I am losing my baby, Mittens, and feel so lost and hopeless.

Loving Mickey

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Hello TCS family. I am not sure if anyone will remember me ,as I haven't posted in awhile.
Life has not been good lately.
I am now sitting here holding my precious Mittens. Tears are streaming down my face as I know I am losing him. To try to sum things up briefly , several months back I noticed he was drinking and urinating much more than usual. I immediately thought of kidney disease. Since he was due for his annual check up anyway I made an appointment with his vet and told him of my concerns.
Immediately full blood work up was done ,urine test , the works.
Several days later results were in. I was right kidney disease. Vet said there was hope. Medications should help greatly , if he responded well , he could still have months maybe even years left.
I was hopeful. However, he seemed to respond well at first but then did not if that makes sense.
The vet added more medications and I kept hoping. Nothing seems to be working.
I know that his vet and I tried everything to help him , but I still feel like I failed him. It is somehow my fault.
He is now cradled in my arms purring away.
I keep telling him how loved he is and how my life will have no meaning when he is gone.
He is such a sweet kitty who had a hard life before I adopted him.
He does not deserve any of this!
I don't really expect many responses. There is really nothing to say or nothing that I can do to stop this from happening.
I think I needed to just write this all out to people that I know would understand.
If you have even read all this , I so appreciate this.
Prayers for Mittens please and for me that I can cope once he is gone.
 

verna davies

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I am so sorry you are going through this, it is really hard. Nothing anyone can say or do will help but Mittens knows you are there for him and how much he is loved. The fact that he is purring means he is content to be with you. Sending you both hugs and my thoughts are with you.
 

di and bob

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Of course I remember you, Loving Mickey Loving Mickey , on the crossing the Bridge forum before, with Mickey......
Words will never take away your pain, but i hope you will find that knowing there are others out here that will be with you in spirit, who can empathize with your loneliness and helplessness, and will stay beside you during this time of pain and can be of a tremendous comfort. To share one's pain is a way to let a little of it go.
I know of your huge heart and the love you have to offer these little ones. That is why you are so filled with pain right now. it is alright to be sad, to be grieving for what is to come, to feel angry and cheated. Grieving is all those things, and though you may feel you can prepare for what is in the future, there is no way to prepare your heart when the time finally arrives.
Your sweet Mittens knows he is loved, and to him that is all that matters. Cats live one day at a time,to have you nearby, to know that you will be there, and that you are trying to help him, is all that he cares about. It is all you can do and it is all that matters. Just love him as hard and for as long as you can. Offer comfort in the bad times, do what you can medically, and above all know his soul and yours will be forever entertwined, that love is spiritual and will be with you forever. Live these times as you know he would do for you if you were the one hurting. Be there, give unconditional love, and above all, live one day at a time,,,,,,,,,
 

Purr-fect

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Mittens is still purring. He is happy and that is what matters most.

Be happy that he is happy.

If you are upset he will notice and it will affect him.

Loosing is part of loving.

Plenty of time to grieve latter.

Perhaps spend this time living and loving with mittens.

Hugs, kisses, spoil him. Make every day count.
 

Jem

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I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Your grief will make you feel like you didn't do enough, that you could have tried harder, that you may have missed something, but please know that you have provided him with more than enough. Mittens will always be grateful for everything you've done for him. You did not fail him. You have provided him will all the care any kitty would be lucky to have. He knows a life with you that is full of love, compassion and kindness, which he will have until the end and carry with him beyond. You have done right by him and he knows it.
It's not easy, but I do hope you find peace and comfort during his final times knowing what an amazing life you were able to give your Mittens.
 

Margret

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Oh, Loving Mickey Loving Mickey , I'm so sorry to hear this.

First things first, and I can't say this strongly enough - It is not your fault!!! You did nothing to cause this. You feel guilty because if there were something that you did wrong, and you could just figure out what that "something" was, you could prevent this from ever happening again, and on some level you'd rather feel guilty than helpless. This is perfectly normal; I, also, would prefer to feel guilty than helpless. The only problem is that it isn't based in reality. We don't know enough about CKD in cats to prevent or cure it. Maybe someday we will, but not now.

Second, your life does have meaning, and will continue to be meaningful after you lose Mittens, just as it continued to be meaningful after you lost Mickey. Losing Mittens will be painful. You'll need to grieve, maybe for a long time, but you will continue to be a loving person, and the world needs all the loving people we can get.

Third, I'll send you a private message.

Margret
 

danteshuman

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I am so sorry you are loosing him! I would suggest you look at god crossing the bridge forum & start looking for a vet that can do a home visit if need be (to let him go peacefully.)

I have not heard one owner who didn’t second guess their choices/ feel guilty. Putting Dante down broke my heart but I did it for him, so he wouldn’t suffer. Over a year later, I still wish I could have saved him ..... if only a thousand things! So take lots of videos & pictures (& let his passing be as peaceful as possible.)

D339D575-9684-4EF6-BE25-87743D6330F7.jpeg

97F71555-1986-4291-B68E-48AF11182EC2.jpeg

CE2C6591-462B-45E2-B728-7DDD0E6D4E13.jpeg
 

DreamerRose

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I remember you, too, and I am very sorry this is happening to Mittens, but I am glad you came to TCS to share your sorrow. I can't add to the lovely responses you've already gotten, except to hop you can enjoy Mittens in the time you have left and give him all the love you can. When the time comes, you will have done all you could. Blessings.:vibes::vibes::vibes:
 

CatGuyAZ

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Loving Mickey,

I know so well what you're feeling. I've lost two beloved, extra-special cats after medical battles (one less than two weeks ago), and while in my head I know I did all I can for them, I feel like I let them down. With the first one, the guilt was a surprise to me... I had never lost someone who depended on me before (human or otherwise), but in my grief, I talked to a lot of people who had gone through the same thing, and they all felt guilt. Guilt is a monster, and when you lose a pet, it will come for you, guaranteed, and it will lie to you. It's not you who is at fault!

We love our kitties so much and want to protect them from everything, and we succeed for a while... maybe a long while, well over a decade. Eventually, though, something comes along and we can't help them this time. We knew it was coming when we adopted our sweet little companions, but somehow it comes as a surprise anyway. We're only humans, and we can only do so much. The rest of it is out of our hands.

This is my first post here... I was just starting to read the forum and I saw this, and man, I could have written this. I don't know how many times that my sweet cat didn't deserve any of this. He was all heart, and I felt (and feel) so bad that I could not save him. I tried, with every resource I had, but it was out of my hands. I kept telling him how much I would be lost without him, how much he's meant to me over the years, and how sorry I was that I couldn't help him. He was purring as I pet him and told him all of this, and I tried to tell myself not to grieve before he was gone, but my heart was breaking. Believe me, you're not alone.

Please don't think your life has no meaning without your sweet boy. I know he is a part of you and it feels like you're being torn in two, but that's only because you love so much. You can't have a love like that and not be torn up when things like this happen. My life revolved around my cat, maybe a bit too much, but I didn't care; I loved it, and so did he, and he had a wonderful, successful life, and I am sure your kitty did too. People who feel the loss as deeply as you obviously are are too loving to ever think otherwise.

I am very sorry for what is happening to your sweet cat, and to you as a result.
 

Margret

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C CatGuyAZ , welcome to The Cat Site. I'm very sorry that it was the loss of one of your beloved kitties that brought you here, but I'm glad you found us anyway, not least because you'll discover that this is both the largest and the best community of cat lovers to be found on the internet, and we all understand what it is to lose a cat. Be aware that we're all here for you in your time of grief, whether you need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen when you want to tell us how wonderful your cats were.

You may find this thread to be helpful in your bereavement: Grieving. And be aware that, because TCS has so many members, from all across the planet, there's always someone available on TCS when you need an understanding ear.

Margret
 

Antonio65

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Several days later results were in. I was right kidney disease. Vet said there was hope. Medications should help greatly , if he responded well , he could still have months maybe even years left.
I was hopeful. However, he seemed to respond well at first but then did not if that makes sense.
The vet added more medications and I kept hoping. Nothing seems to be working.
I'm so sorry for you, I know how you feel, because I was there before...

Might I ask you what kind of medications your vet prescribed and what is going on with Mittens?
Can we know the blood works?
 

Jemima Lucca

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My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost both my beloved cats a year apart to kidney failure. It’s so hard to lose a beloved cat. Mine were both 16 when they passed. I’m sorry you have to go through this. We live much longer than them which makes it so sad. If only they were with us as a lifelong companion...😢❤
 

CatLover49

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Hello TCS family. I am not sure if anyone will remember me ,as I haven't posted in awhile.
Life has not been good lately.
I am now sitting here holding my precious Mittens. Tears are streaming down my face as I know I am losing him. To try to sum things up briefly , several months back I noticed he was drinking and urinating much more than usual. I immediately thought of kidney disease. Since he was due for his annual check up anyway I made an appointment with his vet and told him of my concerns.
Immediately full blood work up was done ,urine test , the works.
Several days later results were in. I was right kidney disease. Vet said there was hope. Medications should help greatly , if he responded well , he could still have months maybe even years left.
I was hopeful. However, he seemed to respond well at first but then did not if that makes sense.
The vet added more medications and I kept hoping. Nothing seems to be working.
I know that his vet and I tried everything to help him , but I still feel like I failed him. It is somehow my fault.
He is now cradled in my arms purring away.
I keep telling him how loved he is and how my life will have no meaning when he is gone.
He is such a sweet kitty who had a hard life before I adopted him.
He does not deserve any of this!
I don't really expect many responses. There is really nothing to say or nothing that I can do to stop this from happening.
I think I needed to just write this all out to people that I know would understand.
If you have even read all this , I so appreciate this.
Prayers for Mittens please and for me that I can cope once he is gone.
Prayers and comfort to Mittens and You🙏
 
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Loving Mickey

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Wow! Thank You all so much for reading and responding to my thread.
I am just seeing all the responses. I didn't really expect too many responses. Happy to see that some remember me as well.
You people are really wonderful and I am so grateful for all your concern about my Mittens.
He is not doing well at all , only a matter of time now.
My head can face reality but tell that to my heart , which is breaking right now.
Anyway , I am now going to respond to each one of you individually, which is what you all deserve!
 
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  • #20

Loving Mickey

Mickey , my heart and soul Angel kitty
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Oh I'm so sorry that you and Mittens are going through such a tough time. Sending you love and will keep Mittens in my prayers. Hang in there.. Easier said than done I know 💞
Thank You so much!
I truly appreciate you responding.
We both can use all the prayers in the world!
 
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