Dealing With The Death Of A Littermate.

[Anna Jackson]

Hi guys,

I really need some advice on how to help one of my babies. I had four kittens (8months old). 2 each from two separate litters.

The first pair I brought home was a brother and sister and then about a month later I brought home 2 sisters.

Even though they were all together they still pretty stuck with their sibling and would spend most of their playtime and cuddling time with their sibling even though they all ate and slept togeher.

This weekend past, i lost my male. He got hit by a car and didn't make. The vet came over but said there was nothing she could do. He died and I prevented his sister from seeing because I didn't know if I should and I realy didn't know if it would traumatize her or make her sad. Monday morning my dad burried him under a tree in our yard.

Monday she meowed a lot and seemed to be looking for him. She just appeared to be very sad. Today wasn't as bad but she would be by herself a lot and just seems lonely now. She loves to groom other cats. After I brought her home from being spayed she started grooming the other cats a lot but only her brother tolerated her. The other kitties who are females would always end up buying at her. She's been trying to be affectionate with my other two girls but they just aren' having it.

Now I see the other pair playing and running behind each other but she's just lying there watching, looks like she wants to engage but they are bigger breeds and tend to be too wild for her.

So basically I'm asking what can I do to help her. I play with her, groom her, try to give her as much love these past two days to help her not be so lonely but I just think it's not the same. I'm thinking about getting another kitten so she could cuddle and groom and not be so lonely but I don't know if that will help. I just want her to be happy and playful and have fun. And it's not happening with the other kittens I have. Can someone give me some advice please

 

[danteshuman]

I'm so sorry for your loss

I would take her to the spot where you buried her brother so she can smell that he is dead.

If one of my cats died I would let my other cat smell their dead friend so they could know their friend is dead and not just missing. (I fall in the group that believes cats understand what death is.) Even after your cat smell her brother's grave, I would explain to her what happened... partially to help her & partially to help you as you grieve. She will grieve for awhile, just like you will. Grief is a process.

Do Cats Mourn?

 

[Yanaka]

That's sooo sad. That's why adopting two siblings is a double-edged sword I think of that with my babies from time to time. I don't think bringing the cat to the "grave" will help, she won't be able to smell that well (or the cat isn't buried deep enough) and at this stage it doesn't have the sibling's scent anymore anyway...

Just be with her as much as you can and entertain her, and maybe look up how to make the three girls closer? You can always try Feliway, Rescue drops...

 

[Anna Jackson]

I'm so sorry for your loss

I would take her to the spot where you buried her brother so she can smell that he is dead.

If one of my cats died I would let my other cat smell their dead friend so they could know their friend is dead and not just missing. (I fall in the group that believes cats understand what death is.) Even after your cat smell her brother's grave, I would explain to her what happened... partially to help her & partially to help you as you grieve. She will grieve for awhile, just like you will. Grief is a process.

Do Cats Mourn?

Thank you for the responsr. I've spoken to her about it and my did take her to the grave. She's just so lonely and always by herself and as soon as she sees me she start meowing very loudly. I'm really considering getting a new baby for her to spend her time with. Idk if that will help her.

 

[Anna Jackson]

That's sooo sad. That's why adopting two siblings is a double-edged sword I think of that with my babies from time to time. I don't think bringing the cat to the "grave" will help, she won't be able to smell that well (or the cat isn't buried deep enough) and at this stage it doesn't have the sibling's scent anymore anyway...

Just be with her as much as you can and entertain her, and maybe look up how to make the three girls closer? You can always try Feliway, Rescue drops...

I hadn't even thought about the downside To having siblings. Had no idea how badly affected they would be and it is heartbreaking. But i will try the feliway if I can get my hands on it. Not in America and these items are scarce here. Will try online if not. Thank you.

 

[Etarre]

Does your cat like catnip? That can be calming for some cats, and might be easier to find than Feliway where you are.

 

[Yanaka]

I hadn't even thought about the downside To having siblings. Had no idea how badly affected they would be and it is heartbreaking. But i will try the feliway if I can get my hands on it. Not in America and these items are scarce here. Will try online if not. Thank you.

Feliway or another similar product. Rescue is originally for humans and is pretty popular worldwide, so you might have a chance there. Catnip works, too, maybe, if your cat responds to it.

 

[mojomom]

Oh I'm so sorry you are going through this yourself, and having to watch her struggle with the loss of her sibling.

I found myself in a similar place with Mojo (he is 6 years old now) in February. Two dogs and their owners killed his best buddy. I did end up bringing home a kitten for him and it has helped a lot - but I think that all depends on the temperament of the cat, and it wasn't his sibling he lost. Mojo has always wanted to make friends with every kitty he meets, so he and the kitten started playing together a few days after their first meeting.

You know best if your little girl might take to a new friend, and even then, it might not be the magic solution - are you okay inviting in a new kitty even if they don't become besties?

 

[Anna Jackson]

Oh I'm so sorry you are going through this yourself, and having to watch her struggle with the loss of her sibling.

I found myself in a similar place with Mojo (he is 6 years old now) in February. Two dogs and their owners killed his best buddy. I did end up bringing home a kitten for him and it has helped a lot - but I think that all depends on the temperament of the cat, and it wasn't his sibling he lost. Mojo has always wanted to make friends with every kitty he meets, so he and the kitten started playing together a few days after their first meeting.

You know best if your little girl might take to a new friend, and even then, it might not be the magic solution - are you okay inviting in a new kitty even if they don't become besties?

Thanks for the advice and I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your baby. I'll give her some time and see how she adjusts. But she's so nurturing I think she would love a kitty to love up.

I miss him so much. He was so calm and loving and friendly. All my neighbors knew him as he would always be in our business and he was so tame and playful with everyone. I miss his presence. It's really so heartbreaking losing a furbaby.