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- Feb 21, 2018
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At this point, I'm sure everyone on this forum knows me as the "nervous first-time cat-mom", but I have another issue I'm hoping to get advice on.
As you might know from previous posts, I have two Siamese kittens that are six months old, female and male littermates.
At first, the Artemis, the male, was slightly more social, while Luna, the female, was shy. I was told by several vets that the only way to get the kitties more comfortable with me was to hold them, pet them, etc even if they resisted at first. Initially, Artemis was the only one we could catch and hold to pet (briefly) wheras Luna ran away. Then the dynamic switched; when Artemis started bolting, I could pet or hold Luna for very short time periods, but now, I can hold her and pet her for much longer. She's the more affectionate one now.
I think this really changed for the better after she was spayed. I had to separate her from Artemis, at the vet's direction, so I was spending much more time with her one-on-one. We bonded at that point. Now, she is very insistent when she wants to be petted and cuddled.
However, when I had to separate Artemis, I noticed that even when he was recovering, he never really became "affectionate" like Luna had. He would consent to being petted for longer durations (I think he was groggy and hurting, so maybe didn't care as much) but after he healed, he became just as elusive as before. Now, the only time I can pet him is early in the morning or at night when he is about to go to sleep, and even then, it's limited. He seems to get nervous if I even move my hand too quickly, or move my other hand as if to lift him. He basically acts like he has PTSD.
Full disclosure - one time he leaped out of my arms and I was startled so said something to the effect of "hey" louder than usual. As some might know from previous posts, he was also the hardest to catch for travel. At my grandmother's house, I had to chase him around for three hours to get him back in the crate, while before he was to be neutered, we chased him for around the same time. Also, before separating him and Luna when he wasn't "scent-recognizing" her (she was spayed first, hence the "vet smell") he was hissing and growling at her, and I had to get them away from each other, so shouted "NO" when he was trying to bite at her, (I was scared he would hurt her, he is two pounds heavier) which led to my separating them. I'm worried that this might have contributed to his fear, but it was not intentional of course...he seems very sensitive for a male cat especially. I sincerely hope I didn't cause any emotional problems from the "chasing", but we needed to leave my grandmother's house and of course, had to get him neutered, so didn't have a choice. We finally got him to the vet by giving him a sedative and all it seemed to do was make him a tiny bit slower, and even then, he would run away.
Let me note that the cat came from a breeder, where he lived primarily with his other family cats, (mom, dad, aunt, and sister Luna). Vets have suggested that he and Luna weren't "well socialized", hence the difficulties. Although I'm not an expert, I don't think this is the case: Luna is social now, and I'm starting to think that it's just Artemis' personality.
Here's what he does:
1) Eats a lot. Often, he eats Luna's food as well.
2) Sleeps a lot (more than Luna).
3) Only engages in physical activity/play if encouraged by Luna most of the time, and his duration of play is much shorter. We affectionately call him our "lazy weirdo".
4) Meows whenever Luna leaves the room, looking for her (Luna does this too, but less often).
5) Bolts whenever anyone gets near him, especially if you are looking at him.
6) Whenever you try to pet him other than during early morning and late evening times(in repose), he grabs your hand (with claws out of course) and holds on.
7) Has been known to hiss on occasion whenever I get too near.
8) Has only permitted extended petting and purred a handful of times. The rest of the time, he backs up, runs away, etc.
9) Has a bit of a belly, even though he's also rather muscular.
10) Seems "afraid of life" in general.
11) Seems rather clumsy, despite his seeming strength, he often has a harder time jumping to high places.
So I have a few questions:
1) Is this a personality thing or a socialization thing in your opinion? Or just a phase? He's been like this pretty much since we got to our home from the breeder. At the breeder's, he seemed more curious and outgoing, but sometimes it seems like the spirit is out of him.
2) Should I keep trying to pet him/engage with him, or just leave him alone? Most of the time whenever I get near, he runs. It's not just me, the rest of my family has noticed this as well.
3) Are there any ways I can get him to trust me more?
4) And are there any ways to get him NOT to claw on my hands when I am trying to pet him or help him acquiesce to more attention?
Any advice is appreciated. I'm just really concerned, because he doesn't seem to be adjusting well, and I'm not sure if there is anything I can do to change his skittishness.
As you might know from previous posts, I have two Siamese kittens that are six months old, female and male littermates.
At first, the Artemis, the male, was slightly more social, while Luna, the female, was shy. I was told by several vets that the only way to get the kitties more comfortable with me was to hold them, pet them, etc even if they resisted at first. Initially, Artemis was the only one we could catch and hold to pet (briefly) wheras Luna ran away. Then the dynamic switched; when Artemis started bolting, I could pet or hold Luna for very short time periods, but now, I can hold her and pet her for much longer. She's the more affectionate one now.
I think this really changed for the better after she was spayed. I had to separate her from Artemis, at the vet's direction, so I was spending much more time with her one-on-one. We bonded at that point. Now, she is very insistent when she wants to be petted and cuddled.
However, when I had to separate Artemis, I noticed that even when he was recovering, he never really became "affectionate" like Luna had. He would consent to being petted for longer durations (I think he was groggy and hurting, so maybe didn't care as much) but after he healed, he became just as elusive as before. Now, the only time I can pet him is early in the morning or at night when he is about to go to sleep, and even then, it's limited. He seems to get nervous if I even move my hand too quickly, or move my other hand as if to lift him. He basically acts like he has PTSD.
Full disclosure - one time he leaped out of my arms and I was startled so said something to the effect of "hey" louder than usual. As some might know from previous posts, he was also the hardest to catch for travel. At my grandmother's house, I had to chase him around for three hours to get him back in the crate, while before he was to be neutered, we chased him for around the same time. Also, before separating him and Luna when he wasn't "scent-recognizing" her (she was spayed first, hence the "vet smell") he was hissing and growling at her, and I had to get them away from each other, so shouted "NO" when he was trying to bite at her, (I was scared he would hurt her, he is two pounds heavier) which led to my separating them. I'm worried that this might have contributed to his fear, but it was not intentional of course...he seems very sensitive for a male cat especially. I sincerely hope I didn't cause any emotional problems from the "chasing", but we needed to leave my grandmother's house and of course, had to get him neutered, so didn't have a choice. We finally got him to the vet by giving him a sedative and all it seemed to do was make him a tiny bit slower, and even then, he would run away.
Let me note that the cat came from a breeder, where he lived primarily with his other family cats, (mom, dad, aunt, and sister Luna). Vets have suggested that he and Luna weren't "well socialized", hence the difficulties. Although I'm not an expert, I don't think this is the case: Luna is social now, and I'm starting to think that it's just Artemis' personality.
Here's what he does:
1) Eats a lot. Often, he eats Luna's food as well.
2) Sleeps a lot (more than Luna).
3) Only engages in physical activity/play if encouraged by Luna most of the time, and his duration of play is much shorter. We affectionately call him our "lazy weirdo".
4) Meows whenever Luna leaves the room, looking for her (Luna does this too, but less often).
5) Bolts whenever anyone gets near him, especially if you are looking at him.
6) Whenever you try to pet him other than during early morning and late evening times(in repose), he grabs your hand (with claws out of course) and holds on.
7) Has been known to hiss on occasion whenever I get too near.
8) Has only permitted extended petting and purred a handful of times. The rest of the time, he backs up, runs away, etc.
9) Has a bit of a belly, even though he's also rather muscular.
10) Seems "afraid of life" in general.
11) Seems rather clumsy, despite his seeming strength, he often has a harder time jumping to high places.
So I have a few questions:
1) Is this a personality thing or a socialization thing in your opinion? Or just a phase? He's been like this pretty much since we got to our home from the breeder. At the breeder's, he seemed more curious and outgoing, but sometimes it seems like the spirit is out of him.
2) Should I keep trying to pet him/engage with him, or just leave him alone? Most of the time whenever I get near, he runs. It's not just me, the rest of my family has noticed this as well.
3) Are there any ways I can get him to trust me more?
4) And are there any ways to get him NOT to claw on my hands when I am trying to pet him or help him acquiesce to more attention?
Any advice is appreciated. I'm just really concerned, because he doesn't seem to be adjusting well, and I'm not sure if there is anything I can do to change his skittishness.
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