If Cats Wrote Songs

Pook

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To the tune of the Doors' "Riders On The Storm"

Kittens In The Sun

Kittens in the sun
Kittens in the sun

If you give the cats some nip
They'll run and rip

If you give the dog a bone
She'll leave the cats alone

Kittens in the sun

There's a possum in the yard
We're not going all that far

Take a long holiday
Let your kittens play

You know you gotta love your cats
Yeah you gotta love your cats

Take them by the paw
Make them go "awwwww"

The world will always end, but nine lives never end

Gotta love your cats

Kittens in the sun
Kittens in the sun

Into a house you're thrown
So make it all your own

Just give the dog a bone
She'll leave the cats alone

Kittens in the sun ...
 

1CatOverTheLine

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1CatOverTheLine 1CatOverTheLine ... you’re needed here!!
Tobermory Tobermory - My cats don't write songs; in fact, Moo Shu is the only one who even plays an instrument. Are you certain that you wouldn't like a nice Snowshoe cat? Comes with her own electric tuba and three amplifiers! I know that you already know her song:

(To the tune of Beautiful Dreamer, of course):

Beautiful Snowshoe, you are so sweet,
You're Siamese but you have four white feet;
You've got the Nose Dots, Skunkie Stripe too,
Beautiful Snowshoe, I'll always Love you.

Snowshoes are lovely, Snowshoes are smart,
Snowshoes make rainbows when they poop and f*rt,
Little black ears and fuzzy black tail,
I'd never shove you in the garbage pail.

Snowshoes are just like other Siamese,
That means their owners can't do as they please,
At night when I want to lay down my head,
One rotten Snowshoe takes up the whole bed.

If you Love Snowshoes, listen to me,
You'd benefit from some psychiatry;
When they commit you, I will assume,
There'll be no Snowshoes in your rubber room.


mooshuhappycat2.jpg
 

1CatOverTheLine

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LisaT. LisaT. - That's sweet, but you can still sing it. I still sing "their song" to kitties who've been gone forty years and more.

Since we're doing our cats' purrsonal songs, here's White Tip's. She was the wildest feral I've even known, and even my veterinarian - a close Friend who never gives up - said, "put her back outside." It took years just to be able to touch her once she and her Son, Oz, had come inside. Sssshhhh... she's asleep on the desk beside me right now.


My little kitty is the best little kitty,
She is black and white;
The black shows up in the daytime and
The white shows up at night;
She's always smelled good like a nice kitty should,
She's never been a smelly cat;
When she came in, she was bones and skin,
But now she has belly fat!

My little kitty is the best little kitty,
Her tail tip is white;
She plays Mousie-Hockey in
The middle of the night;
Her little boy is her pride and joy,
He's smooth and sleek and black,
They were born in the great outdoors
But they're never going back!

We all know that feral kitties
Cannot live inside,
Scared to death of Humans, they will
Always run and hide;
White Tip Kitty's past is something
She can scarce recall,
White Tip's learned Life's secret -
That Love will conquer all.

omniavincitamor.jpg
 

Tobermory

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Wasn't he handsome? :) This is my sweet, gentle Beamer. He passed in January of bone marrow cancer. I have to write a tribute to him. It will be one of these days though. Still hurts too much to write about my baby.
Beamer’s sweet expression makes me smile, and I want to hold him. Since I can’t, I’ll hold the memory of him in my thoughts. I’m so sorry for your loss, LisaT. LisaT. I understand your pain. It took a year before I could write about my Max in the Crossing the Bridge forum.

Okay, stopping now. My eyes are watering.
 

1CatOverTheLine

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Beamer’s sweet expression makes me smile, and I want to hold him. Since I can’t, I’ll hold the memory of him in my thoughts. I’m so sorry for your loss, LisaT. LisaT. I understand your pain. It took a year before I could write about my Max in the Crossing the Bridge forum.

Okay, stopping now. My eyes are watering.
Tobermory Tobermory - Christmas is coming - writing the final verse to O! Tannenbaum Tortitude will distract you. It would also help me out since I'm stuck for a third verse!


Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
It always leaves me feelin' screwed;
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
A frightful mood do you exude.
Their ways are crude, and often lewd,
And I conclude they're simply rude;
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
Engenders such disquietude!

Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
You use up all my fortitude;
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
You prey upon my servitude;
My sofa's scratched, my shoes are chewed,
You knead me when my knees are nude;
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
With attitude you are imbued.
.
 

Tobermory

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Tobermory Tobermory - Christmas is coming - writing the final verse to O! Tannenbaum Tortitude will distract you. It would also help me out since I'm stuck for a third verse!


Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
It always leaves me feelin' screwed;
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
A frightful mood do you exude.
Their ways are crude, and often lewd,
And I conclude they're simply rude;
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
Engenders such disquietude!

Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
You use up all my fortitude;
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
You prey upon my servitude;
My sofa's scratched, my shoes are chewed,
You knead me when my knees are nude;
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude,
With attitude you are imbued.
.
Ooof. A challenge from the master.

Oh tortitude, oh tortitude
How beautiful your pattern
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude
Your eyes shine like a lantern
All glowing green they watch me now
I hear your loud command, “MEOW!”
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude
I serve you now with kitty food.
 
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Pook

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Loving this!!!

Purrs
Pook
 

1CatOverTheLine

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Ooof. A challenge from the master.

Oh tortitude, oh tortitude
How beautiful your pattern
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude
Your eyes shine like a lantern
All glowing green they watch me now
I hear your loud command, “MEOW!”
Oh tortitude, oh tortitude
I serve you now with kitty food.
Bravo, Tobermory Tobermory - Encore; encore!

applause.gif
 

1CatOverTheLine

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.
The alternative (evil) Snowshoe Song (to the tune of Anne Murray's Snowbird):


Beneath its Snowshoe mantle soft and warm,
The Snowshoe heart is beating,
Like a demon taking form;
The Snowshoe sings the song she always sings,
It sounds like a wailing Banshee
Being strangled with shoestrings!

When I was young my heart was young then too,
Anything that it would tell me
That's the thing that I would do;
She broke into my house one Saturday,
And she looked so sweet that I decided
I would let her stay.

Get this Snowshoe Cat away from me -
She turns the water on and changes
Channels on TV;
She shreds the curtains, Lord, I do beseech,
Please send this evil Snowshoe
Far away from Olcott Beach!

My Friend shows up with pizza, to relax,
And with him comes his giant English
Mastiff, Monster Max;
The doggie screams, we run; what comes in view?
Two hundred pounds of Mastiff cornered
By the vile Snowshoe!

Get this cat away from me once more,
She opens all the cupboards,
Pushes dishes on the floor;
She plays with every light switch she can reach,
Won't someone take this cat
A thousand miles from Olcott Beach?

I set the toaster oven as I choose,
And I walk away to listen to
Some story on the news;
When I return she's standing on the bar,
And she's looking through the little window
While two slices char.

Spread your Demon wings and fly away,
And go back into the depths of Hades
Whence you came that day;
Oh evil Snowshoe I don't know why you chose me,
I only wish that you would fly
Away so speedily;
If I could, you know that I would make you fly away –
Away from me!
.
 

Tobermory

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.”
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To the tune of "Teach Your Children Well," Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

You who are owned by cats
Aristocrats that make you sappy
You buy them all new food
Because the old won’t make them happy.

Treat your kitties well,
You’ll be in hell if you ignore them,
And feed only the best
The one they’ll eat, only today though.
Don't you ever ask them why, they won’t tell you so don’t try,
You just look at them and sigh
And know you love them.

And you, of tender hearts,
Can't know the arts that your kitties thrive on,
And so please help them with their food,
Their attitude will only drain you.

Treat your kitties well,
You’ll be in hell if you ignore them,
And feed only the best
The one they’ll eat, only today though.
Don't you ever ask them why, they won’t tell you so don’t try,
So just look at them and sigh and know you love them.
 

1CatOverTheLine

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To the tune of "Teach Your Children Well," Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

You who are owned by cats
Aristocrats that make you sappy
You buy them all new food
Because the old won’t make them happy.

Treat your kitties well,
You’ll be in hell if you ignore them,
And feed only the best
The one they’ll eat, only today though.
Don't you ever ask them why, they won’t tell you so don’t try,
You just look at them and sigh
And know you love them.

And you, of tender hearts,
Can't know the arts that your kitties thrive on,
And so please help them with their food,
Their attitude will only drain you.

Treat your kitties well,
You’ll be in hell if you ignore them,
And feed only the best
The one they’ll eat, only today though.
Don't you ever ask them why, they won’t tell you so don’t try,
So just look at them and sigh and know you love them.

Tobermory Tobermory - "Ah, but then one night in some empty room
Where no curtains ever hung,
Like a miracle...."


Once more:
Encore!
Also:
Bravo!
.
 

Tobermory

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.”
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To the tune of "Feelings" (lyrics by Morris Albert and sung by a slew of people who should have known better)

Felines, everything is felines,
Trying to make happy the felines that I love
Cat drool rolling down on my face.
Trying to make happy the felines that I love
Felines, I’ve always loved those felines
I wish I could have more of you; but three will have to do.
Felines, wo-o-o felines,
Wo-o-o, felines snuggled in my arms.

Etc.
 
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