Vibes for my Tolly please

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otto

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We're just home. Finally. I took time to give Tolly his "Tell me all about it session" on the floor before coming in to tell you. It's not good news.

Tolly has cancer. Very bad cancer, as in...the vet asked me if I have to work this weekend. His little body is chock full of it. Only a matter of days, she said, before the fluid affects his breathing. Maybe two weeks. Once that happens I will have to let him go.

So if you're praying for him, pray that when this happens, it happens when I am home to see it, and during day time hours, so I can get him to the vet quick. If it happens after 9:00pm there is nowhere closer than 2 hours away to take him.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers.

PS would you believe the first thing Tolly has done: after we had his "Tell me all about it" session on the floor, and I sat in front of the computer to write this.......he's playing with his Pink Fur Mouse. You'd never know he was sick. But he has been obsessed with that Pink Fur Mouse since his belly swelled up. I wonder what it means.

I can't talk any more now. The cats need me.

Remember...please pray that when his breathing goes bad, I am here to see it. I am very frightened of that. It may turn out to be a case of "too soon is better than too late".
 

ldg

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Oh Gail!

Oh Gail.... :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I am just SO SORRY that your little man didn't give you ANY signs, no notice. WHAT a little trooper, and WHAT an amazing, beautiful boy he is. :heart3:
 

ldg

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I had to post a separate post for the vibes, because I had to send the hugs.

:vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes:
:vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes:
:vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes:

that you'll be home, and that Tolly will not suffer. :heart3:
 

feralvr

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Gail - sweetie :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I am truly, truly very sad and so sorry to be reading this news. I wish there was more I could do or say.... I am going to send constant prayers to you and your sweet, darling Tolly. This is just the hardest part of loving these sweet babies - when they get so sick and the time has come... :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
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violet

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Oh Gail, this is heartbreaking. Heartbreaking beyond words. I'm so very, very sorry. And I don't even know what to say. I'm stunned.

I'd like to share something with you about fluid affecting breathing. I had to deal with this when my Rosie's HCM caused life-threatening fluid buildup and suddenly, without warning, she had a hard time breathing. With her the fluid was in the lungs and that can kill a cat suddenly, many times without causing any serious symptoms or even warning signs. (That's how we lost one of our other cats.) Perhaps fluid buildup in the abdomen would give one more time to act. I would like to think so. Anyway, what I would like to say here is this: watch Tolly very closely, very very closely. The milder symptoms are described in this article

http://www.ehow.com/about_6305589_labored-breathing-cats.html

The situation is far more advanced, serious and life-threatening when one sees a cat breathing with his mouth open. Please, Gail, don't wait until you see this. Watch for the milder symptoms and take him to the vet right away when you see those.

Also, earlier today, after you had already taken Tolly to Cornell, I posted to you about the side effects of furosemide. According to information one of the side effects can be seizures and I thought you might want to know that.

Again, I'm very, very sorry, my heart is breaking for you and Tolly.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
 

darkmavis

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Gail, I've been out of the loop all week, and I am so sorry to read this about your Tolly! Sending you all tons of hugs and feel well vibes and everything good. I know you love him so much, he's your special boy! I wish most for him to stay playful and not be in any pain....
 

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Oh my God Gail, I am so so sorry honey :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
I don't have much to say except to send you and Tolly much love, many vibes, and hugs :heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs::heart3::vibes::hugs:
 
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otto

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Thank you everyone for everything. Violet, Tolly did have a small seizure yesterday, I wondered if the diuretic had anything to do with it. He's not taking that any more obviously. Thanks for the link on breathing. Too soon is better than too late and I will be watching him closely.

I'm still in shock and what with all the driving ,first to and from my own vet, then the long drive to Cornell, 2 hours there, 2 hours back, and the hours at the hospital, I don't think it has sunk in as yet. But we are not moping here, oh no. Tolly's last days will be filled with cheer and love and games. I do my crying outside, in the car. I'm not having Tolly living in a morgue.

Tolly has prednisone to help keep him more comfortable though I got the distinct feeling from the oncologist that he would not be needing it long.

My heart is very heavy, but I will not let him see.

Thank you all. I'll let you know how things are going.
 

jcat

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You must be in shock and devastated. I'm so sorry to hear it's cancer. :vibes::vibes::vibes: for a quiet, uneventful weekend with your boy and that you're there when it's time for him to cross over.
 

sweetpea24

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I am so sorry about the news. I guess in some ways, it's nice that you know so you can share some precious time with Tolly. And maybe his playing with his mouse is his way of fully living each moment. Or maybe he thinks it makes you happy to see him playing and that's what he wants. To make you happy.

As for signs to look for, if you watch him breathing and his sides, right above the hips, if that area is moving in and out as opposed to his chest, that's when you know he is having a hard time breathing. Sometimes this occurs before the.open mouth breathing. Also, check his gums. They should be pink. If they start going pale, then you know. Cats also have a look in their eyes as if they know. Another thing to look for is if he lies on his belly in what is called the prayer position.. His hind legs will be tucked underneath and his front paws will be below his chest, together as if he is praying. That's not a sign that his time has come; just that he is in pain.

Did your vet say anything about the seizure?

Again, I'm very sorry but also thankful that you have this precious time with Tolly. When my dad died of lung cancer, the doctor told us three weeks before that he was going to pass. I can't say that knowing made it easier, but I can say that I cherish those.three weeks I had left with him. The moments we shared, the conversations we had in which we told each other things we never revealed before,- things that may not have happened if the doctor hadn't told us. Prior to those three weeks, we had thought he had a year and a half left. I am so grateful and I am sure God had something to do with giving me that precious time.

I am praying that you and Tolly will share many precious times and that you will be able to say good bye.
 

pami

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Sending lots of prayers and vibes that way for you and your little lamb :heart3:
 

feralvr

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Checking in this morning and hoping you are doing alright :touch: :hugs:. More prayers coming Tolly's way today. :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 

xocats

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I am so sorry....
may you both find peace. :vibes::hugs:
 

mrsgreenjeens

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Oh Gail, I am so, so sorry.  I just don't know what to say.  And you are being so strong.  Here I am falling apart.  I think everyone here is falling apart while you are holding it together for your little man.
Prayers, hugs and vibes that you will be with him the moment he goes into any sort of distress, and that it occurs during the right hours.  You have a really good relationship with your Vet, don't you.  Is it possible that you could discuss with them the possibility of them kind of being "on call" for what has to be done if it's after hours, since it would be a 2 hour drive with Tolly suffering?  I've heard of Vets actually going to people's homes to help animals cross the bridge (it supposedly helps the remaining animals understand what's happening), so would they possibly consider that?  They love Tolly too, don't they? 

Again, I am just so sorry
 

ldg

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I am so sorry about the news. I guess in some ways, it's nice that you know so you can share some precious time with Tolly. And maybe his playing with his mouse is his way of fully living each moment. Or maybe he thinks it makes you happy to see him playing and that's what he wants. To make you happy. Again, I'm very sorry but also thankful that you have this precious time with Tolly...
Oh Gail, I am so, so sorry.  I just don't know what to say.  And you are being so strong.  Here I am falling apart.  I think everyone here is falling apart while you are holding it together for your little man. :hugs: :vibes: :hugs: :vibes:
I was thinking about so many things last night, but these really sum it up.

Gail, I really admire your strength for Tolly, I don't know how you made it home safe. That must have been one of the most difficult drives of your life. :heart3: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Obviously my initial reaction was shock, a profound sadness and heartache, a kind of meltdown "for" you and Tolly.... and yet, there you are, "holding it together for your little man." :nod: :heart3: I admire you so much, and I'm sure Tolly knows just how wonderful and amazing his meowmy is. :heart3:

And while this wasn't the news any of us wanted, at least you know. I know you cherish your kitties in such a special way, but I'm just so grateful you do have this time with him. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :rub:

Tolly is one special kitty, that's for sure, and his meowmy is just as amazing. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Holding ALL of you and your babies close in my heart, and continuing the vibes that you will be with him (I just know you will be, he'll see to it!) when it's his time. :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes:
 
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otto

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Thank you so much everyone. I've got some good news. Tolly is responding to the prednisone :banana1: !!!!!!

I have spoken to my vet twice (she was on call this morning until noon) and the now on-call vet tonight once, and have finally gotten enough reassurance, and repeated guidance on what to watch for, that I no longer feel like I am about to explode with worry.

Tolly has had 10 mg of prednisone today, in two separate doses. An hour after the second dose I noticed a marked difference in his demeanor.

Now we can all relax and enjoy one another without mommie making everyone upset with her nervous stress.

The prednisone is not a cure, it is palliative treatment. I understand that. But if it gives us more time together, more quality time, I'll take it.

There is a danger of increased seizure activity, from the prednisone. If it happens I'm to take him off the prednisone.

This morning, before I was feeling so much better I had a long talk with Tolly. I told him how much I want him to stay with me a long long time, but that I will understand if he gets tired and wants to go, all he has to do is tell me. I also promised him I would do everything in my power to prevent any suffering, but I hoped, that if his time was coming soon, he could at least wait until Monday when he can be with his very own vet. But if he couldn't wait I would take him right down to the on call vet as soon as he needed.

All this was before the prednisone kicked in though. If he continues as he is tonight, he surely will make it to Monday.

Appetite is back, too. He was eating just chicken all day, hasn't wanted any of his cat food in two days. Then tonight, as I was fixing him some more chicken he pushed Queen Eva away from her dish and ate her entire serving of cat food! Tolly has not wanted the cat food in 2 days, but he ate it all up, and Queen Eva, the little Angel, let him. She sat and watched him eat, with, I swear, a doting look on her face. :heart3: Queen Eva never lets anyone barge in on her food! But she let her beloved Tolly do it.

Thanks for all your support everyone. :grphug:
 
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otto

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Ps. I want you all to know that I am reading every post, and taking note of every bit of advice, along with soaking up the love and support. I'm sorry I can't answer every one of you individually but I just can't spend that much time here on the computer, to do it. Not just because I want to give my time to Tolly and the other cats, but because the arthritis in my wrists is really bothering me these days, especially after the marathon driving of yesterday, and being on the computer makes it even worse..

Mrs Greenjeans I think it was you wondering about the problem with the emergency services. One of the reasons I feel so much better tonight is because I found out that on weekends, the on call vet is on call round the clock. On weeknights, after 9:00 pm emergencies are handled by Cornell (2 hour drive) or Latham (one hour forty minutes) But, when I spoke to the on call vet this evening he assured me that he, or one of his associates are available to me any time of day or night until 8 am Monday morning. This clinic is only 30 minutes away, and Tolly has been there twice before for emergencies, so they even already ahve a record on him.

But with the improvement I've seen with only 2 doses of prednisone I am feeling less worried that I will need to take advantage of that.

LDG, yes the drive home was, in retrospect horrendous. I do not know how I held myself together. Some strength deep within me I didn't know I had I guess. But at least it was clear and dry. Four years ago, almost to the day, I made that same drive home,after a similar long long day at Cornell, in a pouring rain with roads flooding out practically moments after I passed them. That was with
Ootay :rbheart: :angel:. I don't know how I did it then, or how I did it last night.

The bottom line I guess is: it's all for them.
 
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otto

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a second PS I think the prednisone is helping Tolly's mouth feel better, too, a benefit that we hadn't thought of before!:clap:
 

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Gail- I am also very glad you have this special time with Tolly, these precious days to shower him with all of these special things that make him happy. I was also wondering how in the world you made that drive home too :hugs:. You are a very strong woman and I respect your courage and grace through this terribly painful ordeal. :heart3:

I am so thankful that Tolly is having some relief on the Pred. and no seizures :cross:....... I hope he continues to feel good and happy this weekend and just soak up all of the love from his wonderful, amazing meowmy :heart3: :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
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