten. We don't have any other pets, but we've always been dog people, so we knew nothing about cats. We've been reading a lot about it, how to adapt our apartment, how to prepare the room for the first few days and so on. However, I keep reading that kittens do better in pairs, that in many cases it's even easier to have two than one... and I have several questions.

1. I must confess my biggest fear is that the two are bonded (bonded litter siblings) they will grow less attached to us. I know this is quite selfish, but I want a sociable and family cat, not two independent felines that see us just as food providers lol
2. Considering they will be neutered as soon as possible, are there any differences in which genders to get? Right now several of our closest shelters offer different pairs of bonded siblings (two brothers, two sisters or one and one)
3. In case we finally adopt just one kitten, we were aiming for a female, as we were told they are usually a little more affectionate. Is this right, or being neutered, it really doesn't matter the gender?
4. Considering that being in pairs allows them to be better socialized, to learn boundaries and the such, will this mean that adopting a 10-12 week-old kitten will be hard to socialize? We plan on having children in the near future, and maybe having a dog in a couple of years too.

Thanks for the help. We don't have any experience with cats, and we want to do things right haha I guess we're like newbie parents expecting, full of anxiety and questions!

Hello MoriartyX,

Congrats on finally making the move to the smart pets!!

Ok, now that we've got the niceties over with, your kitties will essentially take on the characteristics of how you & wife treat them, just as with canines. If the people are nasty, generally the dogs are nasty too, etc.

Your fear is not being able to socialize them? hah hah hah. The younger they are, the easier they are to socialize. I've socialized virtually type and kind of domestic felines..kitties and one bobcat too!

Bring home litter pairs if you can, if not, put them together and allow them to become social with each as soon as possible. Let them play together, that creates the bond. Always be gentle. If they don't get along, seperate them and socialize them individually and then later through your interface with each of them they'll socialize to each other as THEIR FEARs will have become just a bad dream drifting into the past. Kittens are extremely easy to socialize. However, older cats can be socialized also. I recently socialized a full grown cat, who has never been touched except by the vet who fixed him. I now regulary pet him, stroke his tail, and I can pick him up and carry him around. He was 7 years old when I began working to socialize him!!! I've been told by 'experts' that it can't be done! PoppyCock! It is not easy, and it requires much patience, and gotta really watch the behavior and to enjoin each and every and any opportunity that presents to make use of the chances and ya gotta have some balls too, because they can really hurt ya if you misread the signs.

**AND** it is absolutely NECESSARY, in my opinion, that if you desire to have a happy kitty family, ya gotta PLAY with them, while they are young. I'm not talking about dragging around a string for just two minutes. The longer you play with them, the stronger the bond. Shining a LASER, (keep it out of their eyes) if done so for short periods, they'll love to play with it. But don't over do it, else they become bored, as there is nothing to catch, and so they can never catch it. It is hunting to them and nobody likes to fish when they can never catch anything, capece? As in life, everything desired takes smart thinking and work to attain quality. If you don't have the patience or the time to expend with them, don't get yourself any pets, because you are not doing anyone any favors, aside from being selfish.

I play with kittens about every three hours, and each session for as long as I can. They LOVE it!! Initially it is to earn their trust, and then with time, you have to learn how to challenge them, up the ante. Hide the toy around corners, learn how they hunt, and then help them to evolve that skill by introducing 'thinking' challenges. Introduce them to noises, so that later, they aren't afraid of the rug-mower or the fan, etc. Show'm a mirror. Put it down on the floor where they can see it regularly. Challenge them. Teach them how to get the treat out of the box, tipping it just a little bit, each time, until they can't see the treats, yet they'll reach for it, because you have taught them how to spacialize, dream where the treats are, although they can't see it with their eyes. There are many ways to play with kitties.

One of the really cool things that kitties love, is placing something flat, like a ruler under a table cloth or a large manila folder, so that one end of the toy sticks out from under the edge, just a little bit, and then pull the toy back, slowly, and then pause....they forget that you are pulling it on the other side as they can't see you doing it, to them they are dreaming the hunt. ) Over time increase the difficulty of challenge and tell them when they do well, "very good", "good". "you are good kitty", pet them, scratch them, make contact, etc, like slapping hands with new friends, but don't always keep them from catching it, allow them to catch it, that is part of the reward for them. In time you'll begin to see the little characters strut around, "hey, I'm getting pretty good!" heh heh heh. Cats are a trip. Help them to grow, and they'll love you for it. Play, Play, Play! Its a mutual learning experience. Become their pal, and they'll become your pals.

<<<
I must confess my biggest fear is that the two are bonded (bonded litter siblings) they will grow less attached to us. I know this is quite selfish, but I want a sociable and family cat, not two independent felines that see us just as food providers lol
>>>

Hah hah hah. Nothing to worry about there. If you treat them with love, kindness and understanding, and do a bit of give and take with kitties, just like with people, you'll have yourself some really wonderful little pals. But if you are a jerk to them, guess what? I personally never stike a kittie, just as with a Woman, ya hit'm, they never trust ya again and rightfully so. Always be gentle, they are very small compared to our size and it is very easy to seriously harm their little bodies. Cats learn via something I call 'flash-memory', eg., they can learn instantly, and they very seldom forget such a thing learned. Although I have had occasion where a cat regained trust with me. But it takes a lot of effort, patience and consistency. I've made a few behavioral mistakes with kitties through the years, I also learn. Remember, "gentleness is the universal language of love." You want loving kitties, be loving to them.

<<<
Considering they will be neutered as soon as possible, are there any differences in which genders to get? Right now several of our closest shelters offer different pairs of bonded siblings (two brothers, two sisters or one and one)
>>>

I personally like and enjoy the behavior of male kitties, but then I'm a motorcycling guy. Males tend to be a little more independent than females, while female kitties can be too needy for attention also, for my tastes. There is certainly a behavior difference between female and male kitties. I like both genders, and in my kitty household (I have four indoor/outside kitties) and now, three outside litter-relative kitties, meaning they all shared the same mother, but different litters. I trapped and neutored/spayed all of them, and released them. But they are all half-brothers & sisters. Before I went into the hospital two years ago, I had 9 outdoor kitties that were all litter-relatives, but they scattered because the food was not being properly administered by my lovely and caring neighbor who did not understand the feeding matter. She did a good job for her level of understanding. I went to the hospital for a one day elective gallbladder surgery, but they kept me 2 1/2 months. When released and returned home, sadly, all that remained were three kitties. I went out my back door on the stairs, and I saw one of three remaining outside community kitties, 'New Mommy'. When she recognized me, I swear to God, that she started crying, and whimpering, she was so happy to see me. She came up the steps and rubbed all over my legs. This is a full grown female cat, who had never been touched except by the vet who fixed her four years ago when I trapped her and then myself, when I gave her eye-droppies for an eye problem for six weeks and then re-released her into the outside. She was full grown cat when I trapped her again and administered eye-droppies. She is a very sweet little girl.

Having them fixed, they very likely will not pee all over the place, that is good. If you do have that problem, buy some FeliWay spray, and spray it on the areas where they pee. They are marking their territory and this generally caused by some type of emotional fear, in my opinion. FeliWay is expensive, but **ALL** the vets use it. Kitties will rub their mouths on objects and also on you, your hands, your belt, etc, when they start to trust you and your wife. Don't resist that activity, you can always later wash it off, however the aroma is very strong, so washing it off really does not eliminate it from the sensitivity of their olfactory senses..nose. They are marking you with a pheremone, which communicates, 'this is my property and I feel safe!' That is good. Spraying it on objects that they are peeing on, can be stopped by 'marking it safe' and no spanking required!!!!!! Feliway synthesizes that pheromone, and when used judiciously, will stop peeing and clawing on things like, your $500 speaker covers, etc. If you have a clawing problem, gently say "no, no" pick them up and put them next to the kitty scratching post. Also, make sure that the cats like their scratching posts. Some cats like the coiled hemp-rope type and others prefer carpet. If they don't like the type you have, replace it with something they do like, but in any case ya gotta get one, no BS, else they'll be scratching on something that will annoy you. Don't declaw them. Only jerkoffs do that. Also, if your new kitties remain nervous for too long, FeliWay also offers a wall plug-in product which emits a controlled amount of the pheremone, which is very effective for calming new kitties!

All the yakking makes it sound difficult. Its not. Just be gentle, play with them and love them. Everything will be good.

<<<
In case we finally adopt just one kitten, we were aiming for a female, as we were told they are usually a little more affectionate. Is this right, or being neutered, it really doesn't matter the gender?
>>>

My male kitty, Beeqie, who I socialized from an adolescent kitty of around 2 ~ 3 months old, I trapped on my porch eating a snack. His kisser adorns my avatar photo, he is a very affectionate kitty. For him, he likes to fight. So I play-fight with him ocassionaly as he requires. He'll just reach up grab my hand as I walk by! Growling, grasping my hand with his front paw claws, and kicking my captive hand like a crazy-mad kitty, heh heh heh, and then I frequently grab a pinch of belly skin, or I pull his whiskers, or I gently slap his ears, heh heh heh, I screw around with him, and at times he really gets into it...his ears lay flat, and he makes little Bruce Willis 'ehhh' sounds and sometimes he actually growls, heh heh heh. When he did that the first time, I was worried! But he never hurts me. And once in awhile he gets angry, I always remind him, "you are good kitty", and I reinforce the idea that it was "play" or "playing", by saying those words when I played with the kitties during socialization. They learn the association of the words with the action. Once in awhile I'll get a bleeding scratch, but its an accident, not purposely done. A bit like foil fencing, once in awhile something may go wrong and ya get stabbed. Kitties typically have a very simple vocabulary. My kitties all know the following words which I taught them, "play", "outee" and sometimes "outside" (when I open the cat door to let them out), "dindin", "in-nee" when I call them to come inside, which they do, but I do it at the same time everyday. "Good boy", "good kitty", "bad", "no no", "LASER" (my boy kitty knows exactly what that means, heh heh heh"). When I'm writing software, one of my black female kitties likes to jump up, and sit directly on my keyboard! Heh heh heh, and I have to say, "no" and when she's happy with me, she likes to chew on my 3D printer cables!! "No chewing!"

Every night when I lay down to sleep, Beeqie, my only inside boy kitty, walks up on my chest. I grab his face and pull it back, holding him thusly, he appears to become an Oriental kittie! I tell him, "You are so good looking!" and then I let him go, and he stands there looking down at me, and I tell him, "You got your daddy's good looks, and your mommy's brains! Why, you are the PERFECT black kitty!" and then he lays down, nose to my nose, purring, whiskers, itching my face, while I scratch his ears, his shoulders. After awhile as I start to fade out into Yezirah dream-land, he'll walk away. How affectionate is that? Another thing he does, is when I'm in my electronics lab, (I'm an Extra Class Ham Radio operator, and a HW/SW design engineer), and I have a ton of electronic equipment on a bench, my hobby. I'll be working on something and he'll come up and lay down between my arms if I'm pecking away at a keyboard, or he'll lay down atop my Tektronix logic analyzer, always right in the middle of it all. If he is outside, he comes in via the cat-door, occasionally to check in with me, comes in rubs on me, purrs and then goes back outside. But my females also come to see me, or hang out on the floor around my feet, etc. If you are pals, you are pals..

Every night I am also visited by all of the kitties, one by one, they all want their special time with me. I love those guys, and they love me. My wife has MS, she has a scooter instead of a wheelchair. The kitties all hop up into her lap when we are watching TV or chatting. They are not just my pals, but my wife's pals as well.

Re; the quantity, who ever elucidated that kitties are better in pairs is essentially correct in my opinion.

My general advice is if you plan to reside inside an apartment, PLEASE, don't be cruel, don't keep pets inside FOREVER just for your own sanctity of mind. If you live somewhere that kitties or doggies can be let in/out into a nice yard, then what's wrong with that? Just remember, that there is no gauranteed safety in the world. Eventually, everything dies from something. Don't live in fear of it.

Best Regards, hope this hasn't been too locquacious or too long and that you may find something of value in it.

Alpha_Kitty

 

[cataholic07]

To answer your questions:

1. I adopted two brothers at first (have a 3rd now), they werent super bonded but close. Though the boys cuddled a lot Jethro still is a lap cat. Fynn was never a lap cat (will sometimes sleep on my dads lap though) but he loves to be picked up and carried around, and will rub the legs. He may not be a lap cat but between him and Jetty, he is the one who is more people seeking to be honest. He is more of a foot cat lol.

2-3. No difference in genders to be honest. Each cat is different and the young the kitten is the harder it is to know exactly how their personality will be. All kittens go through a teenage phase where they will be less cuddly, just a heads up lol. The younger a kitten the more energy they have so less cuddle time to. I think in regards to affection there is no difference, it all depends on each individual and what kind of affection you are wanting. Like I have a female torbie kitten who is very affectionate, she loves to be petted, can be a lil lap kitten and will sleep with me at night right by my arm purring away. While my first cat who was a female torbie, was slightly affectionate with me but was a one person kind of cat and attached to my mom lol.

4. I would recommend adopting two kittens who might be a bit older but who are great with dogs and kids already. That way you don't have to worry about it (but id still have kids go over and cat friendly dogs to).

Alpha_Kitty yes cats dont live forever, but I could never be ok with letting a cat roam. Be safe in the backyard or catio yes, not free roaming. I could never be ok with my cat being hit by a car and dragging its injured body to die alone, or to be attacked by coyotes. Or to be a reason why someone has to rehome their cat because their cat sees my cat in the window and starts peeing every where or attacking other resident pets or humans. It's not right, and many times those cats can be euthanized to. Responsible cat ownership is having a fixed cat who is secured on your property at all times.

 

[MoriartyX]

Thanks Alpha_Kitty, your post was really inspirational, I would say. I can imagine all the great things and ways to play with kittens and cats, and I'm looking forward to building these relationships with our future kittens. However, as cataholic07 pointed out, I don't think we'd let our cats roam outside. Besides, many of the local shelters ask for apartments with rigid mosquito net windows and the like, as they have many stories of cats that fell from balconies or jumped out to roam and never came back.

I'm not worried about playing with them: I've always been the one who played with puppies when I lived with my parents, and last Christmas, when they just adopted a 9-month dog and I was there visiting, it was me who spent my days unsuccessfully trying to tire her As I'm working from home and it really looks like it's going to last for many months more (and anyway, even when going to the office, I work from 9 to 4:30 and always rush to go back home!) I'm confident I'll be able to play with them a lot.

I admit I'm a bit worried about getting two! I know it's better for them and for us, but the idea of having not one but two little devils going around... I see why my wife is worried haha

I'll let you know what we do in the end, because I'll be reading and asking a lot more once it happens

 

[She's a witch]

I admit I'm a bit worried about getting two! I know it's better for them and for us, but the idea of having not one but two little devils going around... I see why my wife is worried haha

The good thing about having two devils is that their devil-ish energy will mainly be focused on themselves and not on you. Lonely kitten will want to bite your hands, attack your feet etc. You will not keep up with a small kitten, even comparing to most puppies they have way more energy. And since most kittens in the US are separated from their families way too early, having two kittens is crucial imo to ensure they have the least behavioral problems possible. And it's important to have cats that know how to play nicely if you're going to have a human baby around.
Most often than not, two kittens are less work than one. But I also know it's counter intuitive and I understand your wife reservation.
Some articles for you to read if you want to:
Single-Kitten Syndrome - MEOW Cat Rescue
Delayed weaning reduces behavioural problems in cats

 

[pearl99]

The other consideration is night time kitten antics (usually on your bed) when you want to sleep, if you have the kitty able to come and go from your room. With one, it's all focused on you. With 2, if they are too much to have in your room and you need to close them out of the room at first, they will have each other to romp with till they go to sleep.
Are we convincing you and your wife yet?

 

[MoriartyX]

Hahaha it definitely sounds like a pair is the way to go!

However, what I understand is, if we finally only adopt one, better to be 12 or even more weeks old than a tiny 2-months old. Luckily many of the shelters and refuges here have littermates staying together in volunteers' houses until they are adopted, so I hope this way the little one will have more time to socialize properly.

In any case, I'm aiming for two. I'm already imagining two furballs from hell running at night, and I know I'll be smiling when abruptly awakened. My wife probably won't, but she'll love them anyway

 

[pearl99]

I've adopted at 8 weeks and 12 weeks, and I think 10-12 weeks is the way to go. Not to say 8 weeks won't work, but they are so young and tiny.
I can't believe when I was a child we adopted our first kitten at 6 weeks!! That was back in the 1960's, a different era.