I Really Need To Vent... Life With Our Elderly Cat

[basschick]

HK turned 20 last fall. he's got a variety of issues including IBS, hyperthyroid, kidney disease and so on. he's on a variety of meds, lactated ringers, injectible B12. his IBS means that sometimes he vomits when he poops. he has arthritis, but cosequin, which helped a lot, also gave him diahrrea that led to weight loss.

ah, weight loss. for years he was an overweight, 16 1/2 pound cat. not a REALLY fat cat, but chunky. but his IBS (the vets used to speculate on whether it could be cancer) is leading to his absorbing less nutrition from his food as time goes on. he weighs in at only 7 1/2 pounds now. he's REALLY thin, but here's the thing - he still climbs up on the couch with the help of an ottoman, my bed, which has a second ottoman. he talks to us, sits with us, will let us scritch his ears or rub his chin for long periods of time. he still watches if a moth flies by or there's some kind of action. he's engaged.

he's never been a cat who likes to be alone, but after his companion died a few years ago, he didn't want another cat, so i've become that companion. luckily i work at home.

but it's exhausting! and in the last month, as he gets hungrier more frequently and just wants more company, i average 3 1/2 to 4 hours of sleep, thrilled if i get 6 interrupted hours as i rarely sleep more than 2 1/2 hours at a time. yesterday he woke me up mowing loudly. i started to pet him and he pooped on the bed. for some reason, he always tells me when he is going to poop even if he goes on the tray, but i was mostly asleep yesterday and didn't register what might be happening.

luckily he does this frequently enough that the bed is covered by a tarp, then a sheet, and now a doubled over blanket. then a towel, which he lies on and pooped on, so it wasn't a disaster, but it woke me up and got me dealing with it. then i lay back down and he informed me he was hungry. there were 4 different plates of wet food on the floor, but he's always liked having us feed him, and he's even more flavor-picky than he always was.

i'm so tired all the time, too tired to have fun or think clearly. we worry about HK all the time - he's mentally alert but he's an elderly cat with all sorts of issues. two weeks ago, we took him to the vet thinking this might be a 2-day warning, and instead it turned out he was VERY low on potassium, so now he's on a supplement and doing much better. my husband and i cried while they ran the tests. part of me would have been relieved to let HK go, but the rest of me wanted to take him home, save him and protect him. my husband felt the same. and that's what we did. for now. now is what we have.

we're spending $800 a month or more on HK. $400 of that that we don't have is on cat food because he rejects at least 14 cans a day and then there are the partial cans he eats - oh, and the paper plates are up to about $12 plus tax a week. he's on $160 or more of medications, his lactated ringers and tube sets, the B12, potassium and the vet costs. we've maxed our care credit card. the cat who used to live with us and HK who died, his rare heart condition took all our savings.

our vet isn't top notch, but the other vets in the area haven't been, either, plus the other vets have dogs in the office. if we had a great vet, i might feel better about stuff. as it is, half the time i have to research stuff and ask her about things, as she often doesn't think of stuff. when he was severely depleted of B12, with absolutely textbook symptoms, neither the vet nor her boss thought of B12 deficiency.

my mom developed dementia in 2008, and i became the point "man" for her care. it was exhausting and awful, and before she passed away, my husband developed an odd type of kidney stone, and these never passed on their own and lead to a number of infections that lead to numerous 4- to 8-day hospital stays as well as procedures. just before that, jeep was diagnosed with a rare type of congestive heart failure. this led to many specialist trips, an entire plethora of medications, and each time his chest would fill with fluids, we'd have to take him in to get his chest tapped.

so you can imagine when HK began to have more health issues, i was already virtually out of emotional resources. my husband is the best, but we were... words fail me. my son (he's an adult and lives fairly close) has helped with a trip to the vet and repeated prescription pickups.

i have lost track of my friends. i can't make plans any more because who wants to go to disneyland or the beach on 3 hours of sleep? we're broke, and we're sad and it's so hard, so exhausting. the few people who still come by ask "are you sure you're doing the right thing, not putting him to sleep? are you sure he's not suffering?" yes, i'm pretty sure. euthanizing someone who's mostly happy, loves to eat and enjoys life isn't something i would do. why are so many people convinced that elderly equals suffering?

we love HK so much. his health issues seem to bother us more than he. he still purrs when we pet him, talks to us conversationally, he's loving, demanding and doesn't even know he has issues most of the time. and we wouldn't do anything other than what we're doing.

i thank you for "listening". no one who's not a certain kind of animal lover gets this. they see HK thin and assume he must be very poorly off, and we're keeping him alive even though he's suffering. he has maybe 10 rough minutes a day some days, none other days. i wouldn't do less for him than for anyone i love, and i'm happy he's still with us. and when he passes on, we'll know we did our very best for him and that he's had an exceptionally good life. but for now, we cherish him and care for him, spend all the time we can with him and do our best.

 

[FeralRussian]

Oh! When it rains, it pours. You’re doing the best you can and then a thousand miles more. It doesn’t help to say it’ll get better, but it will. There are those days when all you can do is take one moment at a time even when it seems like you simply can’t. Somehow, some way it happens. And do I ever know what it is like when “friends” out there blithely call up wanting to do something fun, oblivious to the excruciating moments, thinking they are helping, but unknowingly adding to the stress.

It’s all so fine and dandy to be told you need respite care time, but how when there are a million things that would go to hell in a nano second. Maddening. But you do need a break. I don’t have any solutions. But I do know how it feels to be trapped, especially when it is a situation that you feel no one else can do what you do. All that I can say is one moment at a time. And to vent as often as you can. It may sound silly, but it really does help alleviate the enormous anxiety and pressure. It’s ok to say you’re exhausted. As anyone would be with a mere hundredth of what you are going through.

 

[basschick]

thank you - it does help to vent, but my husband takes what's going on harder than i do, and no one else here gets it.

it's a relief to communicate with someone who does get it. i'm not sure why, but your reply took a little of the weight off my chest. i'm not likely to get that respite care time, but i feel a little less alone. that makes a difference.

 

[di and bob]

You DO need respite care. If you can't train someone that HK will warm to, at the very least have your husband watch him one day and you another and let the one get some much needed rest. You know in your heart the end is near, a twenty year old cat is equal to a 100 plus human years.
I know how you feel, my Burt was only 16 but he went down hill and needed a lot of end of life attention and care. One day he stumbled and fell off the counter (he could still get up there with a chair for help,) and he loved it so.... somehow I ran across and caught him and it scared me so bad I yelled at him! A dying cat and I yelled! I was so ashamed I held him for a long time after, apologizing and loving him. I will never forgive myself. We all make mistakes, we are not perfect.
The amount you are spending is horrendous. At the end of life I would concentrate on what he WILL eat and not so much on nutrition. Burt ate McNuggets, Arby's roast beef, and deli chicken and beef. Whatever he wanted.
Something I would suggest, is to ask the vet for an injection of pain medicine, or at least a liquid to squirt into the side of his mouth. Death does not come easy, they fight against it to the very end and it is so hard to witness.....Naturally my two vets were both at the scene of an overturned cattle truck, and were not available. We wanted Burt to die at home where he was most comfortable.
My heart goes out to you, I know words cannot take care of what you are going through, but I want you to know I'll pray for you all, and most of all that that sweet boy will pass quietly into the night during sleep. Please come here when ever you want, it does help to talk out your feelings. Especially when so many of us have been through this. May God bless you all and be there for you in your time of need and bring you peace....

 

[basschick]

my husband does most of the care when he's here, i do nights and daytime when my husband's at work. on weekends, my sweetie will spot me a long nap and i'll let him sleep in by taking care of HK till 11ish. it's amazing how much care one 7 1/2 pound elderly gentleman cat needs.

i'm so sorry to hear about burt, but you obviously loved and cared for him, and less than a minute of yelling against years of love isn't much - he knew you loved him, and that's what counts. not many cats get to feast on mcnuggets. mouse, my cat companion for many years, would only eat one brand of sliced deli turkey at the end. she REALLY liked it, and she did go in her sleep.

HK is rarely in pain, thank goodness. and if the time comes, and HK doesn't go in his sleep, we have the phone number of a housecall vet who's super kind and will come out any time 24/7 if a cat is in pain or having issues.

thank you so much...

 

[FeralRussian]

I’d give you a hug and the two of you a week off if I could. There is always someone here 24/7 to listen.

 

[di and bob]

I'm so happy you seem to have a complete understanding of your sweet cat's needs. It helps to know you aren't alone, maybe you can help others here get organized and know what to expect. Burt was one one the very few that died of old age in our household, most died on our horrible street. The three housecats I have now are not allowed out, but the ferals and starys still get killed, it's amazing how much heartache you can take......

 

[Stinky15]

HK turned 20 last fall. he's got a variety of issues including IBS, hyperthyroid, kidney disease and so on. he's on a variety of meds, lactated ringers, injectible B12. his IBS means that sometimes he vomits when he poops. he has arthritis, but cosequin, which helped a lot, also gave him diahrrea that led to weight loss.

ah, weight loss. for years he was an overweight, 16 1/2 pound cat. not a REALLY fat cat, but chunky. but his IBS (the vets used to speculate on whether it could be cancer) is leading to his absorbing less nutrition from his food as time goes on. he weighs in at only 7 1/2 pounds now. he's REALLY thin, but here's the thing - he still climbs up on the couch with the help of an ottoman, my bed, which has a second ottoman. he talks to us, sits with us, will let us scritch his ears or rub his chin for long periods of time. he still watches if a moth flies by or there's some kind of action. he's engaged.

he's never been a cat who likes to be alone, but after his companion died a few years ago, he didn't want another cat, so i've become that companion. luckily i work at home.

but it's exhausting! and in the last month, as he gets hungrier more frequently and just wants more company, i average 3 1/2 to 4 hours of sleep, thrilled if i get 6 interrupted hours as i rarely sleep more than 2 1/2 hours at a time. yesterday he woke me up mowing loudly. i started to pet him and he pooped on the bed. for some reason, he always tells me when he is going to poop even if he goes on the tray, but i was mostly asleep yesterday and didn't register what might be happening.

luckily he does this frequently enough that the bed is covered by a tarp, then a sheet, and now a doubled over blanket. then a towel, which he lies on and pooped on, so it wasn't a disaster, but it woke me up and got me dealing with it. then i lay back down and he informed me he was hungry. there were 4 different plates of wet food on the floor, but he's always liked having us feed him, and he's even more flavor-picky than he always was.

i'm so tired all the time, too tired to have fun or think clearly. we worry about HK all the time - he's mentally alert but he's an elderly cat with all sorts of issues. two weeks ago, we took him to the vet thinking this might be a 2-day warning, and instead it turned out he was VERY low on potassium, so now he's on a supplement and doing much better. my husband and i cried while they ran the tests. part of me would have been relieved to let HK go, but the rest of me wanted to take him home, save him and protect him. my husband felt the same. and that's what we did. for now. now is what we have.

we're spending $800 a month or more on HK. $400 of that that we don't have is on cat food because he rejects at least 14 cans a day and then there are the partial cans he eats - oh, and the paper plates are up to about $12 plus tax a week. he's on $160 or more of medications, his lactated ringers and tube sets, the B12, potassium and the vet costs. we've maxed our care credit card. the cat who used to live with us and HK who died, his rare heart condition took all our savings.

our vet isn't top notch, but the other vets in the area haven't been, either, plus the other vets have dogs in the office. if we had a great vet, i might feel better about stuff. as it is, half the time i have to research stuff and ask her about things, as she often doesn't think of stuff. when he was severely depleted of B12, with absolutely textbook symptoms, neither the vet nor her boss thought of B12 deficiency.

my mom developed dementia in 2008, and i became the point "man" for her care. it was exhausting and awful, and before she passed away, my husband developed an odd type of kidney stone, and these never passed on their own and lead to a number of infections that lead to numerous 4- to 8-day hospital stays as well as procedures. just before that, jeep was diagnosed with a rare type of congestive heart failure. this led to many specialist trips, an entire plethora of medications, and each time his chest would fill with fluids, we'd have to take him in to get his chest tapped.

so you can imagine when HK began to have more health issues, i was already virtually out of emotional resources. my husband is the best, but we were... words fail me. my son (he's an adult and lives fairly close) has helped with a trip to the vet and repeated prescription pickups.

i have lost track of my friends. i can't make plans any more because who wants to go to disneyland or the beach on 3 hours of sleep? we're broke, and we're sad and it's so hard, so exhausting. the few people who still come by ask "are you sure you're doing the right thing, not putting him to sleep? are you sure he's not suffering?" yes, i'm pretty sure. euthanizing someone who's mostly happy, loves to eat and enjoys life isn't something i would do. why are so many people convinced that elderly equals suffering?

we love HK so much. his health issues seem to bother us more than he. he still purrs when we pet him, talks to us conversationally, he's loving, demanding and doesn't even know he has issues most of the time. and we wouldn't do anything other than what we're doing.

i thank you for "listening". no one who's not a certain kind of animal lover gets this. they see HK thin and assume he must be very poorly off, and we're keeping him alive even though he's suffering. he has maybe 10 rough minutes a day some days, none other days. i wouldn't do less for him than for anyone i love, and i'm happy he's still with us. and when he passes on, we'll know we did our very best for him and that he's had an exceptionally good life. but for now, we cherish him and care for him, spend all the time we can with him and do our best.

Wow, I would like to commend you and your Husband on your caring and compassion. I see similarities with what you are going through with getting food into your cat and mine. I just thought I threw a lot of cat food away! Are you giving your cat any kind of appetite stimulant? I give mine Mirtazapine (over a year now) and sometimes he still refuses food. Recently I have noticed that my cat will usually eat chicken or pork most any time so after I open a can of food and he won't eat I will give him the pork/chicken and go on. I am worried about not getting enough nutrients so I give him a paste with vitamins. I tried converting him to raw but he simply won't touch the raw with the Alnutrin or other additives. I'm sure you probably have tried all of this but just had to ask/comment. I too wonder if I am doing the right thing but he acts so normal most of the time.

 

[CatLover49]

thank you - it does help to vent, but my husband takes what's going on harder than i do, and no one else here gets it.

it's a relief to communicate with someone who does get it. i'm not sure why, but your reply took a little of the weight off my chest. i'm not likely to get that respite care time, but i feel a little less alone. that makes a difference.

I can tell u now.IT DOES HELP TO TALK ABOUT IT.And sometimes u find out someone else is going through something similar n then u maybe dont feel so alone n confused.I hope everything works out for u.Put it all in God's hands n he will take care of everything.Believe me he will.Talk TO HIM.

 

[daftcat75]

I can relate to this so much with Krista who will turn 15 at the end of this month. I could say so much but my me-time shift is up and I have to get back to feed her and chase after her bottom to make sure all offerings make it into a box and not the carpet. Once I can tell she’s not going to blame a box and poop the carpet, that all her bathroom business is done for this shift, I can get four more hours to go out for dinner and a beer and continue to get fatter as my kitty gets skinnier. I stress eat when she’s not eating or barfing like she did this morning.

And I still haven’t seen Captain Marvel because even if I can find the time between feedings, I'm not certain I would stay awake.

 

[1 bruce 1]

HK turned 20 last fall. he's got a variety of issues including IBS, hyperthyroid, kidney disease and so on. he's on a variety of meds, lactated ringers, injectible B12. his IBS means that sometimes he vomits when he poops. he has arthritis, but cosequin, which helped a lot, also gave him diahrrea that led to weight loss.

ah, weight loss. for years he was an overweight, 16 1/2 pound cat. not a REALLY fat cat, but chunky. but his IBS (the vets used to speculate on whether it could be cancer) is leading to his absorbing less nutrition from his food as time goes on. he weighs in at only 7 1/2 pounds now. he's REALLY thin, but here's the thing - he still climbs up on the couch with the help of an ottoman, my bed, which has a second ottoman. he talks to us, sits with us, will let us scritch his ears or rub his chin for long periods of time. he still watches if a moth flies by or there's some kind of action. he's engaged.

he's never been a cat who likes to be alone, but after his companion died a few years ago, he didn't want another cat, so i've become that companion. luckily i work at home.

but it's exhausting! and in the last month, as he gets hungrier more frequently and just wants more company, i average 3 1/2 to 4 hours of sleep, thrilled if i get 6 interrupted hours as i rarely sleep more than 2 1/2 hours at a time. yesterday he woke me up mowing loudly. i started to pet him and he pooped on the bed. for some reason, he always tells me when he is going to poop even if he goes on the tray, but i was mostly asleep yesterday and didn't register what might be happening.

luckily he does this frequently enough that the bed is covered by a tarp, then a sheet, and now a doubled over blanket. then a towel, which he lies on and pooped on, so it wasn't a disaster, but it woke me up and got me dealing with it. then i lay back down and he informed me he was hungry. there were 4 different plates of wet food on the floor, but he's always liked having us feed him, and he's even more flavor-picky than he always was.

i'm so tired all the time, too tired to have fun or think clearly. we worry about HK all the time - he's mentally alert but he's an elderly cat with all sorts of issues. two weeks ago, we took him to the vet thinking this might be a 2-day warning, and instead it turned out he was VERY low on potassium, so now he's on a supplement and doing much better. my husband and i cried while they ran the tests. part of me would have been relieved to let HK go, but the rest of me wanted to take him home, save him and protect him. my husband felt the same. and that's what we did. for now. now is what we have.

we're spending $800 a month or more on HK. $400 of that that we don't have is on cat food because he rejects at least 14 cans a day and then there are the partial cans he eats - oh, and the paper plates are up to about $12 plus tax a week. he's on $160 or more of medications, his lactated ringers and tube sets, the B12, potassium and the vet costs. we've maxed our care credit card. the cat who used to live with us and HK who died, his rare heart condition took all our savings.

our vet isn't top notch, but the other vets in the area haven't been, either, plus the other vets have dogs in the office. if we had a great vet, i might feel better about stuff. as it is, half the time i have to research stuff and ask her about things, as she often doesn't think of stuff. when he was severely depleted of B12, with absolutely textbook symptoms, neither the vet nor her boss thought of B12 deficiency.

my mom developed dementia in 2008, and i became the point "man" for her care. it was exhausting and awful, and before she passed away, my husband developed an odd type of kidney stone, and these never passed on their own and lead to a number of infections that lead to numerous 4- to 8-day hospital stays as well as procedures. just before that, jeep was diagnosed with a rare type of congestive heart failure. this led to many specialist trips, an entire plethora of medications, and each time his chest would fill with fluids, we'd have to take him in to get his chest tapped.

so you can imagine when HK began to have more health issues, i was already virtually out of emotional resources. my husband is the best, but we were... words fail me. my son (he's an adult and lives fairly close) has helped with a trip to the vet and repeated prescription pickups.

i have lost track of my friends. i can't make plans any more because who wants to go to disneyland or the beach on 3 hours of sleep? we're broke, and we're sad and it's so hard, so exhausting. the few people who still come by ask "are you sure you're doing the right thing, not putting him to sleep? are you sure he's not suffering?" yes, i'm pretty sure. euthanizing someone who's mostly happy, loves to eat and enjoys life isn't something i would do. why are so many people convinced that elderly equals suffering?

we love HK so much. his health issues seem to bother us more than he. he still purrs when we pet him, talks to us conversationally, he's loving, demanding and doesn't even know he has issues most of the time. and we wouldn't do anything other than what we're doing.

i thank you for "listening". no one who's not a certain kind of animal lover gets this. they see HK thin and assume he must be very poorly off, and we're keeping him alive even though he's suffering. he has maybe 10 rough minutes a day some days, none other days. i wouldn't do less for him than for anyone i love, and i'm happy he's still with us. and when he passes on, we'll know we did our very best for him and that he's had an exceptionally good life. but for now, we cherish him and care for him, spend all the time we can with him and do our best.

The last 2 sentences are for you to ponder. Sure, you're tired and frustrated and exhausted and I wish you didn't have to go through that. But sometimes (much as it sucks for us) going through this stuff, in the end, makes us better owners, better people and better human beings that are willing to help others (regardless of species.)
As tired as you are, just remember many people have been down that path and know how it is, you're not all by yourself. Exhausting doesn't even cover it, does it?
Another thing to consider is this...even though he has all these health issues (at the AMAZING age of 20 and 1/2!!), I'm sure you've learned a lot about IBS, kidney disease, and hyperthyroidism and whatever else he has going on. When we had a dog with IBS, we learned a lot (which has helped with our cat with IBD.) When we had a dog with cancer, we learned a lot about cancer, and heart disease, liver disease, pancreatitis, etc., happened over the years and we just kept researching, reading, learning, learning more, and now when a "familiar" problem shows up, we don't feel as upset because we're without basic knowledge. We're upset because we don't want them to be sick, but we feel Armed in Knowledge and don't feel so lost being faced with something foreign problem.

If he's engaged in his world, engaged in you, I wouldn't think he's ready to go anywhere yet.
We had an epileptic dog who had seizures. They were well controlled with medication and diet. He was fine, until one day he wasn't. When that day came, and he no longer was "fine", getting up to leave the room to get a glass of water would upset him so greatly that he would seizure until his tongue went black. Getting any kind of work done was a nightmare. We had to call up friends to see if they would feed the livestock and do some chores because being left on his own would send this dog into a panic. That day he wasn't fine.
When he's not fine, you'll know. But for now, he seems better than fine, sassy and happy and loved. Things don't have to be perfect. Just do the best you can, be glad you work from home, and love him with all your might.

 

[basschick]

I'm so happy you seem to have a complete understanding of your sweet cat's needs. It helps to know you aren't alone, maybe you can help others here get organized and know what to expect. Burt was one one the very few that died of old age in our household, most died on our horrible street. The three housecats I have now are not allowed out, but the ferals and starys still get killed, it's amazing how much heartache you can take......

one must do lots of research involved with care for elderly family members, feline or human, in my experience. and it does help to know we're not alone. i guess that's why i vented here.

until 1982, our cats mostly died from being hit by cars or one died from poison, and she was my last outdoor cat. and you're so very right - it's amazing how much heartbreak we can take!

i was thinking about writing a piece about what to expect with an elderly cat, because it's been nothing like i expected. knowing how to organize when the cat starts doing what my husband calls "unauthorized pooping", how many paper towels you go through a month, how to use alcohol on floors, using a large flat tray instead of a cat box. maybe when i get some time, i can start and we can all contribute.

Wow, I would like to commend you and your Husband on your caring and compassion. I see similarities with what you are going through with getting food into your cat and mine. I just thought I threw a lot of cat food away! Are you giving your cat any kind of appetite stimulant? I give mine Mirtazapine (over a year now) and sometimes he still refuses food. Recently I have noticed that my cat will usually eat chicken or pork most any time so after I open a can of food and he won't eat I will give him the pork/chicken and go on. I am worried about not getting enough nutrients so I give him a paste with vitamins. I tried converting him to raw but he simply won't touch the raw with the Alnutrin or other additives. I'm sure you probably have tried all of this but just had to ask/comment. I too wonder if I am doing the right thing but he acts so normal most of the time.

no appetite stimulant - we just throw away 600 uneaten plates of food a month, as we keep feeding till we hit a flavor he wants. he eats at least part of at least 240 cans a month, and we're giving him the juice from 60 cans a month with his meds. fancy feast is usually 50 to 59 cents a can, not counting tax or his paper plates, and we buy in cases of 24 cans of cat food for each flavor he's currently eating. it's a lot of work and expense, but it's kept him eating - he usually eats at least 7 ounces a day, often more.

our vets all told me not to change his foods at his age, even the two good vets before the practice was sold, so we stick with fancy feast, mostly classic pate but also 2 chunky flavors and flaked trout. we usually have at least 4 plates of food on the floor at any given time - there are currently 6 plates out *lol* - and we feed him on the couch and the bed. we also buy some flavors with gravy or juice, and if he won't eat, he'll often lap up the gravy or juice, and sometimes that gets him to eating some of the solids.

we had a blood panel done recently, and HK was a tiny bit anemic and otherwise things looked good.

i figure if they act normal - not hiding, hissing at us, able to walk and stand, drinking water, still enjoying petting and interactions with us - then we're doing the right thing. eating is often the big catch there, but you know that.

I can relate to this so much with Krista who will turn 15 at the end of this month. I could say so much but my me-time shift is up and I have to get back to feed her and chase after her bottom to make sure all offerings make it into a box and not the carpet. Once I can tell she’s not going to blame a box and poop the carpet, that all her bathroom business is done for this shift, I can get four more hours to go out for dinner and a beer and continue to get fatter as my kitty gets skinnier. I stress eat when she’s not eating or barfing like she did this morning.

And I still haven’t seen Captain Marvel because even if I can find the time between feedings, I'm not certain I would stay awake.

i stress eat, too - i've put on 20 more pounds

we have hardwood floors, and never have i been so grateful about it. i can't imagine dealing with this with carpet - you deserve an award for that alone.

captain marvel was better than i expected, and definitely entertaining. i got 3 2-hour sleep sessions (which actually took like 10 hours) and managed to go. hope you get to, too.

 

[daftcat75]

I wish I could bag up every pile of barf (including her second one today) and send it to the FDA inspectors that shut down Rad Cat. She was doing so well before we ran out of Rad Cat. (My eventual rainbow bridge post will probably be titled, “FDA killed my cat.”). Rawz is pretty much the only thing I can get her to eat enough of right now. Even that is a struggle. The turkey cans haven’t looked right in a few purchases and she’s not so into them anymore. The rabbit gives her such itches and head shakes that I’m thinking she might be allergic to it. The duck, oh she loves the duck! But with the duck comes bonus poops, hairballs, and maybe a barf or two like today. I wish I could get her to three feeds a day so that it would make sense to hire a sitter for a weekend. But at her current six, it just wouldn’t work out. It would be too expensive and I’d burn out my sitter.

I always feel like we’re either just about to turn a corner or maybe this is her next leg down. We don’t ever seem to turn that corner. This is my first cat that made it this long. My first one I pts at 9 because of aggressive mouth cancer. I have no idea how much longer and further she and me can go with this. There were times last year when this all started that I wasn’t sure I’d get another year with her. Now I fear I might get another five and it only continues to get worse. I still love the cat but I’m exhausted and frustrated, so very tired of all the sickness and care and the toll it has taken on both of us and both of our lives.

 

[1 bruce 1]

I wish I could bag up every pile of barf (including her second one today) and send it to the FDA inspectors that shut down Rad Cat. She was doing so well before we ran out of Rad Cat. (My eventual rainbow bridge post will probably be titled, “FDA killed my cat.”). Rawz is pretty much the only thing I can get her to eat enough of right now. Even that is a struggle. The turkey cans haven’t looked right in a few purchases and she’s not so into them anymore. The rabbit gives her such itches and head shakes that I’m thinking she might be allergic to it. The duck, oh she loves the duck! But with the duck comes bonus poops, hairballs, and maybe a barf or two like today. I wish I could get her to three feeds a day so that it would make sense to hire a sitter for a weekend. But at her current six, it just wouldn’t work out. It would be too expensive and I’d burn out my sitter.

I always feel like we’re either just about to turn a corner or maybe this is her next leg down. We don’t ever seem to turn that corner. This is my first cat that made it this long. My first one I pts at 9 because of aggressive mouth cancer. I have no idea how much longer and further she and me can go with this. There were times last year when this all started that I wasn’t sure I’d get another year with her. Now I fear I might get another five and it only continues to get worse. I still love the cat but I’m exhausted and frustrated, so very tired of all the sickness and care and the toll it has taken on both of us and both of our lives.

I am so sorry for all this
you've provided a lot of good information on this site and I think your experiences with this little cat has helped others (not excluding me).
It's OK to be tired, but don't burn out. You're helping a lot of others with your experiences.

 

[Mia6]

I live in NE Ohio and could baby-sit if you are close so you and your husband can get some sleep. I am sorry for all that is happening but he is much-loved.

 

[basschick]

I wish I could bag up every pile of barf (including her second one today) and send it to the FDA inspectors that shut down Rad Cat. She was doing so well before we ran out of Rad Cat. (My eventual rainbow bridge post will probably be titled, “FDA killed my cat.”). Rawz is pretty much the only thing I can get her to eat enough of right now. Even that is a struggle. The turkey cans haven’t looked right in a few purchases and she’s not so into them anymore. The rabbit gives her such itches and head shakes that I’m thinking she might be allergic to it. The duck, oh she loves the duck! But with the duck comes bonus poops, hairballs, and maybe a barf or two like today. I wish I could get her to three feeds a day so that it would make sense to hire a sitter for a weekend. But at her current six, it just wouldn’t work out. It would be too expensive and I’d burn out my sitter.

I always feel like we’re either just about to turn a corner or maybe this is her next leg down. We don’t ever seem to turn that corner. This is my first cat that made it this long. My first one I pts at 9 because of aggressive mouth cancer. I have no idea how much longer and further she and me can go with this. There were times last year when this all started that I wasn’t sure I’d get another year with her. Now I fear I might get another five and it only continues to get worse. I still love the cat but I’m exhausted and frustrated, so very tired of all the sickness and care and the toll it has taken on both of us and both of our lives.

i'm sorry to hear you and your cat are going through this. it's probably harder on you than on your kitty. i assume your vet has had your cat on cerenia and has tried famotidine? both have helped HK with nausea and vomiting at different stages, but they're so commonly used, i'm sure you've tried 'em.

my son's cat (who i found as an abandoned feral newborn and raised) developed an aggressive tongue cancer, and it was very rough for all of us. once he couldn't eat because of the pain, they had my son squirting a topical pain reliever directly on the tongue, and then he would eat a bit.

I live in NE Ohio and could baby-sit if you are close so you and your husband can get some sleep. I am sorry for all that is happening but he is much-loved.

thank you for the offer, but los angeles might be a little far

he is very much loved. he was my husband's first own pet before we were a couple but while we were in a band together. HK was a rough and tumble little guy who loved to run up and down the carpeted stairs and chase toy mice. he's had some serious adventures as a youngster - once he was running around the room, hit a window screen that opened (we were on the second floor) and out he flew! luckily he was fine, and has lived over another 19 years to prove it.

he woke me up at midnight tonight, i fed him and petted him and went back to sleep so he could wake me up at 3:45 for petting. and as long as he's a happy cat, he's welcome to do so every single day. i've learned to wake petting him, and not to be startled when he wakes me so that the first thing i see when i open my eyes is his face right in my face.

 

[Winchester]

I understand. I know how you feel.

Ms. Pepe is the last of our original RugCat clan. She turned 23 years old in February. She is in renal failure and she has thyroid problems.

We had her on Royal Canin canned cat food for kitties having renal problems. She ate it for as long as she could, but she's decided that she can't do it anymore. That's OK. At her age (108 human years), she's entitled to eat what she wants. But the food isn't keeping the hunger at bay. She used to be our Little Chubbette, but she's skin and bones. We can no longer keep her fur mat-free. And believe me, we try.

As soon as she awakens in the morning (about 3:00 or so), she starts screaming. Food, water, we don't know. She (and the other kids) get their breakfast at 4:45, but I'm awake as soon as she starts in. So I just lay there. And listen to her yelling. Every single morning. She gets her breakfast. And goes back to sleep for maybe 3 hours or so. And then starts yelling again. When we're at work, I'm sure she's yelling, but we're not home. At night, after her supper, she yells. Water, whatever. I try to make sure the water is always fresh and cold. She yells. Rick puts her on his lap. She sits on his lap and yells. She's been to the vet; she goes about every four months for a geriatric check-up. The vet says it's all part of it. She recommended thyroid meds, but it's so hard to pill her and we tried meds with Whisper and Bootser and it did nothing.

We have days with her when the "lights are on, but nobody's home". And we wonder if she's ready to go. But then the next day, she's bright-eyed and she knows what's going on. She has days where she still plays with the red laser light. Oh, she's not quick by any stretch. Her idea of playing now is to watch the light and put a paw out every once in a while. Or she'll do a bit of jumping or running after the light. But she's still interested. That makes us believe she's not ready yet.

It can be a chore taking care of an elderly cat. People get kittens and they don't realize what happens when they get old. And a lot of people simply don't want to deal with it. Hydrox was 19 when he passed away and he had breast cancer, Whisper (Pepe's mom) was 20, Bootser (Pepe's aunt) was 21, BooBoo (Pepe's brother) was 21. We went through the same kind of things with all of them. It's really difficult when they get older. But it's also part of the deal. We took them in and loved them when they were young. We love them when they're old and we do our damndest to take care of them when they really need it. But nobody ever said it was easy.

Sometimes (and please no angry outbursts from people), I wake up in the morning and I don't hear her. And I wonder if she passed away in the night. And what we're going to do if she did. And then she starts in yelling; part of me is relieved, but there's a part of me that is sad because she didn't. I don't know how to explain it without sounding like a really bad person. But it's been so long that I've been able to sleep past 3:00 in the morning that I don't know how anymore. I go into work early and take a nap. I sleep during my lunch hour because I'm too tired to do anything else. Sometimes at night, I end up in bed and fall asleep really early because, I'm just freaking tired. And then she wakes me up anyway because......whatever.

Don't get me wrong. I dearly love her. She was a real character when she was younger and she always kept us on our toes. And now that she's an Old Crab, well, we deal.

And we have Amber Louise, who will be 16 in November. Somewhere along the line, Amber went from being a little shy girl to a demanding cat! We don't know what happened. And now she's screaming, too. Sometimes we know that Amber starts in first in the morning and her yelling wakes up Pepe and then, well, there you go. Two yelling cats. In Amber's case, we think there might be some dementia starting.

I do understand.

 

[Stinky15]

no appetite stimulant - we just throw away 600 uneaten plates of food a month, as we keep feeding till we hit a flavor he wants. he eats at least part of at least 240 cans a month, and we're giving him the juice from 60 cans a month with his meds. fancy feast is usually 50 to 59 cents a can, not counting tax or his paper plates, and we buy in cases of 24 cans of cat food for each flavor he's currently eating. it's a lot of work and expense, but it's kept him eating - he usually eats at least 7 ounces a day, often more.

Honestly I think Mirtazapine even at a low dose could help you. I don't think my cat would be alive without it. He gets hungry when it runs out but just won't eat canned food. The Mirtazapine takes the pickiness away from him.

 

[basschick]

I understand. I know how you feel.

Ms. Pepe is the last of our original RugCat clan. She turned 23 years old in February. She is in renal failure and she has thyroid problems.

We had her on Royal Canin canned cat food for kitties having renal problems. She ate it for as long as she could, but she's decided that she can't do it anymore. That's OK. At her age (108 human years), she's entitled to eat what she wants. But the food isn't keeping the hunger at bay. She used to be our Little Chubette, but she's skin and bones. We can no longer keep her fur mat-free. And believe me, we try.

As soon as she awakens in the morning (about 3:00 or so), she starts screaming. Food, water, we don't know. She (and the other kids) get their breakfast at 4:45, but I'm awake as soon as she starts in. So I just lay there. And listen to her yelling. Every single morning. She gets her breakfast. And goes back to sleep for maybe 3 hours or so. And then starts yelling again. When we're at work, I'm sure she's yelling, but we're not home. At night, after her supper, she yells. Water, whatever. I try to make sure the water is always fresh and cold. She yells. Rick puts her on his lap. She sits on his lap and yells. She's been to the vet; she goes about every four months for a geriatric check-up. The vet says it's all part of it. She recommended thyroid meds, but it's so hard to pill her and we tried meds with Whisper and Bootser and it did nothing.

We have days with her when the "lights are on, but nobody's home". And we wonder if she's ready to go. But then the next day, she's bright-eyed and she knows what's going on. She has days where she still plays with the red laser light. Oh, she's not quick by any stretch. Her idea of playing now is to watch the light and put a paw out every once in a while. Or she'll do a bit of jumping or running after the light. But she's still interested. That makes us believe she's not ready yet.

It can be a chore taking care of an elderly cat. People get kittens and they don't realize what happens when they get old. And a lot of people simply don't want to deal with it. Hydrox was 19 when he passed away and he had breast cancer, Whisper (Pepe's mom) was 20, Bootser (Pepe's aunt) was 21, BooBoo (Pepe's brother) was 21. We went through the same kind of things with all of them. It's really difficult when they get older. But it's also part of the deal. We took them in and loved them when they were young. We love them when they're old and we do our damndest to take care of them when they really need it. But nobody ever said it was easy.

Sometimes (and please no angry outbursts from people), I wake up in the morning and I don't hear her. And I wonder if she passed away in the night. And what we're going to do if she did. And then she starts in yelling; part of me is relieved, but there's a part of me that is sad because she didn't. I don't know how to explain it without sounding like a really bad person. But it's been so long that I've been able to sleep past 3:00 in the morning that I don't know how anymore. I go into work early and take a nap. I sleep during my lunch hour because I'm too tired to do anything else. Sometimes at night, I end up in bed and fall asleep really early because, I'm just freaking tired. And then she wakes me up anyway because......whatever.

Don't get me wrong. I dearly love her. She was a real character when she was younger and she always kept us on our toes. And now that she's an Old Crab, well, we deal.

And we have Amber Louise, who will be 16 in November. Somewhere along the line, Amber went from being a little shy girl to a demanding cat! We don't know what happened. And now she's screaming, too. Sometimes we know that Amber starts in first in the morning and her yelling wakes up Pepe and then, well, there you go. Two yelling cats. In Amber's case, we think there might be some dementia starting.

I do understand.

your situation sounds worse, and i'm so sorry. but there may be a little help! HK takes his thyroid medication transdermally - we clean his ear flap, then rub the medication as a thick liquid into the ear flap very gently. no pills, no liquid. and it works - his thyroid numbers have been normal for a few years now, and that helps him eat more and retain a little more weight.

i'm going to finish reading your post now, but i couldn't wait to share with you that there may be a way to help your kitty that i had to post right away.

 

[basschick]

I understand. I know how you feel.

Ms. Pepe is the last of our original RugCat clan. She turned 23 years old in February. She is in renal failure and she has thyroid problems.

We had her on Royal Canin canned cat food for kitties having renal problems. She ate it for as long as she could, but she's decided that she can't do it anymore. That's OK. At her age (108 human years), she's entitled to eat what she wants. But the food isn't keeping the hunger at bay. She used to be our Little Chubette, but she's skin and bones. We can no longer keep her fur mat-free. And believe me, we try.

As soon as she awakens in the morning (about 3:00 or so), she starts screaming. Food, water, we don't know. She (and the other kids) get their breakfast at 4:45, but I'm awake as soon as she starts in. So I just lay there. And listen to her yelling. Every single morning. She gets her breakfast. And goes back to sleep for maybe 3 hours or so. And then starts yelling again. When we're at work, I'm sure she's yelling, but we're not home. At night, after her supper, she yells. Water, whatever. I try to make sure the water is always fresh and cold. She yells. Rick puts her on his lap. She sits on his lap and yells. She's been to the vet; she goes about every four months for a geriatric check-up. The vet says it's all part of it. She recommended thyroid meds, but it's so hard to pill her and we tried meds with Whisper and Bootser and it did nothing.

We have days with her when the "lights are on, but nobody's home". And we wonder if she's ready to go. But then the next day, she's bright-eyed and she knows what's going on. She has days where she still plays with the red laser light. Oh, she's not quick by any stretch. Her idea of playing now is to watch the light and put a paw out every once in a while. Or she'll do a bit of jumping or running after the light. But she's still interested. That makes us believe she's not ready yet.

It can be a chore taking care of an elderly cat. People get kittens and they don't realize what happens when they get old. And a lot of people simply don't want to deal with it. Hydrox was 19 when he passed away and he had breast cancer, Whisper (Pepe's mom) was 20, Bootser (Pepe's aunt) was 21, BooBoo (Pepe's brother) was 21. We went through the same kind of things with all of them. It's really difficult when they get older. But it's also part of the deal. We took them in and loved them when they were young. We love them when they're old and we do our damndest to take care of them when they really need it. But nobody ever said it was easy.

Sometimes (and please no angry outbursts from people), I wake up in the morning and I don't hear her. And I wonder if she passed away in the night. And what we're going to do if she did. And then she starts in yelling; part of me is relieved, but there's a part of me that is sad because she didn't. I don't know how to explain it without sounding like a really bad person. But it's been so long that I've been able to sleep past 3:00 in the morning that I don't know how anymore. I go into work early and take a nap. I sleep during my lunch hour because I'm too tired to do anything else. Sometimes at night, I end up in bed and fall asleep really early because, I'm just freaking tired. And then she wakes me up anyway because......whatever.

Don't get me wrong. I dearly love her. She was a real character when she was younger and she always kept us on our toes. And now that she's an Old Crab, well, we deal.

And we have Amber Louise, who will be 16 in November. Somewhere along the line, Amber went from being a little shy girl to a demanding cat! We don't know what happened. And now she's screaming, too. Sometimes we know that Amber starts in first in the morning and her yelling wakes up Pepe and then, well, there you go. Two yelling cats. In Amber's case, we think there might be some dementia starting.

I do understand.

wow, you DO understand. the part about not hearing her and how you feel... it's exactly what i go through. a couple times in the last year i thought HK wasn't breathing, and the grief, fear, relief and hope that went through me is probably the strongest combination of feelings i've ever experienced. i'm crying while i'm typing this, just thinking about it.

is your cat on lactated ringers' sub-q fluids?

HK doesn't scream - he's always been a very verbal cat, and he talks to me just the way he always has. well, except if i don't wake up. then the volume increases over time, like an alarm clock. once recently i was so exhausted i didn't wake up, and he bit me! i opened my eyes, and he had a playful look he used to get when he would mess with us. i was bleeding, and had to do a little first aid before the petting and the feeding, but he still looked very cute.

so many people put their pets to sleep while they still have happy time left that most people can't imagine what it's like to have one grow old with them. i had a chow chow (very furry dog) who had been my ex's. when i called my ex so he could say goodbye, he said he was surprised i hadn't had him euthanized a year or more ago. for a month i had been carrying that 64 pound dog down 2 flights of stairs so he could get his walks, and he happily stumbled along, sniffing flowers and grass and enjoying the days and nights. and i can't imagine anyone giving that wonderful time up, but it seems most do without realizing the joy and the pain they're missing out on.

here's HK on a folded towel - he likes those. his eyes look bigger since he lost so much weight, but he's still our beloved.

Honestly I think Mirtazapine even at a low dose could help you. I don't think my cat would be alive without it. He gets hungry when it runs out but just won't eat canned food. The Mirtazapine takes the pickiness away from him.

thank goodness you got to try it with your cat - and that it's working!

our vet doesn't recommend it since we're successfully getting him to eat (albeit going through over 800 cans of food a month!!!), and he's pretty fragile, so neither our vet nor we feel it's worth risking the side effects. our biggest problem isn't getting him to eat at this time - it's that he digests so little of what he eats, which i gather is normal for an elderly cat who's had kidney disease and IBS for some time. when he was eating the same amount he eats now before, he weighed over double what he weighs today.

he just visited 3 plates and ate a little from each. he's always liked grazing, but never before has he had so many plates available at once.