One Year Since

[wt1964]

This is beautiful.
For anyone "in" cats that hears "my cat is fat and lazy" will quickly realize these humans have unknowingly failed their cats due to doing NOTHING with them...building no relationship, no love, no nothing.
Your love for this cat brings tears to my eyes and I don't "just say that". Damn. You're so, so right on and could probably help a lot of owners who have no clue to bring a good relationship into the mix.
You rock. And I truly mean that.
I hope some day you'll find it OK to open your heart and life to another cat that needs you.
As a former foster parent I'd be elated to adopt a kitten or cat out to someone like you who shows such love.

Thank you for the kind words. I may have had an advantage over many pet owners, in that I've never been married and never had kids. On top of that, I've just never had much of a 'life', so there's was always a lot of free time to bond with my Lucy. That is probably why I am still so heartbroken after a year. All of my girls outlasted any human relationship I ever had. I was always pretty attentive and affectionate, and I think I only became moreso with my Lucy.

 

[wt1964]

I just now realized that I'd posted the second version of my video. Can't edit the link, so I am posting the original (slightly different) video here today. With your kind indulgence.

 

[dustydiamond1]

I just now realized that I'd posted the second version of my video. Can't edit the link, so I am posting the original (slightly different) video here today. With your kind indulgence.

We lovingly look forward to everything you post

 

[wt1964]

As of last night, I thought maybe I was over this month's episode. I was going to come back on here to thank everyone for the support. Since my recent postings, I have felt more than a bit of catharsis and comfort with the knowledge that the depth of my continued grief is understood here. It is oft-times difficult to express these feelings to most people, and I am grateful for the community that exists here, among kindred spirits.

So, like I said, I was feeling like perhaps the tide was again ebbing for the time being. But somehow I found myself looking at this pic of my Lucy in her last months...and her obvious frailty seemed so apparent, and she was looking right at me, and my eyes immediately brimmed over(much like they are right now) and I broke down. I reached for her box and cradled her to my chest and sobbed for a good 10-15 minutes. The sadness of missing her, the thoughts of her last day, trying to remind myself that I did everything right by her, and the guilt of the little things I wish I could have done differently on that day, the month-to-month witnessing of her decline, and the stress and the shock when I had to face the fact that her meds and treatments were no longer helping. It's usually any one of these things that will act as a catalyst. Last night it seemed they were all at play. Such is my life right now.

Today, the weather is mild, the sun is shining, the skies are blue and the birds are singing, and I am thankful for it. I know that if my girl were still here, she would be at her spot in the window watching the birds at the feeder.

 

[dustydiamond1]

As of last night, I thought maybe I was over this month's episode. I was going to come back on here to thank everyone for the support. Since my recent postings, I have felt more than a bit of catharsis and comfort with the knowledge that the depth of my continued grief is understood here. It is oft-times difficult to express these feelings to most people, and I am grateful for the community that exists here, among kindred spirits.

So, like I said, I was feeling like perhaps the tide was again ebbing for the time being. But somehow I found myself looking at this pic of my Lucy in her last months...and her obvious frailty seemed so apparent, and she was looking right at me, and my eyes immediately brimmed over(much like they are right now) and I broke down. I reached for her box and cradled her to my chest and sobbed for a good 10-15 minutes. The sadness of missing her, the thoughts of her last day, trying to remind myself that I did everything right by her, and the guilt of the little things I wish I could have done differently on that day, the month-to-month witnessing of her decline, and the stress and the shock when I had to face the fact that her meds and treatments were no longer helping. It's usually any one of these things that will act as a catalyst. Last night it seemed they were all at play. Such is my life right now.

Today, the weather is mild, the sun is shining, the skies are blue and the birds are singing, and I am thankful for it. I know that if my girl were still here, she would be at her spot in the window watching the birds at the feeder.

As of last night, I thought maybe I was over this month's episode. I was going to come back on here to thank everyone for the support. Since my recent postings, I have felt more than a bit of catharsis and comfort with the knowledge that the depth of my continued grief is understood here. It is oft-times difficult to express these feelings to most people, and I am grateful for the community that exists here, among kindred spirits.

So, like I said, I was feeling like perhaps the tide was again ebbing for the time being. But somehow I found myself looking at this pic of my Lucy in her last months...and her obvious frailty seemed so apparent, and she was looking right at me, and my eyes immediately brimmed over(much like they are right now) and I broke down. I reached for her box and cradled her to my chest and sobbed for a good 10-15 minutes. The sadness of missing her, the thoughts of her last day, trying to remind myself that I did everything right by her, and the guilt of the little things I wish I could have done differently on that day, the month-to-month witnessing of her decline, and the stress and the shock when I had to face the fact that her meds and treatments were no longer helping. It's usually any one of these things that will act as a catalyst. Last night it seemed they were all at play. Such is my life right now.

Today, the weather is mild, the sun is shining, the skies are blue and the birds are singing, and I am thankful for it. I know that if my girl were still here, she would be at her spot in the window watching the birds at the feeder.

What a dear little sweet heart.You go ahead and cry all the poison out. We understand.

 

[PetsRFamily!]

I just now realized that I'd posted the second version of my video. Can't edit the link, so I am posting the original (slightly different) video here today. With your kind indulgence.

I am very new to this site and I am extremely grateful I found it. This gentleman with Lucy....OHMY GOODNESS!! I was drawn to he and Lucy immediately. After reading all of his posts and watching the videos, I felt as though I knew the both of them and I was overcome with empathy and grief and sorrow for his loss of Lucy. I am ultrasensitive as well, and I have a very hard time watching most animal stories because I fall apart in tears and despair. I feel your pain and grief, "Lucy's Dad", and I know you might think that no one could feel or understand your deep sadness, but I DO. I understand it so much and have such heartfelt empathy for you, that I shared your story with my Husband. It is almost unexplainable how we, cat/animal lovers, feel about our fur family and having to say goodbye (for now). Our heavenly Father who made all things and created animals for us to care for and love, loves these cats/animals more than we do! He has entrusted us to care for his creation and enjoy them. I thank God for my cats and I know that when we have a personal relationship with Him, when we die and when our beloved pets die, we will be reunited in heaven for eternity! What a blessed HOPE. Not only do I get to spend eternity with Jesus, and my family, but my pets as well!! God is a good God and a compassionate and caring God and yours and my tears and sorrow don't ever go unnoticed. It says in His Word that He "bottles up your tears" and He cares for the broken hearted. He will comfort you in your times of grief and pain like no one else can. He wants to. I believe the Lord has my pets/cats now, though I buried them in our yard. I pray for you "Lucy's Dad", that the Sovereign God of the universe, will hold you and give you His peace that passes ALL understanding in Christ Jesus.

 

[PetsRFamily!]

I am very new to this site and I am extremely grateful I found it. This gentleman with Lucy....OHMY GOODNESS!! I was drawn to he and Lucy immediately. After reading all of his posts and watching the videos, I felt as though I knew the both of them and I was overcome with empathy and grief and sorrow for his loss of Lucy. I am ultrasensitive as well, and I have a very hard time watching most animal stories because I fall apart in tears and despair. I feel your pain and grief, "Lucy's Dad", and I know you might think that no one could feel or understand your deep sadness, but I DO. I understand it so much and have such heartfelt empathy for you, that I shared your story with my Husband. It is almost unexplainable how we, cat/animal lovers, feel about our fur family and having to say goodbye (for now). Our heavenly Father who made all things and created animals for us to care for and love, loves these cats/animals more than we do! He has entrusted us to care for his creation and enjoy them. I thank God for my cats and I know that when we have a personal relationship with Him, when we die and when our beloved pets die, we will be reunited in heaven for eternity! What a blessed HOPE. Not only do I get to spend eternity with Jesus, and my family, but my pets as well!! God is a good God and a compassionate and caring God and yours and my tears and sorrow don't ever go unnoticed. It says in His Word that He "bottles up your tears" and He cares for the broken hearted. He will comfort you in your times of grief and pain like no one else can. He wants to. I believe the Lord has my pets/cats now, though I buried them in our yard. I pray for you "Lucy's Dad", that the Sovereign God of the universe, will hold you and give you His peace that passes ALL understanding in Christ Jesus.

I found this site and I am writing because I am at this present time, Wednesday April 18th 2018, caring for my precious cat Frank, that we learned last week, has FIP I am devastated to say the least. He is only 4.5 years young and has a Brother who are inseparable. When I think that I have cried every possible tear, more come. I have ebbs and flows throughout my day, feeling "okay" with things because I know that the good Lord is watching over us, then I will come crashing down again and feel like I am gasping for air and desperate to fix Frank. I have to feed him and he eats very little. He stays in his cat bed and sleeps most of the day. I have said goodbye (for now) to other precious kitties of mine and just when you think it couldn't be worse than the last kitty you had to PTS, it only feels worse. So I am now in the throws of another devastation, having to say farewell to my precious Frankie the Dankie. Psalm 34:17-18

 

[dustydiamond1]

I found this site and I am writing because I am at this present time, Wednesday April 18th 2018, caring for my precious cat Frank, that we learned last week, has FIP I am devastated to say the least. He is only 4.5 years young and has a Brother who are inseparable. When I think that I have cried every possible tear, more come. I have ebbs and flows throughout my day, feeling "okay" with things because I know that the good Lord is watching over us, then I will come crashing down again and feel like I am gasping for air and desperate to fix Frank. I have to feed him and he eats very little. He stays in his cat bed and sleeps most of the day. I have said goodbye (for now) to other precious kitties of mine and just when you think it couldn't be worse than the last kitty you had to PTS, it only feels worse. So I am now in the throws of another devastation, having to say farewell to my precious Frankie the Dankie. Psalm 34:17-18

I am so sorry to hear of your poor dear Frank. How did he catch it? Is his brother safe? Prayers for you all.

 

[PetsRFamily!]

The crying I do for my Lucy is unlike anything I've experienced...at least since my youngest childhood years. When it hits me, it hits hard, and I find myself inside that meek and sensitive little four year old that was me. It's terribly visceral. At its worst, I find myself sobbing and sometimes wailing as I clutch onto her box of ashes, and my tears flow without end. It's the type of crying where I can't catch my breath(again, like in my childhood).

I have no problem with crying...However, this is something different. And deeper. :'(

I would love to meet you personally. I relate to you so significantly. I thought I was the only one who took things this hard. I used to wonder if I was "okay" or normal because of my heightened emotions. Please read my post to you that I wrote today... I posted it under your video? I have only been on this site for 1 day and I have connected with you, "Lucy's Dad", like no one else. When it hits me as well, it hits HARD and I too, find myself to be the meek and ultra sensitive little girl that always cried over anything and everything sad. I too, have been known to holler out loud and wail and it affects my other cats. The type crying where you can't catch your breathe...I have been there. I almost hyperventilate and gasp for air. This is when I cry out to God. No one can help me but Him. He knows our every need and delivers the comfort and care necessary at the very time of desperation and need. No one understands our pain like Him. No one can comfort us and give us peace like He can. I implore you, Lucy's Dad, to reach out to the Lord, who created Lucy and allowed you to love and care for her. She is now with her Creator, safe and in loving hands. I could share of the love of our pets and of God forever. We LOVE, because He (God) loved us first.

 

[PetsRFamily!]

I am so sorry to hear of your poor dear Frank. How did he catch it? Is his brother safe? Prayers for you all.[/QUOTE
Oh Hello! Thank you for responding. I just started crying because of the concern people (you) have for others (me) at this moment.
The Vet surmises that Frank must have had the virus since birth. To reveal its nasty self at 4.5 years young is uncommon and unknown. I have had too many losses in e past 1 year and almost can't handle it anymore. If it weren't for my great faith in Jesus, I would be a complete wreck without hope.
His dear Brother is well. I too, am now praying that his Brother and the others, don't get this FIP. I always pray that God takes care of our "dudes" and keeps them safe and healthy...but it is not always His will and things happen for a reason that He only knows and we just need to trust and have faith. Writing like this is very therapeutic for me and the feedback as well.

 

[wt1964]

I would love to meet you personally. I relate to you so significantly. I thought I was the only one who took things this hard. I used to wonder if I was "okay" or normal because of my heightened emotions. Please read my post to you that I wrote today... I posted it under your video? I have only been on this site for 1 day and I have connected with you, "Lucy's Dad", like no one else. When it hits me as well, it hits HARD and I too, find myself to be the meek and ultra sensitive little girl that always cried over anything and everything sad. I too, have been known to holler out loud and wail and it affects my other cats. The type crying where you can't catch your breathe...I have been there. I almost hyperventilate and gasp for air. This is when I cry out to God. No one can help me but Him. He knows our every need and delivers the comfort and care necessary at the very time of desperation and need. No one understands our pain like Him. No one can comfort us and give us peace like He can. I implore you, Lucy's Dad, to reach out to the Lord, who created Lucy and allowed you to love and care for her. She is now with her Creator, safe and in loving hands. I could share of the love of our pets and of God forever. We LOVE, because He (God) loved us first.

Thank you my friend. I have found much support and compassion from this group. It is a sad thing that we have in common.

I have never been much for prayer...but in my Lucy's last year, I would have a nightly commune with God. I only prayed that He would allow us to go on as long as possible, and that I would have the strength to do right by her in the end. I had all the arrangements made for a specialist to come to us, to allow her to remain at home in her final moments, all I had to do was make the call. But what if the timing wasn't right? What if I waited too long and she began to suffer? I prayed every night that the Lord allow me this one final act of my love. I hate to say that I bargained with God, but I pleaded that if would allow her to give me a sign, so I could get ahead of this, that that would go a long way in strengthening my Faith. My final prayer for my Lucy was answered. She was getting very close, and I had to be strong for her sake. Even the specialist who came in at the end said that I likely made the right decision at the right time. When she was handling Lucy's paw, she said her pads were cool to the touch, which she said was a sign that she was getting close. I have kept my word and am now much more open to my Faith than I was before...because that is all I have in the way of hope that my Lucy and I will one day be together again...

 

[di and bob]

I believe with all my heart you will, my friend. There is no way a love that strong will just end. She will be waiting and you must be strong and go on, just as she would want for the one she loves so much.....

 

[di and bob]

I believe with all my heart you will, my friend. There is no way a love that strong will just end. She will be waiting and you must be strong and go on, just as she would want for the one she loves so much.....

 

[di and bob]

I believe with all my heart you will, my friend. There is no way a love that strong will just end. She will be waiting and you must be strong and go on, just as she would want for the one she loves so much.....

 

[wt1964]

Yesterday I happened to bump into a lady who lives at a retirement home where I used to work. We hadn't seen each other in two years, and while we chatted, she asked if I still had Lucy. I told her 'no', briefly explained, and showed her my pendant, and that was that. But seeing her reminded me of a time when I worked at her community. One of the other residents used to put out a monthly newsletter called 'Critter Corner' which featured a different resident and their pet each month. Of course, most of the residents knew my Lucy through me, so they opted to dedicate the Sept., 2016 edition of the 'Critter Corner' to me and Lucy. Forgive me, if I may have posted this somewhere here before.

 

[PetsRFamily!]

Thank you my friend. I have found much support and compassion from this group. It is a sad thing that we have in common.

I have never been much for prayer...but in my Lucy's last year, I would have a nightly commune with God. I only prayed that He would allow us to go on as long as possible, and that I would have the strength to do right by her in the end. I had all the arrangements made for a specialist to come to us, to allow her to remain at home in her final moments, all I had to do was make the call. But what if the timing wasn't right? What if I waited too long and she began to suffer? I prayed every night that the Lord allow me this one final act of my love. I hate to say that I bargained with God, but I pleaded that if would allow her to give me a sign, so I could get ahead of this, that that would go a long way in strengthening my Faith. My final prayer for my Lucy was answered. She was getting very close, and I had to be strong for her sake. Even the specialist who came in at the end said that I likely made the right decision at the right time. When she was handling Lucy's paw, she said her pads were cool to the touch, which she said was a sign that she was getting close. I have kept my word and am now much more open to my Faith than I was before...because that is all I have in the way of hope that my Lucy and I will one day be together again...

Amen. I love hearing stories like yours, that you depended on the Lord for a sign, to show Himself somehow (through Lucy) and He was of course faithful and just to honor your request. Beautiful. Interesting again, because I too have bargained with God. He already knew I would and you as well. It was no surprise to Him when you asked for a sign because He knew you would. The Bible says that "those who call upon the name of the Lord, will be saved" God is such a good God. He says he will give us the desires of our heart according to his perfect will of course. He(Bible) says that " a righteous man takes care of the animals". My desire, and I know it is yours as well, is to have our pets with us in heaven for eternity! I TRULY BELIEVE that. God is gracious, He is merciful, He is compassionate and He is love. We have the ability to love (pets) because this love comes from Him! It is reassuring to know that God loves your Lucy more than you do. He is taking care of her and she will no longer have to get old or sick in heaven, as it is with the people who end up there as well. Blessed Assurance. Love to hear back from ya.

 

[Antonio65]

I'm overwhelmed by the sweetness of this photo.
Lucy looks frail, vulnerable and probably weak, and this enhances my empathy for her. I would have liked to hug and cuddle her for hours, because her big round eyes seem to demand this.
I have a photo of my Lola on one of her last days and she looked just like Lucy in this picture. It's something that breaks my heart.
I've rarely seen a stronger bond between a human and a cat. You, wt1964 , are special indeed. You created such a strong bond with Lucy, we should be inspired by you, the world should be inspired by you.
I think I will see your Lucy in my mind for days.

RIP little jewel, you were absolutely precious!

 

[di and bob]

My Burt, too, looked like that photo. His frailty made me cry, in private of course, I didn't want to upset him. The first and only time he missed jumping onto the counter, right before he died, will be forever imprinted on my mind. Because I knew then my sweet boy was leaving me......

 

[PetsRFamily!]

Yesterday I happened to bump into a lady who lives at a retirement home where I used to work. We hadn't seen each other in two years, and while we chatted, she asked if I still had Lucy. I told her 'no', briefly explained, and showed her my pendant, and that was that. But seeing her reminded me of a time when I worked at her community. One of the other residents used to put out a monthly newsletter called 'Critter Corner' which featured a different resident and their pet each month. Of course, most of the residents knew my Lucy through me, so they opted to dedicate the Sept., 2016 edition of the 'Critter Corner' to me and Lucy. Forgive me, if I may have posted this somewhere here before. View attachment 227722 View attachment 227723

MY GOODNESS THIS IS SAD. I told you "Bill" that I was hypersensitive. I started crying (again) after seeing the newsletter. All my extreme emotions are very heightened as well at this time because I am caring for my 4.5 year young Frank, who is very palliative. I have to come to terms that I will have to let him go soon. I think of it, and I fall apart. Maybe I shouldn't be viewing anything on this site because of the grief I feel, but a part of me needs to be here because it helps me with the dire situation I am in and reminds me that I am not alone. As sad and heartbreaking it is to learn of others' stories of loss and heartache, it somehow is medicinal and therapeutic.
Bill, just think of that first day in heaven, hearing your Lucy meow and you turn around, and she is there saying hello!!! I think of that day with my own kitties sooo often! It provides relief and encouragement. I will meet Lucy to! Heaven wouldn't quite be heaven without our beloved pets we adored here on earth.

Yesterday I happened to bump into a lady who lives at a retirement home where I used to work. We hadn't seen each other in two years, and while we chatted, she asked if I still had Lucy. I told her 'no', briefly explained, and showed her my pendant, and that was that. But seeing her reminded me of a time when I worked at her community. One of the other residents used to put out a monthly newsletter called 'Critter Corner' which featured a different resident and their pet each month. Of course, most of the residents knew my Lucy through me, so they opted to dedicate the Sept., 2016 edition of the 'Critter Corner' to me and Lucy. Forgive me, if I may have posted this somewhere here before. View attachment 227722 View attachment 227723

 

[CatloverinFL]

I just now realized that I'd posted the second version of my video. Can't edit the link, so I am posting the original (slightly different) video here today. With your kind indulgence.

Love it! You're a handsome man, especially with your cat. :-)