You May Be A Cat Person If...

[Arirang]

Simple enough. Just post those funny, odd, or sad things that are the hallmarks of being a cat person. Just kidding, there are no sad things, because cats are heavenly emissaries of joy and tranquility. Your posts should continue the sentence begun, 'You may be a cat person if...'

You may be a cat person if...

The couch that was blue when you bought it is now best described as "tortoise-shell".

Your best friend sneezes every time she is around your favorite shirt because she is allergic.

You do a long, slow blink any time you make eye contact with an animal or person. My bearded dragon thinks I am insane due to this.

You compulsively check the sides of everyone's couches for scratch marks, even if they don't own a cat.

Your first instinct upon seeing someone wearing feathers is to chuckle and imagine what your cat would do.

All of your Pottermore quizzes come back with some form of cat: Gryffindor, Tortoise-Shell Cat Patronus, Cat animagus form, cat pet.

You scare potential mates away by telling them how many cats (or pets in general) you have.

You see a dog and want to hiss.

You have more pictures of your cat on your phone than yourself or your significant other.

Your cat /is/ your significant other (in a non-creepy sort of way).

You respond to every 'meow' with 'yes, Your Grace,' even when it's not your cat.

Your first instinct on a depressive day is to find the cat and abduct them for infinite amounts of snuggletime to make the world go away for a few minutes.

 

[neely]

You share your pillow with your beloved cat instead of your significant other.

You feed your cat breakfast when you wake up before getting your own breakfast.

You remember the birthday or gotcha day of each and everyone of your cats but forget relatives birthdays.

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

.
...you have eleven cats, but think that's just one cat over the line.
.

 

[Arirang]

.
...you have eleven cats, but think that's just one cat over the line.
.

I work at PetSmart and one of my regulars has 26 indoor cats. She's one of the coolest, sanest people I know. 11 is /fine/.

 

[DreamerRose]

You hug your cat during sad movies.

You check that all the cats are in the house before you leave.

Your beige carpet is now gray.

You are pinned to the bed with a cat on each side.

 

[Katie M]

. . . if you just got a second cat six months ago, but you're already dreaming of a third

 

[KarenKat]

… you pause every time you are about to go down the stairs so as to not trip over an inevitable fluffball that has not yet appeared before your feet.

 

[Draco]

You buy clothes and furniture based on your cats fur color.

 

[Katie M]

You buy clothes and furniture based on your cats fur color.

That ship has long since sailed.

 

[weebeasties]

The most exciting Black Friday ad is the one from Petsmart.

You own more cat trees than chairs.

 

[Arirang]

The most exciting Black Friday ad is the one from Petsmart.

You own more cat trees than chairs.

And when those cat trees came from PetSmart on Black Friday and you considered it a bargain that you "only" spent $200 on them...

 

[aliceneko]

Your once white sofa is now white tinted with orange.

Your guests always end up looking like ginger cats after sitting on the sofa for the evening.

You keep the windows closed because your cats still haven't been out in the main road and you're worried that they'll escape and get lost.

You spend a long time sitting on the sofa because you don't want to disturb the kings of the house who are sleeping on you.

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

The most exciting Black Friday ad is the one from Petsmart.

weebeasties - "You called?

 

[Kitty Mommy]

All your photo albums contain only cat pictures.

There are more cat toys in the house than human toys.

when you buy a car you pick one that all your cats will fit in.

You pick out new furniture based on if the cats will like it.

You call home and talk to your cats over the answering machine when you are away from home overnight.

 

[nansiludie]

You pick your cats dinner up from the store and put more effort into planning those elegant meals than your own dinner. Case in point, For dinner today the cats had canned shredded tuna fancy feast in their little ceramic dishes and I had cereal in a plastic bowl,

 

[Arirang]

You pick your cats dinner up from the store and put more effort into planning those elegant meals than your own dinner. Case in point, For dinner today the cats had canned shredded tuna fancy feast in their little ceramic dishes and I had cereal in a plastic bowl,

Yeah, Autumn is getting a Simply Nourish topper pouch (she gets to pick, tuna or chicken) over her kibble with a side of pumpkin puree. Me? I got half-cooked leftover pizza.

You spend fifteen, twenty, forty-five minutes going through flavors, textures, and brands in the pet store... But your entire weekly grocery shopping for you consists of the same food every week, in and out in fifteen minutes or less.

You know you're a cat person when you're too sick to go to work and just want to sleep but get up anyways because you're /sure/ she needs food or water or something.

If you got a fifty-five gallon aquarium /primarily/ for its potential to entertain your cat (I love my fish- Autumn doesn't seem to know they exist).

The worst threat you can come up with for anyone is "If you don't straighten up, you're going to be an outside cat!" or "I'm going to spritz you with the Naughty Bottle!" or "I'm taking you to get your nails done a week early!"

You spend 75 bucks for a day at the spa for your kitty, but limit your own showers to ten minutes to save on energy.

You let spiders and insects roam your home because they make great living cat toys.

You buy pepper spray, not for your own defense, but in case a dog comes around when you're walking Her Grace.

You check with your veterinarian before touching the thermostat.

You glare at said veterinarian with the stinkiest stink eye when he uses the rectal thermometer on your precious baby patootsie foofoo von yumyums.

 

[abyeb]

Great idea for a thread! Here’s mine:

You know you’re a cat person if... your local grocery store knows you as the person who always asks for their left over boxes.

Here’s Charlie sitting in a box from a pet food shipment.

By the way, I’m so glad to hear that I’m not the only one who has gotten so used to the slow-blink that I’m using it on non-feline beings. I’ve caught myself slow-blinking at dogs, rabbits, and even people.

 

[KarenKat]

Hey, slow-blinking babies works! Just sayin' ...

 

[MonaLyssa33]

Several of your clothing items have cats on them. I have a few t-shirts I wear regularly that have cat humor on them, then I also I have a skirt with a giant cat head on it that I totally wear to work.

Your home is full of cat decor and even your car has cat stuff on it.

You see someone trying to rehome their cat because it doesn't get along with their new husband and you say, "the husband is the one to go."

At Christmas you get a lot of cat-related gifts.

Your co-workers instantly think of you when cats are mentioned.

You are the one library employee pushing for a permanent library cat.

 

[weebeasties]

When you go to the restroom and there isn't a cat in there you feel lonely.