Hi Nicole, I just wanted to check in with you today, & see how you are doing. I know its been one month today, & that was a hard day for me, so I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you.
Thank you, Kelly, for thinking of me and remembering that it has been exactly one month.Hi Nicole, I just wanted to check in with you today, & see how you are doing. I know its been one month today, & that was a hard day for me, so I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you.
Gosh, 8 weeks already? Also feels like just yesterday that you lost Callie.
Today is the 8 weeks mark for our Callie. It does get easier as time goes by.
It's funny, but to this day I still block the door every time I open it because Callie was a "door darter". I guess it's just habit. I wonder if I'll ever stop doing it. I don't know...15 years of habit is a hard one to break. Just lasat night when we returned from a concert, I walked inside and blocked the way, then thought...why am I doing that, but it didn't make me too sad. I just thought about her and thought about the bridge and wondered how things were "over there"
Everyone processes grief differently. AND, Sebastian was your soul cat, that's very plain to see. Callie was my husband's soul cat, (Sven was mine, and it's been 4 years since he's been gone - I rarely tear up when I think of him now. I usually get a little smile on my face when I think of him because I remember him with happiness and joy )Gosh, 8 weeks already? Also feels like just yesterday that you lost Callie.
Today is the 8 weeks mark for our Callie. It does get easier as time goes by.
It's funny, but to this day I still block the door every time I open it because Callie was a "door darter". I guess it's just habit. I wonder if I'll ever stop doing it. I don't know...15 years of habit is a hard one to break. Just lasat night when we returned from a concert, I walked inside and blocked the way, then thought...why am I doing that, but it didn't make me too sad. I just thought about her and thought about the bridge and wondered how things were "over there"
I'm taking it harder than I want to be. Still can't clean up Sebastian's beds or put the carrier away that I brought home empty or clean out his hair from his favorite brush. I suppose I'm still trying to keep him close.I told you all in an earlier post that I'm working on a little something to keep him close to my heart. I think once that is complete, I will feel a little better about moving forward one baby step at a time.
You're so right, mrsgreenjeens, as always: we're all different. Our Brooksie has been gone since December 2013 and I still can't bear to throw away the box (her favorite sleeping box!) with her things that's on the top shelf in the closet. And I've never opened the bag with her ashes; I just can't do it, though one day I'll sprinkle part of her in the yard because she liked bird watching. On the other hand, I love to see the "new" cats (we've had them since two days after we had Brooksie put to sleep: she was such a great cat that I couldn't be without a cat for any longer!) play with some of her things and eat off her dishes. I love that Brooksie has all sorts of legacies: tons of happy memories, little things around the house, and, most important, all that I learned about cat health and nutrition from her illnesses. It was painful to see her so sick but without her illness, I'd have no clue how to feed Edwina and Ireland's tender little stomachs.
Everyone processes grief differently. AND, Sebastian was your soul cat, that's very plain to see. Callie was my husband's soul cat, (Sven was mine, and it's been 4 years since he's been gone - I rarely tear up when I think of him now. I usually get a little smile on my face when I think of him because I remember him with happiness and joy )
Don't rush things....let them come naturally. Clean that brush and put away his things when you think it's time....on a day, a week, a month, a year. It doesn't matter to anyone but YOU. Maybe your project will help you move on, maybe not. We'll find out. Oh, BTW, any change in Caesar?
How is your husband holding up....with the loss of Callie?
Everyone processes grief differently. AND, Sebastian was your soul cat, that's very plain to see. Callie was my husband's soul cat, (Sven was mine, and it's been 4 years since he's been gone - I rarely tear up when I think of him now. I usually get a little smile on my face when I think of him because I remember him with happiness and joy )
Don't rush things....let them come naturally. Clean that brush and put away his things when you think it's time....on a day, a week, a month, a year. It doesn't matter to anyone but YOU. Maybe your project will help you move on, maybe not. We'll find out. Oh, BTW, any change in Caesar?
I'm sorry about your Brooksie but glad that the memories of her now make you smile and that she became a "teacher" to you, helping you to learn about cat health and nutrition. Sebastian was a teacher to me, too. I spent countless hours learning about his illness and researching things to help him.
You're so right, mrsgreenjeens, as always: we're all different. Our Brooksie has been gone since December 2013 and I still can't bear to throw away the box (her favorite sleeping box!) with her things that's on the top shelf in the closet. And I've never opened the bag with her ashes; I just can't do it, though one day I'll sprinkle part of her in the yard because she liked bird watching. On the other hand, I love to see the "new" cats (we've had them since two days after we had Brooksie put to sleep: she was such a great cat that I couldn't be without a cat for any longer!) play with some of her things and eat off her dishes. I love that Brooksie has all sorts of legacies: tons of happy memories, little things around the house, and, most important, all that I learned about cat health and nutrition from her illnesses. It was painful to see her so sick but without her illness, I'd have no clue how to feed Edwina and Ireland's tender little stomachs.
All of which is to say that I understand the quirks we all have about what we do and don't (or can't) let go of. It's so hard to lose a cat!
My hubby SAYS he's fine. I don't know...when his father died he said the same thing, then about six months afterwards he heard an old song on the radio (Glenn Miller song) and completely broke up. So...one day he'll walk into the office when I'm on the computer and see a picture of Callie on the screen or something and I imagine the same thing will happen. OR, I was thinking of sending him a card from Callie (like Kelly's sister did for her from Angel) and see if I can get him to cry. I just don't know...How is your husband holding up....with the loss of Callie?
Everyone processes grief differently. AND, Sebastian was your soul cat, that's very plain to see. Callie was my husband's soul cat, (Sven was mine, and it's been 4 years since he's been gone - I rarely tear up when I think of him now. I usually get a little smile on my face when I think of him because I remember him with happiness and joy )
Don't rush things....let them come naturally. Clean that brush and put away his things when you think it's time....on a day, a week, a month, a year. It doesn't matter to anyone but YOU. Maybe your project will help you move on, maybe not. We'll find out. Oh, BTW, any change in Caesar?
I sure hope this project helps! In regards to Caesar, after trying Feliway plugins, flower essences, and natural homeopathic and herbal remedies for grief and depression, all of which didn't really make much difference, the vet ended up prescribing him an antidepressant. We're starting out at a super low dose, to the point where I can barely tell if it's doing anything, but I see a very slight improvement. He's still not eating his full amount and is still rather subdued, so we are upping the dose slowly.
That was VERY reassuring then to have Sebastian's attending vet and the one who knew the history (both emotional and physical) to be "the one" in those final moments with you. A support on many levels. :nod:I didn't share this in my original post, but I'm so grateful that the vet that oversaw Sebastian's care was the one who called me back immediately after I left a message on their after-hours emergency line. Her and her husband (the owners of the practice) rushed over to the clinic to meet me and my s/o with Sebastian. She already knew Sebastian's history and his struggles these past three years, so she already had the "big picture" versus someone who didn't know Sebastian at all, and she could be very honest with me knowing what she knew.
Emotion had taken a back seat for that very brief moment to me the strength to decide to take away Sebastian's pain.
It's called rug sweeping. Its a psychological term for "I don't want to deal with that now so I'll bury it". Unfortunately the human brain is a very clever thing. It remembers even if you don't so all those emotions can be triggered by a song, a smell, a picture, anything really. If that's how he wants to deal with it then don't try and force it. He'll probably only get frustrated by your efforts.
My hubby SAYS he's fine. I don't know...when his father died he said the same thing, then about six months afterwards he heard an old song on the radio (Glenn Miller song) and completely broke up. So...one day he'll walk into the office when I'm on the computer and see a picture of Callie on the screen or something and I imagine the same thing will happen. OR, I was thinking of sending him a card from Callie (like Kelly's sister did for her from Angel) and see if I can get him to cry. I just don't know...
If Callie was his soul cat, I would imagine he's hurting much more than he's letting off.
My hubby SAYS he's fine. I don't know...when his father died he said the same thing, then about six months afterwards he heard an old song on the radio (Glenn Miller song) and completely broke up. So...one day he'll walk into the office when I'm on the computer and see a picture of Callie on the screen or something and I imagine the same thing will happen. OR, I was thinking of sending him a card from Callie (like Kelly's sister did for her from Angel) and see if I can get him to cry. I just don't know...
On Caesar's anti-depressant, hopefully you will only need it to "jump start" him and he'll be able to stop it after awhile. Poor baby. Are he and Boo not close?
Aw, thanks for watching it again.I just re watched the video. It's the end of it I love. No spinning around. No shouting for food. Just what is clearly a very contented and happy cat that feels safe and loved, and the hand of someone that clearly love him stroking him.
I know it's tragic, but that part of the video really makes me smile.
Yes, I was quite shocked when she was the one who called me back!That was VERY reassuring then to have Sebastian's attending vet and the one who knew the history (both emotional and physical) to be "the one" in those final moments with you. A support on many levels.
Yup - "emotion" can truly get in the way in life with many so very important decisions. Hard to take away sometimes but for a moment, when we can/do, everything may become quite clear.
And, grief, yes, is channeled differently for each of us. No right or wrong way (nor length of time) to grieve a loved one. For me, with Pipsqueak, it took a year to even write about him in the bridge. The one year anniversary of his death. His death was so sudden and unexpected AND FAST, that it took me a long time to strip down the layers of my grieving process before I felt strong again. He was my special kitty and will always be missed terribly. I still weep up over his loss. He was only 8 years old !!!!! BUT - time does heal all wounds, even the deep emotional ones. They scar over a bit and we are able to come to terms and accept the loss, moving past it, and are left with those happy, joyful and cherished memories that no one can take from us !!!!